RUGBY

A South African has kindly emailed me the following joke...

Newspaper Headline
MEN CHOKE IN FRONT OF LARGE CROWD
75,000 spectators watched helplessly yesterday as 15 sportsmen choked in front of them, apparently after being force-fed a large slice of humble pie. A doctor attending the scene said that the men had a medical history of this sort of thing: apparently it also happened in Dublin in 2001, 2000 in Edinburgh and in Wembley in 1999.

CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS

FOR SALE
One chariot, (low-swinging sweet type),in urgent need of repair
(wheels have come off). One careless owner, details from Clive, Tel. Twickenham 19-13


LOST
One rugby match, believed lost in Twickenham area. Of great personal significance, reward to finder. Call Steve Thompson on speeddial.

LOST (on way to Twickenham )
(I) Lineout Throwing 101
(ii) Plan B

Please contact : C Woodward, S Thompson, B Kay (Twickenham),

IN MEMORIAM
Slam, G : passed away, 07 March 2003 Sorely missed by Matt and the boys.

Will never forget you, when will we see yer like again?

FOR SALE
100,000 Grand Slam t-shirts, ties & scarves - unused (choice of
1998/99, 1999/2000, 2000/01 & 2003/04) Contact : RFU, Twickenham.

The fact that there is a large amount of truth in the above, and that this would be the perfect opportunity to prove the English can be gracious in defeat (we've had plenty of experience over the years after all) does not detract from the fact that it is very galling to have a South African have a go at our rugby team, especially given their status as worst losers in the world, worst team in the Tri-Nations Basketball competition that the Southern Hemisphere mistake for Rugby, and losing quarter-finalists in the World Cup (putting them on a par with Scotland and Wales), so, in a fit pique worthy of a South African, I would like to remind everyone of the immortal Spitting Image song, I've never met a nice South African, except for Mrs Chariot obviously.