Thursday, April 28, 2005

THE UNACCEPTABLE FACE OF CAPITALISM

Save Toby

I wish I'd thought of that.

I like rabbit stew too.

Monday, April 25, 2005

ANZAC DAY

Has anyone else noticed that the Aussies keep very quiet about the fact that over twice as many Brits died at Gallipoli as Aussies? 21,000 vs 9,000 apparently.
PERHAPS ESPNSTAR WERE RIGHT AFTER ALL

I went to Delaneys and watched the game on Sunday night.

Oh dear oh dear.

Leicester only have themseves to blame.

They let in a soft try after only two minutes, then dominated the rest of the first half but contirved to drop the ball three times with the try line beckoning, and could only manage to score three penalties to go in at half time 10-9 down.

In the second half play was much more even but the crucial first try of the half went to Toulouse. It was a great try if you ignore the fact that the final pass was clearly forward. Sadly that left Leicester eigth points adrift and playing catch-up rugby, which always leaves a side vulnerable as they have to commit all to attack and leave their defence exposed. Sure enough, after an exchange of penalties, Toulouse scored another try to stretch their lead further and it was all over. A consolation try in the final minute for Leicester made the scoreline slightly less embarrassing but in the end we had the chances to win and just didn't take them. Against opposition like Toulouse you can't afford to do that.

And merci to the Frenchman who bought me a consolation beer. Your Toulouse accent was so thick, and my French so rusty, that I could barely understand a word you said but the beer was much appreciated, and needed.

Next year...

Friday, April 22, 2005

THE MOTORING SECTION

Hmmmmm - the thread below is currently on AsiaXpat under the "practical" listing


saab convertible servicing
Posted by
georgette (20 hrs ago)

Any good recommendations for a mechanic that specializes in Saabs, not just the engine but the soft top as well. Perferrably on the HK side.Many thanks.


Posted by Royleung (19 hrs ago)

yes
http://www.triplerichmotors.com/


Posted by fpmr (59 mins ago)

yes HP Cars, expat qualified staff-not only mechanics, but auto electricians (that's what you need for your roof)located in Chai Wan -25580222 ask for Hamish. They do all makes of cars.

Fumier - What do you think we should recommend she does with her Saab?


ESPNSTAR ARE CRAP RANT

So here we are – Heineken European Cup Semi-final weekend is upon us, and 2 cracking games of Rugby are in store.

On Saturday we have an all French tie - Stade Francais vs Biarritz in Paris at Parc des Princes. As of Thursdday nightnearly 40,000 tickets had been sold for the game.

On Sunday we have Leicester (the sole remaining non-French team, and 2 time winners of the Cup) vs Toulouse (also 2 time winners) in Leicester, in front of a 32,000 sell-out crowd. Indeed demand to see the game was such that it has been moved from Leicester’s home ground of Welford Road, which seats 18,000 with temporary seating in place, to the Football clubs ground at Walkers Stadium, and it is only the 32,000 capacity of that ground which prevented more tickets being sold.

All 4 teams are bristling with internationals, and are on peak form. Both games will be massive events

Surely games as big as these will be on ESPN/STAR – “The world leader in sports”

Saturday’s game will be a 10pm kick off HK/Sing time, and Sunday’s at 10.30pm

So let’s check the schedules…..

Saturday night –
ESPN – 10pm – Soccer
UEFA Champions League Quarter Final - REPEAT. Not a new game. Not a live game. But a repeat of an old game.

STAR Sports – 10pm - Golf
A REPEAT of something called Tiger Skins Golf 2005. Never even heard of it.

Sunday night –
ESPN – 9pm Soccer
Messina v Inter Milan – LIVE – hurrah – legitimate live sport. Fair enough. Finishes at 11pm though so could show the Leicester game on a 30 min delay.
11pm – Billiards. Higlights (if there are such things) of the San Miguel Asian 9 Ball tour from Jakarta. YOU HAVE GO TO BE KIDDING

STAR Sports
10.30pm – Tennis – a REPEAT of a Men’s semi-final match from the US Claycourt championships at Houston, Texas.

Not a hint of Rugby.

Looks like I’ll be round at my neighbours with their dodgy satellite feed yet again.

Well Done ESPNSTAR

You have truly plumbed the depths in Sports coverage.

Not only can you not even manage to show the Super 12 games live, and they are surely of huge interest around Asia to the large Aussie, Kiwi and South African expat communities, as well as rugby fans from elsewhere, but the semi finals of what is arguably the worlds premier club competition don’t even make it on the the list to be shown at all, even after the event.

Thursday, April 21, 2005


 Posted by Hello
DENTISTS

Just back from 2 hours lying in a dentist chair while some sadistic maniac armed with a drill and a syringe caused havoc in my mouth.

Top tip for trips to the dentists - take your iPod, preferably with lots of AC/DC and The Pogues on it. Make sure it's fully charged, and the settings allow you to turn up the volume till your ears bleed and the dentist is asking you to turn it down.

And following todays fun, here are a few things you don't want to hear at a dentists...

Sharp intake of breath followed by (to assistant) "Could you please ask Mrs X (presumably on reception) to call my next patient and cancel. And order some sandwiches too please."

"When do you have to be back at the office?"

"Will you have to talk much this afternoon at work?"

"Are you allergic to any painkillers?"

"I think we've got it fixed, but there's a chance...."

and finally, just as you are leaving,

"Do you have any Advil or Nurofen at the office?"

This could be a loooooong afternoon

And I have to go back for more next week.


UPDATE

4PM - the anaesthetic has now worn off, thought thankfully the Nurofen is doing a grand job of holding back the worst of the pain.

BUT - he has made the new fillings too big - I can;t properly close my teeth. Got to go back at 6 for more drilling and grinding. Fcuking great.

Mrs C - please make sure we have all the ingredients required for a HUGE gin and tonic when i get home.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

HABEMUS POPADOM

I think a curry is in order to celebrate the new pope

Friday, April 15, 2005


 Posted by Hello
A FINAL ATTILA'ISM

Attila is sadly leaving us. He is departing Hong Kong for the cold and wet shores of Mud Island where he has been offered a position at another bank.

But he will not be forgotten, particularly for this gem from last week...

SIMON - Kylie's coming to Hong Kong. Let's see if we can get tickets.

ATTILA - Kylie? Who's Kylie? Is he a singer or something?


You will be sorely missed.
FRIDAY FROLIC

From a reader

Things people actually said in court, word for word,
taken down and now published by court reporters who
had the torment of staying calm while these
exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 18th
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the
impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of
something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember
which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you
when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been
involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo.
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies
in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next
morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is
he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to
a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school
did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the
body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I
was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A: No.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was
alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive
and practicing law somewhere.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

BRILLIANT

In the middle of this stream of random consciousness from the Shaky Kaiser is a photo, with no comments against it, that made me almost wet myself

I think we should start a petition to get them to make that TV series. See who does the best blessing, the best communion, who's the most removed from reality...

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

STUPID STUPID STUPID

When will I learn that Sake contains alcohol and should not be drunk as a beer chaser

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

NEVER GO ON TOUR WITHOUT A JONNY

so Jonny wilkinson has been left out of the Lions squad.

At first sight this looks like big news, but reading between the lines Woodward is clearly just waiting for him to prove his fitness with a couple of games and then he'll be on the plane.

Stephen Jones and Ronan O'Gara are both excellent fly-halves, and in many areas are probably better than Wilkinson, but he's the team banker. When the pressure's on he's the boy you want in the firing line, and Woodward knows it.

Monday, April 11, 2005

SIGN OF THE TIMES

Today at midday BST Clive Woodward will announce his squad for this summers Lions tour to New Zealand.

In a sign of the times he will be informing the players he has bselected beforehand not by letter, or a phonecall, or fax, or even email, but by SMS!!

Meantime I can hardly wait for the announcement.

And that reminds me. I must get some flights sorted to Auckland. I have some major customers there who are demanding my presence in late June and early July.

WALES

What does it say about the wonder of Wales when it's Prince chooses to spend his honeymoon in Scotland?

Friday, April 01, 2005

GOOD ON YOU PRINCE CHARLES

Excellent news. Prince Charles has confirmed, admittedly unwittingly, that he despises the press. Not surprising when you consider that every thing he does is lambasted by the media and he is often treated as an object of ridicule.

If I was him I'd wait till I was King, then dissolve parliament, reinstate myself as absolute monarch and ban most of the media.

I would then revoke the acts of parliament that gave independence to Australia and New Zealand, nick all their best cricketers and rugby players, and then give them back their independence. I was going to suggest doing the same for Canada but I can't think of anything they have that we would want.
MORE ON SCHIAVO AND RELIGIOUS LOONIES

Fumier points out this excellent essay on George W and his “selective” views on the sanctity of life
TERRI SCHIAVO

Terri Schiavo has finally died 13 days after her feeding tube, which has kept her alive since 1990, was removed.

The case has caused outrage amongst the religious nutters in the U.S. with priests, politicians and even the president all wading in with their "culture of life" logic to quote George W implying that everyone should be kept going no matter what the circumstances.

There are 2 things I don't understand about this....
1. Say we keep feeding her, then her lungs pack up. We would implicity have to put her on a ventilator as she can't be allowed to die. Then her heart plays up. We have to install a pacemaker. Then her kidneys pack up. We have to start doing daily dialysis. Then her liver packs up. We give her a transplant. We could keep her going pretty much for ever. Where do we draw the line? And all the time we keep her going we are using up resources that could be used to help other patients. And remember all this is for a woman that the majority of medical opinion believes to be so severely brain damaged she is in a permanent vegetative state. Which brings me to my next point..

2. These religous nutters all believe in God and Heaven. So why are they so determined to keep a woman alive here on earth in a living hell instead of wanting her to die so she can go to heaven and enjoy herself? Shouldn't they be the ones trying to pull the plug, not keep her going?