BACK TO AN EASY TARGET - AMERICANS
Got these this on email yesterday from a colleague regarding our friends the americans and their love of resorting to the legal system for the least little provocation. I know most of these are probably false, but thought they were worth sharing with anyone who cares.
The Stella Awards
It's time once again to review the winners of the annual "Stella Awards." The
Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on
herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards
for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.
The following are this year's winners:
5th Place (tie):
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside
a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at
the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms.Robertson's
son.
5th Place (tie):
A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when
his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently
didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to
steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
5th Place (tie):
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just
finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door
to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't
re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked
when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found
himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi
he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance
claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the
tune of $500,000.
4th Place:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's eagle.
The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was
less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little
provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a
pellet gun.
3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx
(tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at
her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
2nd Place:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night
club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor
and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton
was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying
the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place:
This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first
trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, he set
the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the
back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the
freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising
him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded
him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their
manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete
morons buying their recreation vehicles.
