DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SETS. NORMAL SERVICE WILL BE RESUMED SHORTLY
Owing to totally foreseen circumstances, blogging will be light to non-existent over the next few days while the charioteer adjusts to the arrival this morning of No.1 Daughter to complement No.1 Son.
Friday, August 27, 2004
MEN ARE FROM MARS. GOD KNOWS WHERE WOMEN ARE FROM.
I know that in the caring, sharing noughties we’re all supposed to be equal but let’s face it, we’re not. And nowhere is this shown more sharply than in the difference between the sexes.
Two incidents over lunch have just driven this home.
First I popped into the local Wellcome for a few staples. I did my usual sprint round the aisles, grabbed what I needed (nothing more, nothing less) dodged the aimlessly wandering females and headed to the check-out. Now when a man gets close to the front of the check-out queue he is generally aware that at some point in the near future he is likely to be required to pay for something, so there I am, second in line, with my wallet in my hand, my debit/EPS card already poking out the top for easy access, and what cash I have easily to hand ready to make the payment expected of me (I have to have both out because obviously I have no idea how much things cost. I never ever look. I buy something because I need it. Within reason the cost is irrelevant. In this I believe I am like all men.). So there I am . Ready to pay and get out of the shop and out of everyone’s way as quickly as possible
In front of me is a woman. She has a basket overloaded with goodies. While this woman stares into the air with a detached look on her face. The woman behind the check-out is using her beeping scanner thing (stop me if I’m getting too technical) to check all the items through and then at the end, inevitably, says something along the lines of “that’ll be HK$500 please”. We then have a scene I have seen a thousand times. The woman looks surprised, then confused, then perplexed. Then she grabs at her handbag and starts ferreting around inside. Finally she locates her purse. Then she can’t get it open. Finally she remembers the calsp that has been there for the whole 10 years she’s owned it and abracadabra. Then she asks how much the bill was, because she has the memory of a goldfish. Then she counts her cash. Not enough. Inevitably. Go for the card you might think? No. She asks again. Perhaps the amount required has been magically reduced? Sadly not. Perhaps she does have enough cash after all. She counts it again. No. None of it has reproduced in the last few seconds and she’s still short (of cash I mean). So what’s next? A card obviously. But which card? There are millions in there. I have four and one of those I only carry because it’s a work card. The decision takes hours. Then there is the signing, the checking of the receipt. The sudden realization she has to now remove the items she has bought from the counter so the next person, i.e. me, can get to it. What a fiasco.
I have seen this happen all over the world and every time the person messing about is a woman. It has never, ever, been a man., anywhere, ever. Why? How? Women do most of the shopping on this planet so you’d think they would have things fairly organized when it comes to paying, but apparently not. Men however can be in and out of a shop in seconds, including having paid.
My next stop was then the bank. After doing my business there, so to speak, I thought I’d stock up on cash for the weekend so I join the ATM queue. The person in front of me is a woman. Her we go again I thought, and we did. She gets to the machine. Open bag, find purse, open purse, find card, find bit of paper with PIN number on it, glance suspiciously over shoulder at curiously red-faced gweilo male who is muttering to himself and waving a carton of milk in a threatening manner, put card into machine and enter PIN number (hand and bag covering keypad during this operation despite the little piece of paper with the number on it being clearly visible – 7631 for those that care (Citibank ATM’s only use 4 digits) – and then finally we’re under way. This part is pretty quick. Money? Yes. Amount? $XXX. Want anything else? No. Excellent. Card comes out. Money comes out.
At this point a man would simply stick both in his pocket and walk away and sort it out later, or at a pinch have his wallet already in his hand and open and put the various components in their respective compartments in a matter of nano-seconds and walk away.
But not a woman. Oh no. That would be far too easy. For some reason this woman has put her purse back into her bag. This means she now has to open the bag, find the purse, remove the purse, open the purse, find the right compartment and put the card and money into the right spots. Of course she can only do this right in front of the machine so that no-one else can get close to it. If only she knew how close she was to being maimed and crippled for life by a gweilo armed only with a pint of milk and a loaf of bread.
COME ON LADIES. IT'S NOT THAT DIFFICULT TO THINK AHEAD A LITTLE. SHOPPING REQUIRES PAYMENT. CASHPOINTS REQUIRE PURSES/WALLETS. THINK ABOUT IT.
I know that in the caring, sharing noughties we’re all supposed to be equal but let’s face it, we’re not. And nowhere is this shown more sharply than in the difference between the sexes.
Two incidents over lunch have just driven this home.
First I popped into the local Wellcome for a few staples. I did my usual sprint round the aisles, grabbed what I needed (nothing more, nothing less) dodged the aimlessly wandering females and headed to the check-out. Now when a man gets close to the front of the check-out queue he is generally aware that at some point in the near future he is likely to be required to pay for something, so there I am, second in line, with my wallet in my hand, my debit/EPS card already poking out the top for easy access, and what cash I have easily to hand ready to make the payment expected of me (I have to have both out because obviously I have no idea how much things cost. I never ever look. I buy something because I need it. Within reason the cost is irrelevant. In this I believe I am like all men.). So there I am . Ready to pay and get out of the shop and out of everyone’s way as quickly as possible
In front of me is a woman. She has a basket overloaded with goodies. While this woman stares into the air with a detached look on her face. The woman behind the check-out is using her beeping scanner thing (stop me if I’m getting too technical) to check all the items through and then at the end, inevitably, says something along the lines of “that’ll be HK$500 please”. We then have a scene I have seen a thousand times. The woman looks surprised, then confused, then perplexed. Then she grabs at her handbag and starts ferreting around inside. Finally she locates her purse. Then she can’t get it open. Finally she remembers the calsp that has been there for the whole 10 years she’s owned it and abracadabra. Then she asks how much the bill was, because she has the memory of a goldfish. Then she counts her cash. Not enough. Inevitably. Go for the card you might think? No. She asks again. Perhaps the amount required has been magically reduced? Sadly not. Perhaps she does have enough cash after all. She counts it again. No. None of it has reproduced in the last few seconds and she’s still short (of cash I mean). So what’s next? A card obviously. But which card? There are millions in there. I have four and one of those I only carry because it’s a work card. The decision takes hours. Then there is the signing, the checking of the receipt. The sudden realization she has to now remove the items she has bought from the counter so the next person, i.e. me, can get to it. What a fiasco.
I have seen this happen all over the world and every time the person messing about is a woman. It has never, ever, been a man., anywhere, ever. Why? How? Women do most of the shopping on this planet so you’d think they would have things fairly organized when it comes to paying, but apparently not. Men however can be in and out of a shop in seconds, including having paid.
My next stop was then the bank. After doing my business there, so to speak, I thought I’d stock up on cash for the weekend so I join the ATM queue. The person in front of me is a woman. Her we go again I thought, and we did. She gets to the machine. Open bag, find purse, open purse, find card, find bit of paper with PIN number on it, glance suspiciously over shoulder at curiously red-faced gweilo male who is muttering to himself and waving a carton of milk in a threatening manner, put card into machine and enter PIN number (hand and bag covering keypad during this operation despite the little piece of paper with the number on it being clearly visible – 7631 for those that care (Citibank ATM’s only use 4 digits) – and then finally we’re under way. This part is pretty quick. Money? Yes. Amount? $XXX. Want anything else? No. Excellent. Card comes out. Money comes out.
At this point a man would simply stick both in his pocket and walk away and sort it out later, or at a pinch have his wallet already in his hand and open and put the various components in their respective compartments in a matter of nano-seconds and walk away.
But not a woman. Oh no. That would be far too easy. For some reason this woman has put her purse back into her bag. This means she now has to open the bag, find the purse, remove the purse, open the purse, find the right compartment and put the card and money into the right spots. Of course she can only do this right in front of the machine so that no-one else can get close to it. If only she knew how close she was to being maimed and crippled for life by a gweilo armed only with a pint of milk and a loaf of bread.
COME ON LADIES. IT'S NOT THAT DIFFICULT TO THINK AHEAD A LITTLE. SHOPPING REQUIRES PAYMENT. CASHPOINTS REQUIRE PURSES/WALLETS. THINK ABOUT IT.
OLYMPICS ROUND-UP
Triathlon. Men’s. Congratulations to the improbably named Hamish Carter (his parents didn’t like him I guess). He hails from New Zealand where it rains a lot, most of the cars are old and unreliable and public transport is non-existent, so I suppose it was only logical that when it comes to swimming, cycling and running a Kiwi would be good. To prove my point another Kiwi, whose parents also didn’t like him, by the name of Bevan Doherty came second. Sven Riederer from Switzerland came third. Clearly there is something about countries with mountains that leads to a natural ability in this “sport” (the women’s winner was Austrian). This strikes me as odd. Surely places like the Netherlands, with nice big flat areas for running and cycling and lots of water for swimming would be the natural habitiat for the people?
Greco-Roman Wrestling. It appears that Wednesday was not finals day as there were plenty more games / matches / bouts / rounds / chukkas / whatever they’re called. Still no wiser as to who has won what (if indeed anyone has won anything yet) but there is still a conspicuous lack of Greeks or Romans among the participants. Actually rereading the “results” it is possible that the following may have won something - a Korean Man by the name of Ji Hyun Jong, an Azeri by the name of Farid Mansurov, a Russian called Alexei Michine, an Egyptian by the name of Karam Ibrahim and another Russian by the name of Khasan Baroev - but then again they may not. It’s hard to tell. Definitely no Greeks or Romans though.
Track. Men’s 200m. Finally some entertainment. Not the race itself, which was won by an American, with an American second and an American third (this result just goes to prove my theory that Americas remarkable gun laws means everyone there learns to run fast at an early age), but the fact that the race started 5 minutes late because of a crowd protest over the absence of local Greek hero and walking pharmacy Kostas Kenteris who withdrew from the games when he realize he might have to take dope tests. The crowd protests and booing afterwards of the Americans where, I’m sure, much more entertaining that the race itself (I didn’t bother to watch it myself as I was other occupied sleeping).
Track. Men’s 400m hurdles. Won by a Dominican. Again proof of my theory that this sort of fence-jumping is dominated by countries which have yet to invent the gate.
Men’s Long Jump. Not sure if this qualifies as “Track” or “Field”, and certainly not interested enough to find out. An American called Dwight leapt further along the sand-pit than all the other competitors. Unfortunately, owing to an unforeseen clash in the scheduling, in so doing he landed on the then Gold Medal placed entry in the Mixed Individual Team Keirin Madison Greco-Roman Synchronised 4x100 Sand Castle Building Competition, resulting in the cancellatiuon of the entire event. This was unfortunate as the event was lead by The Maldives (they have nothing else to do there) at the time and this was their only realisitic chance of a medal in the Games.
Diving. Men’s 3m Springboard. A very camp looking Chinese guy fell into the pool and made less splash than another camp looking Chinese guy. A camp looking Russian was 3rd.
Diving. Women’s 3m Springboard. Ditto men’s except without the camp bit. China, China, Russia. At least with diving there is little chance of doping among the competitors, though I suspect it is rampant amongst the spectators otherwise why would you watch it?
Football. Women’s. Hang on. What’s this? 2 teams? a ball? tactics? a half-time? a risk of injury? Could this actually be a sport? In the Olympics? Alert the press immediately.
Defending Champions the USA beat Brazil 2-1 in the final. I didn’t see the game (I’d rather watch paint dry than the average football match, though I might make an exception for the Brazilian Women’s team, purely to study form you understand) but I will concede this is a sport. The y must have let it in by mistake after a particularly long lunch at Olympics HQ.
Hockey. Women’s. Hold the presses. Another Sport? What were they thinking? And in this one combatants are given weapons and a rock hard ball to play with too. Excellent. Hot favourites The Dutch lost to a ruthlessly efficient German team (I didn’t see the game but it’s safe to assume any German team is ruthlessly efficient). No reports on injuries sadly.
Modern Pentathlon. Men’s Individual. Back in la-la-land again a Russian turns out to be better at a combo of shooting, fencing, swimming, horse-riding and running than a Lithuanian and a Czech. Who on earth dreamt up that combo? Why? Whoever he is he should be dope-tested immediately.
Sailing. Mixed 49er. Perhaps if they made it Mixed 69er they’d generate more interest? I actually do sail myself but lets be honest here, any “sport” you can do with a beer in one hand isn’t really a sport is it, even if it is a civilized way to spend an afternoon. Anyway the Spaniards won this one, followed home by Ukraine and then the no-doubt plucky Brits who were cruelly robbed by the referee / cheating foreigners / funny foreign food / timekeeper / funny foreign water (pick any number of the above) and did not come 3rd because they were not the best there. Clearly that couldn’t be the case.
Taekwondo. The results of this are right up there with Greco-Roman wrestling in terms of clarity. I think a Taiwanese woman won the Women’s under 49kg category, and another Taiwanese won the Men’s under 58kg category, although I may well be wrong. Certainly seems the Taiwanese are good at this though. That must piss the Koreans off. They only got it in so they could guarantee a few medals.
Water-Polo. Women’s. I thought this was up there with windsurfing as a the kind of thing that people only did on a Club Med holidays? Anyway given the final was Italy v Greece and therefore there were probably some extraordinarily hairy armpits and upper lips on display I’m glad I missed this. For those that care the Italians won by drowning 10 Greeks, while the Greeks only managed to drown 9 Italians. Or are those goals scored?
Weightlifiting. Men’s 94-105kg category. Is this still going? I thought this was all finished but sadly not. Russia, Hungary Ukraine in that order for those that are concerned. That is in order of finishing but be prepared for all 3 to be disqualified.
Triathlon. Men’s. Congratulations to the improbably named Hamish Carter (his parents didn’t like him I guess). He hails from New Zealand where it rains a lot, most of the cars are old and unreliable and public transport is non-existent, so I suppose it was only logical that when it comes to swimming, cycling and running a Kiwi would be good. To prove my point another Kiwi, whose parents also didn’t like him, by the name of Bevan Doherty came second. Sven Riederer from Switzerland came third. Clearly there is something about countries with mountains that leads to a natural ability in this “sport” (the women’s winner was Austrian). This strikes me as odd. Surely places like the Netherlands, with nice big flat areas for running and cycling and lots of water for swimming would be the natural habitiat for the people?
Greco-Roman Wrestling. It appears that Wednesday was not finals day as there were plenty more games / matches / bouts / rounds / chukkas / whatever they’re called. Still no wiser as to who has won what (if indeed anyone has won anything yet) but there is still a conspicuous lack of Greeks or Romans among the participants. Actually rereading the “results” it is possible that the following may have won something - a Korean Man by the name of Ji Hyun Jong, an Azeri by the name of Farid Mansurov, a Russian called Alexei Michine, an Egyptian by the name of Karam Ibrahim and another Russian by the name of Khasan Baroev - but then again they may not. It’s hard to tell. Definitely no Greeks or Romans though.
Track. Men’s 200m. Finally some entertainment. Not the race itself, which was won by an American, with an American second and an American third (this result just goes to prove my theory that Americas remarkable gun laws means everyone there learns to run fast at an early age), but the fact that the race started 5 minutes late because of a crowd protest over the absence of local Greek hero and walking pharmacy Kostas Kenteris who withdrew from the games when he realize he might have to take dope tests. The crowd protests and booing afterwards of the Americans where, I’m sure, much more entertaining that the race itself (I didn’t bother to watch it myself as I was other occupied sleeping).
Track. Men’s 400m hurdles. Won by a Dominican. Again proof of my theory that this sort of fence-jumping is dominated by countries which have yet to invent the gate.
Men’s Long Jump. Not sure if this qualifies as “Track” or “Field”, and certainly not interested enough to find out. An American called Dwight leapt further along the sand-pit than all the other competitors. Unfortunately, owing to an unforeseen clash in the scheduling, in so doing he landed on the then Gold Medal placed entry in the Mixed Individual Team Keirin Madison Greco-Roman Synchronised 4x100 Sand Castle Building Competition, resulting in the cancellatiuon of the entire event. This was unfortunate as the event was lead by The Maldives (they have nothing else to do there) at the time and this was their only realisitic chance of a medal in the Games.
Diving. Men’s 3m Springboard. A very camp looking Chinese guy fell into the pool and made less splash than another camp looking Chinese guy. A camp looking Russian was 3rd.
Diving. Women’s 3m Springboard. Ditto men’s except without the camp bit. China, China, Russia. At least with diving there is little chance of doping among the competitors, though I suspect it is rampant amongst the spectators otherwise why would you watch it?
Football. Women’s. Hang on. What’s this? 2 teams? a ball? tactics? a half-time? a risk of injury? Could this actually be a sport? In the Olympics? Alert the press immediately.
Defending Champions the USA beat Brazil 2-1 in the final. I didn’t see the game (I’d rather watch paint dry than the average football match, though I might make an exception for the Brazilian Women’s team, purely to study form you understand) but I will concede this is a sport. The y must have let it in by mistake after a particularly long lunch at Olympics HQ.
Hockey. Women’s. Hold the presses. Another Sport? What were they thinking? And in this one combatants are given weapons and a rock hard ball to play with too. Excellent. Hot favourites The Dutch lost to a ruthlessly efficient German team (I didn’t see the game but it’s safe to assume any German team is ruthlessly efficient). No reports on injuries sadly.
Modern Pentathlon. Men’s Individual. Back in la-la-land again a Russian turns out to be better at a combo of shooting, fencing, swimming, horse-riding and running than a Lithuanian and a Czech. Who on earth dreamt up that combo? Why? Whoever he is he should be dope-tested immediately.
Sailing. Mixed 49er. Perhaps if they made it Mixed 69er they’d generate more interest? I actually do sail myself but lets be honest here, any “sport” you can do with a beer in one hand isn’t really a sport is it, even if it is a civilized way to spend an afternoon. Anyway the Spaniards won this one, followed home by Ukraine and then the no-doubt plucky Brits who were cruelly robbed by the referee / cheating foreigners / funny foreign food / timekeeper / funny foreign water (pick any number of the above) and did not come 3rd because they were not the best there. Clearly that couldn’t be the case.
Taekwondo. The results of this are right up there with Greco-Roman wrestling in terms of clarity. I think a Taiwanese woman won the Women’s under 49kg category, and another Taiwanese won the Men’s under 58kg category, although I may well be wrong. Certainly seems the Taiwanese are good at this though. That must piss the Koreans off. They only got it in so they could guarantee a few medals.
Water-Polo. Women’s. I thought this was up there with windsurfing as a the kind of thing that people only did on a Club Med holidays? Anyway given the final was Italy v Greece and therefore there were probably some extraordinarily hairy armpits and upper lips on display I’m glad I missed this. For those that care the Italians won by drowning 10 Greeks, while the Greeks only managed to drown 9 Italians. Or are those goals scored?
Weightlifiting. Men’s 94-105kg category. Is this still going? I thought this was all finished but sadly not. Russia, Hungary Ukraine in that order for those that are concerned. That is in order of finishing but be prepared for all 3 to be disqualified.
Thursday, August 26, 2004
THE MOTORING SECTION
Not saabs or taxi driver deficencies for once, but the humble, average, usually slightly clapped-out japanese saloon.
I have noticed that amongst the youth of HK there is a predeliction for modifying these glorified death-traps by sticking a large exhaust on the back, lowering the suspension, fitting a Momo racing sterring wheel and hanging the Chinese equivalent of furry dice of the rear-view mirror. Sadly these hunks-o-junk are still powered by very tired little 4-cylinder engines with about as much get-up-and-go as an asthmatic pit pony.
To complete the look they then add the letters TRD to the back of the their pride and joy. This is supposed to stand for Toyota Racing Development apparently.
I think they decided that adding "Urban" and so having the letters T.U.R.D. emblazoned across the back of their trusty and rusty chariots might be a bit close to the truth.
Not saabs or taxi driver deficencies for once, but the humble, average, usually slightly clapped-out japanese saloon.
I have noticed that amongst the youth of HK there is a predeliction for modifying these glorified death-traps by sticking a large exhaust on the back, lowering the suspension, fitting a Momo racing sterring wheel and hanging the Chinese equivalent of furry dice of the rear-view mirror. Sadly these hunks-o-junk are still powered by very tired little 4-cylinder engines with about as much get-up-and-go as an asthmatic pit pony.
To complete the look they then add the letters TRD to the back of the their pride and joy. This is supposed to stand for Toyota Racing Development apparently.
I think they decided that adding "Urban" and so having the letters T.U.R.D. emblazoned across the back of their trusty and rusty chariots might be a bit close to the truth.
OLYMPICS ROUND-UP
I know that for some reason some people seem to care about the Olympics so, as the finals reach a crescendo, I thought as a service to readers I would provide a round-up of results for these final few days.
Women’s Hammer-throw. Some huge ugly Russian woman on steroids threw a metal ball attached to a chain (since when is that a hammer?) further than some huge ugly Cuban woman on steroids
Women’s 200m - a Jamaican woman ran 200m quicker than the other 7 women running 200m
Baseball - Cuba beat Australia at rounders last night. Afterwards everyone had a nice picnic and paddled in a stream, like kids do after a game of rounders. The Americans are still World Series champions.
Women’s 400m Hurdles. A Greek woman jumped over fences for no reason when she could have gone round them faster than a Romanian and a Ukrainian. Perhaps these countries have yet to discover the gate and that's why they're good at jumping over fences?
Cycling. Men’s Keirin (whatever that is). An Australian went pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal while going round and round and round and round and round quicker (or maybe slower - who knows, or cares) than a Spaniard. That must be hard. Beating a Spaniard.
Cycling. Men’s Madison (whatever that is). Again some Australians went pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal while going round and round and round and round and round quicker than other people. This time they beat some Swiss guys. What is it about Aussies and cycling? Can’t they afford cars in Australia?
Cycling (I think). Women’s point race. Russia won this one. No idea at all what it is or why they did it.
Equestrian Dressage. Mixed individual (that doesn’t seem possible). A Dutch person (not sure if male or female – first name is “Anky” if that helps anyone) managed to not fall of his/her horse for quite a long time and in the process won this competition with 79.278 points. Well done. I don’t know what the maximum possible is sadly so don’t know if that is good or bad.
Men’s windsurfing. Mistral Board. A first gold for Israel after 50-odd years of competition. Well done to Gal Fridman who clearly spends too much time on holiday (after all that’s the only time anyone ever tries windsurfing) and couldn’t afford a boat.
Women’s windurfing. Mistral Board. The plucky and heroic Hong Konger Lee Lai Shan (aka San San) was beaten out of the medals by the evil threesome of Faustine Merret, Jian Yin (from the glorious motherland) and Alessandra Sensini. All of them plan to get involved in proper sailing as soon as they can afford boats.
Synchronised Swimming – Women’s Duet. Yes it is real. Yes it is an Olympic event. No I am not going to dignify it by pretending it is any form of sport. No I am not going to tell you the result. I don’t want to give this waste of time any more free advertising than it deserves – i.e none.
Triathlon. Women’s. Well done Kate Allen the Australian born Austrian who beat Loretta Harrop, the Australian born Australian into second place. If you ever need someone to swim a long way, then cycle somewhere quickly and finish off by running a few kms then Kate’s your girl.
Weightlifting. Men’s over 105kg. Hossein Reza Zxadeh from Iran has successfully managed to conceal more steroids from the dope testers than either Viktos Scerbatihs from Latvia or Velichko Cholakov of Bulgaria. As soon as these godforsaken places discover fork-lift trucks this “sport” has to die surely?
Greco-Roman wrestling. Men’s. All categories. I can’t make head or tail of the “results” of this. I’m not sure if the finals were decided or not. I can say however that no Greeks or Romans seemed to do very well, which is odd.
I know that for some reason some people seem to care about the Olympics so, as the finals reach a crescendo, I thought as a service to readers I would provide a round-up of results for these final few days.
Women’s Hammer-throw. Some huge ugly Russian woman on steroids threw a metal ball attached to a chain (since when is that a hammer?) further than some huge ugly Cuban woman on steroids
Women’s 200m - a Jamaican woman ran 200m quicker than the other 7 women running 200m
Baseball - Cuba beat Australia at rounders last night. Afterwards everyone had a nice picnic and paddled in a stream, like kids do after a game of rounders. The Americans are still World Series champions.
Women’s 400m Hurdles. A Greek woman jumped over fences for no reason when she could have gone round them faster than a Romanian and a Ukrainian. Perhaps these countries have yet to discover the gate and that's why they're good at jumping over fences?
Cycling. Men’s Keirin (whatever that is). An Australian went pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal while going round and round and round and round and round quicker (or maybe slower - who knows, or cares) than a Spaniard. That must be hard. Beating a Spaniard.
Cycling. Men’s Madison (whatever that is). Again some Australians went pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal while going round and round and round and round and round quicker than other people. This time they beat some Swiss guys. What is it about Aussies and cycling? Can’t they afford cars in Australia?
Cycling (I think). Women’s point race. Russia won this one. No idea at all what it is or why they did it.
Equestrian Dressage. Mixed individual (that doesn’t seem possible). A Dutch person (not sure if male or female – first name is “Anky” if that helps anyone) managed to not fall of his/her horse for quite a long time and in the process won this competition with 79.278 points. Well done. I don’t know what the maximum possible is sadly so don’t know if that is good or bad.
Men’s windsurfing. Mistral Board. A first gold for Israel after 50-odd years of competition. Well done to Gal Fridman who clearly spends too much time on holiday (after all that’s the only time anyone ever tries windsurfing) and couldn’t afford a boat.
Women’s windurfing. Mistral Board. The plucky and heroic Hong Konger Lee Lai Shan (aka San San) was beaten out of the medals by the evil threesome of Faustine Merret, Jian Yin (from the glorious motherland) and Alessandra Sensini. All of them plan to get involved in proper sailing as soon as they can afford boats.
Synchronised Swimming – Women’s Duet. Yes it is real. Yes it is an Olympic event. No I am not going to dignify it by pretending it is any form of sport. No I am not going to tell you the result. I don’t want to give this waste of time any more free advertising than it deserves – i.e none.
Triathlon. Women’s. Well done Kate Allen the Australian born Austrian who beat Loretta Harrop, the Australian born Australian into second place. If you ever need someone to swim a long way, then cycle somewhere quickly and finish off by running a few kms then Kate’s your girl.
Weightlifting. Men’s over 105kg. Hossein Reza Zxadeh from Iran has successfully managed to conceal more steroids from the dope testers than either Viktos Scerbatihs from Latvia or Velichko Cholakov of Bulgaria. As soon as these godforsaken places discover fork-lift trucks this “sport” has to die surely?
Greco-Roman wrestling. Men’s. All categories. I can’t make head or tail of the “results” of this. I’m not sure if the finals were decided or not. I can say however that no Greeks or Romans seemed to do very well, which is odd.
SPORT AND LIFESTYLE
I doubt anyone really cares but some may remember that I mentioned that the run up to the cracking Tri-Nations finale last weekend was given added spice by the presence in the Australian lineup of Clyde Rathbone, who previously captained the South African under 21 side to victory in the under-21 World Cup. He had made a "lifestyle" choice to move to Australia, like millions of other South Africans but was still pilloried in the local South African media as a "traitor".
I think this however rather justifies his decision...
Australia winger Clyde Rathbone's mother was in hospital after being attacked by intruders in her home near Durban on Wednesday, her husband said.
Alan Rathbone said his wife, Glynis, broke five ribs, fractured her hand and suffered lacerations to her foot.
Rathbone said the couple's 13-year-old son awoke at around 3am (1000 AEST) on Wednesday to find intruders in his bedroom in the family's first-floor flat in Warner Beach, south of Durban.
"Luke woke up and thought he saw a head pop up at the foot of his bed," Alan Rathbone told Reuters.
"He screamed, and my wife woke up, grabbed my firearm from under the mattress, and ran towards Luke's room.
"When I got there, there were three guys in our flat and Glynis was being dragged over the balcony.
"They were scrambling to get away, and she must have been trying to hold on to them."
Rathbone said the burglars released his wife before escaping over the balcony.
"She was just lying there," he said. "I thought she was dead."
Glynis Rathbone was recovering in hospital after surgery, her husband said.
A mobile phone and clothing were missing from the flat, although the clothing was later recovered.
Wallabies winger Rathbone was born and raised in Durban, and captained South Africa at the 2002 under-21 World Cup before deciding to further his career in Australia.
Rathbone played in the Australian team that was beaten 23-19 by South Africa in the deciding match of the Tri-nations tournament in Durban on Saturday.
He was the target of a sustained and hostile media focus in the days before the match.
A Durban newspaper, the Independent on Saturday, led its front page on Saturday with a report headlined "SA sucks - Clyde" in which Rathbone was quoted as saying in a Fox television interview, "When I'm away and my fiancée is in Canberra I don't have to worry about her ... whereas in South Africa, wherever she's going or wherever my brothers or my mother or any part of my family are you are constantly worried." (From the Sydney Morning Herald)
Now I love visiting South Africa. Mrs C's parents and her sister live outside Jo'burg, which has to have just about the best climate in the world, and we are regular visitors. The Cape, and Cape Town, is stunning, the food and wine in the nearby winelands of Stellenbosch, Franschoek and Paarl are world class, the safaris are great. The people are friendly (unless you start talking rugby with them) and all-in-all it's a great tourist destination.
But I'm afraid young Mr Rathbone made the right call, and if I were his parents I'd be on the next flight out.
I doubt anyone really cares but some may remember that I mentioned that the run up to the cracking Tri-Nations finale last weekend was given added spice by the presence in the Australian lineup of Clyde Rathbone, who previously captained the South African under 21 side to victory in the under-21 World Cup. He had made a "lifestyle" choice to move to Australia, like millions of other South Africans but was still pilloried in the local South African media as a "traitor".
I think this however rather justifies his decision...
Australia winger Clyde Rathbone's mother was in hospital after being attacked by intruders in her home near Durban on Wednesday, her husband said.
Alan Rathbone said his wife, Glynis, broke five ribs, fractured her hand and suffered lacerations to her foot.
Rathbone said the couple's 13-year-old son awoke at around 3am (1000 AEST) on Wednesday to find intruders in his bedroom in the family's first-floor flat in Warner Beach, south of Durban.
"Luke woke up and thought he saw a head pop up at the foot of his bed," Alan Rathbone told Reuters.
"He screamed, and my wife woke up, grabbed my firearm from under the mattress, and ran towards Luke's room.
"When I got there, there were three guys in our flat and Glynis was being dragged over the balcony.
"They were scrambling to get away, and she must have been trying to hold on to them."
Rathbone said the burglars released his wife before escaping over the balcony.
"She was just lying there," he said. "I thought she was dead."
Glynis Rathbone was recovering in hospital after surgery, her husband said.
A mobile phone and clothing were missing from the flat, although the clothing was later recovered.
Wallabies winger Rathbone was born and raised in Durban, and captained South Africa at the 2002 under-21 World Cup before deciding to further his career in Australia.
Rathbone played in the Australian team that was beaten 23-19 by South Africa in the deciding match of the Tri-nations tournament in Durban on Saturday.
He was the target of a sustained and hostile media focus in the days before the match.
A Durban newspaper, the Independent on Saturday, led its front page on Saturday with a report headlined "SA sucks - Clyde" in which Rathbone was quoted as saying in a Fox television interview, "When I'm away and my fiancée is in Canberra I don't have to worry about her ... whereas in South Africa, wherever she's going or wherever my brothers or my mother or any part of my family are you are constantly worried." (From the Sydney Morning Herald)
Now I love visiting South Africa. Mrs C's parents and her sister live outside Jo'burg, which has to have just about the best climate in the world, and we are regular visitors. The Cape, and Cape Town, is stunning, the food and wine in the nearby winelands of Stellenbosch, Franschoek and Paarl are world class, the safaris are great. The people are friendly (unless you start talking rugby with them) and all-in-all it's a great tourist destination.
But I'm afraid young Mr Rathbone made the right call, and if I were his parents I'd be on the next flight out.
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
THE WISDOM OF DAVID BRENT
Some thoughts on office culture and management philosophy you're unlikely to learn doing your expensive American MBA, but are nonetheless relevant to the real world.
Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
There may be no 'I' in team, but there's a 'ME' if you look hard enough.
What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then inWintertime he's got something to eat and he won't die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts.
When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.
You don't have to be mad to work here, in fact we ask you to complete a medical questionnaire to ensure that you are not.
If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess that you're trying to get them sacked.
If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back.
Worth bearing in mind I think.
(Thanks reader for those)
Some thoughts on office culture and management philosophy you're unlikely to learn doing your expensive American MBA, but are nonetheless relevant to the real world.
Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
There may be no 'I' in team, but there's a 'ME' if you look hard enough.
What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then inWintertime he's got something to eat and he won't die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts.
When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.
You don't have to be mad to work here, in fact we ask you to complete a medical questionnaire to ensure that you are not.
If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess that you're trying to get them sacked.
If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back.
Worth bearing in mind I think.
(Thanks reader for those)
OUR I.T. DEPARTMENT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING USELESS, BRAIN-DEAD, MORONIC WANKERS. THEIR SYSTEMS ARE COMPLETE FUCKING BOLLOCKS AND TOTALLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE TO EVEN THE P.C. LITERATE LET ALONE THE REST OF US.
WE EMPLOY MORE PROGRAMMERS THAN MICROSOFT YET THEIR COMBINED TALENTS ARE UNABLE TO TAKE A NUMBER FROM AN EXCEL SPREADSHEET AND DROP IT INTO ANOTHER SYSTEM OF THEIR OWN DESIGN.
HOW FUCKING HARD CAN THAT BE?
MY GRANDMOTHER CAN BUILD BETTER, MORE USER-FRIENDLY AND EASIER TO MODIFY/UPDATE SYSTEMS AND SHE'S BEEN DEAD FOR A YEAR.
Phew.
That feels better.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING USELESS, BRAIN-DEAD, MORONIC WANKERS. THEIR SYSTEMS ARE COMPLETE FUCKING BOLLOCKS AND TOTALLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE TO EVEN THE P.C. LITERATE LET ALONE THE REST OF US.
WE EMPLOY MORE PROGRAMMERS THAN MICROSOFT YET THEIR COMBINED TALENTS ARE UNABLE TO TAKE A NUMBER FROM AN EXCEL SPREADSHEET AND DROP IT INTO ANOTHER SYSTEM OF THEIR OWN DESIGN.
HOW FUCKING HARD CAN THAT BE?
MY GRANDMOTHER CAN BUILD BETTER, MORE USER-FRIENDLY AND EASIER TO MODIFY/UPDATE SYSTEMS AND SHE'S BEEN DEAD FOR A YEAR.
Phew.
That feels better.
THE LEGACIES OF DENG XIAOPING AND BRITISH IMPERIALISM
Over the last few days there has been lots of coverage in the press of the centenary of the birth of Deng XiaoPing. He is being hailed as the great reformer, who put China on the path towards capitalism and the huge economic growth that has got everyone all excited over the last few years. In Hong Kong the great and good are all lavishing praise upon him and generally toadying up to Beijing and the Chinese Communist Party in the most nauseating way imaginable. But before everyone gets too carried away, let's just have a look at where China stands.
According World Bank figures, at the end of 2004, average per capita income in China was $960 per annum. This puts them 86th on the list, just behind powerhouses such as Swaziland (77th - $1,240) and Gaza and the West Bank (81st - $1,110) and a long way behind leaders Norway (bet that surprised you!) at $38,730.
Hong Kong, meanwhile, is 8th on the list, at $24,690 per capita.
The evil British imperialists managed to turn the inhabitants of a small fishing village, with almost no natural resources, into the 8th richest people in the world. At the same time, the Chinese Communist Party managed to turn resource and labour rich China into a slum.
If that is where the great Chinese economic miracle, and the oft-repeated "5,000 years of Chinese culture" gets you, then you can keep it! The Brits may not have been the most enlightened colonial masters in the world but I think their legacy is one the rest of China wouldn't mind having.
Over the last few days there has been lots of coverage in the press of the centenary of the birth of Deng XiaoPing. He is being hailed as the great reformer, who put China on the path towards capitalism and the huge economic growth that has got everyone all excited over the last few years. In Hong Kong the great and good are all lavishing praise upon him and generally toadying up to Beijing and the Chinese Communist Party in the most nauseating way imaginable. But before everyone gets too carried away, let's just have a look at where China stands.
According World Bank figures, at the end of 2004, average per capita income in China was $960 per annum. This puts them 86th on the list, just behind powerhouses such as Swaziland (77th - $1,240) and Gaza and the West Bank (81st - $1,110) and a long way behind leaders Norway (bet that surprised you!) at $38,730.
Hong Kong, meanwhile, is 8th on the list, at $24,690 per capita.
The evil British imperialists managed to turn the inhabitants of a small fishing village, with almost no natural resources, into the 8th richest people in the world. At the same time, the Chinese Communist Party managed to turn resource and labour rich China into a slum.
If that is where the great Chinese economic miracle, and the oft-repeated "5,000 years of Chinese culture" gets you, then you can keep it! The Brits may not have been the most enlightened colonial masters in the world but I think their legacy is one the rest of China wouldn't mind having.
WORLD HEALTH ORGANISATION AT IT AGAIN...
Yes they're back with Bird-Flu. afraid that we had all forgotten them the WHO are now warning that the H5N1 virus has reappeared in Vietnam and that 3 people are reported to have died recently from it. Meanwhile in China reports that the virus has been found in pigs are being strenuously denied by Chinese Authorities (surprise surprise). The WHO, desperate to justify their own existence and importance, are claiming that if the virus is now found in pigs then that could lead to a global human flu pandemic.
Quite how is not clear, (they seem to think that somehow the Bird Flu and the Human Flu viruses are going to mate inside a pig to produce some form of super-virus but that sounds highly unlikly to me - for a start virusses don't mate) but that's not stopping them launching a few scare stories anyway.
Well done WHO.
Yes they're back with Bird-Flu. afraid that we had all forgotten them the WHO are now warning that the H5N1 virus has reappeared in Vietnam and that 3 people are reported to have died recently from it. Meanwhile in China reports that the virus has been found in pigs are being strenuously denied by Chinese Authorities (surprise surprise). The WHO, desperate to justify their own existence and importance, are claiming that if the virus is now found in pigs then that could lead to a global human flu pandemic.
Quite how is not clear, (they seem to think that somehow the Bird Flu and the Human Flu viruses are going to mate inside a pig to produce some form of super-virus but that sounds highly unlikly to me - for a start virusses don't mate) but that's not stopping them launching a few scare stories anyway.
Well done WHO.
Monday, August 23, 2004
Friday, August 20, 2004
OLYMPICS SUMMED UP BEATIFULLY
While I do enjoy proper sports some of you may have noticed my intense apathy towards the Olympic games. The worlds funniest blog sums up beautifully my feelings towards the games and the intense excitement they create in Australians in particular - "the demented fixated by the banal" - Hemlock where would we be without you?
While I do enjoy proper sports some of you may have noticed my intense apathy towards the Olympic games. The worlds funniest blog sums up beautifully my feelings towards the games and the intense excitement they create in Australians in particular - "the demented fixated by the banal" - Hemlock where would we be without you?
SPORT
So this weekend Durban will be resounding to cries of “Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie - Oy Oy Oy” and “Bokke, Bokke, Bokke….” as the final of the Tri-Nations arrives. Should be a cracking game as it’s a winner-takes-all scenario. There is an added note of rivalry as the Wallabies will be fielding Clyde Rathbone who last year has previously captained the South African under 21 team before switching allegiance this season to Australia. His arrival has prompted much frothing at the mouth in South Africa. Indeed to whip the already rabid crowd into more of a frenzy the South Africans have been running a series of ads showing Rathbone “being treated for facial wounds by our doctor, all that sort of
stuff” and generally getting mashed in various tackles. Eddie Jones, the Wallaby coach, came up with a nice riposte to that - ``The cheap and personal stuff doesn't surprise me. It will strengthen our resolve.'' – but the best is from Rathbone himself - ``It doesn't do much to change the view of a lot of foreigners about South Africans being narrow minded.” Miaow!!
All in all it should be a suitably bruising encounter with no holds barred, and more importantly no swimming pools, parallel bars, bows and arrows, guns, hurdles or any other evidence of the rubbish going on in Greece. It’ll just be two teams who don’t like each other, a ball, and a large piece of grass. The way sport should be.
BUT THAT’S NOT ALL FOR THIS FINE WEEKEND
The last test is on at the Oval with England going for a record equaling seventh straight victory. Day 2 is nicely set up for later today with England at 313 for 5 (or 5 for 313 if you’re Australian) and Flintoff on 72 not out. If they can put up over 400 as a 1st innings target then they’ll be in a fine position to complete their victory with only the English weather likely to intervene.
AND THERE’S MORE….
Finally this weekend the waiting is over. After the basketball rugby of the Super 12, and the admittedly superb rugby of the Tri-Nations which winds up this weekend, the Zurich Premiership gets under way in England with the mighty Tigers taking on Sale on Sunday. Hopefully, with no World Cup this season and Johnson and Back both having retired from international rugby so not going to be involved in the Six Nations, there will be much less disruption to the team this year and they can build on the fine end of season form they showed earlier this year to challenge for honours again.
If anyone needs me I'll be on the sofa with the remote control in my hand and the laptop close by.
Ere we go, ere we go, ere we gooooo…..
Ere we go, ere we go, ere we gooooo….
So this weekend Durban will be resounding to cries of “Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie - Oy Oy Oy” and “Bokke, Bokke, Bokke….” as the final of the Tri-Nations arrives. Should be a cracking game as it’s a winner-takes-all scenario. There is an added note of rivalry as the Wallabies will be fielding Clyde Rathbone who last year has previously captained the South African under 21 team before switching allegiance this season to Australia. His arrival has prompted much frothing at the mouth in South Africa. Indeed to whip the already rabid crowd into more of a frenzy the South Africans have been running a series of ads showing Rathbone “being treated for facial wounds by our doctor, all that sort of
stuff” and generally getting mashed in various tackles. Eddie Jones, the Wallaby coach, came up with a nice riposte to that - ``The cheap and personal stuff doesn't surprise me. It will strengthen our resolve.'' – but the best is from Rathbone himself - ``It doesn't do much to change the view of a lot of foreigners about South Africans being narrow minded.” Miaow!!
All in all it should be a suitably bruising encounter with no holds barred, and more importantly no swimming pools, parallel bars, bows and arrows, guns, hurdles or any other evidence of the rubbish going on in Greece. It’ll just be two teams who don’t like each other, a ball, and a large piece of grass. The way sport should be.
BUT THAT’S NOT ALL FOR THIS FINE WEEKEND
The last test is on at the Oval with England going for a record equaling seventh straight victory. Day 2 is nicely set up for later today with England at 313 for 5 (or 5 for 313 if you’re Australian) and Flintoff on 72 not out. If they can put up over 400 as a 1st innings target then they’ll be in a fine position to complete their victory with only the English weather likely to intervene.
AND THERE’S MORE….
Finally this weekend the waiting is over. After the basketball rugby of the Super 12, and the admittedly superb rugby of the Tri-Nations which winds up this weekend, the Zurich Premiership gets under way in England with the mighty Tigers taking on Sale on Sunday. Hopefully, with no World Cup this season and Johnson and Back both having retired from international rugby so not going to be involved in the Six Nations, there will be much less disruption to the team this year and they can build on the fine end of season form they showed earlier this year to challenge for honours again.
If anyone needs me I'll be on the sofa with the remote control in my hand and the laptop close by.
Ere we go, ere we go, ere we gooooo…..
Ere we go, ere we go, ere we gooooo….
Thursday, August 19, 2004
SMELL THAT FRESH AIR
Kowloon has disappeared into the smog and the Central air pollution index currently (5.34pm) stands at 134. On the scale used that is "Very High" and means that "Persons with existing heart or respiratory illnesses (such as coronary heart and cardiovascular diseases, asthma, chronic bronchitis and chronic obstructive airways diseases)are advised to reduce physical exertion and outdoor activities" so as a very very mild ashtmatic it looks like I shall have to trade in my planned trip to the gym / swimming pool for a trip to the pub.
Oh what a shame. Still it's the though that counts eh.
Kowloon has disappeared into the smog and the Central air pollution index currently (5.34pm) stands at 134. On the scale used that is "Very High" and means that "Persons with existing heart or respiratory illnesses (such as coronary heart and cardiovascular diseases, asthma, chronic bronchitis and chronic obstructive airways diseases)are advised to reduce physical exertion and outdoor activities" so as a very very mild ashtmatic it looks like I shall have to trade in my planned trip to the gym / swimming pool for a trip to the pub.
Oh what a shame. Still it's the though that counts eh.
BLACKBERRY
My Blackberry has still failed to materialise after its mysterious disappearance during an impromptu night out last Thursday. I thought it might be an idea to get a new one in the spirit of corporate allegiance. The following exchange of emails took place (the names have been changed to protect the guilty)
Me
"i'm afraid i've lost my blackberry! it must have fallen out of my pocket in the cab home on thurs night. have searched here, home and called the taxi lost property office but no joy.
[IT bod] has disabled the email feed to it.
what do i need to do to get another one?
giles"
Company
"pod out"
Me
"is that some sort of code?"
Company
"it means the user pays"
Me
"So i never wanted one in the first place and don't want one now, but am willing to have one so that people can get hold of me at home and on holiday etc with work questions. And i'm expected to pay because it fell out of my pocket in a cab?
I think I shall just opt for being incommunicado when out of the office.
[IT bod] there are some bits for a blackberry you can feel free to remove from my desk if you want."
So if anyone wants to get hold of me, don't bother sending an email
My Blackberry has still failed to materialise after its mysterious disappearance during an impromptu night out last Thursday. I thought it might be an idea to get a new one in the spirit of corporate allegiance. The following exchange of emails took place (the names have been changed to protect the guilty)
Me
"i'm afraid i've lost my blackberry! it must have fallen out of my pocket in the cab home on thurs night. have searched here, home and called the taxi lost property office but no joy.
[IT bod] has disabled the email feed to it.
what do i need to do to get another one?
giles"
Company
"pod out"
Me
"is that some sort of code?"
Company
"it means the user pays"
Me
"So i never wanted one in the first place and don't want one now, but am willing to have one so that people can get hold of me at home and on holiday etc with work questions. And i'm expected to pay because it fell out of my pocket in a cab?
I think I shall just opt for being incommunicado when out of the office.
[IT bod] there are some bits for a blackberry you can feel free to remove from my desk if you want."
So if anyone wants to get hold of me, don't bother sending an email
THE AMERICAN WAY OF DEATH
(For the benefit of English speakers, as opposed to American speakers, I'm informed a casket is a coffin.)
Aug. 17 (Bloomberg) -- Costco Wholesale Corp., the largest
U.S. warehouse-club chain, is test-marketing caskets at two of
its Chicago-area stores, the Associated Press said.
Costco is offering six models of caskets that are being
displayed next to mattresses at a North Side Chicago store and a
suburban store in Oak Brook, AP said. Each of the Universal
Casket Co. steel models is priced at $799.99 and comes in colors
including lilac and blue, AP said.
``This is certainly something that can be an easy value,''
Gina Bianche, a buyer for Issaquah, Washington-based Costco,
said. ``I don't want to say cheap value, but it just needs to be
done.''
Manufactures, funeral supply stores and Internet sites sell
caskets directly to the public, yet general retail stores have
previously avoided the market, David Walkinshaw, a National
Funeral Directors Association spokesman, told AP.
I think putting them next to the mattresses is a nice touch! If this works then perhaps they could start selling them in gun stores too? Surely that's a logical tie-in?
And what about here? Perhaps Park N Shop could put them next to the dodgy fish-balls? Or the live poultry markets could sell them in case you pick up some avian flu? And ministers of various religions could start leaving a little pile of cards next to them so you can contact them easily. You could buy the coffin, arrange the funeral and sort out the catering needs all in one shopping trip. In fact the more I think about it the more this is perfectly suited to Hong Kong and it's endless rush to do everything as fast as possible (except for when escalators are involved obviously - only a lunatic would walk on an escalator when you can just stand still and let the machine take the strain, no matter how much of a rush you're in).
The possibilities are endless.
(For the benefit of English speakers, as opposed to American speakers, I'm informed a casket is a coffin.)
Aug. 17 (Bloomberg) -- Costco Wholesale Corp., the largest
U.S. warehouse-club chain, is test-marketing caskets at two of
its Chicago-area stores, the Associated Press said.
Costco is offering six models of caskets that are being
displayed next to mattresses at a North Side Chicago store and a
suburban store in Oak Brook, AP said. Each of the Universal
Casket Co. steel models is priced at $799.99 and comes in colors
including lilac and blue, AP said.
``This is certainly something that can be an easy value,''
Gina Bianche, a buyer for Issaquah, Washington-based Costco,
said. ``I don't want to say cheap value, but it just needs to be
done.''
Manufactures, funeral supply stores and Internet sites sell
caskets directly to the public, yet general retail stores have
previously avoided the market, David Walkinshaw, a National
Funeral Directors Association spokesman, told AP.
I think putting them next to the mattresses is a nice touch! If this works then perhaps they could start selling them in gun stores too? Surely that's a logical tie-in?
And what about here? Perhaps Park N Shop could put them next to the dodgy fish-balls? Or the live poultry markets could sell them in case you pick up some avian flu? And ministers of various religions could start leaving a little pile of cards next to them so you can contact them easily. You could buy the coffin, arrange the funeral and sort out the catering needs all in one shopping trip. In fact the more I think about it the more this is perfectly suited to Hong Kong and it's endless rush to do everything as fast as possible (except for when escalators are involved obviously - only a lunatic would walk on an escalator when you can just stand still and let the machine take the strain, no matter how much of a rush you're in).
The possibilities are endless.
OLYMPICS AGAIN
So last night, in the spirit of compromise, and more importantly in the spirit of not aggravating a 8 ¾ month pregnant Mrs C, I watched more Olympic “highlights”.
First up we had some guy shooting clay pigeons, then someone shooting targets with an air pistol, then someone swinging round and round some bars, followed by doing some fancy cartwheels across the floor, then someone on a horse, and then, finally, some actual sport in the form of hockey (that’s filed hockey for any Americans and Canadians who may be reading). You can tell it’s real sport because there are teams, a ball, half time, and a real risk of injury. In fact I think mixed hockey is possibly the most violent sport I have ever played. For some reason the women always go nuts and spend the entire game hacking at your ankles with the stick, and if that doesn’t stop you they then start hacking at your head. Very unpleasant. But it proves it’s a real sport, as was beautifully demonstrated last night by one female Korean player who took careful aim and smashed the ball into the side of her own captains head. The captain (not sure of her name but it’s a safe guess she’s probably Ms Park, unless she’s Ms Lee) immediately collapsed into a heap. To borrow a line from The 12th Man cricket parody, she dropped her “like a sack of shit”. Marvellous. Finally a bit of action. This was followed by boxing – again real sport, and then sadly we were back in the pool for synchronized nose picking.
When finally it was all over I was given control of the remoter again and surfed. What do I find on the very next channel. More bloody Olympics. Yesterday Simon was complaining that there was no Olympics coverage here but yesterday I couldn’t get away from it! He assures me it’s the same highlights just run at a slightly different time but I couldn’t tell.
Still at least we’ll have proper sport tonight when England go for the clean sweep of the West Indies at the Oval. Back to Test Match Special on the laptop while Mrs C is next door watching the Olympics. Excellent!
So last night, in the spirit of compromise, and more importantly in the spirit of not aggravating a 8 ¾ month pregnant Mrs C, I watched more Olympic “highlights”.
First up we had some guy shooting clay pigeons, then someone shooting targets with an air pistol, then someone swinging round and round some bars, followed by doing some fancy cartwheels across the floor, then someone on a horse, and then, finally, some actual sport in the form of hockey (that’s filed hockey for any Americans and Canadians who may be reading). You can tell it’s real sport because there are teams, a ball, half time, and a real risk of injury. In fact I think mixed hockey is possibly the most violent sport I have ever played. For some reason the women always go nuts and spend the entire game hacking at your ankles with the stick, and if that doesn’t stop you they then start hacking at your head. Very unpleasant. But it proves it’s a real sport, as was beautifully demonstrated last night by one female Korean player who took careful aim and smashed the ball into the side of her own captains head. The captain (not sure of her name but it’s a safe guess she’s probably Ms Park, unless she’s Ms Lee) immediately collapsed into a heap. To borrow a line from The 12th Man cricket parody, she dropped her “like a sack of shit”. Marvellous. Finally a bit of action. This was followed by boxing – again real sport, and then sadly we were back in the pool for synchronized nose picking.
When finally it was all over I was given control of the remoter again and surfed. What do I find on the very next channel. More bloody Olympics. Yesterday Simon was complaining that there was no Olympics coverage here but yesterday I couldn’t get away from it! He assures me it’s the same highlights just run at a slightly different time but I couldn’t tell.
Still at least we’ll have proper sport tonight when England go for the clean sweep of the West Indies at the Oval. Back to Test Match Special on the laptop while Mrs C is next door watching the Olympics. Excellent!
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
OLYMPICS
The excellent story about the Greek sprinters, their missed drug tests and their "road accident" has been the most entertaining part of the Olympics so far. Today was due to be the day when they found out if they would be allowed to compete. Now it turns out both have withdrawn "voluntarily" - the fuill story is here.
And in case anyone is under the impression they are not guilty as hell of doping of some form, then read this about Kenteris. While it's all circumstantial it's also all unbelievably suspicious.
The excellent story about the Greek sprinters, their missed drug tests and their "road accident" has been the most entertaining part of the Olympics so far. Today was due to be the day when they found out if they would be allowed to compete. Now it turns out both have withdrawn "voluntarily" - the fuill story is here.
And in case anyone is under the impression they are not guilty as hell of doping of some form, then read this about Kenteris. While it's all circumstantial it's also all unbelievably suspicious.
"DON'T EAT MICE"
An Australian man has been fined A$750 ($537) for chewing the tail off a live mouse in a pub competition.
Brisbane Magistrates Court was told that Tony McGee, 22, was so drunk at the time that he was in shock when he later learned what he had done.
An animal welfare charity has lodged an appeal, saying the fine is inadequate and calling for a A$5,000 penalty.
The Brisbane hotel where the contest took place has condemned it, and has pledged it will not happen again.
Defence lawyer Ben Power said McGee, who pleaded guilty to being cruel to an animal, had been given a A$100 drinking voucher by the organisers of the competition beforehand and had drunk bourbon and beer for six hours.
"He would like to stress that he is very sorry about what has occurred," Mr Power said.
Robbie Gundelach, 21, the organiser of the competition, was fined A$1,250 and ordered to pay A$300 in court costs.
Extreme dares
"Jackass promotion" - named after a US TV stunt show - took place on Wednesdays at the Exchange Hotel in Brisbane and involved undertaking dares.
McGee had also set off a mouse trap with his tongue, eaten a cup of maggots, sucked up chillies through a straw, drunk a pint of anchovies and downed a pint of mouthwash, according to Mr Power.
Another man who allegedly chewed a mouse in the competition, Shane Gill, has yet to be charged. The men were competing to win a holiday.
On leaving court on Tuesday he was asked if he had any advice for other competitors.
"Don't eat mice," the Australian Associated Press quoted him as saying.
The maximum sentence for cruelty to animals under Queensland laws is a A$75,000 fine or two years in jail.
from the BBC
An Australian man has been fined A$750 ($537) for chewing the tail off a live mouse in a pub competition.
Brisbane Magistrates Court was told that Tony McGee, 22, was so drunk at the time that he was in shock when he later learned what he had done.
An animal welfare charity has lodged an appeal, saying the fine is inadequate and calling for a A$5,000 penalty.
The Brisbane hotel where the contest took place has condemned it, and has pledged it will not happen again.
Defence lawyer Ben Power said McGee, who pleaded guilty to being cruel to an animal, had been given a A$100 drinking voucher by the organisers of the competition beforehand and had drunk bourbon and beer for six hours.
"He would like to stress that he is very sorry about what has occurred," Mr Power said.
Robbie Gundelach, 21, the organiser of the competition, was fined A$1,250 and ordered to pay A$300 in court costs.
Extreme dares
"Jackass promotion" - named after a US TV stunt show - took place on Wednesdays at the Exchange Hotel in Brisbane and involved undertaking dares.
McGee had also set off a mouse trap with his tongue, eaten a cup of maggots, sucked up chillies through a straw, drunk a pint of anchovies and downed a pint of mouthwash, according to Mr Power.
Another man who allegedly chewed a mouse in the competition, Shane Gill, has yet to be charged. The men were competing to win a holiday.
On leaving court on Tuesday he was asked if he had any advice for other competitors.
"Don't eat mice," the Australian Associated Press quoted him as saying.
The maximum sentence for cruelty to animals under Queensland laws is a A$75,000 fine or two years in jail.
from the BBC
OLYMPIC VILLAGE
Last night while channel surfing I bumped into the Olympics, despite all my best efforts to avoid them. Mrs Chariot likes the Olympics so I gamely sat and watched as some scary Aussie woman shot clay pigeons, some Chinese bloke hit targets with an air rifle, some gymnasts whirled themselves round and round for no obvious reason, and some Asians played badminton and table tennis.
I got to thinking during one of the more tedious than usual “sporting” events on display (can’t remember which one – I went into a sort of trance after about 15 seconds) about the Olympic village and how athletes stack up internally in their countries squads and against each other. Do you think there is a pecking order?
I mean obviously the boys running the 100m will be at the top, strutting around the village like they own the place, but where do the rest fit in? I think it’s fair to assume that the table tennis boys and girls are at the bottom of the pile, sitting in their little rooms polishing their bats while the big boys are out and about pushing weights and comparing biceps, but what about the rest? Would badminton be below synchronized diving? What about rhythmic gymnastics? And weightlifters – they’re pointless but scary, where do they fit in? Alongside the shot-putters maybe? And when it comes to the end-of-games party, when all those free condoms they hand out get put to work., do you think the 100m boys are getting all the girls while the table tennis guys are again in their rooms polishing their bats (never heard it called that before).
And I also thought about the natural tendencies certain countries have towards certain sports. The Aussies are big on swimming because they live by the sea, everyone has a pool and no-one does any work so they all swim all the time. The Chinese are good at shooting because they execute a lot of people so get plenty of target practice, and table tennis and badminton because as far as I can tell the idea of going outdoors is hell to the average Chinese and these are nice indoor air-conditioned sports. The Kenyans and Ethiopians are good long-distance runners because they don’t have cars. The Americans are good sprinters because they have to dodge bullets all the time thanks to the miracle of their gun laws. And this also explains the dismal efforts of the British. Not hot enough for pools, not enough space for lots of tracks, not enough guns to be dangerous, lots of cars. In short, too dull a place to be the best at anything,
These are the thoughts that go through your mind while watching some guy fall into a swimming pool.
Last night while channel surfing I bumped into the Olympics, despite all my best efforts to avoid them. Mrs Chariot likes the Olympics so I gamely sat and watched as some scary Aussie woman shot clay pigeons, some Chinese bloke hit targets with an air rifle, some gymnasts whirled themselves round and round for no obvious reason, and some Asians played badminton and table tennis.
I got to thinking during one of the more tedious than usual “sporting” events on display (can’t remember which one – I went into a sort of trance after about 15 seconds) about the Olympic village and how athletes stack up internally in their countries squads and against each other. Do you think there is a pecking order?
I mean obviously the boys running the 100m will be at the top, strutting around the village like they own the place, but where do the rest fit in? I think it’s fair to assume that the table tennis boys and girls are at the bottom of the pile, sitting in their little rooms polishing their bats while the big boys are out and about pushing weights and comparing biceps, but what about the rest? Would badminton be below synchronized diving? What about rhythmic gymnastics? And weightlifters – they’re pointless but scary, where do they fit in? Alongside the shot-putters maybe? And when it comes to the end-of-games party, when all those free condoms they hand out get put to work., do you think the 100m boys are getting all the girls while the table tennis guys are again in their rooms polishing their bats (never heard it called that before).
And I also thought about the natural tendencies certain countries have towards certain sports. The Aussies are big on swimming because they live by the sea, everyone has a pool and no-one does any work so they all swim all the time. The Chinese are good at shooting because they execute a lot of people so get plenty of target practice, and table tennis and badminton because as far as I can tell the idea of going outdoors is hell to the average Chinese and these are nice indoor air-conditioned sports. The Kenyans and Ethiopians are good long-distance runners because they don’t have cars. The Americans are good sprinters because they have to dodge bullets all the time thanks to the miracle of their gun laws. And this also explains the dismal efforts of the British. Not hot enough for pools, not enough space for lots of tracks, not enough guns to be dangerous, lots of cars. In short, too dull a place to be the best at anything,
These are the thoughts that go through your mind while watching some guy fall into a swimming pool.
AMERICAN TROOP REALIGNMENT
The Americans have announced that they are planning to reduce the level of their forces based overseas and create smaller, more mobile forces which are to be based in Africa, the old Soviet Union and Asia.
Interestingly this has created much wailing and gnashing of teeth in Europe, from where most of the troops will be moved. They are complaining it will leave them exposed, and that the removal of free-spending Americans will harm local economies. So on the one hand they are all complaining about the American military being in places they don’t want it to be, and then complaining because they’re removing. The hypocrisy of their behaviour is startling. Effectively they view the US army as a subsidy to their local economies, not as a force that the US can do what it wants with.
This has prompted an excellent article in the Daily Telegraph which I have copied below. It makes some excellent points and I agree with the author totally, particularly the hypocrisy of Olympic crowds cheering the liberated Afghan team but not the liberators.
Do you want to sing Waterloo or fight it?
By Mark Steyn
(Filed: 17/08/2004)
'We won't come back till it's over/Over There!' sang America's doughboys, marching off to war in 1917. In the Second World War, they had other songs to sing, which is just as well because, even though the World War was over over there 60 years ago, and the Cold War was over 15 years ago, only now are the Yanks heading home.
In the largest military realignment in years, Washington plans to withdraw 70,000 troops plus 100,000 family members and support personnel from overseas US bases. That means, for the most part, from Europe.
This will undoubtedly be welcome news to the likes of Goran Persson, the Swedish prime minister, who famously declared that the purpose of the European Union is that "it's one of the few institutions we can develop as a balance to US world domination". It must surely be awfully embarrassing to be the first superpower in history to be permanently garrisoned by your principal rival superpower. But it's also grand news for those of us who've long argued that America's six-decade security guarantee to Europe has been a massive strategic error.
The basic flaw in the Atlantic "alliance" is that, for almost all its participants, the free world is a free lunch: a defence pact of wealthy nations in which only one guy picks up the tab. I said as much in a Canadian column I wrote on 9/11, and a few weeks later the dominion's deputy prime minister, John Manley, conceded that his country was dining in the best restaurants without paying its way: as he put it, "You can't just sit at the G8 table and then, when the bill comes, go to the washroom." But in Nato, for generations, whenever the bill's come, there's been a stampede to the washroom, not just from the Canadians but the Continentals, too.
Like any other form of welfare, defence welfare is a hard habit to break and profoundly damaging to the recipient. The peculiarly obnoxious character of modern Europe is a logical consequence of Washington's willingness to absolve it of responsibility for its own security. Our Defence Editor, John Keegan, once wrote that "without armed forces a state does not exist".
That's true in a certain sense. But, in another, for wealthy nations who've found a sugar daddy, it's marvellously liberating. You're able to preen and pose on the world stage secure in the knowledge that nobody expects you to do anything about it. Bret Stephens, the editor of the Jerusalem Post, opened his mail the other day and found a copy of something called "Conclusions of the European Council", a summary of the work done during the six months of the Irish Euro-presidency. He made the mistake of reading it.
Here's item 80: "The European Council expresses its deep concern at the recent events in the Eastern Congo, which could jeopardise the transition process."
Been following that one? Europe is free to flaunt its "concern" – and even its "deep concern" – over the Eastern Congo precisely because it's entirely irrelevant to events in the Eastern Congo. As Stephens points out, European countries now have attitudes in inverse proportion to the likelihood of their acting upon them. They're like my hippy-dippy Vermont neighbours who drive around with "Free Tibet" bumper stickers. Every couple of years, they trade in the Volvo for a Subaru, and painstakingly paste a new "Free Tibet" sticker on the back.
What are they doing to free Tibet? Nothing. Tibet is as unfree now as it was when they started advertising their commitment to a free Tibet. And it will be just as unfree when they buy their next car and slap on the old sticker one mo' time. If Don Rumsfeld were to say, 'Free Tibet'? That's a great idea!
The Third Infantry Division go in on Thursday', all the 'Free Tibet' crowd would be driving around with 'War is not the answer' stickers. When entire nations embrace self-congratulatory holier-than-thou moral poseurdom as a way of life, it's even less attractive. The Belgians weren't half as insufferable when they were the German army's preferred shortcut to France.
For the purposes of the preceding racist generalisation, I should explain that I'm semi-Belgian, but I'm happy to apply the same point to many countries with which I lack consanguinity. At Friday's Olympics ceremony, for example, I noticed the team from liberated Afghanistan drew far more enthusiastic cheers from the Athens crowd than the team of the country that actually liberated them.
Fair enough. But what then is the practical value of their professed support for the Afghans? At the time of the Afghan liberation, a poll found only 5.2 per cent of Greeks supported the war.
A wealthy continent liberated from the burdens of military expenditure is also liberated to a large degree from reality. Poor peoples have no choice but to live in the real world: if a drought wipes out their crops, they starve. Likewise, rich, powerful nations have traditionally required great vigilance to maintain their wealth and power.
But Europe increasingly resembles those insulated celebrities being shuttled around town from one humanitarian gala to another – like Barbra Streisand flying in by private jet to discuss excessive energy consumption with President Clinton. Just as elderly rockers and Hollywood divas are largely free from the tedious responsibilities of rich industrialists or supermarket magnates – payroll costs and plant upgrades – so the EU can flaunt its "concerns" about the world and leave the logistics to others.
The US security umbrella, along with the Eurovision Song Contest, was really the prototype pan-European institution. The Americans helped build a continent in which you could sing Waterloo rather than fight it, and, if in their excessive generosity they accelerated an inclination to softness and decadence, well, it's not their problem. For the wars of the future, it makes sense to have a mobile presence using old colonial bases in the Horn of Africa or old Soviet bases in Central Asia as temporary homes.
The EU, meanwhile, has challenges of its own, and in the coming clash between a shrinking secularised Euro-elite and its swelling Islamist populations it's not clear whether, as James Baker would say, America has a dog in that fight. The only question for the Continent is whether it's over over there in a more profound sense than those singing doughboys ever contemplated.
So now Europe will have to defend itself, and be able to back up its own rhetoric if necessary.
Welcome to the real world.
The Americans have announced that they are planning to reduce the level of their forces based overseas and create smaller, more mobile forces which are to be based in Africa, the old Soviet Union and Asia.
Interestingly this has created much wailing and gnashing of teeth in Europe, from where most of the troops will be moved. They are complaining it will leave them exposed, and that the removal of free-spending Americans will harm local economies. So on the one hand they are all complaining about the American military being in places they don’t want it to be, and then complaining because they’re removing. The hypocrisy of their behaviour is startling. Effectively they view the US army as a subsidy to their local economies, not as a force that the US can do what it wants with.
This has prompted an excellent article in the Daily Telegraph which I have copied below. It makes some excellent points and I agree with the author totally, particularly the hypocrisy of Olympic crowds cheering the liberated Afghan team but not the liberators.
Do you want to sing Waterloo or fight it?
By Mark Steyn
(Filed: 17/08/2004)
'We won't come back till it's over/Over There!' sang America's doughboys, marching off to war in 1917. In the Second World War, they had other songs to sing, which is just as well because, even though the World War was over over there 60 years ago, and the Cold War was over 15 years ago, only now are the Yanks heading home.
In the largest military realignment in years, Washington plans to withdraw 70,000 troops plus 100,000 family members and support personnel from overseas US bases. That means, for the most part, from Europe.
This will undoubtedly be welcome news to the likes of Goran Persson, the Swedish prime minister, who famously declared that the purpose of the European Union is that "it's one of the few institutions we can develop as a balance to US world domination". It must surely be awfully embarrassing to be the first superpower in history to be permanently garrisoned by your principal rival superpower. But it's also grand news for those of us who've long argued that America's six-decade security guarantee to Europe has been a massive strategic error.
The basic flaw in the Atlantic "alliance" is that, for almost all its participants, the free world is a free lunch: a defence pact of wealthy nations in which only one guy picks up the tab. I said as much in a Canadian column I wrote on 9/11, and a few weeks later the dominion's deputy prime minister, John Manley, conceded that his country was dining in the best restaurants without paying its way: as he put it, "You can't just sit at the G8 table and then, when the bill comes, go to the washroom." But in Nato, for generations, whenever the bill's come, there's been a stampede to the washroom, not just from the Canadians but the Continentals, too.
Like any other form of welfare, defence welfare is a hard habit to break and profoundly damaging to the recipient. The peculiarly obnoxious character of modern Europe is a logical consequence of Washington's willingness to absolve it of responsibility for its own security. Our Defence Editor, John Keegan, once wrote that "without armed forces a state does not exist".
That's true in a certain sense. But, in another, for wealthy nations who've found a sugar daddy, it's marvellously liberating. You're able to preen and pose on the world stage secure in the knowledge that nobody expects you to do anything about it. Bret Stephens, the editor of the Jerusalem Post, opened his mail the other day and found a copy of something called "Conclusions of the European Council", a summary of the work done during the six months of the Irish Euro-presidency. He made the mistake of reading it.
Here's item 80: "The European Council expresses its deep concern at the recent events in the Eastern Congo, which could jeopardise the transition process."
Been following that one? Europe is free to flaunt its "concern" – and even its "deep concern" – over the Eastern Congo precisely because it's entirely irrelevant to events in the Eastern Congo. As Stephens points out, European countries now have attitudes in inverse proportion to the likelihood of their acting upon them. They're like my hippy-dippy Vermont neighbours who drive around with "Free Tibet" bumper stickers. Every couple of years, they trade in the Volvo for a Subaru, and painstakingly paste a new "Free Tibet" sticker on the back.
What are they doing to free Tibet? Nothing. Tibet is as unfree now as it was when they started advertising their commitment to a free Tibet. And it will be just as unfree when they buy their next car and slap on the old sticker one mo' time. If Don Rumsfeld were to say, 'Free Tibet'? That's a great idea!
The Third Infantry Division go in on Thursday', all the 'Free Tibet' crowd would be driving around with 'War is not the answer' stickers. When entire nations embrace self-congratulatory holier-than-thou moral poseurdom as a way of life, it's even less attractive. The Belgians weren't half as insufferable when they were the German army's preferred shortcut to France.
For the purposes of the preceding racist generalisation, I should explain that I'm semi-Belgian, but I'm happy to apply the same point to many countries with which I lack consanguinity. At Friday's Olympics ceremony, for example, I noticed the team from liberated Afghanistan drew far more enthusiastic cheers from the Athens crowd than the team of the country that actually liberated them.
Fair enough. But what then is the practical value of their professed support for the Afghans? At the time of the Afghan liberation, a poll found only 5.2 per cent of Greeks supported the war.
A wealthy continent liberated from the burdens of military expenditure is also liberated to a large degree from reality. Poor peoples have no choice but to live in the real world: if a drought wipes out their crops, they starve. Likewise, rich, powerful nations have traditionally required great vigilance to maintain their wealth and power.
But Europe increasingly resembles those insulated celebrities being shuttled around town from one humanitarian gala to another – like Barbra Streisand flying in by private jet to discuss excessive energy consumption with President Clinton. Just as elderly rockers and Hollywood divas are largely free from the tedious responsibilities of rich industrialists or supermarket magnates – payroll costs and plant upgrades – so the EU can flaunt its "concerns" about the world and leave the logistics to others.
The US security umbrella, along with the Eurovision Song Contest, was really the prototype pan-European institution. The Americans helped build a continent in which you could sing Waterloo rather than fight it, and, if in their excessive generosity they accelerated an inclination to softness and decadence, well, it's not their problem. For the wars of the future, it makes sense to have a mobile presence using old colonial bases in the Horn of Africa or old Soviet bases in Central Asia as temporary homes.
The EU, meanwhile, has challenges of its own, and in the coming clash between a shrinking secularised Euro-elite and its swelling Islamist populations it's not clear whether, as James Baker would say, America has a dog in that fight. The only question for the Continent is whether it's over over there in a more profound sense than those singing doughboys ever contemplated.
So now Europe will have to defend itself, and be able to back up its own rhetoric if necessary.
Welcome to the real world.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
SPORT
A huge victory for England yesterday in the cricket, breaking the record for the highest 4th innings run chase at Old Trafford in the process. England cruised home despite an early wobble which saw them at 29-2 at one stage. England have now won three consecutive series against the West Indies, and 10 of their last 11 tests. Bring on the Aussies…
Which brings me neatly to the Olympics. The Aussies here are all excited because some Aussie freak-of-nature, with arms as long as your average gorilla and the looks to match, has managed to swim up and down a pool faster than some Dutchman and some American I’ve never heard of before. They are trying desperately to whip everyone into a frenzy of jealousy here but Genghis, Attila and I are serene and calm because WE DON’T CARE. In fact, NO-ONE CARES!
We have seen through the Aussie tactics and now realize that they are so desperate to get up the medal rankings that they have opted to specialize in a “sport” that no-one else, anywhere in the world, gives a rat’s arse about.
And the fact that so few people care means that this Thorpe bloke is able to enter about 19 events, so their freak-of-nature will be able to rack up a good few golds and boost them up the standings. How many track athletes are entered for as many events? None. In track most guys get maybe 2 events if they’re lucky, with the really gifted getting maybe 3 or 4 if they’re able to enter say 100m, 200m and relays. Not exactly the same as swimming is it boys where there are about 19 different strokes styles but all over roughly the same distance so the same guy can enter loads of “different” events.
Australia’s claim to global sporting domination this Olympics seems to me to be based on 1 guy with long arms. Let’s see how loud they’re shouting next week when the track takes over and the Americans make the Aussies look like they’re running backwards.
A huge victory for England yesterday in the cricket, breaking the record for the highest 4th innings run chase at Old Trafford in the process. England cruised home despite an early wobble which saw them at 29-2 at one stage. England have now won three consecutive series against the West Indies, and 10 of their last 11 tests. Bring on the Aussies…
Which brings me neatly to the Olympics. The Aussies here are all excited because some Aussie freak-of-nature, with arms as long as your average gorilla and the looks to match, has managed to swim up and down a pool faster than some Dutchman and some American I’ve never heard of before. They are trying desperately to whip everyone into a frenzy of jealousy here but Genghis, Attila and I are serene and calm because WE DON’T CARE. In fact, NO-ONE CARES!
We have seen through the Aussie tactics and now realize that they are so desperate to get up the medal rankings that they have opted to specialize in a “sport” that no-one else, anywhere in the world, gives a rat’s arse about.
And the fact that so few people care means that this Thorpe bloke is able to enter about 19 events, so their freak-of-nature will be able to rack up a good few golds and boost them up the standings. How many track athletes are entered for as many events? None. In track most guys get maybe 2 events if they’re lucky, with the really gifted getting maybe 3 or 4 if they’re able to enter say 100m, 200m and relays. Not exactly the same as swimming is it boys where there are about 19 different strokes styles but all over roughly the same distance so the same guy can enter loads of “different” events.
Australia’s claim to global sporting domination this Olympics seems to me to be based on 1 guy with long arms. Let’s see how loud they’re shouting next week when the track takes over and the Americans make the Aussies look like they’re running backwards.
Monday, August 16, 2004
SPORT
Not that sport, where apparently some Chinese people pinned the tail on the donkey faster, or more accurately, or something, than anyone else, or that sport, where some bloke I’d never heard of doggy-paddled quicker that some other bloke I’d never heard of, but REAL sport, where 30 large, angry men, divided into 2 teams of 15, ran at each other for 80 minutes until the ones wearing green won.
What a great game.
If Percy had has his kicking boots on it’d have been over as a contest at half-time, but fortunately for the spectator he didn’t, and it wasn’t until the final five minutes or so that the game was decided. The final scoreline of 40-26 doesn’t show how close it was right up to the final few minutes, when the Kiwis really threw caution to the wind in a desperate effort to get their noses back in front, and their defence opened up as a result. Having said that, the Kiwis spent most of the game playing as though it was a game of 7’s rather than 15’s. Exciting to watch, but against a determined, organized and physical South African side it was always going to be a high-risk strategy.
Now it’s down a winner-takes-all finale next weekend in Durban as the Boks face the Wallabies. Can’t wait.
And of course there was also the OTHER sport this weekend, as England took on the West Indies at Old Trafford. Thanks to the miracle off the internet I was able to spend the perfect Saturday evening sitting outside, with the barbeque going, a cold beer fresh from the fridge, poured into a glass fresh from the freezer, and Test Match Special playing through the laptop, before the Boks v All Blacks kicked off at 9pm.
Life doesn’t get much better than that.
Anyway despite losing a days play to rain it’s all set up for a good day today. The Windies lead by 226 with 1 wicket remaining, and a full day’s play expected later today. Going to be a great day’s play, and a great evening hopefully repeating Saturday night.
Oh and there was something going on in Greece apparently.
Not that sport, where apparently some Chinese people pinned the tail on the donkey faster, or more accurately, or something, than anyone else, or that sport, where some bloke I’d never heard of doggy-paddled quicker that some other bloke I’d never heard of, but REAL sport, where 30 large, angry men, divided into 2 teams of 15, ran at each other for 80 minutes until the ones wearing green won.
What a great game.
If Percy had has his kicking boots on it’d have been over as a contest at half-time, but fortunately for the spectator he didn’t, and it wasn’t until the final five minutes or so that the game was decided. The final scoreline of 40-26 doesn’t show how close it was right up to the final few minutes, when the Kiwis really threw caution to the wind in a desperate effort to get their noses back in front, and their defence opened up as a result. Having said that, the Kiwis spent most of the game playing as though it was a game of 7’s rather than 15’s. Exciting to watch, but against a determined, organized and physical South African side it was always going to be a high-risk strategy.
Now it’s down a winner-takes-all finale next weekend in Durban as the Boks face the Wallabies. Can’t wait.
And of course there was also the OTHER sport this weekend, as England took on the West Indies at Old Trafford. Thanks to the miracle off the internet I was able to spend the perfect Saturday evening sitting outside, with the barbeque going, a cold beer fresh from the fridge, poured into a glass fresh from the freezer, and Test Match Special playing through the laptop, before the Boks v All Blacks kicked off at 9pm.
Life doesn’t get much better than that.
Anyway despite losing a days play to rain it’s all set up for a good day today. The Windies lead by 226 with 1 wicket remaining, and a full day’s play expected later today. Going to be a great day’s play, and a great evening hopefully repeating Saturday night.
Oh and there was something going on in Greece apparently.
Friday, August 13, 2004
OUCH!
Small headache this morning resulting from a "quick drink" in Dublin Jack last night which led to several more quick drinks, and then on to a head-wetting in the Globe where the evening took on a very amusing tone.
I found myself talking to a russian girl called Svetlana (sp?), from Vladivostock apparently. She was blond, about 5ft 10 and very good looking. It seems she has been in HK for 8 years, having married a Chinese guy, despite not speaking a word of either Cantonese or Mandarin, or much English for that matter (given her level of English now, after 8 years in Hong Kong, I can only imagine 8 years ago she barely spoke a word).
(Un)surprisingly she has now divorced this guy and is living with an Englishman who was at the head-wetting (hence my surprise at her level of English). Now I am not a great expert on, or appreciator of, the male form (unlike the governor of New Jersey) but even I could tell that this guy was particularly unprepossesing. 5ft 8ish, pasty white, dorky glasses, even dorkier haircut, wobbly and flabby in all the wrong places. Now I may be being cynical here but I suspect that it may be his chequebook she loves not him - though I'm sure he couldn't give a stuff.
Still it's nice to see that the stereotype of fat ugly gweilos only going out with attractive asian girls is wrong!
And I never did find out what line of work first brought her to HK or how she met her first husband......
P.S. if anyone finds a blackberry, it's mine!
Small headache this morning resulting from a "quick drink" in Dublin Jack last night which led to several more quick drinks, and then on to a head-wetting in the Globe where the evening took on a very amusing tone.
I found myself talking to a russian girl called Svetlana (sp?), from Vladivostock apparently. She was blond, about 5ft 10 and very good looking. It seems she has been in HK for 8 years, having married a Chinese guy, despite not speaking a word of either Cantonese or Mandarin, or much English for that matter (given her level of English now, after 8 years in Hong Kong, I can only imagine 8 years ago she barely spoke a word).
(Un)surprisingly she has now divorced this guy and is living with an Englishman who was at the head-wetting (hence my surprise at her level of English). Now I am not a great expert on, or appreciator of, the male form (unlike the governor of New Jersey) but even I could tell that this guy was particularly unprepossesing. 5ft 8ish, pasty white, dorky glasses, even dorkier haircut, wobbly and flabby in all the wrong places. Now I may be being cynical here but I suspect that it may be his chequebook she loves not him - though I'm sure he couldn't give a stuff.
Still it's nice to see that the stereotype of fat ugly gweilos only going out with attractive asian girls is wrong!
And I never did find out what line of work first brought her to HK or how she met her first husband......
P.S. if anyone finds a blackberry, it's mine!
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Four in Philippines Arrested for Eating Wedding Guest
Aug. 11 (Bloomberg) -- Four people in the western Philippines were arrested for murdering a wedding guest, roasting and eating parts of the body and serving some remains at the reception, Agence France-Presse reported, citing police.
Farm laborer Eladio Baule, his son Gerard Baule and nephews Sabtuary Pequi and Johnny Buyot allegedly killed Benjie Ganay on July 17 after Ganay accidentally touched Eladio Baule's daughter's bottom during her wedding party on the island of Palawan, the report said, citing Narra town police chief Senior Superintendent Perla Bacuel.
The four suspects, drunk at the time, set fire to Ganay's body, and Bacuel said the aroma of roasting flesh may have tempted the group to eat parts of the burned body, the report said. The father and son allegedly served some of the flesh to other guests, it said. The crime was discovered about eight days later, when the nephews confessed to police, it said.
Police are looking into the possibility that some of the suspects may have been involved in other disappearances in Palawan since the 1980s, AFP said. Police were looking into the possibility that Eladio Baule may have been a member of a rural cult known for chopping up its enemies.
Makes a change from the traditional wedding cake I guess!
Aug. 11 (Bloomberg) -- Four people in the western Philippines were arrested for murdering a wedding guest, roasting and eating parts of the body and serving some remains at the reception, Agence France-Presse reported, citing police.
Farm laborer Eladio Baule, his son Gerard Baule and nephews Sabtuary Pequi and Johnny Buyot allegedly killed Benjie Ganay on July 17 after Ganay accidentally touched Eladio Baule's daughter's bottom during her wedding party on the island of Palawan, the report said, citing Narra town police chief Senior Superintendent Perla Bacuel.
The four suspects, drunk at the time, set fire to Ganay's body, and Bacuel said the aroma of roasting flesh may have tempted the group to eat parts of the burned body, the report said. The father and son allegedly served some of the flesh to other guests, it said. The crime was discovered about eight days later, when the nephews confessed to police, it said.
Police are looking into the possibility that some of the suspects may have been involved in other disappearances in Palawan since the 1980s, AFP said. Police were looking into the possibility that Eladio Baule may have been a member of a rural cult known for chopping up its enemies.
Makes a change from the traditional wedding cake I guess!
EL NINO
The US is forecasting a 50% chance of an El Nino event this year. The last one, in 1997/8 caused huge damage and, depending on where in Asia or South America you were, huge floods, droughts and storms. Not fun.
It did however also cause a Los Angeles resident, Mr Al Nino, to receive hundreds of calls a day from people demanding to know why he was messing up the worlds weather and that he stop it immediately. One caller even blamed him for the callers daughter losing her virginity, though quite how he was to blame for this is unclear. Excellent story
The US is forecasting a 50% chance of an El Nino event this year. The last one, in 1997/8 caused huge damage and, depending on where in Asia or South America you were, huge floods, droughts and storms. Not fun.
It did however also cause a Los Angeles resident, Mr Al Nino, to receive hundreds of calls a day from people demanding to know why he was messing up the worlds weather and that he stop it immediately. One caller even blamed him for the callers daughter losing her virginity, though quite how he was to blame for this is unclear. Excellent story
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
TRI-NATIONS
And continuing the sporting theme, wasn't it good to see Brian Caplin, the referee in Saturdays Australia v New Zealand game reverse a penalty decision to award it against the Wallabies because of George Gregans constant chat and attempts to get a Kiwi sin-binned. Caplin asked him twice to shut up, and still Gregan kept going. He always was a gobby little shite. Perhaps now he'll leave referees alone - fat chance I suspect sadly.
And continuing the sporting theme, wasn't it good to see Brian Caplin, the referee in Saturdays Australia v New Zealand game reverse a penalty decision to award it against the Wallabies because of George Gregans constant chat and attempts to get a Kiwi sin-binned. Caplin asked him twice to shut up, and still Gregan kept going. He always was a gobby little shite. Perhaps now he'll leave referees alone - fat chance I suspect sadly.
Lance Armstrong May be Stripped of Tour de France Win?
CNN is reporting that Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his 6th Tour de France title.
In a random check for banned substances, 3 were found in Armstrong's hotel room.
The 3 substances banned by the French that were found in his hotel room were as follows:
(1) Toothpaste
(2) Deodorant
(3) Soap
The French officials also found several other items which they had never seen before including a testicle and a backbone.
(Thank you reader)
CNN is reporting that Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his 6th Tour de France title.
In a random check for banned substances, 3 were found in Armstrong's hotel room.
The 3 substances banned by the French that were found in his hotel room were as follows:
(1) Toothpaste
(2) Deodorant
(3) Soap
The French officials also found several other items which they had never seen before including a testicle and a backbone.
(Thank you reader)
Friday, August 06, 2004
GENGHIS IS ON A ROLL...
Follwoing on from his thoughts on Japanese superheroes below, we have have 2 more fine Genghisisms this morning...
On the new King Arthur movie - How can they do a remake of Arthur when Dudley Moore is dead?
To the Indian who sits opposite me - "are you going to commit suicide and hope you come back as something better?"
Follwoing on from his thoughts on Japanese superheroes below, we have have 2 more fine Genghisisms this morning...
On the new King Arthur movie - How can they do a remake of Arthur when Dudley Moore is dead?
To the Indian who sits opposite me - "are you going to commit suicide and hope you come back as something better?"
ANNIVERSARY
Today is the 59th anniversary of the dropping of the nuclear bomb on Hiroshima.
Unsurprisingly this act has caused a huge amount of controversy over the years, with many questioning whether it was necessary or justified and whether Japan was on the point of surrender anyway (my view is it was a big call but the right thing to do - how can anyone know what Japan would or would not have done if it hadn't been dropped - see "JOHN KERRY" below for similarly pointless conjecture after the event - and if they were on the point of surrender how come they didn't surrender immediately and it took the dropping of another bomb 3 days later to finally make them give in)
Genghis however has pointed out another big question which I think has not been sufficiently addressed. The sad lack of superpowers amongst the residents of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. We all know that radiation imbues people with superpowers - see Spiderman, Godzilla or The Fantastic Four as classic examples - so surely it is only a matter of time before someone turns up shooting lasers from their eyes or casually tossing cars around like confetti. Or did Superman already sort him out and I missed it?
Today is the 59th anniversary of the dropping of the nuclear bomb on Hiroshima.
Unsurprisingly this act has caused a huge amount of controversy over the years, with many questioning whether it was necessary or justified and whether Japan was on the point of surrender anyway (my view is it was a big call but the right thing to do - how can anyone know what Japan would or would not have done if it hadn't been dropped - see "JOHN KERRY" below for similarly pointless conjecture after the event - and if they were on the point of surrender how come they didn't surrender immediately and it took the dropping of another bomb 3 days later to finally make them give in)
Genghis however has pointed out another big question which I think has not been sufficiently addressed. The sad lack of superpowers amongst the residents of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. We all know that radiation imbues people with superpowers - see Spiderman, Godzilla or The Fantastic Four as classic examples - so surely it is only a matter of time before someone turns up shooting lasers from their eyes or casually tossing cars around like confetti. Or did Superman already sort him out and I missed it?
OLYMPICS
The first major whinge of the Olympics has started already, and surprise surprise it comes from the Aussies, who always complain about British whingeing but are no slouches themselves.
It seems the beach volleyball competition is going to be held at night under floodlights, and the aussie women (gold medal winners in 2000), who obviously are used to playing on the beach during the day, are complaining that this has been done to help the Greek team.
For once the Aussies may actually have a point, though I'm not sure it is the on they mean to make. they are implying that the Greek womens team are used to playing under lights so it will help them to have the competiton at night.
I suspect though it is actually because the night-time games will make it even harder to distinguish between Greek men and women than usual and so the Greeks are hoping to slip a couple of ringers in without anyone noticing. Even the odd moustache is going to be believable on a Greek womens team under the cover of night. Actually it would be in broad daylight too so perhaps trhey're hoping to get away with beards?
The first major whinge of the Olympics has started already, and surprise surprise it comes from the Aussies, who always complain about British whingeing but are no slouches themselves.
It seems the beach volleyball competition is going to be held at night under floodlights, and the aussie women (gold medal winners in 2000), who obviously are used to playing on the beach during the day, are complaining that this has been done to help the Greek team.
For once the Aussies may actually have a point, though I'm not sure it is the on they mean to make. they are implying that the Greek womens team are used to playing under lights so it will help them to have the competiton at night.
I suspect though it is actually because the night-time games will make it even harder to distinguish between Greek men and women than usual and so the Greeks are hoping to slip a couple of ringers in without anyone noticing. Even the odd moustache is going to be believable on a Greek womens team under the cover of night. Actually it would be in broad daylight too so perhaps trhey're hoping to get away with beards?
JOHN KERRY
At the risk of sounding like I support Dubbya, and I can assure you I don't - he's the biggest muppet ever to hold high office anywhere in the world, John Kerry's lresponse, to a question asking him what he would have done if it was him who had received news that planes had crashed into the World Trade Center, that he would have left the function he was attending immediately and not have waited is total crap.
How does he (or we) know what he would have done?
All he knows is what Bush did and he is bound to say the opposite as he has the benefit of hindsight and knows Bush's reaction has been widely criticised (for the record Dubya waited 5 to 7 minutes to finish a reading he was doing with school-children before leaving. It is not clear though who was reading for who as they were 7 year olds and therefore were probably ahead of the President in reading skills).
For all we know Kerry might have burst into tears and sobbed like a "girlie-man" ,to borrow a line from the Governor of California, or refused to believe it, or spent even longer with the children, or hid under a table, or awarded himself a purple heart for being in charge while America was attacked, the list of possibilities is endless.
The only certainty is neither he, nor we can know what he would have done, and anything he says otherwise on this question is complete bollocks.
At the risk of sounding like I support Dubbya, and I can assure you I don't - he's the biggest muppet ever to hold high office anywhere in the world, John Kerry's lresponse, to a question asking him what he would have done if it was him who had received news that planes had crashed into the World Trade Center, that he would have left the function he was attending immediately and not have waited is total crap.
How does he (or we) know what he would have done?
All he knows is what Bush did and he is bound to say the opposite as he has the benefit of hindsight and knows Bush's reaction has been widely criticised (for the record Dubya waited 5 to 7 minutes to finish a reading he was doing with school-children before leaving. It is not clear though who was reading for who as they were 7 year olds and therefore were probably ahead of the President in reading skills).
For all we know Kerry might have burst into tears and sobbed like a "girlie-man" ,to borrow a line from the Governor of California, or refused to believe it, or spent even longer with the children, or hid under a table, or awarded himself a purple heart for being in charge while America was attacked, the list of possibilities is endless.
The only certainty is neither he, nor we can know what he would have done, and anything he says otherwise on this question is complete bollocks.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
MORE LUDICROUS BEHAVIOUR!
Attila just announced that he paid US$2,000 to ship a crib from Australia to Tokyo when his first kid was born because Japanese ones "aren't safe". At the last count there were 126,824,166 people in Japan, but they can't keep a baby safe? He is worried that their cribs don't conform to "international standards" so the baby could get it's head stuck.
Eh? Surely that depends on the size (and stupidity) of your babies head than the crib?
Anyway he's happier here in Honkers because he's confident Bumps-to-Babes will sell "international standard" cribs. So he will go to the western baby shop, not the local one. The fact there are 1,300,000,000 Chinese, and they are therefore clearly able to get most kids at least as far as breeding age, does not cut any mustard.
And they say Americans are insular and don't understand the rest of the world?
Attila just announced that he paid US$2,000 to ship a crib from Australia to Tokyo when his first kid was born because Japanese ones "aren't safe". At the last count there were 126,824,166 people in Japan, but they can't keep a baby safe? He is worried that their cribs don't conform to "international standards" so the baby could get it's head stuck.
Eh? Surely that depends on the size (and stupidity) of your babies head than the crib?
Anyway he's happier here in Honkers because he's confident Bumps-to-Babes will sell "international standard" cribs. So he will go to the western baby shop, not the local one. The fact there are 1,300,000,000 Chinese, and they are therefore clearly able to get most kids at least as far as breeding age, does not cut any mustard.
And they say Americans are insular and don't understand the rest of the world?
BLACKBERRY
Most people are aware these days of the rise of the "blackberry" as an indispensable corporate tool, but for thoise who have never heard of it, it is a mobile email device which allows you to receive your corporate (or personal) emails while on the move. Most of us here at American Megabank have been issued with them and to be fair they do have their uses. But, as with mobile phones, it is easy to become hooked. It is common these days to see people in taxis, airports, shops, bars and restaurants surreptitiously looking at their blackberry in case an "important" email has come in in the 30 seconds since they last checked.
However yesterday morning I spotted a new low in blackberry addiciton. I got into the lift with a colleague at 7.50am. We are on the 18th floor. Not a long lift journey. During the journey he stared constantly at his blackberry "in case there is something urgent". What can be so urgent that you can't wait 30 seconds till you're at your desk and can read the emails on a full size screen instead of peering at an overblown mobile phone screen. If it was that urgent surely someone would call you?
Ludicrous.
Most people are aware these days of the rise of the "blackberry" as an indispensable corporate tool, but for thoise who have never heard of it, it is a mobile email device which allows you to receive your corporate (or personal) emails while on the move. Most of us here at American Megabank have been issued with them and to be fair they do have their uses. But, as with mobile phones, it is easy to become hooked. It is common these days to see people in taxis, airports, shops, bars and restaurants surreptitiously looking at their blackberry in case an "important" email has come in in the 30 seconds since they last checked.
However yesterday morning I spotted a new low in blackberry addiciton. I got into the lift with a colleague at 7.50am. We are on the 18th floor. Not a long lift journey. During the journey he stared constantly at his blackberry "in case there is something urgent". What can be so urgent that you can't wait 30 seconds till you're at your desk and can read the emails on a full size screen instead of peering at an overblown mobile phone screen. If it was that urgent surely someone would call you?
Ludicrous.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
THOUGHTS FROM MUD ISLAND – A TALE OF TWO CITIES (except 1’s a town)
Have done a bit of pondering on my trip to Cambridge and London and my feelings on the UK from it are…
The good points….
Long sunny summer evenings.
Pimms (esp with punting)
Punting (esp with Pimms)
The Eagle, Cambridge
The Maharaja Curry House on Castle Hill in Cambridge (fortunately they had forgotten we were barred – it was 15 years ago though so it would have been impressive if they had remembered)
Test Match Special (and Richie Benaud on Channel 4)
The bad points…
Fat, pasty, sweaty people displaying far too much of their wobbly white flesh
Dirty. Actually filthy
Expensive (25 quid for a cab from Kings Cross to Chelsea!)
Service in all restaurants, hotels and bars was terrible.
Crime. (they are now giving powers to schools to install metal detectors because a schoolkid brought a carving knife to school and stabbed and killed a fellow pupil for no particular reason).
Traffic. Was in a jam within 15 mins of arriving.
Overall. Outside London was great, but London itself was horrific. Did I really spend 12 years there? Has confirmed my view though that any potential return is getting further and further away. English winters are miserable, and the summer in the country is wonderful, but I’m not sure that’s enough to make up for the winter, especially as summer in the UK is so unreliable. Everyone at the wedding said that summer basically started the day before I arrived and it had been miserable up till then. I miss friends but if I never see London or an English winter again that’s just fine.
Have done a bit of pondering on my trip to Cambridge and London and my feelings on the UK from it are…
The good points….
Long sunny summer evenings.
Pimms (esp with punting)
Punting (esp with Pimms)
The Eagle, Cambridge
The Maharaja Curry House on Castle Hill in Cambridge (fortunately they had forgotten we were barred – it was 15 years ago though so it would have been impressive if they had remembered)
Test Match Special (and Richie Benaud on Channel 4)
The bad points…
Fat, pasty, sweaty people displaying far too much of their wobbly white flesh
Dirty. Actually filthy
Expensive (25 quid for a cab from Kings Cross to Chelsea!)
Service in all restaurants, hotels and bars was terrible.
Crime. (they are now giving powers to schools to install metal detectors because a schoolkid brought a carving knife to school and stabbed and killed a fellow pupil for no particular reason).
Traffic. Was in a jam within 15 mins of arriving.
Overall. Outside London was great, but London itself was horrific. Did I really spend 12 years there? Has confirmed my view though that any potential return is getting further and further away. English winters are miserable, and the summer in the country is wonderful, but I’m not sure that’s enough to make up for the winter, especially as summer in the UK is so unreliable. Everyone at the wedding said that summer basically started the day before I arrived and it had been miserable up till then. I miss friends but if I never see London or an English winter again that’s just fine.
HONG KONG -- Help Wanted: No experience necessary. But nudity and passion required.
Officials of a Hong Kong job fair gave a porno filmmaker the boot. Producer Tommy Wong says he can't understand why the organizers were so embarrassed. He says he was up-front about the jobs he was offering.
Wong adds there's nothing illegal about the films he makes. Wong says he wants to help the Hong Kong economy, which is suffering from high unemployment.
Wong notes Hong Kong is losing out to the porno-makers in Japan and South Korea. But organizers of the job fair say young people should look for jobs of a better ethical standard.
From the Associated Press
Officials of a Hong Kong job fair gave a porno filmmaker the boot. Producer Tommy Wong says he can't understand why the organizers were so embarrassed. He says he was up-front about the jobs he was offering.
Wong adds there's nothing illegal about the films he makes. Wong says he wants to help the Hong Kong economy, which is suffering from high unemployment.
Wong notes Hong Kong is losing out to the porno-makers in Japan and South Korea. But organizers of the job fair say young people should look for jobs of a better ethical standard.
From the Associated Press
DAMN
Just typed out a long post on my trip and then the bloody machine packed up! Can't be bothered to type it all again. Suffice to say London is an expensive, dangerous, slum, Cambridge was great, and the wedding went off ok (bride and groom are still talking to me so best man bit must have gone ok). Lots of old pals there so much fun and beer had by all.
All in all. I had a good time, but I still don't miss the UK despite the odd twinge of nostalgia (mainly in Cambridge for days that are long gone and about the cricket where we're finally winning again).
Oh - and no my trousers didn't fit. Had to hire some more from Moss Bros.
Just typed out a long post on my trip and then the bloody machine packed up! Can't be bothered to type it all again. Suffice to say London is an expensive, dangerous, slum, Cambridge was great, and the wedding went off ok (bride and groom are still talking to me so best man bit must have gone ok). Lots of old pals there so much fun and beer had by all.
All in all. I had a good time, but I still don't miss the UK despite the odd twinge of nostalgia (mainly in Cambridge for days that are long gone and about the cricket where we're finally winning again).
Oh - and no my trousers didn't fit. Had to hire some more from Moss Bros.