MOBILE PHONES
Everyone who has ever visited Hong Kong will know that everyone in the place is obsessed with their mobile phone. It has the highest market penetration rate in the world with 102 phones for every 100 members of the population (including babies). Your mobile will work in tunnels, on the MTR (Tube, Subway, Metro or MRT depending on where you come from), on top of mountains, at sea and anywhere else you can think of. Some people change their phones monthly or more to be sure they always have the latest model. In short no Hong Konger would ever knowingly be without their phone, and without a signal - mainly, I should add, so they can stop suddenly when I'm walking behind them to shout "WEI?" loudly into it the instant it rings and then look surprised when a large gweilo knocks them flying, but I digress.
I think however, that the obsession has gone too far...
HONG KONG, March 29 (Reuters) - A 14-year-old Hong Kong girl flew into a rage and chased her mother around their flat with a knife and wooden pole after she confiscated the teenager's mobile phone, a police spokeswoman said on Monday.
The terrified mother locked herself in the bedroom and police arrived at the scene on Saturday to see the girl in a frenzy, hacking at the door with the knife.
"They had to use pepper spray to subdue the girl before they could rescue the mother," the spokeswoman said.
The mother sustained slight injury to her arm, but no charges were made. Social workers are now handling the case.
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Beer taster wins compensation over alcoholism
A Brazilian has won increased compensation from a brewery after 20 years as a taster made him an alcoholic.
Master Brewer Bernd Naveke, 49, drank around eight litres of beer every working day while at the Brahma Brewery near Rio de Janeiro.
He was forced to leave his job after becoming a registered alcoholic and hasn't worked since.
In the original case he was awarded $30,000 (about £17,000) and a monthly pension for life equal to his old salary of $2,600 (£1,500).
"I had to drink up to eight litres of beer a day and I left work drunk every day," Naveke said.
During the original case the court ruled the company couldn't appeal the outcome, but Naveke appealed on the grounds the compensation wasn't enough.
Now a court in Rio has ordered the brewery to pay him $2m (£1.2m), according to O Globo.
Brilliant. Paid to drink beer for 20 years, then paid again because he's now an alcoholic!
A Brazilian has won increased compensation from a brewery after 20 years as a taster made him an alcoholic.
Master Brewer Bernd Naveke, 49, drank around eight litres of beer every working day while at the Brahma Brewery near Rio de Janeiro.
He was forced to leave his job after becoming a registered alcoholic and hasn't worked since.
In the original case he was awarded $30,000 (about £17,000) and a monthly pension for life equal to his old salary of $2,600 (£1,500).
"I had to drink up to eight litres of beer a day and I left work drunk every day," Naveke said.
During the original case the court ruled the company couldn't appeal the outcome, but Naveke appealed on the grounds the compensation wasn't enough.
Now a court in Rio has ordered the brewery to pay him $2m (£1.2m), according to O Globo.
Brilliant. Paid to drink beer for 20 years, then paid again because he's now an alcoholic!
MOVE OVER ATKINS - MAKE WAY FOR THE REVOLUTIONARY NEW SEVENS DIET
This morning I finally plucked up the courage to stand on the scales after a weekend of debauchery and discovered that I have finally fallen below the 80kg barrier. I have spent the last 3 years going to the gym, running (occasionally), playing squash and hiking in a desperate effort to go from 83kg to 80kg and nothing worked. Not a gram moved. Now it appears all that I needed is a weekend of beer, fried food and no sleep.
My theory is that it works on two levels. Firstly the fat in all the fried food forms a protective layer over your stomach lining preventing you from absorbing any nutrients from whatever you consume. Then, after you've consumed enough beer, all the contents of your stomach are expelled (I think we all know what I'm referring to) and you have effectively eaten and drunk for hours with no actual calories being taken in! Then you start the process all over again, usually the next day, although the truly dedicated follower of the Sevens Diet may try to restart the process immediately, as several adherents were seen to do over the weekend.
Now I just have to write a book about it and I'm made!
This morning I finally plucked up the courage to stand on the scales after a weekend of debauchery and discovered that I have finally fallen below the 80kg barrier. I have spent the last 3 years going to the gym, running (occasionally), playing squash and hiking in a desperate effort to go from 83kg to 80kg and nothing worked. Not a gram moved. Now it appears all that I needed is a weekend of beer, fried food and no sleep.
My theory is that it works on two levels. Firstly the fat in all the fried food forms a protective layer over your stomach lining preventing you from absorbing any nutrients from whatever you consume. Then, after you've consumed enough beer, all the contents of your stomach are expelled (I think we all know what I'm referring to) and you have effectively eaten and drunk for hours with no actual calories being taken in! Then you start the process all over again, usually the next day, although the truly dedicated follower of the Sevens Diet may try to restart the process immediately, as several adherents were seen to do over the weekend.
Now I just have to write a book about it and I'm made!
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
ERIC RUSH
It's official - Eric Rush has confirmed that he will not be here next year for the 7's (at least not as a player). Not only is it the end of an era, it's also the end of an elaborate self-delusion that as long as he was able to represent NZ at the age of 39 I would still have a shot at international sport if I wanted. I now have to finally admit that my sporting career peaked with representing my university at darts at the age of 19 and has been on a pretty slippery slope ever since (to the point where I was even beaten at darts in Whiskey Priest by Genghis a few weeks ago - the shame was almost unbearable). On the plus side it does mean I can finally throw away the huge, and now slightly mouldy, collection of old sports kit that I have built up over the years.
Ahhhhh what might have been...
It's official - Eric Rush has confirmed that he will not be here next year for the 7's (at least not as a player). Not only is it the end of an era, it's also the end of an elaborate self-delusion that as long as he was able to represent NZ at the age of 39 I would still have a shot at international sport if I wanted. I now have to finally admit that my sporting career peaked with representing my university at darts at the age of 19 and has been on a pretty slippery slope ever since (to the point where I was even beaten at darts in Whiskey Priest by Genghis a few weeks ago - the shame was almost unbearable). On the plus side it does mean I can finally throw away the huge, and now slightly mouldy, collection of old sports kit that I have built up over the years.
Ahhhhh what might have been...
The 7s
So it's all over for another year. That makes it 4 sevens tournaments I've been to (3 here and the inaugural Sevens World Cup in Edinburgh in 1993), every one of which has been won by England. I would ask the RFU to make me an official lucky mascot and send me to every tournament England play in but I actually think that would kill me. To be honest England didn't look as good as they did last year. They definitely missed Henry Paul, and were behind early-on in every single knockout game. The Fijians were clearly better in the forwards and won most scrums and a lot of turnover ball, the South Africans gave them a good scare in the backs, and in the final the Argentinians harried them like terriers but ultimately lacked any game plan other than run like mad things. We were saved by the pure speed of Richard Haughton, the dogged determination of Simon Amor and the ability of Pat Sanderson to make ground and suck in defenders with some direct running.
As for the non-rugby side... marvellous. Not an ounce of trouble anywhere that I saw or heard about, but huge quantities of beer consumed in various boxes, the tent, Wan Chai and L.K.F.. All sad and predictable I know but why go against a formula that has worked for years? Had 2 mates turn up from New York for 4 days and 2 from Singapore all of whom have gone home as pale shadows of their former selves, as I was yesterday.
Just about back up to speed now but it'll be another couple of days before I am at 100%
Thank God it only happens once a year.
So it's all over for another year. That makes it 4 sevens tournaments I've been to (3 here and the inaugural Sevens World Cup in Edinburgh in 1993), every one of which has been won by England. I would ask the RFU to make me an official lucky mascot and send me to every tournament England play in but I actually think that would kill me. To be honest England didn't look as good as they did last year. They definitely missed Henry Paul, and were behind early-on in every single knockout game. The Fijians were clearly better in the forwards and won most scrums and a lot of turnover ball, the South Africans gave them a good scare in the backs, and in the final the Argentinians harried them like terriers but ultimately lacked any game plan other than run like mad things. We were saved by the pure speed of Richard Haughton, the dogged determination of Simon Amor and the ability of Pat Sanderson to make ground and suck in defenders with some direct running.
As for the non-rugby side... marvellous. Not an ounce of trouble anywhere that I saw or heard about, but huge quantities of beer consumed in various boxes, the tent, Wan Chai and L.K.F.. All sad and predictable I know but why go against a formula that has worked for years? Had 2 mates turn up from New York for 4 days and 2 from Singapore all of whom have gone home as pale shadows of their former selves, as I was yesterday.
Just about back up to speed now but it'll be another couple of days before I am at 100%
Thank God it only happens once a year.
Monday, March 29, 2004
Friday, March 26, 2004
TEMPORARY INTERRRUPTION TO THIS BLOG OWING TO 7s
Next update is likely to be Monday at earliest.
Just a quick thought - England are not looking good to defend their title without Phgil Greening, Tony Roques, Ugo Monye and Henry Paul. All are important players and all are missing.
Having said that...
I have only been to three 7s tournaments in my life. England have played in, and won, every single one - 1993 World 7s at Murrayfield, 2002 HK 7s and 2003 HK7s. In fact until they won without my support in South Africa this year I had been present at the only tournaments they had ever won. I can only conclude therefore that my presence is vital to the fortunes of the team and I regard it as my patriotic duty to be there again all weekend this year.
Good weekend all.
Next update is likely to be Monday at earliest.
Just a quick thought - England are not looking good to defend their title without Phgil Greening, Tony Roques, Ugo Monye and Henry Paul. All are important players and all are missing.
Having said that...
I have only been to three 7s tournaments in my life. England have played in, and won, every single one - 1993 World 7s at Murrayfield, 2002 HK 7s and 2003 HK7s. In fact until they won without my support in South Africa this year I had been present at the only tournaments they had ever won. I can only conclude therefore that my presence is vital to the fortunes of the team and I regard it as my patriotic duty to be there again all weekend this year.
Good weekend all.
Thursday, March 25, 2004
MICROSOFT
So the European Commission has decided to fine Microsoft EUR497 million and ordered them to unbundle their software packages, in particular they want Windows Media Player taken out of the Windows Office package.
The argument for this is that it will encourage and allow consumers to shop around for thier various bits and pieces of software, thus increasing competiton, and allow other systems such as Sun and RealNetworks to compete in their various niches.
What a load of bollocks.
First of all, why should Microsoft be punished for being the only software provider able to cover the entire software market with 1 product? If Sun want to compete, they should put a media player into their package, not have courts force Microsoft to take theirs out.
When Anti-Brake Lock Systems (ABS) were first launched by whichever company developed them as a feature on their cars, the other car companies didn't go to the courts to have it taken off their vehicles because thir own products were now inferior, they went to their engineers to get them to develop a similar system for their own cars.
Secondly - why the hell woud I want to shop around for various systems to do various different things? Especially when those systems probably won't talk to each other and every time you install one it fucks up all the others and takes days to get everything up and running again. I want to go to a shop, buy 1 package, have everything work, and never have to think about it again.
Most of us can't even master all the features on our mobile phones let alone all the intricacies of the software our pc's. I'm sure there are a few geeks out there who are happy about this but for the bulk of us this is a nightmare.
The real reason behind this simply has to be that the European Commisision are trying to prove how powerful they are by bullying Microsoft. Unfortunately for them Microsoft has a cash pile of $50 billion so the fine will be paid from petty cash, and they are appealing which will take years, by which time the systems will all be redundant anyway and the market will have moved on.
If I were Microsoft I'd just pull my products and support from the European market and wait for the howls of protest from the public to force the European Commission to backtrack.
So the European Commission has decided to fine Microsoft EUR497 million and ordered them to unbundle their software packages, in particular they want Windows Media Player taken out of the Windows Office package.
The argument for this is that it will encourage and allow consumers to shop around for thier various bits and pieces of software, thus increasing competiton, and allow other systems such as Sun and RealNetworks to compete in their various niches.
What a load of bollocks.
First of all, why should Microsoft be punished for being the only software provider able to cover the entire software market with 1 product? If Sun want to compete, they should put a media player into their package, not have courts force Microsoft to take theirs out.
When Anti-Brake Lock Systems (ABS) were first launched by whichever company developed them as a feature on their cars, the other car companies didn't go to the courts to have it taken off their vehicles because thir own products were now inferior, they went to their engineers to get them to develop a similar system for their own cars.
Secondly - why the hell woud I want to shop around for various systems to do various different things? Especially when those systems probably won't talk to each other and every time you install one it fucks up all the others and takes days to get everything up and running again. I want to go to a shop, buy 1 package, have everything work, and never have to think about it again.
Most of us can't even master all the features on our mobile phones let alone all the intricacies of the software our pc's. I'm sure there are a few geeks out there who are happy about this but for the bulk of us this is a nightmare.
The real reason behind this simply has to be that the European Commisision are trying to prove how powerful they are by bullying Microsoft. Unfortunately for them Microsoft has a cash pile of $50 billion so the fine will be paid from petty cash, and they are appealing which will take years, by which time the systems will all be redundant anyway and the market will have moved on.
If I were Microsoft I'd just pull my products and support from the European market and wait for the howls of protest from the public to force the European Commission to backtrack.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
HONG KONG TOURISM
Fumier makes an excellent point re the HKTA marketing people and their pointless slogans and campaigns. They only ever seem to market themselves as a "shoppers paradise" while missing out on so much you can do outside of the city.
But now they've gone and made even the shopping unattractive!
The Customs and Excise Dept claim to have the sale of pirated goods "practically under control" and are planning to clamp down further.
No doubt this will appear to be great news to all the overpaid civil servants and local bigwigs who run things such as the HKTA. They are all obsessed with brand names and wouldn't be seen dead with a fake anything, as the queues of cantonese speakers in the boutiques come sale time demonstrate.
But what they don't understand is most foreigners who come here to go shopping do so specifically for the fakes. That's the fun part. Why would they come here just to buy the same Louis Vuitton / Prada / Rolex / Burberry / Tag / any-other-brand-name product that you can buy in every major western city? The whole point of shopping here is to go to the markets, buy fakes, and feel you're being a bit rebellious and taking a walk on the wild side in the dangerous and mysterious east instead of just popping to the local shopping mall at home.
Last year my sister and mother turned up with 3 empty suitcases between them and went home with them all full. Of fakes. Take away the fakes and their main reason for coming would be gone. (I'm under no illusion they were here to see me.).
The HKTA and the Customs and Excise Dept just don't understand gweilos!
Fumier makes an excellent point re the HKTA marketing people and their pointless slogans and campaigns. They only ever seem to market themselves as a "shoppers paradise" while missing out on so much you can do outside of the city.
But now they've gone and made even the shopping unattractive!
The Customs and Excise Dept claim to have the sale of pirated goods "practically under control" and are planning to clamp down further.
No doubt this will appear to be great news to all the overpaid civil servants and local bigwigs who run things such as the HKTA. They are all obsessed with brand names and wouldn't be seen dead with a fake anything, as the queues of cantonese speakers in the boutiques come sale time demonstrate.
But what they don't understand is most foreigners who come here to go shopping do so specifically for the fakes. That's the fun part. Why would they come here just to buy the same Louis Vuitton / Prada / Rolex / Burberry / Tag / any-other-brand-name product that you can buy in every major western city? The whole point of shopping here is to go to the markets, buy fakes, and feel you're being a bit rebellious and taking a walk on the wild side in the dangerous and mysterious east instead of just popping to the local shopping mall at home.
Last year my sister and mother turned up with 3 empty suitcases between them and went home with them all full. Of fakes. Take away the fakes and their main reason for coming would be gone. (I'm under no illusion they were here to see me.).
The HKTA and the Customs and Excise Dept just don't understand gweilos!
BET THERE WASN'T NOT MUCH OF A QUEUE FOR THIS JOB
The man left holding the parcel when the music stopped at the Hamas pass-the-leadership party is Abdel Aziz al-Rantissi
Why would anyone want this job? You immediately get a death sentence, especially if your first act is to promise to teach Israel "a lesson" and "promise they will know no security".
And how stupid are these people? How can they seriously see the death of the leader of Hamas as an evil act but sending teenagers wearing explosive waistcoats onto busses to kill people going to work is ok?
And if they are so anti-Israeli, why do they all go and work there and then bleat every time Israel seals the border complaining that they can't get to work? They want to destroy the state of Israel but not its economy? How the hell is that going to work?
Their double standards are doubly stupid and doubly breath-taking.
I started off in life trying to be understanding and see their point of view, but I'm afraid that I am slowly drifting towards the "seal the borders and let them all rot" mentality. Every time they have a chance to be sensible and put an end to to the killing they just do something even more stupid than before. They are never going to beat a state that has 100% U.S. support, and since they have vowed to fight to the death then it seems more and more likely that the result of their efforts will simply be the extinction of their people.
I for one won't miss them.
The man left holding the parcel when the music stopped at the Hamas pass-the-leadership party is Abdel Aziz al-Rantissi
Why would anyone want this job? You immediately get a death sentence, especially if your first act is to promise to teach Israel "a lesson" and "promise they will know no security".
And how stupid are these people? How can they seriously see the death of the leader of Hamas as an evil act but sending teenagers wearing explosive waistcoats onto busses to kill people going to work is ok?
And if they are so anti-Israeli, why do they all go and work there and then bleat every time Israel seals the border complaining that they can't get to work? They want to destroy the state of Israel but not its economy? How the hell is that going to work?
Their double standards are doubly stupid and doubly breath-taking.
I started off in life trying to be understanding and see their point of view, but I'm afraid that I am slowly drifting towards the "seal the borders and let them all rot" mentality. Every time they have a chance to be sensible and put an end to to the killing they just do something even more stupid than before. They are never going to beat a state that has 100% U.S. support, and since they have vowed to fight to the death then it seems more and more likely that the result of their efforts will simply be the extinction of their people.
I for one won't miss them.
NOW THIS IS ALARMING....
It has been known for ages that the Russians basically can't afford to maintain their armed forces, but the worlds real main powers all play along with the line that the Russians are still a major world power in an effort to prevent the Russian simply admitting defeat and selling their arms (including nuclear weapons) off to the highest bidder.
Now it seems it has reached crisis point, with their flagship being ordered back to port. The story was swiftly changed from "potential nuclear disaster" to "unsatisfactory accomodation" but does anyone really believe that a Russian naval ship would be ordered back to port because it's accomodation had suddenly become unsaatisafactory when it had been fine before (unless of course perhaps the accomodation quarters now glow at night due to radiation exposure and the crew can't sleep?).
This does however present a potential solution a few of the worlds problems. Perhaps we could start parking ageing Russian warships and subs off the coasts of places such as North Korea, Algeria and Saudi Arabia and waiting for them to explode, conveniently taking out a hostile regime in an act which can be described as an accident and solving the Russians problems of not having the capacity to decommission their fleet at the same time.
Of course Greenpeace would complain but otherwise I think I may have hit on winner.
It has been known for ages that the Russians basically can't afford to maintain their armed forces, but the worlds real main powers all play along with the line that the Russians are still a major world power in an effort to prevent the Russian simply admitting defeat and selling their arms (including nuclear weapons) off to the highest bidder.
Now it seems it has reached crisis point, with their flagship being ordered back to port. The story was swiftly changed from "potential nuclear disaster" to "unsatisfactory accomodation" but does anyone really believe that a Russian naval ship would be ordered back to port because it's accomodation had suddenly become unsaatisafactory when it had been fine before (unless of course perhaps the accomodation quarters now glow at night due to radiation exposure and the crew can't sleep?).
This does however present a potential solution a few of the worlds problems. Perhaps we could start parking ageing Russian warships and subs off the coasts of places such as North Korea, Algeria and Saudi Arabia and waiting for them to explode, conveniently taking out a hostile regime in an act which can be described as an accident and solving the Russians problems of not having the capacity to decommission their fleet at the same time.
Of course Greenpeace would complain but otherwise I think I may have hit on winner.
SIR CLIVE HAS LOST THE PLOT
Ollie Barkley had a great game against Wales at fly-half, and while I realise that France are a step-up in quality, I think he deserved to start the game, with Grayson coming on if it wasn't working out. But Sir Clive has not only gone for Grayson as first-choice, he's dropped Barkley so far he doesn't even make the bench! Mike Catt appears to be the bench cover for Grayson despite having consistently shown that his most effective position is at centre.
Normally I think Woodward walks on water, and I admire his hard-headedness and commitment to form over sentiment, but I think he has made 2 mistakes in firstly not picking Barkley to start the game, and then not at least giving him the comfort of being on the bench.
The full team is here for those who care...
Ollie Barkley had a great game against Wales at fly-half, and while I realise that France are a step-up in quality, I think he deserved to start the game, with Grayson coming on if it wasn't working out. But Sir Clive has not only gone for Grayson as first-choice, he's dropped Barkley so far he doesn't even make the bench! Mike Catt appears to be the bench cover for Grayson despite having consistently shown that his most effective position is at centre.
Normally I think Woodward walks on water, and I admire his hard-headedness and commitment to form over sentiment, but I think he has made 2 mistakes in firstly not picking Barkley to start the game, and then not at least giving him the comfort of being on the bench.
The full team is here for those who care...
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
SMALL OVERREACTION MAYBE?
NEW DELHI, March 22 (UPI) -- A New Delhi woman, upset that her husband and three children stayed glued to television to watch the India-Pakistan cricket series, has committed suicide.
Police said Anusuya Rawat, 36, set fire to herself because her children were watching TV instead of studying, the Times of India reported Monday.
Her husband D.S. Rawat told the police that following an argument; his wife retired to the bedroom while he and the three children watched the exciting match between India and Pakistan.
"When she did not return for a long time, I asked my elder daughter to go and check on her," Rawat said.
The daughter found the bathroom door closed and there was a strong smell of kerosene oil.
"I broke the door and found Anusuya inside. I took her to hospital. But, she was already dead," Rawat said.
Three more deaths, resulting from heart attacks, have been blamed on the cricket series that have produced some thrilling moments among the traditional enemies.
NEW DELHI, March 22 (UPI) -- A New Delhi woman, upset that her husband and three children stayed glued to television to watch the India-Pakistan cricket series, has committed suicide.
Police said Anusuya Rawat, 36, set fire to herself because her children were watching TV instead of studying, the Times of India reported Monday.
Her husband D.S. Rawat told the police that following an argument; his wife retired to the bedroom while he and the three children watched the exciting match between India and Pakistan.
"When she did not return for a long time, I asked my elder daughter to go and check on her," Rawat said.
The daughter found the bathroom door closed and there was a strong smell of kerosene oil.
"I broke the door and found Anusuya inside. I took her to hospital. But, she was already dead," Rawat said.
Three more deaths, resulting from heart attacks, have been blamed on the cricket series that have produced some thrilling moments among the traditional enemies.
Monday, March 22, 2004
Virgin Won't Put `Kisses' Urinal in New York Airport, Post Says
March 20 (Bloomberg) -- Virgin Atlantic Airways Ltd., responding to critics, said it canceled plans to install urinals shaped like a woman's mouth in a restroom at New York's John F. Kennedy International Airport, the New York Post reported.
John Riordan, vice president of customer services at the second-largest U.K. airline, said in a written statement, ``We can assure everyone who complained that no offense was ever intended,'' the newspaper reported.
Rita Haley, president of the National Organization for Women's New York chapter, said at a news conference yesterday that use of the urinals would be ``a symbolic act of degrading and humiliating women.''
Riordan said Virgin intended the ``Kisses'' urinals, which resemble a woman's open mouth, to be ``fun and quirky.'' The urinals were to have been installed at Virgin's executive clubhouse at Kennedy, the newspaper said.
Didn't take long for some killjoy to scupper that idea, though I can't say i'm surprised.
March 20 (Bloomberg) -- Virgin Atlantic Airways Ltd., responding to critics, said it canceled plans to install urinals shaped like a woman's mouth in a restroom at New York's John F. Kennedy International Airport, the New York Post reported.
John Riordan, vice president of customer services at the second-largest U.K. airline, said in a written statement, ``We can assure everyone who complained that no offense was ever intended,'' the newspaper reported.
Rita Haley, president of the National Organization for Women's New York chapter, said at a news conference yesterday that use of the urinals would be ``a symbolic act of degrading and humiliating women.''
Riordan said Virgin intended the ``Kisses'' urinals, which resemble a woman's open mouth, to be ``fun and quirky.'' The urinals were to have been installed at Virgin's executive clubhouse at Kennedy, the newspaper said.
Didn't take long for some killjoy to scupper that idea, though I can't say i'm surprised.
Virgin Atlantic clubhouse urinals are the shape of a woman's open mouth
How Virgin got away with this, especially in the States, I will never know
How Virgin got away with this, especially in the States, I will never know
SPIRITUAL LEADER OF HAMAS KILLED
Sheikh Ahmed Yassin has been killed during an Israeli airstrike.
I think Genghis's comment sums up my feelings perfectly - "the spritual leader is where he belongs - in the spirit world".
While I still don't think the Israeli policy of fighting fire with fire will actually ever help sole the problems in the region, I can understand why they have adopted it. No doubt this guy's death at the hands of an Israeli helicopter attack will only lead to huge protests, and probably huge violence, amongst the Arab community, but frankly the guy was a very senior member of a terrorist organisation who sent suicide bombers into Israel but didn't have the balls to go himself.
Now he's dead.
Good.
Sheikh Ahmed Yassin has been killed during an Israeli airstrike.
I think Genghis's comment sums up my feelings perfectly - "the spritual leader is where he belongs - in the spirit world".
While I still don't think the Israeli policy of fighting fire with fire will actually ever help sole the problems in the region, I can understand why they have adopted it. No doubt this guy's death at the hands of an Israeli helicopter attack will only lead to huge protests, and probably huge violence, amongst the Arab community, but frankly the guy was a very senior member of a terrorist organisation who sent suicide bombers into Israel but didn't have the balls to go himself.
Now he's dead.
Good.
6 NATIONS REVIEW
No shocks - Ireland thumped Italy, England beat Wales and France absolutely crushed Scotland (thank you God).
The best game was probably the England v Wales game. Many have made the point that Wales at one point in the second half led by 5 points, but it is an 80 minute game, not 60, and England were always going to be too strong. In the end a 10 point victory was probably about a fair reflection of the game. Wales looked good on the counter but the real consistent pressure was all English and they deserved to win in the end.
This sets up a great game next weekend to decide the title - France v England. Sadly this will kick off at 4am HK time and the chances of seeing it live after a day at the 7s are remote, but it should be a cracker. England have to win by 8 points to guarantee the title, while a France victory would give them the Grand Slam.
To be honest I can't see England beating France on their home turf on current form unless there is a lot of rain up to and on the day. no matter how often Woodward and co claim England now play a fast running game when it comes to it the players regular club games tend to be played in the mud and that is what suits England best. They certainly deal with it much better than the French. If it's dry though I think France will simply be too good, and while England may run them close the French should get their 4th Grand Slam in 8 years.
And at the other end of the table - Scotland will get the wooden spoon if they lose to Ireland in Ireland. On current form that should be a certainty, but you can never quite be sure with Ireland. Still they should be a class above the Scots and the demise of Scottish rugby will be confirmed. Teeheehee.
No shocks - Ireland thumped Italy, England beat Wales and France absolutely crushed Scotland (thank you God).
The best game was probably the England v Wales game. Many have made the point that Wales at one point in the second half led by 5 points, but it is an 80 minute game, not 60, and England were always going to be too strong. In the end a 10 point victory was probably about a fair reflection of the game. Wales looked good on the counter but the real consistent pressure was all English and they deserved to win in the end.
This sets up a great game next weekend to decide the title - France v England. Sadly this will kick off at 4am HK time and the chances of seeing it live after a day at the 7s are remote, but it should be a cracker. England have to win by 8 points to guarantee the title, while a France victory would give them the Grand Slam.
To be honest I can't see England beating France on their home turf on current form unless there is a lot of rain up to and on the day. no matter how often Woodward and co claim England now play a fast running game when it comes to it the players regular club games tend to be played in the mud and that is what suits England best. They certainly deal with it much better than the French. If it's dry though I think France will simply be too good, and while England may run them close the French should get their 4th Grand Slam in 8 years.
And at the other end of the table - Scotland will get the wooden spoon if they lose to Ireland in Ireland. On current form that should be a certainty, but you can never quite be sure with Ireland. Still they should be a class above the Scots and the demise of Scottish rugby will be confirmed. Teeheehee.
SPAM!
While trawling through the usual zillion or so pointless and irrelevant work emails this morning I came across a spam message entitled...
"Fed up with SPAM?"
I don't believe it. People are now spamming me with proposals for reducing the amount of spam I get. Surely this is as low as it can get?
While trawling through the usual zillion or so pointless and irrelevant work emails this morning I came across a spam message entitled...
"Fed up with SPAM?"
I don't believe it. People are now spamming me with proposals for reducing the amount of spam I get. Surely this is as low as it can get?
Friday, March 19, 2004
MORE TAIWAN - BREAKING NEWS
Actually that was a lie just to get you to read this bit...
It's time for this weekends 6 Nations forecasts...
England v Wales - The England team has a much more solid look to it with Robinson back at full-back and Mike Tindall back in the centre. Personally I think Tindall is hopelessly uncreative, but if you want a big strong bloke to run fast straight at people and hurt them then he's he best thing this side of Jonah Lomu. Also Danny Grewcock is back in the second row which hopefully means we may actually win the odd lineout. With these guys back I think England are going to way too strong - Wales may start well but will run out of puff - England by 15 to 20 pts. Chariot back on its wheels and back on track.
Ireland v Italy - Ireland, by a country mile, are the better team. No need to say more. Ireland by 15 to 20pts, more if O'Driscoll has a good game. Go on Danny Boy
Scotland v France - the Scots will stride out proudly at Murrayfield, they will belt out Flower of Scotland with chests puffed out, and in true Scottish sporting fashion La Marseillaise will be roundly booed. And that will be the high point for Scotland. From then on it will a case of lambs to the slaughter. The French are superior in every position on the park and will win, though no doubt being France they will get ahead and then let the Scots back into the game just to give themselves a bit of a fright. They always manage to play down to the level of the opposition. France by 15 to 20, (or 50-60 if my prayers are answered). Allez les Bleus.
Actually that was a lie just to get you to read this bit...
It's time for this weekends 6 Nations forecasts...
England v Wales - The England team has a much more solid look to it with Robinson back at full-back and Mike Tindall back in the centre. Personally I think Tindall is hopelessly uncreative, but if you want a big strong bloke to run fast straight at people and hurt them then he's he best thing this side of Jonah Lomu. Also Danny Grewcock is back in the second row which hopefully means we may actually win the odd lineout. With these guys back I think England are going to way too strong - Wales may start well but will run out of puff - England by 15 to 20 pts. Chariot back on its wheels and back on track.
Ireland v Italy - Ireland, by a country mile, are the better team. No need to say more. Ireland by 15 to 20pts, more if O'Driscoll has a good game. Go on Danny Boy
Scotland v France - the Scots will stride out proudly at Murrayfield, they will belt out Flower of Scotland with chests puffed out, and in true Scottish sporting fashion La Marseillaise will be roundly booed. And that will be the high point for Scotland. From then on it will a case of lambs to the slaughter. The French are superior in every position on the park and will win, though no doubt being France they will get ahead and then let the Scots back into the game just to give themselves a bit of a fright. They always manage to play down to the level of the opposition. France by 15 to 20, (or 50-60 if my prayers are answered). Allez les Bleus.
FRANCE, SPAIN, GERMANY - PART 2
especially for all those (Germaine, Attila, kennycan etc..) who pointed (either in comments or to me directly) to Poland's participation in the war (all 2,000 troops) as evidence that "New Europe" was behind the U.S. come what may...
"Polish President Aleksander Kwasniewski says his country was misled about the alleged threat from Iraqi weapons of mass destruction."
He goes on, as Blair and Bush have both done, to then justify the war on the grounds that "Iraq today, without Saddam Hussein, is a much better place than Iraq with Saddam Hussein," .
This I don't doubt, and I do agree with removing him. But I do not agree with lying to your allies, (and then having them lie to their people) to get other countries to support you, and then changing your reason for going in after the event.
If the U.S. want to get rid of sadistic brutal dictators then have the balls to say so, and you will have my full support. But don't stop just at the oil-rich sadisitic brutal dictators (sorry if I sound a bit cynical). Be consistent and work your way through the remainder srtarting with most of the rest of the Arab world, North Korea, Zimbabwe, the Congo etc etc...
Also for those who are surprised at the proposed Spanish withdrawal - don't be too surprised if the Poles follow suit after the next election - "Some polls suggest public support for Poland's role in Iraq has declined to 35%."
especially for all those (Germaine, Attila, kennycan etc..) who pointed (either in comments or to me directly) to Poland's participation in the war (all 2,000 troops) as evidence that "New Europe" was behind the U.S. come what may...
"Polish President Aleksander Kwasniewski says his country was misled about the alleged threat from Iraqi weapons of mass destruction."
He goes on, as Blair and Bush have both done, to then justify the war on the grounds that "Iraq today, without Saddam Hussein, is a much better place than Iraq with Saddam Hussein," .
This I don't doubt, and I do agree with removing him. But I do not agree with lying to your allies, (and then having them lie to their people) to get other countries to support you, and then changing your reason for going in after the event.
If the U.S. want to get rid of sadistic brutal dictators then have the balls to say so, and you will have my full support. But don't stop just at the oil-rich sadisitic brutal dictators (sorry if I sound a bit cynical). Be consistent and work your way through the remainder srtarting with most of the rest of the Arab world, North Korea, Zimbabwe, the Congo etc etc...
Also for those who are surprised at the proposed Spanish withdrawal - don't be too surprised if the Poles follow suit after the next election - "Some polls suggest public support for Poland's role in Iraq has declined to 35%."
Welsh to be added to Microsoft languages
Welsh is to be introduced into Microsoft Windows as part of a project to increase usage by minority language speakers.
It's one of 40 new languages that will be added in response to complaints from around the world that young people in particular were losing their native tongues.
Great. As if they aren't annoying enough cluttering up the UK with stupid place names with huge numbers of Ls and Gs and almost no vowels, now they'll be cluttering up the web!
Welsh is to be introduced into Microsoft Windows as part of a project to increase usage by minority language speakers.
It's one of 40 new languages that will be added in response to complaints from around the world that young people in particular were losing their native tongues.
Great. As if they aren't annoying enough cluttering up the UK with stupid place names with huge numbers of Ls and Gs and almost no vowels, now they'll be cluttering up the web!
Lottery winner wasn't sure he wanted £6m
A German lottery winner who scooped a jackpot of more than £6 million didn't claim it for ten weeks as he wasn't sure he wanted the money.
The clerk from Dortmund, who wishes to remain anonymous, was the only player to tip the six correct numbers in the January 3 draw, entitling him to £6,360,000.
However, nearly three months passed before the lucky winner presented himself to WestLotto with his winning ticket saying he had taken time out so he could "think things over".
The company had thought the winner was unaware of his luck and had been searching for the ticket holder in a poster campaign.
WestLotto spokesman Elmar Banfaste described the new millionaire as "exceptionally cool". The winner had spent some time considering whether to forfeit the money altogether.
He said: "I needed some time to think things through in peace."
The idea that the money could be used to help other people finally persuaded the winner to show up at the lottery's offices in Muenster. He is now considering setting up a charitable foundation.
After first talks with his WestLotto adviser, the man has disappeared again to think things over some more.
SO WHY BUY DID YOU A TICKET, IDIOT?
A German lottery winner who scooped a jackpot of more than £6 million didn't claim it for ten weeks as he wasn't sure he wanted the money.
The clerk from Dortmund, who wishes to remain anonymous, was the only player to tip the six correct numbers in the January 3 draw, entitling him to £6,360,000.
However, nearly three months passed before the lucky winner presented himself to WestLotto with his winning ticket saying he had taken time out so he could "think things over".
The company had thought the winner was unaware of his luck and had been searching for the ticket holder in a poster campaign.
WestLotto spokesman Elmar Banfaste described the new millionaire as "exceptionally cool". The winner had spent some time considering whether to forfeit the money altogether.
He said: "I needed some time to think things through in peace."
The idea that the money could be used to help other people finally persuaded the winner to show up at the lottery's offices in Muenster. He is now considering setting up a charitable foundation.
After first talks with his WestLotto adviser, the man has disappeared again to think things over some more.
SO WHY BUY DID YOU A TICKET, IDIOT?
TAIWANS PRESIDENT AND THE FAIRER (WEAKER?) SEX
The President of Taiwan has been injured (some say shot, some say the injury was caused by a fireracker - either way he's in hospital). He was campaigning for this weekend's elections. With him was his vice-president, Annette Lu. Normally the v-p would take over from the President in these circumstances, however Mrs Lu decided to fulfill a hundred years of hollywood stereo-typing by promptly fainting!
What is the point of having a v-p if the only time you need her she is unconcious?
And who is in charge in Taiwan at the moment?
The President of Taiwan has been injured (some say shot, some say the injury was caused by a fireracker - either way he's in hospital). He was campaigning for this weekend's elections. With him was his vice-president, Annette Lu. Normally the v-p would take over from the President in these circumstances, however Mrs Lu decided to fulfill a hundred years of hollywood stereo-typing by promptly fainting!
What is the point of having a v-p if the only time you need her she is unconcious?
And who is in charge in Taiwan at the moment?
ESPN / STARSPORTS RANT - 6 NATIONS AND SUPER 12 RUGBY
Just checked the ESPNSTAR.COM website to sort my Rugby viewing for the weekend, and what do I find? The England v Wales game is being shown at 1am on a 1 hr delayed feed, and the Ireland v Italy game isn't being shown till midday Sunday. Why? The England game is being delayed because of effing soccer (Spurs v Utd) which I can just about understand as for some reason the locals do seem to like watching 22 overpaid undereducated gweilos compete to see who can spit the furthest and have the biggest tantrum when a referee's decison goes against them.
But the Ireland game is being delayed because they are showing the higHlights (if there are any) of the Asian Motocross Championship at 3.30am and then effing Tennis at 4am. WTF? I'll bet a zillion dollars more people would watch Ireland v Italy at 3.30am than some gits on motorbikes, and who in their right mind would want to watch tennis at 4am? Why anyone would watch it at 4pm is also a mystery, but 4am? To watch a glorified parlour game in which grown men pat a ball back and forth across a net for 10 seconds and then have a 2 minute sit down? Why?
And as for Super 12? That might as well not be happening this weekend.
WHO THE FUCK IS THE MORON WHO DOES THE SCHEDULING AT ESPN / STAR SPORTS?
At least the Scotland v France game is live on Sunday night so I can have the pleasure of watching the sweaties get stuffed off the park as it happens.
Just checked the ESPNSTAR.COM website to sort my Rugby viewing for the weekend, and what do I find? The England v Wales game is being shown at 1am on a 1 hr delayed feed, and the Ireland v Italy game isn't being shown till midday Sunday. Why? The England game is being delayed because of effing soccer (Spurs v Utd) which I can just about understand as for some reason the locals do seem to like watching 22 overpaid undereducated gweilos compete to see who can spit the furthest and have the biggest tantrum when a referee's decison goes against them.
But the Ireland game is being delayed because they are showing the higHlights (if there are any) of the Asian Motocross Championship at 3.30am and then effing Tennis at 4am. WTF? I'll bet a zillion dollars more people would watch Ireland v Italy at 3.30am than some gits on motorbikes, and who in their right mind would want to watch tennis at 4am? Why anyone would watch it at 4pm is also a mystery, but 4am? To watch a glorified parlour game in which grown men pat a ball back and forth across a net for 10 seconds and then have a 2 minute sit down? Why?
And as for Super 12? That might as well not be happening this weekend.
WHO THE FUCK IS THE MORON WHO DOES THE SCHEDULING AT ESPN / STAR SPORTS?
At least the Scotland v France game is live on Sunday night so I can have the pleasure of watching the sweaties get stuffed off the park as it happens.
Thursday, March 18, 2004
POLITICAL DEBATE
2 new lows achieved today...
Genghis - "if I was told I only had 6 months to live, I guarantee I'd outlive the Clintons"
Attila - "if I was told I was terminally ill I would have 2 words of advice for John Kerry - watch out"
And it's only 9am. I have another 9 to 10 hours of this to go...
2 new lows achieved today...
Genghis - "if I was told I only had 6 months to live, I guarantee I'd outlive the Clintons"
Attila - "if I was told I was terminally ill I would have 2 words of advice for John Kerry - watch out"
And it's only 9am. I have another 9 to 10 hours of this to go...
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
THE MOTORING SECTION. SAAB. WHY?
Fumier, in a superb and 100% true rant about IKEA, also makes the point that Saabs are not exactly top of the line either.
I have long held a similar view of Saabs but fortunately there were never that many in the UK so I didn't have to worry about it too much. Here however there seem to be loads, particularly, as again Fumier points out, shagged old yellow Saab convertibles.
So I wonder why would anyone buy a Saab?
They're not as well-built as Mercedes, not as nice to drive as BMWs, not as fast as Porsches, not as safe as Volvos, not as reliable, well-equipped or cheap as Japanese cars, and as ugly as sin.
They are truly the car you buy when you have finally given up on life and no longer give a monkeys about anything, or what anyone else thinks about you. They are totally and utterly pointless.
They are also almost always driven by deaf and blind idiots who have clearly never seen a road, let alone a road sign before.
The only possible excuse for driving one is that you are Swedish and patriotic, but even that logic is flawed as they are now owned by General Motors. And there simply can't be that many Swedes in Hong Kong.
Fumier, in a superb and 100% true rant about IKEA, also makes the point that Saabs are not exactly top of the line either.
I have long held a similar view of Saabs but fortunately there were never that many in the UK so I didn't have to worry about it too much. Here however there seem to be loads, particularly, as again Fumier points out, shagged old yellow Saab convertibles.
So I wonder why would anyone buy a Saab?
They're not as well-built as Mercedes, not as nice to drive as BMWs, not as fast as Porsches, not as safe as Volvos, not as reliable, well-equipped or cheap as Japanese cars, and as ugly as sin.
They are truly the car you buy when you have finally given up on life and no longer give a monkeys about anything, or what anyone else thinks about you. They are totally and utterly pointless.
They are also almost always driven by deaf and blind idiots who have clearly never seen a road, let alone a road sign before.
The only possible excuse for driving one is that you are Swedish and patriotic, but even that logic is flawed as they are now owned by General Motors. And there simply can't be that many Swedes in Hong Kong.
ELECTIONS, DEMOCRACY, PATRIOTISM, ETC...
Without getting into a turgid debate on which way the Spaniards should have voted, clearly the weekend's result in Spain, and the promise from the Prime Minister-elect to withdraw their troops from Iraq could easily make terrorists think they can now control elections with strategic bombing. Fortunately here in HK we don't have to worry about the tedium of elections, and judging by the rhetoric from Beijing are unlikely to ever have to. This should mean we are unlikely to be attacked.
Perhaps the pro-Beijing camp should use this as an argument against universal suffrage - it certainly makes more sense than the rubbish they've come out with so far.
Without getting into a turgid debate on which way the Spaniards should have voted, clearly the weekend's result in Spain, and the promise from the Prime Minister-elect to withdraw their troops from Iraq could easily make terrorists think they can now control elections with strategic bombing. Fortunately here in HK we don't have to worry about the tedium of elections, and judging by the rhetoric from Beijing are unlikely to ever have to. This should mean we are unlikely to be attacked.
Perhaps the pro-Beijing camp should use this as an argument against universal suffrage - it certainly makes more sense than the rubbish they've come out with so far.
NEVER GOING BACK TO MUD ISLAND!
Yet another reason to never ever go back to Mud Island, as if the appalling weather, ludicrous property prices, ineffectual social services (I don't think the street I lied on in London was ever cleaned), inflated opinion of their position on the world stage, generally pathetic performances of the cricket and soccer teams, laughable public transport system, hopelessly clogged roads, 40% income tax rate, 17.5% sales tax rate, and Tony Blair weren't enough, the following from the BBC website merely reinforces the case...
London terror attack 'inevitable'
A terror attack on London is inevitable, Metropolitan Police commissioner Sir John Stevens has said.
Sir John's comments were echoed by the capital's mayor Ken Livingstone who said it would be "miraculous" if London escaped attack.
The two men were speaking after last week's terror attacks in Madrid which left 200 dead.
Earlier cabinet minister Peter Hain said the UK was a "frontline target" for attack by international terrorists.
The full story is here
They'll only get me back there when Martin Johnson is King, Clive Woodward is Prime Minister, and Jonny Wilkinson is ambassador to Australia
Yet another reason to never ever go back to Mud Island, as if the appalling weather, ludicrous property prices, ineffectual social services (I don't think the street I lied on in London was ever cleaned), inflated opinion of their position on the world stage, generally pathetic performances of the cricket and soccer teams, laughable public transport system, hopelessly clogged roads, 40% income tax rate, 17.5% sales tax rate, and Tony Blair weren't enough, the following from the BBC website merely reinforces the case...
London terror attack 'inevitable'
A terror attack on London is inevitable, Metropolitan Police commissioner Sir John Stevens has said.
Sir John's comments were echoed by the capital's mayor Ken Livingstone who said it would be "miraculous" if London escaped attack.
The two men were speaking after last week's terror attacks in Madrid which left 200 dead.
Earlier cabinet minister Peter Hain said the UK was a "frontline target" for attack by international terrorists.
The full story is here
They'll only get me back there when Martin Johnson is King, Clive Woodward is Prime Minister, and Jonny Wilkinson is ambassador to Australia
FINALLY. A USE FOR WALES
An observant reader has kindly sent me the following from the Daily Telegraph City Diary,
Wales welcomed home to Goldman
It looked like a brilliant solution to Brown's black hole. As the Reuters headline put it yesterday afternoon: 'Goldman Sachs hires Wales from Treasury.' Of course. It's obvious when you think about it. Goldman can easily afford Wales, at least on a short-term lease, and they could use it to take clients on those boys' bonding sessions in the mountains. The rent, meanwhile, would be more than enough to allow Gordon to meet his borrowing targets.
It makes sense, and finally we have a use for for Wales apart from being the Northern Hemisphere equivalent of New Zealand as a butt of jokes regarding sheep and dubious sexuality. They might even pay their own way for once! Sadly the reality is different...
Alas, the Wales in question is one Chris Wales, who was on the Treasury's council of economic advisers until last year, and is joining Goldman as a managing director. Ah well, we can all dream.
The final sentence says it all though.
An observant reader has kindly sent me the following from the Daily Telegraph City Diary,
Wales welcomed home to Goldman
It looked like a brilliant solution to Brown's black hole. As the Reuters headline put it yesterday afternoon: 'Goldman Sachs hires Wales from Treasury.' Of course. It's obvious when you think about it. Goldman can easily afford Wales, at least on a short-term lease, and they could use it to take clients on those boys' bonding sessions in the mountains. The rent, meanwhile, would be more than enough to allow Gordon to meet his borrowing targets.
It makes sense, and finally we have a use for for Wales apart from being the Northern Hemisphere equivalent of New Zealand as a butt of jokes regarding sheep and dubious sexuality. They might even pay their own way for once! Sadly the reality is different...
Alas, the Wales in question is one Chris Wales, who was on the Treasury's council of economic advisers until last year, and is joining Goldman as a managing director. Ah well, we can all dream.
The final sentence says it all though.
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
FRANCE, SPAIN, GERMANY
The French and German opposition to the U.S. invasion of Iraq caused a lot of heated debate and an even larger amount of childish and pathetic behaviour on both sides (viz French Fries becoming Freedom Fries and France sticking their noses up the Chinese backsides).
Now the French are proposing to hold joint naval exercises with China (as Simon points out) and the new Spanish Prime Minister is threatening to pull out their troops out of Iraq, while the Germans are still calling for the U.N. to take over the running of Iraq.
A lot of people seem to be viewing these developments as evidence that the French, Germans and Spanish are "weak on terrorism", and that the French in particular seem to be deliberately aligning themselves with an anti-US bloc - namely China.
Without agreeing with their positions, in their defence I would like to make a few points.
The French have been driven away from the U.S. by the hysterical reation of the American public to their anti-war stance, and even more so by the childish rhetoric adopted by the Amercian administration - referring to them (and Germany) as Old Europe is a bit feeble, and ironically for the French in particular it is probably regarded as a compliment - they are proud of their heritage, history and culture and would much rather be "old europe" than "new world" any day. The U.S. position has left French politicians no option other than to find another power to align themselves with and in the current world that can only be China. Quite what else they would be expected to do I don't know. Why would they support a country and administration that is openly hostile and scathing to them? As a kid would you have supported the school bully if he was bullying you?
Secondly, I would like to point out that the 3 countries most in favour of the Iraq War were the USA, the UK and Australia. and they were the 3 biggest contributors to the invasion force. There were token efforts from the Spanish and Polish armies but these were more symbolic than anything else. The 2 countries most against the war were France and Germany.
The obvious connection here is that the 3 most pro-war have not had any wars fought on their home soil in living memory, while the 2 most anti-war most certainly have (we'll gloss over the fact that it was all the fault of 1 of them), and these wars will be particularly vivid in the minds of ageing politicians who either grew up during or in the immediate aftermath of WWII. I am certain their experience of war, and all the death and destruction that inevitably goes with it, led them to adopt the view that any form of military intervention had to be an absolute last resort.
They also both have significant muslim populations which many have argued makes them more conciliatory as they don't want to provoke unrest at home. This may well be true but perhaps it also means they have a better understanding of the extremists (France in particular has had a lot of trouble with Algerian muslim extremists and has had several small scale terrorist attacks over the years), and felt that removing Hussein with a show of force would only create a martyr.
So intead of postings such as "fucking frogs" on Gweilodiaries perhaps a bit of rational thought and debate would be useful.
The French and German opposition to the U.S. invasion of Iraq caused a lot of heated debate and an even larger amount of childish and pathetic behaviour on both sides (viz French Fries becoming Freedom Fries and France sticking their noses up the Chinese backsides).
Now the French are proposing to hold joint naval exercises with China (as Simon points out) and the new Spanish Prime Minister is threatening to pull out their troops out of Iraq, while the Germans are still calling for the U.N. to take over the running of Iraq.
A lot of people seem to be viewing these developments as evidence that the French, Germans and Spanish are "weak on terrorism", and that the French in particular seem to be deliberately aligning themselves with an anti-US bloc - namely China.
Without agreeing with their positions, in their defence I would like to make a few points.
The French have been driven away from the U.S. by the hysterical reation of the American public to their anti-war stance, and even more so by the childish rhetoric adopted by the Amercian administration - referring to them (and Germany) as Old Europe is a bit feeble, and ironically for the French in particular it is probably regarded as a compliment - they are proud of their heritage, history and culture and would much rather be "old europe" than "new world" any day. The U.S. position has left French politicians no option other than to find another power to align themselves with and in the current world that can only be China. Quite what else they would be expected to do I don't know. Why would they support a country and administration that is openly hostile and scathing to them? As a kid would you have supported the school bully if he was bullying you?
Secondly, I would like to point out that the 3 countries most in favour of the Iraq War were the USA, the UK and Australia. and they were the 3 biggest contributors to the invasion force. There were token efforts from the Spanish and Polish armies but these were more symbolic than anything else. The 2 countries most against the war were France and Germany.
The obvious connection here is that the 3 most pro-war have not had any wars fought on their home soil in living memory, while the 2 most anti-war most certainly have (we'll gloss over the fact that it was all the fault of 1 of them), and these wars will be particularly vivid in the minds of ageing politicians who either grew up during or in the immediate aftermath of WWII. I am certain their experience of war, and all the death and destruction that inevitably goes with it, led them to adopt the view that any form of military intervention had to be an absolute last resort.
They also both have significant muslim populations which many have argued makes them more conciliatory as they don't want to provoke unrest at home. This may well be true but perhaps it also means they have a better understanding of the extremists (France in particular has had a lot of trouble with Algerian muslim extremists and has had several small scale terrorist attacks over the years), and felt that removing Hussein with a show of force would only create a martyr.
So intead of postings such as "fucking frogs" on Gweilodiaries perhaps a bit of rational thought and debate would be useful.
SPAIN TO WITHDRAW TROOPS FROM IRAQ
New Spanish Prime Minister, Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero (crazy name, crazy guy) has threatened to withdraw the Spanish complement of 1,300 troops from Iraq unless the U.N. takes over from the U.S..
Leaving aside for a moment the question of how having the U.N. in charge would be any better than having the U.S. in charge, the threat has raised eyebrows amongst world leaders, most of whom were blissfully unaware that Spain had any troops in Iraq to start with.
Colin Powell and the Joint Chiefs of the Armed Forces have drafted in a local geography teacher to point out Spain to them on the map (once they had located it, Colin Powell was overheard muttering "so where the hell is France then?").
Meanwhile on the ground in Iraq U.S. forces are relieved that they have can now positively identify the soldiers who have spent the last 6 months by the pool, except for the middle of the afternoon when they all disappeared for 3 to 4 hours. The U.S. army had been worried they may be remnants of Husseins elite army units, but they had seemed very confident they were supposed to be there, and hadn't hurt anyone, and after a few weeks had passed it would have been rude to simply go up and ask who the hell they were.
New Spanish Prime Minister, Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero (crazy name, crazy guy) has threatened to withdraw the Spanish complement of 1,300 troops from Iraq unless the U.N. takes over from the U.S..
Leaving aside for a moment the question of how having the U.N. in charge would be any better than having the U.S. in charge, the threat has raised eyebrows amongst world leaders, most of whom were blissfully unaware that Spain had any troops in Iraq to start with.
Colin Powell and the Joint Chiefs of the Armed Forces have drafted in a local geography teacher to point out Spain to them on the map (once they had located it, Colin Powell was overheard muttering "so where the hell is France then?").
Meanwhile on the ground in Iraq U.S. forces are relieved that they have can now positively identify the soldiers who have spent the last 6 months by the pool, except for the middle of the afternoon when they all disappeared for 3 to 4 hours. The U.S. army had been worried they may be remnants of Husseins elite army units, but they had seemed very confident they were supposed to be there, and hadn't hurt anyone, and after a few weeks had passed it would have been rude to simply go up and ask who the hell they were.
Monday, March 15, 2004
MURALITHARAN DOUBTFUL FOR THE 2ND TEST AGAINST AUSTRALIA BECAUSE OF HIS CHUCKING
KANDY, Sri Lanka, March 15 (Reuters) - Sri Lanka's Muttiah Muralitharan, poised to follow Shane Warne and become the third bowler to take 500 test wickets, has been laid low on the eve of the second test against Australia with a stomach upset.
Muralitharan sat out nets on Sunday afternoon and then suffered from stomach cramps throughout the night.
After Monday morning's practice session was washed out, Muralitharan returned to his bedside for further rest.
Oh the irony....
KANDY, Sri Lanka, March 15 (Reuters) - Sri Lanka's Muttiah Muralitharan, poised to follow Shane Warne and become the third bowler to take 500 test wickets, has been laid low on the eve of the second test against Australia with a stomach upset.
Muralitharan sat out nets on Sunday afternoon and then suffered from stomach cramps throughout the night.
After Monday morning's practice session was washed out, Muralitharan returned to his bedside for further rest.
Oh the irony....
BAH HUMBUG
I'm trying my best to be cheerful and happy today, but at the back of my mind is the nagging knowledge that I am supposed to be in Bali!.
I had a great 5 day trip planned with Mrs Chariot involving a lot of lying around doing not very much. Neither of us has ever been to Bali before and we were both really looking forward to getting there on Friday evening for 5 days off.
Then the girl I work(ed) with got it in to her head to quit 2 weeks ago to go and work for a crappy english bank. So suddenly I'm a 1 man show and our 5 days in Bali are canned, as are our 2 weeks in South Africa in April visiting the in-laws and working our way round the Cape's finest wineries (the greatest thing about having a pregnant wife is she is always the designated driver!).
So if occasionally I seem a bit pissed off at life, maybe as though life is getting me down, and I'm a little abrupt in my posts or responses, it's cos I AM a bit pissed off! Bah humbug.
I'm trying my best to be cheerful and happy today, but at the back of my mind is the nagging knowledge that I am supposed to be in Bali!.
I had a great 5 day trip planned with Mrs Chariot involving a lot of lying around doing not very much. Neither of us has ever been to Bali before and we were both really looking forward to getting there on Friday evening for 5 days off.
Then the girl I work(ed) with got it in to her head to quit 2 weeks ago to go and work for a crappy english bank. So suddenly I'm a 1 man show and our 5 days in Bali are canned, as are our 2 weeks in South Africa in April visiting the in-laws and working our way round the Cape's finest wineries (the greatest thing about having a pregnant wife is she is always the designated driver!).
So if occasionally I seem a bit pissed off at life, maybe as though life is getting me down, and I'm a little abrupt in my posts or responses, it's cos I AM a bit pissed off! Bah humbug.
ONLY IN AUSTRALIA...
Only an Aussie, could come up with this excuse for driving without a licence, and only an Aussie magistrate could pretty much let him off as a result.
Only an Aussie, could come up with this excuse for driving without a licence, and only an Aussie magistrate could pretty much let him off as a result.
WHAT A MARVELLOUS WEEKEND
England thrashed the W.Indies in the 1st Test. Leicester City beat hated local rivals Birmingham City away to get out of the relegation zone, and best of all - Leicester Tigers won a fierce local derby against Northampton Saints in Northampton. Sadly this game wasn't a league game but was a "friendly", though having been to many Tigers v Saints games I can definitely say that if it was a friendly, then it's the first time ever.
Marvellous....
England thrashed the W.Indies in the 1st Test. Leicester City beat hated local rivals Birmingham City away to get out of the relegation zone, and best of all - Leicester Tigers won a fierce local derby against Northampton Saints in Northampton. Sadly this game wasn't a league game but was a "friendly", though having been to many Tigers v Saints games I can definitely say that if it was a friendly, then it's the first time ever.
Marvellous....
Thursday, March 11, 2004
BUSY BUSY BUSY
Apologies for lack of comment today, but this morning was one of the busiest mornings I've had in about 6 months. I did spot this however, which has to rank as one of the stupidest attempts at a crime ever...
COVINGTON, Ga., March 10 (UPI) -- The United States has never issued a $1 million bank note, but a suburban Atlanta-area woman allegedly tried cashing one anyway at Wal-Mart. Police in Covington say Alice Pike, 35, first tried to use two Wal-Mart cards to pay for $1,671.55 worth of items. But she only had a total of $2.32 worth of credit available on the cards. That's when she handed the cashier a $1 million bill and asked for change. The suspicious cashier called a manager, who then called police. When they arrived, Pike produced two similar bills from her wallet, saying she got them from her husband. She was being held Wednesday in the county jail on $2,550 bail on first-degree forgery charges, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution said. The highest denomination bill the U.S. government issues is $100. In 1969, the Department of the Treasury and the Federal Reserve System discontinued notes in denominations of $500, $1,000, $5,000 and $10,000 due to lack of use.
Apologies for lack of comment today, but this morning was one of the busiest mornings I've had in about 6 months. I did spot this however, which has to rank as one of the stupidest attempts at a crime ever...
COVINGTON, Ga., March 10 (UPI) -- The United States has never issued a $1 million bank note, but a suburban Atlanta-area woman allegedly tried cashing one anyway at Wal-Mart. Police in Covington say Alice Pike, 35, first tried to use two Wal-Mart cards to pay for $1,671.55 worth of items. But she only had a total of $2.32 worth of credit available on the cards. That's when she handed the cashier a $1 million bill and asked for change. The suspicious cashier called a manager, who then called police. When they arrived, Pike produced two similar bills from her wallet, saying she got them from her husband. She was being held Wednesday in the county jail on $2,550 bail on first-degree forgery charges, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution said. The highest denomination bill the U.S. government issues is $100. In 1969, the Department of the Treasury and the Federal Reserve System discontinued notes in denominations of $500, $1,000, $5,000 and $10,000 due to lack of use.
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
HONG KONG PROPERTY - BUY BUY BUY
My impartial advice, (ignoring for a moment my new-found status as a Hong Kong property owner) is to buy buy buy - the market's going up....
My impartial advice, (ignoring for a moment my new-found status as a Hong Kong property owner) is to buy buy buy - the market's going up....
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
RUGBY
A South African has kindly emailed me the following joke...
Newspaper Headline
MEN CHOKE IN FRONT OF LARGE CROWD
75,000 spectators watched helplessly yesterday as 15 sportsmen choked in front of them, apparently after being force-fed a large slice of humble pie. A doctor attending the scene said that the men had a medical history of this sort of thing: apparently it also happened in Dublin in 2001, 2000 in Edinburgh and in Wembley in 1999.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS
FOR SALE
One chariot, (low-swinging sweet type),in urgent need of repair
(wheels have come off). One careless owner, details from Clive, Tel. Twickenham 19-13
LOST
One rugby match, believed lost in Twickenham area. Of great personal significance, reward to finder. Call Steve Thompson on speeddial.
LOST (on way to Twickenham )
(I) Lineout Throwing 101
(ii) Plan B
Please contact : C Woodward, S Thompson, B Kay (Twickenham),
IN MEMORIAM
Slam, G : passed away, 07 March 2003 Sorely missed by Matt and the boys.
Will never forget you, when will we see yer like again?
FOR SALE
100,000 Grand Slam t-shirts, ties & scarves - unused (choice of
1998/99, 1999/2000, 2000/01 & 2003/04) Contact : RFU, Twickenham.
The fact that there is a large amount of truth in the above, and that this would be the perfect opportunity to prove the English can be gracious in defeat (we've had plenty of experience over the years after all) does not detract from the fact that it is very galling to have a South African have a go at our rugby team, especially given their status as worst losers in the world, worst team in the Tri-Nations Basketball competition that the Southern Hemisphere mistake for Rugby, and losing quarter-finalists in the World Cup (putting them on a par with Scotland and Wales), so, in a fit pique worthy of a South African, I would like to remind everyone of the immortal Spitting Image song, I've never met a nice South African, except for Mrs Chariot obviously.
A South African has kindly emailed me the following joke...
Newspaper Headline
MEN CHOKE IN FRONT OF LARGE CROWD
75,000 spectators watched helplessly yesterday as 15 sportsmen choked in front of them, apparently after being force-fed a large slice of humble pie. A doctor attending the scene said that the men had a medical history of this sort of thing: apparently it also happened in Dublin in 2001, 2000 in Edinburgh and in Wembley in 1999.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS
FOR SALE
One chariot, (low-swinging sweet type),in urgent need of repair
(wheels have come off). One careless owner, details from Clive, Tel. Twickenham 19-13
LOST
One rugby match, believed lost in Twickenham area. Of great personal significance, reward to finder. Call Steve Thompson on speeddial.
LOST (on way to Twickenham )
(I) Lineout Throwing 101
(ii) Plan B
Please contact : C Woodward, S Thompson, B Kay (Twickenham),
IN MEMORIAM
Slam, G : passed away, 07 March 2003 Sorely missed by Matt and the boys.
Will never forget you, when will we see yer like again?
FOR SALE
100,000 Grand Slam t-shirts, ties & scarves - unused (choice of
1998/99, 1999/2000, 2000/01 & 2003/04) Contact : RFU, Twickenham.
The fact that there is a large amount of truth in the above, and that this would be the perfect opportunity to prove the English can be gracious in defeat (we've had plenty of experience over the years after all) does not detract from the fact that it is very galling to have a South African have a go at our rugby team, especially given their status as worst losers in the world, worst team in the Tri-Nations Basketball competition that the Southern Hemisphere mistake for Rugby, and losing quarter-finalists in the World Cup (putting them on a par with Scotland and Wales), so, in a fit pique worthy of a South African, I would like to remind everyone of the immortal Spitting Image song, I've never met a nice South African, except for Mrs Chariot obviously.
North Korea May Invite Three Tenors in April, Choson Sinbo Says
By Heejin Koo
March 9 (Bloomberg) -- North Korea may invite tenors Luciano
Pavarotti, Jose Carreras and Placido Domingo to sing next month
at birthday celebrations for ``Great Leader'' Kim Il Sung, who
died in 1994, Choson Sinbo said, citing Vice Minister of Culture
Song Sok Hwan.
The communist state, in a 17-month international row over
its nuclear weapons program, will hold a ``Spring Friendship Art
Festival'' next month with 700 artists from 40 countries, the
Japan-based Korean-language newspaper reported.
Visiting artists will include the Russian National Ballet
Theatre, the Moscow State University Chamber Orchestra, the
Shanghai Symphony Orchestra and the China National Symphony
Orchestra, the report said.
Kim Il Sung, born in 1912, received military training in
the Soviet Union, which put him in charge of northern Korea after
World War II ended in 1945. In 1950, his army invaded South
Korea, under U.S. protection in an unsuccessful effort to force
unification. His son Kim Jong Il is now leader of North Korea.
Hmmm. That must be tempting for them. Go to a Stalinist country that is in the middle of a nuclear stand-off with the USA to sing at the birthday party of a dead guy. And it's not like any of them need the money. Don't think so somehow.
By Heejin Koo
March 9 (Bloomberg) -- North Korea may invite tenors Luciano
Pavarotti, Jose Carreras and Placido Domingo to sing next month
at birthday celebrations for ``Great Leader'' Kim Il Sung, who
died in 1994, Choson Sinbo said, citing Vice Minister of Culture
Song Sok Hwan.
The communist state, in a 17-month international row over
its nuclear weapons program, will hold a ``Spring Friendship Art
Festival'' next month with 700 artists from 40 countries, the
Japan-based Korean-language newspaper reported.
Visiting artists will include the Russian National Ballet
Theatre, the Moscow State University Chamber Orchestra, the
Shanghai Symphony Orchestra and the China National Symphony
Orchestra, the report said.
Kim Il Sung, born in 1912, received military training in
the Soviet Union, which put him in charge of northern Korea after
World War II ended in 1945. In 1950, his army invaded South
Korea, under U.S. protection in an unsuccessful effort to force
unification. His son Kim Jong Il is now leader of North Korea.
Hmmm. That must be tempting for them. Go to a Stalinist country that is in the middle of a nuclear stand-off with the USA to sing at the birthday party of a dead guy. And it's not like any of them need the money. Don't think so somehow.
ADVERTISING
I have just seen an advert on CNBC for the Airbus A340-500 (or something like that) - "the longest range aircraft in the world". That's very impressive, and I'm sure the rest of the machine is equally impressive. But why advertise it? I'm not going to pop out at lunch and buy a sandwich, a coke and an airbus! Surely they should be out pitching to the CEOs of various airlines, not advertising to people who are probably roughly $50million shy of being able to buy one of their products.
I have just seen an advert on CNBC for the Airbus A340-500 (or something like that) - "the longest range aircraft in the world". That's very impressive, and I'm sure the rest of the machine is equally impressive. But why advertise it? I'm not going to pop out at lunch and buy a sandwich, a coke and an airbus! Surely they should be out pitching to the CEOs of various airlines, not advertising to people who are probably roughly $50million shy of being able to buy one of their products.
SLOW NEWS DAY
Things seem to have become a bit predictable recently...
The Indonesians are being intolerant
The Japanese are killing themselves for no obvious reason (I wonder if the World Hype Organistion will try to chalk those deaths up to Bird Flu?).
The South Koreans have yet another political scandal to keep themselves occupied with.
The North Koreans are trying to order the world around again with their usual brand of zany comic demands.
Iraqis are blowing each other up again.
The Australian cricket team still can't play Muralitharan (tho I do agree with the Aussies that he's a cheat and should never be allowed to play again).
and the Hong Kong v China "patriotism" debate has become so petty and tedious it's not worth commenting on
Ho hum.... wake me if something interesting happens...
Things seem to have become a bit predictable recently...
The Indonesians are being intolerant
The Japanese are killing themselves for no obvious reason (I wonder if the World Hype Organistion will try to chalk those deaths up to Bird Flu?).
The South Koreans have yet another political scandal to keep themselves occupied with.
The North Koreans are trying to order the world around again with their usual brand of zany comic demands.
Iraqis are blowing each other up again.
The Australian cricket team still can't play Muralitharan (tho I do agree with the Aussies that he's a cheat and should never be allowed to play again).
and the Hong Kong v China "patriotism" debate has become so petty and tedious it's not worth commenting on
Ho hum.... wake me if something interesting happens...
Monday, March 08, 2004
HONG KONG PROPERTY
After a week of dithering I've taken the plunge and bought a flat in HK! 508 sq feet in a new block in Kennedy Town. In London that would be a studio. In Hong Kong it's a 2 bedroom flat.
The process itself was worth the money. After Mrs Chariot and I decided to take the plunge and pout in a bid we were ushered into room with the agent who showed us the flat. The Landlord's representative was in the next door room. There was then 30 minutes of slapstick comedy as the agent shuttled back and forth between the rooms passing prices and messages around. Finally we agreed on a price - an 8% discount to the original asking price, including the agent paying stamp duty and legal fees.
Then came the most fun bit. To seal the deal a 5% deposit was required.
"do you take Visa?"
"certainly"
Where else in the world can you buy a flat on a credit card? The flat is worth the money if only for the Asiamiles from the credit card.
I have to pay another 5% on Wednesday, and the balance on completion in a month.
I also got a call within 3 hours from the agent telling me that another flat had sold but only with a 5% discount "so you have already made money. Would you like to buy another one?"
Hmmmmmm - I haven't made anything till I sell the place, and if I wanted 2 I would have said so at the time..... still full marks for effort!
So if anyone knows someone who wants to rent a shoebox in a very local part of town from mid-April I will pay commision in beer for referrals.
After a week of dithering I've taken the plunge and bought a flat in HK! 508 sq feet in a new block in Kennedy Town. In London that would be a studio. In Hong Kong it's a 2 bedroom flat.
The process itself was worth the money. After Mrs Chariot and I decided to take the plunge and pout in a bid we were ushered into room with the agent who showed us the flat. The Landlord's representative was in the next door room. There was then 30 minutes of slapstick comedy as the agent shuttled back and forth between the rooms passing prices and messages around. Finally we agreed on a price - an 8% discount to the original asking price, including the agent paying stamp duty and legal fees.
Then came the most fun bit. To seal the deal a 5% deposit was required.
"do you take Visa?"
"certainly"
Where else in the world can you buy a flat on a credit card? The flat is worth the money if only for the Asiamiles from the credit card.
I have to pay another 5% on Wednesday, and the balance on completion in a month.
I also got a call within 3 hours from the agent telling me that another flat had sold but only with a 5% discount "so you have already made money. Would you like to buy another one?"
Hmmmmmm - I haven't made anything till I sell the place, and if I wanted 2 I would have said so at the time..... still full marks for effort!
So if anyone knows someone who wants to rent a shoebox in a very local part of town from mid-April I will pay commision in beer for referrals.
CONMEN
I've just walked through the square between IFC 1 and 2 and The Forum, and it just occured to me that it's ages since I had anyone come up to me and tell me that I'm a very lucky man, and today is my lucky day. It used to enliven many a dull Pret-a-manger sandwich lunch to have them come up, let them get half-way through their spiel, and then tell them to fcuk off. I almost miss them. There was one guy in particular who caught a real earful after he came up to me while I was sitting just digesting the news my grandmother had died. They were a great way of letting off a bit of steam by giving them an ear-bashing. I say bring them back, then I'd have someone to rant at so I'd feel better about the dismal performance of the English rugby team over the weekend.
I've just walked through the square between IFC 1 and 2 and The Forum, and it just occured to me that it's ages since I had anyone come up to me and tell me that I'm a very lucky man, and today is my lucky day. It used to enliven many a dull Pret-a-manger sandwich lunch to have them come up, let them get half-way through their spiel, and then tell them to fcuk off. I almost miss them. There was one guy in particular who caught a real earful after he came up to me while I was sitting just digesting the news my grandmother had died. They were a great way of letting off a bit of steam by giving them an ear-bashing. I say bring them back, then I'd have someone to rant at so I'd feel better about the dismal performance of the English rugby team over the weekend.
Sunday, March 07, 2004
6 NATIONS
First the good news - Italy beat Scotland. Sadly I didn't see the game but the result seems to confirm the demise of Scottish Rugby. They are rapidly heading towards oblivion. Good. Couldn't happen to a more "chippy" bunch of moaners.
And now the bad news. England beaten at home by Ireland. And my god were we well beaten. The final scoreline hopelessly flatters England. We were comprehensively outplayed all over the park, and the less said about the lineouts the better. England had a couple of chances to snatch victory towards the death, when we finally started to string a few passes together and the forwards finally remembered how to keep the ball, but if we had somehow snuck a victory it would have been an outrageous travesty.
This means that France V England on 28 March is not necessarily the decider it was expected to be. Assuming Ireland beat Italy and Scotland, then if England beat France there will be 3 teams with 3 wins and 1 loss - then it all gets mathematical as to who wins the championship. If France beat England however then the Grand Slam is theirs.
There's still plenty to play for.....
First the good news - Italy beat Scotland. Sadly I didn't see the game but the result seems to confirm the demise of Scottish Rugby. They are rapidly heading towards oblivion. Good. Couldn't happen to a more "chippy" bunch of moaners.
And now the bad news. England beaten at home by Ireland. And my god were we well beaten. The final scoreline hopelessly flatters England. We were comprehensively outplayed all over the park, and the less said about the lineouts the better. England had a couple of chances to snatch victory towards the death, when we finally started to string a few passes together and the forwards finally remembered how to keep the ball, but if we had somehow snuck a victory it would have been an outrageous travesty.
This means that France V England on 28 March is not necessarily the decider it was expected to be. Assuming Ireland beat Italy and Scotland, then if England beat France there will be 3 teams with 3 wins and 1 loss - then it all gets mathematical as to who wins the championship. If France beat England however then the Grand Slam is theirs.
There's still plenty to play for.....
Saturday, March 06, 2004
THE MOTORING SECTION
Gold Lexus - AU 3343 - when driving on a road wth more than one lane in the same direction, pick a lane and stay in it! Don't wander around between lanes like a drunkard.
Merc E240 - BS 8238 - When a traffic light is red, it's customary to stop, not drive through the junction and then look surprised when an angry gweilo hoots and then swears at you.
Gold Lexus - AU 3343 - when driving on a road wth more than one lane in the same direction, pick a lane and stay in it! Don't wander around between lanes like a drunkard.
Merc E240 - BS 8238 - When a traffic light is red, it's customary to stop, not drive through the junction and then look surprised when an angry gweilo hoots and then swears at you.
RUGBY!! 6 NATIONS FORECASTS
Tonight marks the half-way point in the 6 Nations championship, and here are a few thoughts...
Italy v Scotland - The wooden spoon decider
Scotland are number 9 in the world rankings, and have looked pretty feeble so far. Italy are number 10 in the rankings and have had good moments but again failed to really impress. Purely on recent form, and given "home advantage" Italy look the better bet, but when it comes down to it I think Scotlands experience will tell, plus the scots will probably have as many fans as the Italians, if not more, negating the home advantage.
The heart is praying for an Italian win, the head says Scotland by 5 to 10.
England v Ireland
Fortress Twickenham. 22 games unbeaten at home over 5 years. On paper England should walk it, but Ireland are unpredictable, and Robinson is facing a truly world class centre in Brian O'Driscoll for the first time. I think England will win, but not by as much as the Twickenham faithful would like or expect. England by 10 to 15.
Wales v France
The supposedly resurgent Welsh will be given a bit of a going over I think. Ireland showed that the welsh pack is not that strong, and France's pack are a step-up again. Combine that with backs who can create something from nothing in the blink of an eye and I think the welsh will be staring down the barrel of a thumping.
France by 15 to 20 if there's rain, and 20 to 25 if it's dry.
Tonight marks the half-way point in the 6 Nations championship, and here are a few thoughts...
Italy v Scotland - The wooden spoon decider
Scotland are number 9 in the world rankings, and have looked pretty feeble so far. Italy are number 10 in the rankings and have had good moments but again failed to really impress. Purely on recent form, and given "home advantage" Italy look the better bet, but when it comes down to it I think Scotlands experience will tell, plus the scots will probably have as many fans as the Italians, if not more, negating the home advantage.
The heart is praying for an Italian win, the head says Scotland by 5 to 10.
England v Ireland
Fortress Twickenham. 22 games unbeaten at home over 5 years. On paper England should walk it, but Ireland are unpredictable, and Robinson is facing a truly world class centre in Brian O'Driscoll for the first time. I think England will win, but not by as much as the Twickenham faithful would like or expect. England by 10 to 15.
Wales v France
The supposedly resurgent Welsh will be given a bit of a going over I think. Ireland showed that the welsh pack is not that strong, and France's pack are a step-up again. Combine that with backs who can create something from nothing in the blink of an eye and I think the welsh will be staring down the barrel of a thumping.
France by 15 to 20 if there's rain, and 20 to 25 if it's dry.
Friday, March 05, 2004
Thursday, March 04, 2004
STUPIDITY AT WORK
Simon's rant about stupidity at work made me remember this excellent email i got from a colleague which goes a long way to explaining company policies and employee attitudes...
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang
a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a
monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.
As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with
cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the
same result all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty
soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other
monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and
replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants
to climb the stairs.
To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb
the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with
a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The
previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!
Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a
fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the
stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have
no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they
are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After
replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys
have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever
again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.
Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been
done around here.
And that, my friends, is how a Company Policy begins.
Simon's rant about stupidity at work made me remember this excellent email i got from a colleague which goes a long way to explaining company policies and employee attitudes...
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang
a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a
monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.
As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with
cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the
same result all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty
soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other
monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and
replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants
to climb the stairs.
To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb
the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with
a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The
previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!
Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a
fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the
stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have
no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they
are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After
replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys
have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever
again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.
Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been
done around here.
And that, my friends, is how a Company Policy begins.
PATRIOTISM
This seems to be the flavour of the month for discussion so my contributions are...
1. Why should "patriotism" = "love for the communist party". Most people are patriotic about thier countries but not all love the local communist party - America and Americans are the obvious example. Most love their country to an almost scary degree but mention of communist parties prompts frothing at the mouth.
2. Why should anyone listen to ramblings from 20 years ago of a stupid old goat who successfully repressed and held back his "beloved" people and country for generations. Deng XiaoPing's views on pretty much anything aren't worth the paper they're printed on.
3. Why should a "patriot" lead Hong Kong. If the people vote for someone who hates the place then that is their decision and should be respected.
4. Patriotism and love for the country aren't always the same thing. I'm patriotic about any English sports team, but you won't catch me ever living back in Mud Island - it's totally gone to the dogs and the weather is terrible.
5. don't the communists realise that all their laughable rhetoric is merely making the situation worse? If they shut up for a while then everyone in HK would forget about it and go back to their first love, making money.
And that concludes this slight oversimplification of the issue
This seems to be the flavour of the month for discussion so my contributions are...
1. Why should "patriotism" = "love for the communist party". Most people are patriotic about thier countries but not all love the local communist party - America and Americans are the obvious example. Most love their country to an almost scary degree but mention of communist parties prompts frothing at the mouth.
2. Why should anyone listen to ramblings from 20 years ago of a stupid old goat who successfully repressed and held back his "beloved" people and country for generations. Deng XiaoPing's views on pretty much anything aren't worth the paper they're printed on.
3. Why should a "patriot" lead Hong Kong. If the people vote for someone who hates the place then that is their decision and should be respected.
4. Patriotism and love for the country aren't always the same thing. I'm patriotic about any English sports team, but you won't catch me ever living back in Mud Island - it's totally gone to the dogs and the weather is terrible.
5. don't the communists realise that all their laughable rhetoric is merely making the situation worse? If they shut up for a while then everyone in HK would forget about it and go back to their first love, making money.
And that concludes this slight oversimplification of the issue
AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE - OI OI OI
Just spotted this story.
SYDNEY, March 4 (AFP) - A patrotic Melbourne couple have bought
the trademark rights to the sporting chant "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie,
Oi, Oi, Oi" to protect it from overseas exploitation, they said
Thursday.
Greg Davies, a plumber, and his wife Diane said they spent about
5,000 dollars (3,740 US dollars) to keep the slogan safe in Aussie
hands.
"Every time you hear it, I reckon it sounds great," said Greg.
"But protecting it, that's the biggest thing.
"It's an Australian slogan and we just want to keep it for the
Australian public, that's it."
The chant can be heard at pretty much any sporting fixture where
Australia is competing, where it is repeated endlessly over and over
again, without variation.
Some members of the Australian swim team labelled the chant
embarrassing a few years ago and urged fans to come up with
something more creative.
The Davies' have the slogan printed on their work van and have
had hundreds of stickers made. They say they are not aiming to make
money from the trademark.
On the face of it it seems a good idea, but unfortunately for the stupid aussies who just spent A$5,000 on the chant, it's actually originally a chant coined by a man some might describe as the funniest welsh comedian ever (though I would say he is the only welsh comedian ever), Max Boyce. He used to start his shows by coming on stage and shouting Oggie, Oggie, Oggie, and the crowd would reply Oi, Oi, Oi - etc - if you've heard either him or the aussies do it then you'll know the rest.
Anyway suffice to say that the aussies greatest sporting chant is actually welsh. Given the feeble efforts of their rugby team who have successfully lost every major rugby trophy over the last 4 years the welsh link seems very appropriate.
Just spotted this story.
SYDNEY, March 4 (AFP) - A patrotic Melbourne couple have bought
the trademark rights to the sporting chant "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie,
Oi, Oi, Oi" to protect it from overseas exploitation, they said
Thursday.
Greg Davies, a plumber, and his wife Diane said they spent about
5,000 dollars (3,740 US dollars) to keep the slogan safe in Aussie
hands.
"Every time you hear it, I reckon it sounds great," said Greg.
"But protecting it, that's the biggest thing.
"It's an Australian slogan and we just want to keep it for the
Australian public, that's it."
The chant can be heard at pretty much any sporting fixture where
Australia is competing, where it is repeated endlessly over and over
again, without variation.
Some members of the Australian swim team labelled the chant
embarrassing a few years ago and urged fans to come up with
something more creative.
The Davies' have the slogan printed on their work van and have
had hundreds of stickers made. They say they are not aiming to make
money from the trademark.
On the face of it it seems a good idea, but unfortunately for the stupid aussies who just spent A$5,000 on the chant, it's actually originally a chant coined by a man some might describe as the funniest welsh comedian ever (though I would say he is the only welsh comedian ever), Max Boyce. He used to start his shows by coming on stage and shouting Oggie, Oggie, Oggie, and the crowd would reply Oi, Oi, Oi - etc - if you've heard either him or the aussies do it then you'll know the rest.
Anyway suffice to say that the aussies greatest sporting chant is actually welsh. Given the feeble efforts of their rugby team who have successfully lost every major rugby trophy over the last 4 years the welsh link seems very appropriate.
GOLF. I JUST DON'T GET IT.
Have just remembered something I meant to mention yesterday but forgot.
Yesterday morning while coming into town I saw a man practicing putting (as in on a golf green, not as in large steroid-laden East German women hurling lead cannonballs 100 metres or so) on his rooftop. He had laid out a piece of green cloth / carpet / astroturf and was there with about 15 balls aiming at a plant pot turned on it's side. It was 7.30am. At that time of day if you don't have to be up, then why would you be? And if you're going to get up, why practice golf?
This is a sport in which "athletes" such as Colin "fat bastard" Montgomerie, John "fat, drunk bastard" Daly, and even Craig "fat, drunk, sweaty bastard" Stadler can win tournaments.
I just don't understand the obsession. It's hideously expensive. Every club is ruled by ex-colonels/generals/rear-admirals who run the places like their own sad little empires, and enforce lots of pathetic little rules. Every course seems to be booked solid all year round so to play you have to get up at about 5am on a weekend and trek to China to play. It involves almost no physical exercise (remember someone else carries their sticks), and nothing moves at a speed above a gentle stroll. Yes it is difficult to aim the ball accurately, but it's also difficult to thread a needle, and no-one calls that a sport (though no doubt ESPN will now show the all-malaysian under-15 needle threading championships instead of say the 6 Nations rugby).
One day everyone will wake up and realise they have wasted a huge amount of time and money on a "sport" that is boring as bollocks and which they're crap at, and when they do finally realise the error of their ways and head to the bar, they will discover that observant people such as myself who realised long ago what a waste of time it all is have not only saved lots of time and money, but have also nicked all the best seats in the bar!
Have just remembered something I meant to mention yesterday but forgot.
Yesterday morning while coming into town I saw a man practicing putting (as in on a golf green, not as in large steroid-laden East German women hurling lead cannonballs 100 metres or so) on his rooftop. He had laid out a piece of green cloth / carpet / astroturf and was there with about 15 balls aiming at a plant pot turned on it's side. It was 7.30am. At that time of day if you don't have to be up, then why would you be? And if you're going to get up, why practice golf?
This is a sport in which "athletes" such as Colin "fat bastard" Montgomerie, John "fat, drunk bastard" Daly, and even Craig "fat, drunk, sweaty bastard" Stadler can win tournaments.
I just don't understand the obsession. It's hideously expensive. Every club is ruled by ex-colonels/generals/rear-admirals who run the places like their own sad little empires, and enforce lots of pathetic little rules. Every course seems to be booked solid all year round so to play you have to get up at about 5am on a weekend and trek to China to play. It involves almost no physical exercise (remember someone else carries their sticks), and nothing moves at a speed above a gentle stroll. Yes it is difficult to aim the ball accurately, but it's also difficult to thread a needle, and no-one calls that a sport (though no doubt ESPN will now show the all-malaysian under-15 needle threading championships instead of say the 6 Nations rugby).
One day everyone will wake up and realise they have wasted a huge amount of time and money on a "sport" that is boring as bollocks and which they're crap at, and when they do finally realise the error of their ways and head to the bar, they will discover that observant people such as myself who realised long ago what a waste of time it all is have not only saved lots of time and money, but have also nicked all the best seats in the bar!
MIX and CityNotSoSuper
Just been to get a sarnie at Mix. what the hell is it with their ordering system? you order your sarnie at 1 counter, your drink at another, and pay at a third, which is inbetween the first 2. There are lost people milling about all over the place, sandwiches and drinks landing up with the wrong people. It's chaos. The only place worse is the deli counter at CitySuper in IFC. That has taken stupidity to a whole new level.
There you queue (or "line up" if you're american) at the food counter and give your order to the bloke behind it. He carefully writes it down on a bit of paper which he gives you. you then queue at another counter to pay. Once you have pais a seperate person staples the receipt to your original piece of paper. you then go back to your first queue, with all the people who have yet to even decide what they want. then you get to the front and give your piece of paper and stapled receipt to the server, who finally actually makes your lunch. What an effing stupid system. It takes hours just to get a bottle of water. I now don't bother to go there at all even though they do great japanese lunchbox type things because i'm not sure that I will be able to prevent myself from impaling either the writer, server, till-operator or receipt-stapler on a pair of sharpened chopsticks.
Just been to get a sarnie at Mix. what the hell is it with their ordering system? you order your sarnie at 1 counter, your drink at another, and pay at a third, which is inbetween the first 2. There are lost people milling about all over the place, sandwiches and drinks landing up with the wrong people. It's chaos. The only place worse is the deli counter at CitySuper in IFC. That has taken stupidity to a whole new level.
There you queue (or "line up" if you're american) at the food counter and give your order to the bloke behind it. He carefully writes it down on a bit of paper which he gives you. you then queue at another counter to pay. Once you have pais a seperate person staples the receipt to your original piece of paper. you then go back to your first queue, with all the people who have yet to even decide what they want. then you get to the front and give your piece of paper and stapled receipt to the server, who finally actually makes your lunch. What an effing stupid system. It takes hours just to get a bottle of water. I now don't bother to go there at all even though they do great japanese lunchbox type things because i'm not sure that I will be able to prevent myself from impaling either the writer, server, till-operator or receipt-stapler on a pair of sharpened chopsticks.
RANT
I regularly commute into town on the Peak Tram. It's a marvellous way to get into town. As a general rule it's almost empty and you get a great view on the way down the hill. As an added bonus you don't have to worry about Hong Kong's appalling drivers doing something completely random and hitting you. For those who have never used this form of transport there is a "driver" whose job basically is to open and shut the doors at either end. He/She unsurprisingly stands at the front of the tram facing the direction of travel, so has to change ends depending on whether it's going up or down.
So there I am on the Peak Tram this morning. It's 7.30am. It's quiet and peaceful. This morning it's unusually full - there are 5 of us on board (a mix of locals and expats) spread over the 2 carriages. Everyone is sitting quietly minding their own business, as should happen at 7.30am.
Then, after we've been moving for about 30 seconds, the cantonese guy halway up the second carriage turns to the driver, a full carriage-and-a-half away, and shouts something in cantonese (is there any other volume in Cantonese than shout?). we are all rudely roused from our gentle slumbers. She replies, at full volume obviously. He replies. A full blown (and full volume) conversation gets under way all the way down the hill.
The rest of us all look at each other in disbelief.
Obviously we can't beat the driver to a pulp because none of us know how to operate the brake.
And we can't beat the other guy up as it would mean walking up the length of the tram, which is on a steep downslope remember, and it's early so none of us can be bothered.
So what do we do? As we get out we all give her and him evil looks and, in true english fashion, mutter a quiet "tut" under our breaths.
That'll show them!
Sadly as we have probably all discovered this is water off a ducks back to the inhabitants of this city, so please be prepared to hear of gweilos running amok on the Tram with sharpened umbrellas early in the morning. No-one disturbs my early mornings twice.
I regularly commute into town on the Peak Tram. It's a marvellous way to get into town. As a general rule it's almost empty and you get a great view on the way down the hill. As an added bonus you don't have to worry about Hong Kong's appalling drivers doing something completely random and hitting you. For those who have never used this form of transport there is a "driver" whose job basically is to open and shut the doors at either end. He/She unsurprisingly stands at the front of the tram facing the direction of travel, so has to change ends depending on whether it's going up or down.
So there I am on the Peak Tram this morning. It's 7.30am. It's quiet and peaceful. This morning it's unusually full - there are 5 of us on board (a mix of locals and expats) spread over the 2 carriages. Everyone is sitting quietly minding their own business, as should happen at 7.30am.
Then, after we've been moving for about 30 seconds, the cantonese guy halway up the second carriage turns to the driver, a full carriage-and-a-half away, and shouts something in cantonese (is there any other volume in Cantonese than shout?). we are all rudely roused from our gentle slumbers. She replies, at full volume obviously. He replies. A full blown (and full volume) conversation gets under way all the way down the hill.
The rest of us all look at each other in disbelief.
Obviously we can't beat the driver to a pulp because none of us know how to operate the brake.
And we can't beat the other guy up as it would mean walking up the length of the tram, which is on a steep downslope remember, and it's early so none of us can be bothered.
So what do we do? As we get out we all give her and him evil looks and, in true english fashion, mutter a quiet "tut" under our breaths.
That'll show them!
Sadly as we have probably all discovered this is water off a ducks back to the inhabitants of this city, so please be prepared to hear of gweilos running amok on the Tram with sharpened umbrellas early in the morning. No-one disturbs my early mornings twice.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
HONG KONG SEVENS
Awesome news - Scotland are in the same pool as England in the 7s. Let the slaughter begin
Awesome news - Scotland are in the same pool as England in the 7s. Let the slaughter begin
SUPER TUESDAY
thanks to the miracle of time zones and international date lines, today (Weds) in Hong Kong is Super Tuesday in the States. This is the day when 10 states have their democratic party primaries to choose who they would like to lead the democratic party in the Novembers presidential election.
If you're an American, it's Super Tuesday because there are 10 results to analyse and bore everyone else about, more than on any other day.
If you're not, then it's Super Tuesday because by the end of it it is pretty much cut and dried who is going to win the democratic party nomination and you hope you won't have to hear any more tedious american (or indeed any other country) political analysis until the election finally rolls around in November.
In case anyone cares by the way, Senator John Kerry appears to have things pretty much wrapped up for the democrats.
thanks to the miracle of time zones and international date lines, today (Weds) in Hong Kong is Super Tuesday in the States. This is the day when 10 states have their democratic party primaries to choose who they would like to lead the democratic party in the Novembers presidential election.
If you're an American, it's Super Tuesday because there are 10 results to analyse and bore everyone else about, more than on any other day.
If you're not, then it's Super Tuesday because by the end of it it is pretty much cut and dried who is going to win the democratic party nomination and you hope you won't have to hear any more tedious american (or indeed any other country) political analysis until the election finally rolls around in November.
In case anyone cares by the way, Senator John Kerry appears to have things pretty much wrapped up for the democrats.
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
CRIME IN HONG KONG
When we moved 6 months ago to a place on The Peak we were warned by lots of concerned locals that The Peak is a hotbed of crime, with hordes of marauding mainlanders fleecing people left, right and centre. So far in 6 months we have heard of 1 break-in in which a camera was stolen. Hardly a crimewave. And now I have more proof of how generally law-abiding Hong Kong is.
Our car is not parked in a big, secure underground carpark, but under a "carport" - effectively just under a roof with all 4 sides open. I recently returned from a 10 day business trip to find that I had left the roof down on my car (admittedly not the most valuable car in HK), and also had somehow managed to leave the keys in the ignition (pretty stupid even by my standards). It was still there however. Do that in London and it'll be gone in minutes, even if it's a Skoda.
and now I see this sort-of-heart-warming tale. It turns there is crime in HK, but the thieves are so polite they take care to make sure their victims are found and looked after.
What a civilised place.
When we moved 6 months ago to a place on The Peak we were warned by lots of concerned locals that The Peak is a hotbed of crime, with hordes of marauding mainlanders fleecing people left, right and centre. So far in 6 months we have heard of 1 break-in in which a camera was stolen. Hardly a crimewave. And now I have more proof of how generally law-abiding Hong Kong is.
Our car is not parked in a big, secure underground carpark, but under a "carport" - effectively just under a roof with all 4 sides open. I recently returned from a 10 day business trip to find that I had left the roof down on my car (admittedly not the most valuable car in HK), and also had somehow managed to leave the keys in the ignition (pretty stupid even by my standards). It was still there however. Do that in London and it'll be gone in minutes, even if it's a Skoda.
and now I see this sort-of-heart-warming tale. It turns there is crime in HK, but the thieves are so polite they take care to make sure their victims are found and looked after.
What a civilised place.
THE MOTORING SECTION An occasional series of rants about appalling Hong Kong driving and drivers
To the driver of taxi reg'n LH 4454, 20kmh in the fog is just about understandable, but 20kmh all the way down the hill once you're out of the fog is not! You're a professional driver for christ's sake. Surely the faster you get down into town, the faster you'll get another fare. Think about it!!!
To the driver of taxi reg'n LH 4454, 20kmh in the fog is just about understandable, but 20kmh all the way down the hill once you're out of the fog is not! You're a professional driver for christ's sake. Surely the faster you get down into town, the faster you'll get another fare. Think about it!!!
Monday, March 01, 2004
AUSTRALIA
And so to my trip round Australia...
There I am, in a country with what I believe is the longest coastline in the world, where 95% of the population live within spitting distance of the sea, and with one of the lowest population desities in the world. They are surrounded by warm waters and the largest tropical reefs in the world, mild waters and migratory fish, and cold waters with huge fish stocks, SO WHY DO THEY ONLY EAT STEAK?!?!
We asked customers to book restaurants for our visits as obviously I am not up to speed on the best places in each city. The
customers chose....
Meal 1 - Sydney - a steak house
Meal 2 - Sydney - overlooking the harbour but no fish - lot of steak / lamb / kangaroo
Meal 3 - Sydney - a typical brasserie type place - steak / lamb / chicken / ostrich - token bit of fish but it was imported farmed salmon
Meal 4 - Melbourne - a steak house
Meal 5 - Melbourne - we put our collective feet down and demanded something different - so we got an italian that is known for it's steak and lamb
Meal 6 - Hobart - steak / lamb.... again....
Finally, on the last night, back in Sydney, when I was able to go out with just my 2 travelling companions for a meal we found a fish place - Doyles at the Overseas Terminal on Circular Quay. Excellent it was too, with a view of the Opera House on 1 side and the bridge on the other.
This pretty much exclusively meat diet seems to take it's toll on aussies. It was noticeable that aussies "of a certain age" go pretty swiftly from bronzed beach adonises to large (nice word for fat), sweaty, red-faced (and definitely red-nosed) slobs. The exceptions were few and far between! I am aware that the Brits are hardly top of the league in the beauty stakes, but it is quite funny to see that a country that markets itself as the fountain of youth and beauty is full of fat blokes eating meat pies.
Anyway. On to the cities themselves...
Sydney.
Ahhh Sydney. Lifestyle capital of the world. Long hot summer days spent on the beach, cooling down with a cold beer or a dip in the pristine waters... except when we were there it was 20 deg and pissing with rain, and the rain was washing pollution and general crap into the sea so that the beaches were shut and water was brown. Hmmmmm. Not a good start!
Melbourne.
Sunshine, for several continuous hours!! as any regular visitor to Melbourne will know this is quite a shock! The old joke goes that if you don't like the weather in Melbourne, just wait 5 minutes, but our 24 hours there were perfect. 27 deg, sunshine, low hum idity... marvellous. If only it was always like that, and there was a decent beach within a 100 mile radius...
And so to... Hobart.
there was all the usual jokes about people there being in-bred, having 6 fingers and/or 2 heads, and below is a joke that sums up most peoples iews of Tasmania and Tasmaninas (told to us by a Tasmanian before anyone gets offended.)
A guy goes home to his parents in Sydney / Melbourne / Canberra (pick any non-Tasmanian location) and says,
"I've met the girl i'm going to marry. She's from Tasmania, she's smart, she's beautiful, she's got a great job, and she's so pure she's still a virgin"
his dad turns to him and says,
"son - i'm sorry but i can't allow you to marry her. she sounded great right up to the bit about her still being a virgin. if she's not good enough for her own family then she's certainly not good enough for ours"
boom boom....
In fact Hobart was magnificent. Everyone was friendly. The town feels like a large english market town in terms of pace (i.e. not much), but it is scattered around the edge of a natural harbour created by the mouth of the Derwent river. Everyone has a harbour-view, and most have water-front properties. The land rolls gently between impressive mountains, and in large areas is thickly forested. Hiking, fishing, hunting and messing about on the water are the main sports and weekend activities. In short, it's great. Tasmanians seem pretty content with their lot, and having been there I can see why.
Overall - I still think Australia is a great place. I love Melbourne and Hobart, and on previous visits have loved adelaide and Perth, but Sydney is slowly losing it's magic in my eyes. My last 3 trips there have coincided with bushfires on the first 2 visits (so the air is brown and stinks), and rain on my last visit (so the water is brown and stinks).
There is however still a chance for Sydney to redeem itself. I am going backin May to catch up with some customers I didn't see this time. Fingers crossed.
And so to my trip round Australia...
There I am, in a country with what I believe is the longest coastline in the world, where 95% of the population live within spitting distance of the sea, and with one of the lowest population desities in the world. They are surrounded by warm waters and the largest tropical reefs in the world, mild waters and migratory fish, and cold waters with huge fish stocks, SO WHY DO THEY ONLY EAT STEAK?!?!
We asked customers to book restaurants for our visits as obviously I am not up to speed on the best places in each city. The
customers chose....
Meal 1 - Sydney - a steak house
Meal 2 - Sydney - overlooking the harbour but no fish - lot of steak / lamb / kangaroo
Meal 3 - Sydney - a typical brasserie type place - steak / lamb / chicken / ostrich - token bit of fish but it was imported farmed salmon
Meal 4 - Melbourne - a steak house
Meal 5 - Melbourne - we put our collective feet down and demanded something different - so we got an italian that is known for it's steak and lamb
Meal 6 - Hobart - steak / lamb.... again....
Finally, on the last night, back in Sydney, when I was able to go out with just my 2 travelling companions for a meal we found a fish place - Doyles at the Overseas Terminal on Circular Quay. Excellent it was too, with a view of the Opera House on 1 side and the bridge on the other.
This pretty much exclusively meat diet seems to take it's toll on aussies. It was noticeable that aussies "of a certain age" go pretty swiftly from bronzed beach adonises to large (nice word for fat), sweaty, red-faced (and definitely red-nosed) slobs. The exceptions were few and far between! I am aware that the Brits are hardly top of the league in the beauty stakes, but it is quite funny to see that a country that markets itself as the fountain of youth and beauty is full of fat blokes eating meat pies.
Anyway. On to the cities themselves...
Sydney.
Ahhh Sydney. Lifestyle capital of the world. Long hot summer days spent on the beach, cooling down with a cold beer or a dip in the pristine waters... except when we were there it was 20 deg and pissing with rain, and the rain was washing pollution and general crap into the sea so that the beaches were shut and water was brown. Hmmmmm. Not a good start!
Melbourne.
Sunshine, for several continuous hours!! as any regular visitor to Melbourne will know this is quite a shock! The old joke goes that if you don't like the weather in Melbourne, just wait 5 minutes, but our 24 hours there were perfect. 27 deg, sunshine, low hum idity... marvellous. If only it was always like that, and there was a decent beach within a 100 mile radius...
And so to... Hobart.
there was all the usual jokes about people there being in-bred, having 6 fingers and/or 2 heads, and below is a joke that sums up most peoples iews of Tasmania and Tasmaninas (told to us by a Tasmanian before anyone gets offended.)
A guy goes home to his parents in Sydney / Melbourne / Canberra (pick any non-Tasmanian location) and says,
"I've met the girl i'm going to marry. She's from Tasmania, she's smart, she's beautiful, she's got a great job, and she's so pure she's still a virgin"
his dad turns to him and says,
"son - i'm sorry but i can't allow you to marry her. she sounded great right up to the bit about her still being a virgin. if she's not good enough for her own family then she's certainly not good enough for ours"
boom boom....
In fact Hobart was magnificent. Everyone was friendly. The town feels like a large english market town in terms of pace (i.e. not much), but it is scattered around the edge of a natural harbour created by the mouth of the Derwent river. Everyone has a harbour-view, and most have water-front properties. The land rolls gently between impressive mountains, and in large areas is thickly forested. Hiking, fishing, hunting and messing about on the water are the main sports and weekend activities. In short, it's great. Tasmanians seem pretty content with their lot, and having been there I can see why.
Overall - I still think Australia is a great place. I love Melbourne and Hobart, and on previous visits have loved adelaide and Perth, but Sydney is slowly losing it's magic in my eyes. My last 3 trips there have coincided with bushfires on the first 2 visits (so the air is brown and stinks), and rain on my last visit (so the water is brown and stinks).
There is however still a chance for Sydney to redeem itself. I am going backin May to catch up with some customers I didn't see this time. Fingers crossed.
THE OSCARS
I am told Lord of the Rings duly won best film by someone who cares about these things. This is the very least it should have won - those 3 movies should win best film for the next decade. HOWEVER, I would like 1 small rant about L.o.t.R., or more specfically, Liv Tyler. What is it about Liv Tyler that gets people so excited?
She has, unfortunately for her, inherited mainly her fathers looks. This would be fine if she was a heavy metal singer, but she isn't. She also can't act to save her life. Even though most of the time she is in shot she is soft focus (apparently to convey some form of mystical immortality) she still manages to look like a horse chewing a stinging nettle.
If you haven't seen the movie and don't want an idea of what happens at the end, stop reading now!
The least believable part of the entire rings trilogy, and remember this is a movie featuring wizards, magical rings, awks, hobbits, ents, giants etc etc..., is at the end when Aragorn picks Liv over the cute blonde who is a dab hand hand with a sword. There he is, being crowned king, having vanquished the forces or Mordor, single-handedly killed zillions of Awks and giants and generally been a pretty much all-round super hero, and up rolls Liv looking doped out, again, and he drops little blondey faster than Wendell Sailor trying to catch a rugby ball.
I just don't get it.
I am told Lord of the Rings duly won best film by someone who cares about these things. This is the very least it should have won - those 3 movies should win best film for the next decade. HOWEVER, I would like 1 small rant about L.o.t.R., or more specfically, Liv Tyler. What is it about Liv Tyler that gets people so excited?
She has, unfortunately for her, inherited mainly her fathers looks. This would be fine if she was a heavy metal singer, but she isn't. She also can't act to save her life. Even though most of the time she is in shot she is soft focus (apparently to convey some form of mystical immortality) she still manages to look like a horse chewing a stinging nettle.
If you haven't seen the movie and don't want an idea of what happens at the end, stop reading now!
The least believable part of the entire rings trilogy, and remember this is a movie featuring wizards, magical rings, awks, hobbits, ents, giants etc etc..., is at the end when Aragorn picks Liv over the cute blonde who is a dab hand hand with a sword. There he is, being crowned king, having vanquished the forces or Mordor, single-handedly killed zillions of Awks and giants and generally been a pretty much all-round super hero, and up rolls Liv looking doped out, again, and he drops little blondey faster than Wendell Sailor trying to catch a rugby ball.
I just don't get it.
NEW ZEALAND - WHY?
On this trip I spent 4 very pleasant days in New Zealand. On my last one I spent 5 similar days. In general I like New Zealand. The people are friendly (unless you ask them who won the rugby World Cup in an english accent, then they suddenly become all excitable), the beer is cold, the pace of life is gentle, the seafood is excellent.
BUT (and it's a big but), what is it about the weather? Last time I was there was Novemeber 02, so late spring. This time was mid-Feb, so in theory the height of summer. Both times it has been on the cold side if fresh, raining and windy. And yet both times, in both Auckland and Weelington, the locals have assured me that "it's not usually like this" and "it's unseasonally cold / wet / windy".
Auckland markets itself as "The City of Sails" - for sails to work you need wind! and Wellington is referred to, even by Wellingtonians (if that's correct), as "The Windy City". Yet in both places people are surprised when it's blowing a gale. And the rain? New Zealand is famously green, like Ireland and Britain. The common them between all 3 places, which the locals don't seem to get, is that for plants to be green they need water, and they get that water from rain. So why be surprised when it rains?
The Kiwis are like the Brits I'm afraid. They have deluded themself into believing they live in a semi-tropical paradise and any other weather pattern is a temporary aberration.
And given it's weather is so like the UK, why do so many Brits choose to emigrate there? It's miles from anywhere and has exactly the same weather. The cities are not as big and not as interesting (is there anywhere else to drink and eat in Auckland apart from the viaduct?) and you can't pop to the South of France for some sun when the remorseless rain and wind start to get you down.
And a final thought on NZ - someone should tell the Kiwis that dreadlocks only look cool if you're a 6 foot 3 Maori playing for the All Blacks with a name like Tana Umaga (and even then it's a close thing). They do NOT look cool if you are on average (from all the creadlocked people I saw) a 5 foot 8, white, chubby (or in a lot of cases, fat) bloke who has clearly done no exercise for several years.
Having said all of that.....
I'm going back next year for the Lions tour.... got the "client meetings" lined up already!
On this trip I spent 4 very pleasant days in New Zealand. On my last one I spent 5 similar days. In general I like New Zealand. The people are friendly (unless you ask them who won the rugby World Cup in an english accent, then they suddenly become all excitable), the beer is cold, the pace of life is gentle, the seafood is excellent.
BUT (and it's a big but), what is it about the weather? Last time I was there was Novemeber 02, so late spring. This time was mid-Feb, so in theory the height of summer. Both times it has been on the cold side if fresh, raining and windy. And yet both times, in both Auckland and Weelington, the locals have assured me that "it's not usually like this" and "it's unseasonally cold / wet / windy".
Auckland markets itself as "The City of Sails" - for sails to work you need wind! and Wellington is referred to, even by Wellingtonians (if that's correct), as "The Windy City". Yet in both places people are surprised when it's blowing a gale. And the rain? New Zealand is famously green, like Ireland and Britain. The common them between all 3 places, which the locals don't seem to get, is that for plants to be green they need water, and they get that water from rain. So why be surprised when it rains?
The Kiwis are like the Brits I'm afraid. They have deluded themself into believing they live in a semi-tropical paradise and any other weather pattern is a temporary aberration.
And given it's weather is so like the UK, why do so many Brits choose to emigrate there? It's miles from anywhere and has exactly the same weather. The cities are not as big and not as interesting (is there anywhere else to drink and eat in Auckland apart from the viaduct?) and you can't pop to the South of France for some sun when the remorseless rain and wind start to get you down.
And a final thought on NZ - someone should tell the Kiwis that dreadlocks only look cool if you're a 6 foot 3 Maori playing for the All Blacks with a name like Tana Umaga (and even then it's a close thing). They do NOT look cool if you are on average (from all the creadlocked people I saw) a 5 foot 8, white, chubby (or in a lot of cases, fat) bloke who has clearly done no exercise for several years.
Having said all of that.....
I'm going back next year for the Lions tour.... got the "client meetings" lined up already!
THE CHARIOTEER RETURNS... (if anyone cares)
Finally I'm back from my tour of New Zealand and Australia. I visited Auckland, Wellington, Auckland again (for the weekend), Sydney, Melbourne, Hobart (!) and back to Sydney. I am ploughing through a few hundred emails and will post a few thoughts on both places a bit later....
Finally I'm back from my tour of New Zealand and Australia. I visited Auckland, Wellington, Auckland again (for the weekend), Sydney, Melbourne, Hobart (!) and back to Sydney. I am ploughing through a few hundred emails and will post a few thoughts on both places a bit later....