SPORT

A huge victory for England yesterday in the cricket, breaking the record for the highest 4th innings run chase at Old Trafford in the process. England cruised home despite an early wobble which saw them at 29-2 at one stage. England have now won three consecutive series against the West Indies, and 10 of their last 11 tests. Bring on the Aussies…

Which brings me neatly to the Olympics. The Aussies here are all excited because some Aussie freak-of-nature, with arms as long as your average gorilla and the looks to match, has managed to swim up and down a pool faster than some Dutchman and some American I’ve never heard of before. They are trying desperately to whip everyone into a frenzy of jealousy here but Genghis, Attila and I are serene and calm because WE DON’T CARE. In fact, NO-ONE CARES!

We have seen through the Aussie tactics and now realize that they are so desperate to get up the medal rankings that they have opted to specialize in a “sport” that no-one else, anywhere in the world, gives a rat’s arse about.

And the fact that so few people care means that this Thorpe bloke is able to enter about 19 events, so their freak-of-nature will be able to rack up a good few golds and boost them up the standings. How many track athletes are entered for as many events? None. In track most guys get maybe 2 events if they’re lucky, with the really gifted getting maybe 3 or 4 if they’re able to enter say 100m, 200m and relays. Not exactly the same as swimming is it boys where there are about 19 different strokes styles but all over roughly the same distance so the same guy can enter loads of “different” events.

Australia’s claim to global sporting domination this Olympics seems to me to be based on 1 guy with long arms. Let’s see how loud they’re shouting next week when the track takes over and the Americans make the Aussies look like they’re running backwards.