JOHN KERRY

At the risk of sounding like I support Dubbya, and I can assure you I don't - he's the biggest muppet ever to hold high office anywhere in the world, John Kerry's lresponse, to a question asking him what he would have done if it was him who had received news that planes had crashed into the World Trade Center, that he would have left the function he was attending immediately and not have waited is total crap.

How does he (or we) know what he would have done?

All he knows is what Bush did and he is bound to say the opposite as he has the benefit of hindsight and knows Bush's reaction has been widely criticised (for the record Dubya waited 5 to 7 minutes to finish a reading he was doing with school-children before leaving. It is not clear though who was reading for who as they were 7 year olds and therefore were probably ahead of the President in reading skills).

For all we know Kerry might have burst into tears and sobbed like a "girlie-man" ,to borrow a line from the Governor of California, or refused to believe it, or spent even longer with the children, or hid under a table, or awarded himself a purple heart for being in charge while America was attacked, the list of possibilities is endless.

The only certainty is neither he, nor we can know what he would have done, and anything he says otherwise on this question is complete bollocks.