THE MOTORING SECTION An occasional series of rants about appalling Hong Kong driving and drivers

The Porsche Cayenne Turbo.

Porsche's latest offering is a 4-wheel-drive off-roader called the Porsche Cayenne. There are 2 models - the Cayenne S and the Cayenne Turbo. Obviously being Hong Kong most people will buy the Cayenne Turbo as it is the most expensive model and therefore the one to have, irrespective of whether you actually need it.

The Porsche website reveals this is a truly impressive machine (if ugly as sin). It has a 4.5 litre V8 engine with 2 turbos stuck on the end to generate more than 450bhp (331 kW in modern speak). It will do 0-100kmh in 5.6 seconds and has a top speed of 266 kmh. It has Porsche Traction Management and Porschce Stability Management software on board, and even raises and lowers itself depending on your speed and the road conditions to ensure optimum grip and performance.

I would therefore like to ask the git who was driving a dark silver one down Magazine Gap Road over the weekend why he was doing 25 kmh the whole way and approaching every corner so gingerly he clearly thought he was driving a teflon-coated taboggan down an ice sheet. I was in a hurry (I was late for a football match I was playing in - shouldn't have bothered - we lost 5-1) and got stuck behind this idiot the whole way down. I was so angry I forgot to write down the reg number but next time I see you I shall take note and you will be named and shamed. You have been warned.