COUNTDOWN TO THE OLYMPICS – THE CHAOS CONTINUES
The stadium is still not finished. The roof is still not in place. The train link from the airport to the stadium will not be finished in time.
And now it looks like even if the concrete has set in time, and the roof is on, and the hoped-for crowds have managed to find their way to the stadium, they will have nothing to sit on.
SYDNEY, May 27 (AFP) - Athens organisers have cancelled a contract with an Australian firm to supply seats for the Olympic stadium just days after Canberra was accused of stirring up trouble, officials said Thursday.
New South Wales-based company Starena International signed a 2.4 million US dollar contract in April to supply 75,000 seats for the main Olympic arena, using its expertise of supplying seats for Sydney in 2000 and the summer Games in Atlanta in 1996.
Starena managing director, Noel Carty, said at the time it would take a "military-style operation" to supply the seats on time for the August 13 opening ceremony but he was confident Athens organisers would deliver a "fantastic Games".
The Sydney Morning Herald newspaper reported a decision on a replacement supplier was yet to be made, just 80 days before the Games begin.
The Premier of News South Wales state, Bob Carr, said he was disappointed Athens organisers had cancelled the contract.
He said he did not know if the decision related to recent criticism of Australia's decision to beef up its travel warning to Greece in the wake of explosions in Athens three weeks ago.
"I haven't advice on that," Mr Carr told public radio.
Gianna Angelopoulos-Daskalaki, chairwoman of the Athens organising committee, told a security conference this week that criticising security measures would only encourage extremists to take their chances with an attack on the summer Games.
She singled out Australia for issing the travel warning, saying: "I worry that harm is being done to the Olympic Games".
"The decision (to cancel the seats contract) had nothing to do with this issue," said an ATHOC spokesman on condition of anonymity, without offering further details on the reasons for the cancellation.
The stadium contract has now been handed to a Greek firm.
"We were told to carry out the (seats) contract ten days ago," said Costas Mathiopoulos of Greek firm Aktor, which leads the constructors' consortium in charge of works at the stadium.
"The seats are manufactured abroad and will start arriving next week. They will all have been installed around mid-July," Mathiopoulos told AFP.
Hands up all those who think a Greek company will be able to get the seats in the country, let alone in the stadium, in time for the games.
Normally I think the Olympics is one of the dullest sporting events on the planet, confining my viewing to the 10 seconds of action that is the Mens 100m, but this year it’s shaping up to be a real cracker, for all the wrong reasons.
I think Athens should host it for ever. This is much more fun than the dull Sydney Olympics where nothing went wrong at all.
Friday, May 28, 2004
AsiaXpat
It seems everyone who is anyone is doing this, so I thought I'd do it too in the hope of becoming someone. After all what true Hong Konger can resist the herd instinct.
It seems everyone who is anyone is doing this, so I thought I'd do it too in the hope of becoming someone. After all what true Hong Konger can resist the herd instinct.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
SINGAPORE - PARTY TOWN
Do you have a licence for that gum?
By John Aglionby
Singapore
May 27, 2004
The good news for Singapore's secret army of clandestine chewers: gum is going on sale legally for the first time in 12 years. The bad news: if you want some, you will have to register as a gum user and show an identity card every time you buy a packet.
The arch-symbol of the American way of life was outlawed by Singapore's senior minister Lee Kuan Yew in 1992.
He took the unique measure in outrage at the splats of used gum dotting the country's otherwise pristine streets.
Nineteen "medicinal" brands of gum, such as Nicorettes (nicotine gum to help chewers quit smoking), will now be available as part of a free trade agreement with the US, but only on strict and tightly policed conditions.
Anyone found trading illicitly will risk two years in jail and a $S5000 ($A4117) fine.
Sale is also limited to chemists, with some brands at prices designed to deter non-medicinal use.
The relaxation will be welcomed by US visitors to Singapore, who take pride in the global success - and remarkable history - of chewing gum. The jaw-exercising goo is so honoured in the US that the role of the Mexican general Santa Anna, conqueror of Davy Crockett at the Alamo and national enemy number one in his day, is acknowledged. He introduced gum's inventor Thomas Adams to its main ingredient, Mexican chicle root, in 1860.
Singapore's cautious move has met considerable mockery, with many locals highlighting the fact that prostitution is less regulated than gum. The Straits Times newspaper, widely regarded as a Government mouthpiece, gave the only brief report of the new rules, which focused on cleaning companies' intense dislike of gum splats.
"Gum is gum, whether it's for smokers or not," Colim Lim, managing director of Tapisteam Cleaning Services, told the paper. "Coffee and other stains are bad enough. Having to remove gum stuck on carpet and floors is an awful task."
From The Age - kindly pointed out by my loyal reader.
Do you have a licence for that gum?
By John Aglionby
Singapore
May 27, 2004
The good news for Singapore's secret army of clandestine chewers: gum is going on sale legally for the first time in 12 years. The bad news: if you want some, you will have to register as a gum user and show an identity card every time you buy a packet.
The arch-symbol of the American way of life was outlawed by Singapore's senior minister Lee Kuan Yew in 1992.
He took the unique measure in outrage at the splats of used gum dotting the country's otherwise pristine streets.
Nineteen "medicinal" brands of gum, such as Nicorettes (nicotine gum to help chewers quit smoking), will now be available as part of a free trade agreement with the US, but only on strict and tightly policed conditions.
Anyone found trading illicitly will risk two years in jail and a $S5000 ($A4117) fine.
Sale is also limited to chemists, with some brands at prices designed to deter non-medicinal use.
The relaxation will be welcomed by US visitors to Singapore, who take pride in the global success - and remarkable history - of chewing gum. The jaw-exercising goo is so honoured in the US that the role of the Mexican general Santa Anna, conqueror of Davy Crockett at the Alamo and national enemy number one in his day, is acknowledged. He introduced gum's inventor Thomas Adams to its main ingredient, Mexican chicle root, in 1860.
Singapore's cautious move has met considerable mockery, with many locals highlighting the fact that prostitution is less regulated than gum. The Straits Times newspaper, widely regarded as a Government mouthpiece, gave the only brief report of the new rules, which focused on cleaning companies' intense dislike of gum splats.
"Gum is gum, whether it's for smokers or not," Colim Lim, managing director of Tapisteam Cleaning Services, told the paper. "Coffee and other stains are bad enough. Having to remove gum stuck on carpet and floors is an awful task."
From The Age - kindly pointed out by my loyal reader.
BRITISH ROYALTY - WHAT CLASS
Genghis pointed this out to me this morning - a story from the New York Post that Princess Michael (called Princess Bigot by the Post but better known to most Brits as Princess Pushy) has yet again shown the deep empathy British royalty enjoys with both its current and former colonial subjects by telling a table of black diners in a New York restaurant who she felt were making too much noise to "go back to the colonies".
The full story is here
Ignoring for a moment the fact that I think Gibraltar is pretty much the only colony we have left, and that if she was referring to ex-colonies then they were already in one, it is another in a long line of magnificent racial tolerance and understanding exemplified by British Royalty.
However, while Princess Michaels comments may seem bigoted and offensive to the average man on the top deck of the clapham omnibus (lawyers will understand), in terms of British Royalty she is merely an amateur. For true offence you have go to the top – not the Queen but her charming side-kick Phil the Greek.
It’s always worth reliving a few of his greatest moments and Princess Michael has given me the opportunity to remind you of the following, shamelessly “copy and paste”d from the BBC website
During a state visit to China in 1986, he famously told a group of British students: "If you stay here much longer, you'll be all slitty-eyed!"
In 2001 he told a 13-year-old schoolboy he was 'too fat' to become an astronaut.
More recently he joked that the answer to London's traffic congestion was to 'ban tourists'.
Speaking to a driving instructor in Oban, Scotland: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?"
To an Australian Aborigine during a visit in March 2002: "Still throwing spears?"
On cuisine in 1966: "British women can't cook."
During the 1981 recession: "Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed."
Sharing a joke with a blind, wheelchair-bound girl with a guide-dog: "Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?"
Commenting on modern stress counselling for servicemen in 1995: "We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun, asking 'Are you all right? Are you sure you don't have a ghastly problem?' "
Responding to calls for a firearm ban after the Dunblane shooting: "If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?"
Referring to an old-fashioned fusebox in a factory near Edinburgh in 1999: "It looks as if it was put in by an Indian."
Referring to a Cambridge University car park attendant who failed to recognise him in 1997: "Bloody silly fool!"
Talking to young deaf people in Cardiff about the school's steel band: "Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf."
During a 1984 visit to Kenya, he's presented with a small gift from a native woman: "You are a woman, aren't you?"
Accepting a conservation award in Thailand in 1991: "Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species in the world."
When asked to stroke a Koala bear in Australia in 1992: "Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease."
Speaking to a Briton in Budapest in 1993: "You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly!"
Speaking to an islander in the Cayman Islands in 1994: "Aren't most of you descended from pirates?"
Speaking to a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea: "You managed not to get eaten then?"
At a 1986 World Wildlife Fund meeting: "If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it."
Pointing at 14-year-old Shahin Ullah during a visit to a London youth club: "He looks as if he is on drugs!"
There. Now Princess Pushy/Bigot knows what she's up against!
Genghis pointed this out to me this morning - a story from the New York Post that Princess Michael (called Princess Bigot by the Post but better known to most Brits as Princess Pushy) has yet again shown the deep empathy British royalty enjoys with both its current and former colonial subjects by telling a table of black diners in a New York restaurant who she felt were making too much noise to "go back to the colonies".
The full story is here
Ignoring for a moment the fact that I think Gibraltar is pretty much the only colony we have left, and that if she was referring to ex-colonies then they were already in one, it is another in a long line of magnificent racial tolerance and understanding exemplified by British Royalty.
However, while Princess Michaels comments may seem bigoted and offensive to the average man on the top deck of the clapham omnibus (lawyers will understand), in terms of British Royalty she is merely an amateur. For true offence you have go to the top – not the Queen but her charming side-kick Phil the Greek.
It’s always worth reliving a few of his greatest moments and Princess Michael has given me the opportunity to remind you of the following, shamelessly “copy and paste”d from the BBC website
During a state visit to China in 1986, he famously told a group of British students: "If you stay here much longer, you'll be all slitty-eyed!"
In 2001 he told a 13-year-old schoolboy he was 'too fat' to become an astronaut.
More recently he joked that the answer to London's traffic congestion was to 'ban tourists'.
Speaking to a driving instructor in Oban, Scotland: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?"
To an Australian Aborigine during a visit in March 2002: "Still throwing spears?"
On cuisine in 1966: "British women can't cook."
During the 1981 recession: "Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed."
Sharing a joke with a blind, wheelchair-bound girl with a guide-dog: "Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?"
Commenting on modern stress counselling for servicemen in 1995: "We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun, asking 'Are you all right? Are you sure you don't have a ghastly problem?' "
Responding to calls for a firearm ban after the Dunblane shooting: "If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?"
Referring to an old-fashioned fusebox in a factory near Edinburgh in 1999: "It looks as if it was put in by an Indian."
Referring to a Cambridge University car park attendant who failed to recognise him in 1997: "Bloody silly fool!"
Talking to young deaf people in Cardiff about the school's steel band: "Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf."
During a 1984 visit to Kenya, he's presented with a small gift from a native woman: "You are a woman, aren't you?"
Accepting a conservation award in Thailand in 1991: "Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species in the world."
When asked to stroke a Koala bear in Australia in 1992: "Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease."
Speaking to a Briton in Budapest in 1993: "You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly!"
Speaking to an islander in the Cayman Islands in 1994: "Aren't most of you descended from pirates?"
Speaking to a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea: "You managed not to get eaten then?"
At a 1986 World Wildlife Fund meeting: "If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it."
Pointing at 14-year-old Shahin Ullah during a visit to a London youth club: "He looks as if he is on drugs!"
There. Now Princess Pushy/Bigot knows what she's up against!
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
INSURANCE - AXA HONG KONG - PART II
Told you this would be a long one...
The brokers have now said..."After lengthy negotiation with your motor insurers AXA General, they eventually agreed to make a concession to apply only 5% depreciation to your vehicle. They also advised that this case is being handled on special case basis and will not form any precedent in the future."
They started at 10% so at least there is some progress.
Told you this would be a long one...
The brokers have now said..."After lengthy negotiation with your motor insurers AXA General, they eventually agreed to make a concession to apply only 5% depreciation to your vehicle. They also advised that this case is being handled on special case basis and will not form any precedent in the future."
They started at 10% so at least there is some progress.
STUPID CELEBRITY BABY NAMES
Chris at OrdinaryGweilo in particular has spotted a few great celebrity baby names. I would like to add another to his list. The actress Helen Hunt (she of american sitcom fame) has given birth to a daughter called "MaKena lei Gordon Carnahan". Now to be fair the fathger is Matthew Carnahan so having his surname is ok. but MaKena? with 2 capital letters? and lei with none? and Gordon???????
Her schooldays will be a living hell.
Chris at OrdinaryGweilo in particular has spotted a few great celebrity baby names. I would like to add another to his list. The actress Helen Hunt (she of american sitcom fame) has given birth to a daughter called "MaKena lei Gordon Carnahan". Now to be fair the fathger is Matthew Carnahan so having his surname is ok. but MaKena? with 2 capital letters? and lei with none? and Gordon???????
Her schooldays will be a living hell.
TODAYS GENGHIS'ISM
Yes it's early, but already I think we have 2 classics...
On Spanish Prime Minister Zapatero - "I hope he gets colon cancer and dies"
On Philipinne Presidential candidate and terrible actor Fernando Poe Jr - "someone should shoot him in the legs and make sure he knows it really hurts, not like in his fucking movies"
Yes it's early, but already I think we have 2 classics...
On Spanish Prime Minister Zapatero - "I hope he gets colon cancer and dies"
On Philipinne Presidential candidate and terrible actor Fernando Poe Jr - "someone should shoot him in the legs and make sure he knows it really hurts, not like in his fucking movies"
INSURANCE - NEVER EVER USE AXA HONG KONG - PART I
Yesterday I was feeling singularly uninspired, and working on the old addage of "if you have nothing to say, say nothing" I decided to remain silent. Then at about 5.30pm a whole new ranting possibility was delivered to me on a plate. I didn't want to comment last night as at the time I was so angry and disbelieving I would have struggled to make any sort of sense. This morning I am still angry and disbelieving but hopefully a little more coherent.
A few days ago Mrs C had a minor mishap in the family chariot. Unfortunately the mishap occured on a rather steep hill in Hong Kong and a combination of a shaken Mrs C, an open door, a feeble handbrake, and an unfortunately positioned fire hydrant means the chariot now has 1 fewer doors than originally specified by the maufacturer.
We whistled up the local chariot repair company who whisked the chariot and it's now-seperated door away, and contacted the insurance company. The garage told us that the door had been damaged beyond repair and a new one was required. The insurance company sent an assessor along and he agreed.
So off we go you may think?
The door is ordered. The part arrives. Is put on the car. I pay the excess, the insurance company pays the rest and Robert's your mothers brother. Easy.
If only.
Yes the garage can go ahead and order the part, fit it and repair the car, BUT, and it's a huge BUT, they then tell me that on top of the excess of HK$7,000 I have to pay HK$750 because the door that is being replaced was 3 yrs old, and door that is doing the replacing is new, therefore there is a depreciation charge as the insurance covers the cost of like-for-like.
Am I alone in thinking this is complete bollocks?
Has anyone else come across anything like this before in Hong Kong when making a claim?
I have insured the whole car, not each individual part. If a part is damaged it gets replaced with a new one. That's what insurance does. And where the hell am i supposed to get a light blue 3yr old door for a LandRover in Hong Kong? And if a 3yr old car door is available then it means that the car it comes from has been written off. Why would i want a car door from a written off car? It may be damaged but not been recognised? This car is driven by my 5mth pregnant wife with my 10mth old son in the back. I don't want them driving round in a car with a potentially damaged door that may fly open at any given moment.
The insurance broker I have been dealing with assures me this is standard practice in Hong Kong, and a quick read of the policy reveals an exclusion that specifies that "The company will not be liable in respect of depreciation wear and tear mechanical or electrical breakdown failure or breakage" - that's fine - I'm not trying to claim depreciation, I'm trying to claim for accident damage which to my mind is specifically covered by... "the Company will indemnify the insured against loss of or or damge to the Motor Car and/or its accessories and/or its spare parts whilst thereon. The Company may, at its option, repair reinstate or replace the Motor Car and/or its accessories and/or its spare parts or pay in cash the amount of such loss or damage."
I would suggest that anyone who is has a car in Hong Kong has a look at their insurance policy and a chat with their agent to make sure of where they stand.
(On a seperate but related note, never ever buy a LandRover Freelander. The thing works but there are lots of niggly problems with it, the finish and trim are cheap and bits have a habit of falling off, the rear window goes up and down with a mind of its own and the road noise is unbelievable. Worst car I ever owned and I have had a few.)
I have a feeling this one could run and run. Prepare for regular updates.
Yesterday I was feeling singularly uninspired, and working on the old addage of "if you have nothing to say, say nothing" I decided to remain silent. Then at about 5.30pm a whole new ranting possibility was delivered to me on a plate. I didn't want to comment last night as at the time I was so angry and disbelieving I would have struggled to make any sort of sense. This morning I am still angry and disbelieving but hopefully a little more coherent.
A few days ago Mrs C had a minor mishap in the family chariot. Unfortunately the mishap occured on a rather steep hill in Hong Kong and a combination of a shaken Mrs C, an open door, a feeble handbrake, and an unfortunately positioned fire hydrant means the chariot now has 1 fewer doors than originally specified by the maufacturer.
We whistled up the local chariot repair company who whisked the chariot and it's now-seperated door away, and contacted the insurance company. The garage told us that the door had been damaged beyond repair and a new one was required. The insurance company sent an assessor along and he agreed.
So off we go you may think?
The door is ordered. The part arrives. Is put on the car. I pay the excess, the insurance company pays the rest and Robert's your mothers brother. Easy.
If only.
Yes the garage can go ahead and order the part, fit it and repair the car, BUT, and it's a huge BUT, they then tell me that on top of the excess of HK$7,000 I have to pay HK$750 because the door that is being replaced was 3 yrs old, and door that is doing the replacing is new, therefore there is a depreciation charge as the insurance covers the cost of like-for-like.
Am I alone in thinking this is complete bollocks?
Has anyone else come across anything like this before in Hong Kong when making a claim?
I have insured the whole car, not each individual part. If a part is damaged it gets replaced with a new one. That's what insurance does. And where the hell am i supposed to get a light blue 3yr old door for a LandRover in Hong Kong? And if a 3yr old car door is available then it means that the car it comes from has been written off. Why would i want a car door from a written off car? It may be damaged but not been recognised? This car is driven by my 5mth pregnant wife with my 10mth old son in the back. I don't want them driving round in a car with a potentially damaged door that may fly open at any given moment.
The insurance broker I have been dealing with assures me this is standard practice in Hong Kong, and a quick read of the policy reveals an exclusion that specifies that "The company will not be liable in respect of depreciation wear and tear mechanical or electrical breakdown failure or breakage" - that's fine - I'm not trying to claim depreciation, I'm trying to claim for accident damage which to my mind is specifically covered by... "the Company will indemnify the insured against loss of or or damge to the Motor Car and/or its accessories and/or its spare parts whilst thereon. The Company may, at its option, repair reinstate or replace the Motor Car and/or its accessories and/or its spare parts or pay in cash the amount of such loss or damage."
I would suggest that anyone who is has a car in Hong Kong has a look at their insurance policy and a chat with their agent to make sure of where they stand.
(On a seperate but related note, never ever buy a LandRover Freelander. The thing works but there are lots of niggly problems with it, the finish and trim are cheap and bits have a habit of falling off, the rear window goes up and down with a mind of its own and the road noise is unbelievable. Worst car I ever owned and I have had a few.)
I have a feeling this one could run and run. Prepare for regular updates.
Friday, May 21, 2004
CHINESE MEDICINE
2 cautionary tales to contemplate before anyone decides to dabble in Chinese medicine...
from Bloomberg -
A patient in southern China nearly died after being told by his doctor to eat six raw frogs a day in an attempt to cure his illness, a news report said Thursday.
The man from Meizhuo, Guangdong province, followed the prescription for 20 days, gulping down a total of more than 130 frogs to try to cure his cervical vertebra illness.
He eventually fell seriously ill and was told by surgeons the treatment had nearly killed him, according to the Hong Kong edition of the China Daily. The man plans to sue the doctor.
and from todays SCMP -
A teacher at a Shizhu county primary school was forced to apologise after distributing 120 bottles and asking children to urinate in them, the Chongqing Evening News reports. The teacher, a martial arts fan, said he wanted to make a medicine out of urine mixed with alcohol and vinegar to strengthen his kung fu powers. After outraged parents complained to the school, local authorities told the teacher to throw the mixture away.
At least that explains the smell of the chinese medicine drunk by the woman who used to sit next to me. It actually used to make me feel sick, but not as sick as I feel now.
2 cautionary tales to contemplate before anyone decides to dabble in Chinese medicine...
from Bloomberg -
A patient in southern China nearly died after being told by his doctor to eat six raw frogs a day in an attempt to cure his illness, a news report said Thursday.
The man from Meizhuo, Guangdong province, followed the prescription for 20 days, gulping down a total of more than 130 frogs to try to cure his cervical vertebra illness.
He eventually fell seriously ill and was told by surgeons the treatment had nearly killed him, according to the Hong Kong edition of the China Daily. The man plans to sue the doctor.
and from todays SCMP -
A teacher at a Shizhu county primary school was forced to apologise after distributing 120 bottles and asking children to urinate in them, the Chongqing Evening News reports. The teacher, a martial arts fan, said he wanted to make a medicine out of urine mixed with alcohol and vinegar to strengthen his kung fu powers. After outraged parents complained to the school, local authorities told the teacher to throw the mixture away.
At least that explains the smell of the chinese medicine drunk by the woman who used to sit next to me. It actually used to make me feel sick, but not as sick as I feel now.
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
BREAKFAST
As some of you may remember I am very particular about my breakfast, and especially so when it comes to the topping on my toast. for the last few weeks I have been making do with Chivers Olde English Thick Cut Marmalade as an adequate substitute for the one true marmalade - Frank Coopers Original Thick Cut English Marmalade. Chivers do make a good product, but in the final analysis only Frank Coopers finest really cuts the mustard (so to speak).
Clearly my moaning about the lack of the real thing had started to grate on Mrs Cs nerves because unbeknown to me she had put a note in the suggestion box of the local Wellcome supermarket requesting they get some in quick.
Well guess what.
Not only did they get some, they called my wife to say so! You don't get service like that back in blighty. Off she trotted and there it was. Two 12 jar packs on the shelf just waiting to be snapped up. Except now there is only one pack. The other is sitting next to the coffee in our kitchen.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm - breakfast......
As some of you may remember I am very particular about my breakfast, and especially so when it comes to the topping on my toast. for the last few weeks I have been making do with Chivers Olde English Thick Cut Marmalade as an adequate substitute for the one true marmalade - Frank Coopers Original Thick Cut English Marmalade. Chivers do make a good product, but in the final analysis only Frank Coopers finest really cuts the mustard (so to speak).
Clearly my moaning about the lack of the real thing had started to grate on Mrs Cs nerves because unbeknown to me she had put a note in the suggestion box of the local Wellcome supermarket requesting they get some in quick.
Well guess what.
Not only did they get some, they called my wife to say so! You don't get service like that back in blighty. Off she trotted and there it was. Two 12 jar packs on the shelf just waiting to be snapped up. Except now there is only one pack. The other is sitting next to the coffee in our kitchen.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm - breakfast......
DOH!
LONDON, May 18 (UPI) -- A German husband and wife were sent to sex therapy
after admitting to doctors at a fertility clinic that they had never made love.
The husband, 36, and his wife, 32, thought all they had to do to make a baby
was to lie next to each other and something would happen, the Mirror reported
Tuesday.
When nothing besides sleep happened, they saved $12,460 and went to an in-vitro
fertilization clinic at the University of Luebeck in Germany.
"We're not talking about retards here, but a couple who were brought up in a
strict religious environment who simply did not know how babies were created,"
said a clinic spokesman.
"It was only after they were subjected to a battery of tests and both were
found to be perfectly fertile that we asked them how often they had sex.
"The husband said, 'We're not exactly sure what you mean.'"
The couple are now in a sexual therapy course.
LONDON, May 18 (UPI) -- A German husband and wife were sent to sex therapy
after admitting to doctors at a fertility clinic that they had never made love.
The husband, 36, and his wife, 32, thought all they had to do to make a baby
was to lie next to each other and something would happen, the Mirror reported
Tuesday.
When nothing besides sleep happened, they saved $12,460 and went to an in-vitro
fertilization clinic at the University of Luebeck in Germany.
"We're not talking about retards here, but a couple who were brought up in a
strict religious environment who simply did not know how babies were created,"
said a clinic spokesman.
"It was only after they were subjected to a battery of tests and both were
found to be perfectly fertile that we asked them how often they had sex.
"The husband said, 'We're not exactly sure what you mean.'"
The couple are now in a sexual therapy course.
TEE HEE HEE
HELENSBURGH, Scotland, May 17 (UPI) -- A would-be diesel fuel thief in Scotland who tried siphoning fuel from a camper put the hose into the wrong outlet and got a mouthful of raw sewage instead.
Glasgow retirees John O'Hare and his wife, May, wrapped up a week of traveling Scotland with an overnight campout Saturday. When O'Hare stepped out of the van Sunday morning, he found a puddle of vomit and an abandoned gas container.
The bungling thief had put the hose into the septic tank instead of the fuel tank, The Daily Record said.
The thief apparently lost not only his lunch, but his lunch money -- abandoned at the scene was a pile of coins that O'Hare said were likely stolen from a vending machine earlier in the night.
HELENSBURGH, Scotland, May 17 (UPI) -- A would-be diesel fuel thief in Scotland who tried siphoning fuel from a camper put the hose into the wrong outlet and got a mouthful of raw sewage instead.
Glasgow retirees John O'Hare and his wife, May, wrapped up a week of traveling Scotland with an overnight campout Saturday. When O'Hare stepped out of the van Sunday morning, he found a puddle of vomit and an abandoned gas container.
The bungling thief had put the hose into the septic tank instead of the fuel tank, The Daily Record said.
The thief apparently lost not only his lunch, but his lunch money -- abandoned at the scene was a pile of coins that O'Hare said were likely stolen from a vending machine earlier in the night.
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
HARBOURFEST
The few serious bloggers seem to be making a song and dance about the HarbourFest report. It blames everyone in sight for incompetence and waste, and everyone is jumping on the bandwagon.
Well I would just like to say that I disagree entirely.
Sure it wasn’t perfect but, for the record,
I THOROUGHLY ENJOYED HARBOURFEST.
I WISH THEY’D DO IT ANNUALLY.
And the “waste”? It’s only HK$100mln for Pete’s sake. That’s a drop in the ocean. The HK government budget for 2004/5 expects expenditure to be HK$252,860mln this year, and revenue to be HK$203,837mln. $100mm barely touches the sides. It is 0.004% of expenditure or 0.005% of revenue depending on how you look at it.
Perhaps if they stuck with HarbourFest and made it an annual event, and cleaned up dome of last years problems, then it might start to feature on major bands international schedules and become an annual tourist draw in the manner of the Sevens.
But no. Short-term’ism, as always, wins the day. A little bit of money was lost and no-one can see past the end of their noses to the bigger possibilitles so they're all bleating and whining like a bunch of kids.
WELL YOU’RE ALL MAD. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH HARBOURFEST IS THAT IT WAS A ONE-OFF, NOT A REGUALR EVENT.
The few serious bloggers seem to be making a song and dance about the HarbourFest report. It blames everyone in sight for incompetence and waste, and everyone is jumping on the bandwagon.
Well I would just like to say that I disagree entirely.
Sure it wasn’t perfect but, for the record,
I THOROUGHLY ENJOYED HARBOURFEST.
I WISH THEY’D DO IT ANNUALLY.
And the “waste”? It’s only HK$100mln for Pete’s sake. That’s a drop in the ocean. The HK government budget for 2004/5 expects expenditure to be HK$252,860mln this year, and revenue to be HK$203,837mln. $100mm barely touches the sides. It is 0.004% of expenditure or 0.005% of revenue depending on how you look at it.
Perhaps if they stuck with HarbourFest and made it an annual event, and cleaned up dome of last years problems, then it might start to feature on major bands international schedules and become an annual tourist draw in the manner of the Sevens.
But no. Short-term’ism, as always, wins the day. A little bit of money was lost and no-one can see past the end of their noses to the bigger possibilitles so they're all bleating and whining like a bunch of kids.
WELL YOU’RE ALL MAD. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH HARBOURFEST IS THAT IT WAS A ONE-OFF, NOT A REGUALR EVENT.
THE WORLD HAS GONE MAD(DER)
A brief surf through the BBC website reveals that the world is quietly disappearing up it's own backside.
Indians, after years of strong economic growth and rising liing standards promtped by economic liberalistation and privatisation of nationalised industries, have voted out their economic saviour and voted in a bunch of interventionists and communists (Who on earth votes FOR communists these days - how stupid do you have to be?)
Gay couples are legally getting married in the States (I am against this but can't explain why - it's just a gut feeling)
Israel is busy firing rockets into refugee camps
Thailand is buying Liverpool Football Club
Ludicrous.
A brief surf through the BBC website reveals that the world is quietly disappearing up it's own backside.
Indians, after years of strong economic growth and rising liing standards promtped by economic liberalistation and privatisation of nationalised industries, have voted out their economic saviour and voted in a bunch of interventionists and communists (Who on earth votes FOR communists these days - how stupid do you have to be?)
Gay couples are legally getting married in the States (I am against this but can't explain why - it's just a gut feeling)
Israel is busy firing rockets into refugee camps
Thailand is buying Liverpool Football Club
Ludicrous.
TECHNOLOGY - PART XMLXVCLXMIV (I've lost count)
So - after 3 days of playing around I finally got the laptop to acknowledge the existence of the card reader for my MP3 player. Hurrah. I had been round the same set of songs about 4 times and was starting to get a bit desperate!
BUT - as always.... there is a downside. The external CD Drive/Burner is back on the "doesn't exist" list. My laptop acknowledges there is a driver but says there is some problem with it. I have now reached the point where I no longer care and am going to use this as an excuse to go out and buy a new external drive and get a CD and DVD Reader/Burner to replace it.
Hopefully this will finally end this saga.
And next time it goes haywire I'm just going to throw the damn thing away and buy a new version of everything - it may be more expensive but it has to be easier than going through this pain.
So - after 3 days of playing around I finally got the laptop to acknowledge the existence of the card reader for my MP3 player. Hurrah. I had been round the same set of songs about 4 times and was starting to get a bit desperate!
BUT - as always.... there is a downside. The external CD Drive/Burner is back on the "doesn't exist" list. My laptop acknowledges there is a driver but says there is some problem with it. I have now reached the point where I no longer care and am going to use this as an excuse to go out and buy a new external drive and get a CD and DVD Reader/Burner to replace it.
Hopefully this will finally end this saga.
And next time it goes haywire I'm just going to throw the damn thing away and buy a new version of everything - it may be more expensive but it has to be easier than going through this pain.
Monday, May 17, 2004
THE WEEKEND
The good news.
Leicester Tigers thrashed Quins to go though to the Heineken Wild Card final. Hopefully they can make it and salvage something from the season.
And the weathert here was great. Lots of lovely sunshine.
The bad news. Where do I start?
Leicester City - for 30 minutes or so it looked like they were going to do it. 1-0 up, against the run of play, from a Paul Dickov header. Then the inevitable happened and Arsenal superior firepower took them to a 2-1 victory. Damn.
Sailing
Race 1 – Saturday afternoon. 8th out of 14 – not too bad…. Except that when we got back to the dock we discovered that 1 boat was protesting all the rest of us for apparently sailing the wrong course. And they were right damn them. So 13 boats disqualified and only 1 finisher, who then gamely retired (otherwise there wouldn’t have been much point in any boats turning up on Sunday!).
Race 2 – Sunday morning – last run down the harbour before the final beat up to the finish lone. We’re somewhere in mid-filed again when “BANG” – whoops. There goes the spinnaker halyard. No spinnaker so all the other boats steam past. We retire and head back to the dock for emergency repairs in the hope of getting out for race 3. Sadly time runs out on us and we can’t get back to the start in time, so retire to the bar for some liquid solace.
So final results – disqualified, did not finish, did not start – I think we can safely conclude we were last overall. Dennis Conner is not going to be quaking in his boots.
Ah well. Another year maybe….
The good news.
Leicester Tigers thrashed Quins to go though to the Heineken Wild Card final. Hopefully they can make it and salvage something from the season.
And the weathert here was great. Lots of lovely sunshine.
The bad news. Where do I start?
Leicester City - for 30 minutes or so it looked like they were going to do it. 1-0 up, against the run of play, from a Paul Dickov header. Then the inevitable happened and Arsenal superior firepower took them to a 2-1 victory. Damn.
Sailing
Race 1 – Saturday afternoon. 8th out of 14 – not too bad…. Except that when we got back to the dock we discovered that 1 boat was protesting all the rest of us for apparently sailing the wrong course. And they were right damn them. So 13 boats disqualified and only 1 finisher, who then gamely retired (otherwise there wouldn’t have been much point in any boats turning up on Sunday!).
Race 2 – Sunday morning – last run down the harbour before the final beat up to the finish lone. We’re somewhere in mid-filed again when “BANG” – whoops. There goes the spinnaker halyard. No spinnaker so all the other boats steam past. We retire and head back to the dock for emergency repairs in the hope of getting out for race 3. Sadly time runs out on us and we can’t get back to the start in time, so retire to the bar for some liquid solace.
So final results – disqualified, did not finish, did not start – I think we can safely conclude we were last overall. Dennis Conner is not going to be quaking in his boots.
Ah well. Another year maybe….
Friday, May 14, 2004
THIS WEEKEND
Leaving aside the sporting activities of various Leicester-based teams, this weekend sees a return to the water. There was a spot available on the boat I used to crew on for this weekends Spring Regatta in the harbour so I will be out on Saturday afternoon and most of Sunday.
Not expecting great things though.
In fact we became so used to being at best mid-fleet that last year when we did suddenly find ourself in first place we realised none of us had bothered to check the board to find out the course. We had all assumed we would simply follow the other boats like we always do. Fortunately we then messed up a spinnaker hoist (when I say "we" what I mean is "I") and we were duly overtaken by two other boats and finsihed third. Phew. would have been very embarrassing to be in the lead and head off in the wrong direction.
And both dogs are now back up to full speed after various health scares so doubt a couple of hours hiking will be fitted in somewhere too.
Have fun all
Leaving aside the sporting activities of various Leicester-based teams, this weekend sees a return to the water. There was a spot available on the boat I used to crew on for this weekends Spring Regatta in the harbour so I will be out on Saturday afternoon and most of Sunday.
Not expecting great things though.
In fact we became so used to being at best mid-fleet that last year when we did suddenly find ourself in first place we realised none of us had bothered to check the board to find out the course. We had all assumed we would simply follow the other boats like we always do. Fortunately we then messed up a spinnaker hoist (when I say "we" what I mean is "I") and we were duly overtaken by two other boats and finsihed third. Phew. would have been very embarrassing to be in the lead and head off in the wrong direction.
And both dogs are now back up to full speed after various health scares so doubt a couple of hours hiking will be fitted in somewhere too.
Have fun all
TODAY'S GENGHISISM
Commenting on CNNs TV footage of a meeting of the Indian Congress Party
"What the hell is that all about? They're all wearing pyjamas! You can't run a country dressed in pyjamas! They should put suits on. They all think they're Hugh Hefner, walking around running an empire in their pyjamas. How are they going to have the world take them seriously?"
Commenting on CNNs TV footage of a meeting of the Indian Congress Party
"What the hell is that all about? They're all wearing pyjamas! You can't run a country dressed in pyjamas! They should put suits on. They all think they're Hugh Hefner, walking around running an empire in their pyjamas. How are they going to have the world take them seriously?"
THE WEEKENDS SPORT
This weekend the interminable English Premier League season finally comes to a conclusion.
Arsenal are already Champions, Chelsea are already certain to finish second, Man Utd third and Liverpool fourth.
Leeds United, Leicester City and Wolverhampton Wanderers are already relegated.
So what is the point of this weekends games? And why would anyone bother to watch them? (I ask myself the same question every weekend - I like playing the odd game but the obsession the locals have with supporting and watching teams they can't even pronounce baffles me completely)
Amazingly enough there is actually one thing left to be decided, and it's a biggy. Can Arsenal be the first team in "the modern era" to go through an entire season unbeaten? It has happened once before - Preston North End were unbeaten in 1889 in what was then a 12 team top division - but even I would have to grudgingly admit that it would be more of an achievement in the modern era than it was then, if for no other reason than there are now 20 teams, and they are all fully professional.
And who are they playing this weekend? Already-relegated Leicester City - my home-town team.
Now I'm not usually that fussed about the footy, and just glance occasionally at the results and table to confirm that Leicester are as bad as a I remember them being (they are) but this is Leicesters greatest chance of fame this season (apart from three of their players being held on sexual assault charges in Spain obviously) so I may actually have to watch some of this game. Time to dig out my Leicester shirt (bet there aren't many of those in Hong Kong!)
Meanwhile, over at Welford Road, in the interesting version of football, Leicester Tigers will be entertaining Harlequins in the Zurich Wildcard Semi Final which is basically the poor mans way of getting into the Heineken Cup. Having said that, we do badly need to win. The decline of Tigers at the start of this season was dramatic and though they staged a rally late on they realy need to be in European competition next year to generate the momentum they are used to.
All in all a big weekend for Leicester sport, even if not necessaritly for the reasons we would have wanted when the seasons started!
Leeeeeeiiiiiccccessssstttteeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
This weekend the interminable English Premier League season finally comes to a conclusion.
Arsenal are already Champions, Chelsea are already certain to finish second, Man Utd third and Liverpool fourth.
Leeds United, Leicester City and Wolverhampton Wanderers are already relegated.
So what is the point of this weekends games? And why would anyone bother to watch them? (I ask myself the same question every weekend - I like playing the odd game but the obsession the locals have with supporting and watching teams they can't even pronounce baffles me completely)
Amazingly enough there is actually one thing left to be decided, and it's a biggy. Can Arsenal be the first team in "the modern era" to go through an entire season unbeaten? It has happened once before - Preston North End were unbeaten in 1889 in what was then a 12 team top division - but even I would have to grudgingly admit that it would be more of an achievement in the modern era than it was then, if for no other reason than there are now 20 teams, and they are all fully professional.
And who are they playing this weekend? Already-relegated Leicester City - my home-town team.
Now I'm not usually that fussed about the footy, and just glance occasionally at the results and table to confirm that Leicester are as bad as a I remember them being (they are) but this is Leicesters greatest chance of fame this season (apart from three of their players being held on sexual assault charges in Spain obviously) so I may actually have to watch some of this game. Time to dig out my Leicester shirt (bet there aren't many of those in Hong Kong!)
Meanwhile, over at Welford Road, in the interesting version of football, Leicester Tigers will be entertaining Harlequins in the Zurich Wildcard Semi Final which is basically the poor mans way of getting into the Heineken Cup. Having said that, we do badly need to win. The decline of Tigers at the start of this season was dramatic and though they staged a rally late on they realy need to be in European competition next year to generate the momentum they are used to.
All in all a big weekend for Leicester sport, even if not necessaritly for the reasons we would have wanted when the seasons started!
Leeeeeeiiiiiccccessssstttteeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
SPIN
BULAWAYO, Zimbabwe, May 13 (AFP) - Sri Lanka's spin bowling wizard Muttiah Muralitharan is approaching the second Test against Zimbabwe at Queens Sports Club here in an unhappy frame of mind.
Gone is the euphoria at taking 521 Test career wickets at Harare last Saturday, which took him past West Indian Courtney Walsh's previous record of 519.
In its place is pent-up frustration at having his bowling action tested once more and in particular the University of Western
Australia declaring his recently invented ball the "doosra" illegal.
Muralitharan was quoted in press reports here Thursday as saying: "Why don't they test other spin bowlers around the world - why just me? All I want is a fair deal. I feel is if I am being unjustly harassed."
The reason they don't test other spin bowlers, and that you feel unjustly harassed Murali, is that you are a cheating bastard who shouldn't be allowed to ever walk onto a cricket pitch again, while they are not. Your "action" is so laughably illegal even the NPC in their most creative mode would be unable to "reinterpret" the rules of cricket to accomodate it.
The only reason you are still allowed to play is that without you the Sri Lankan bowling attack would make Zimbabwes look all-powerful, and Sri Lanka have powerful allies in the ICC.
When I am Emperor of the Universe every wicket you have ever taken will be erased from the records and you will take your rightful place at the top of the list of the worlds greatest cheats.
No hard feelings though eh.
BULAWAYO, Zimbabwe, May 13 (AFP) - Sri Lanka's spin bowling wizard Muttiah Muralitharan is approaching the second Test against Zimbabwe at Queens Sports Club here in an unhappy frame of mind.
Gone is the euphoria at taking 521 Test career wickets at Harare last Saturday, which took him past West Indian Courtney Walsh's previous record of 519.
In its place is pent-up frustration at having his bowling action tested once more and in particular the University of Western
Australia declaring his recently invented ball the "doosra" illegal.
Muralitharan was quoted in press reports here Thursday as saying: "Why don't they test other spin bowlers around the world - why just me? All I want is a fair deal. I feel is if I am being unjustly harassed."
The reason they don't test other spin bowlers, and that you feel unjustly harassed Murali, is that you are a cheating bastard who shouldn't be allowed to ever walk onto a cricket pitch again, while they are not. Your "action" is so laughably illegal even the NPC in their most creative mode would be unable to "reinterpret" the rules of cricket to accomodate it.
The only reason you are still allowed to play is that without you the Sri Lankan bowling attack would make Zimbabwes look all-powerful, and Sri Lanka have powerful allies in the ICC.
When I am Emperor of the Universe every wicket you have ever taken will be erased from the records and you will take your rightful place at the top of the list of the worlds greatest cheats.
No hard feelings though eh.
IDIOTS CAN BE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH
A reader posted this link in the comments section to another post and it is such a good article I thought it deserved front-page billing
click here
Thanks Peter.
A reader posted this link in the comments section to another post and it is such a good article I thought it deserved front-page billing
click here
Thanks Peter.
SCUM
Got this overnight from London (I'm still on their email group list)
Dear All,
For once, a serious message: We have received a warning at the London
Ambulance Service and have been asked to pass on the information to all
our families and friends.
The LAS have units closely associated with the Police 'D.A.R.E.' squads
based in South London who are basically fighting Gang Crimes.
The 'street gangs' in London (particularly South London at present, but
it is sure to spread) have initiation tasks which new gang members have
to carry out to be admitted to the 'gang'. The latest craze is to drive
around, deliberately with no lights on their cars. The first person who
'flashes' them, points at them or sounds their horn at them, has to be
followed by that new gang member in their car, who then has to fire a
shot into that vehicle !!! with no regard as to who is inside.
Our official instruction is that if we see a vehicle with no lights on,
we are NOT to 'flash' it etc. and the advice to friends and family is
that you should ignore any vehicles you see without lights.
I would ask that you pass this info on to all your family, friends and
colleagues by phone or e-mail, and who knows, it may save a life!
Its a lovely world we live in, isn't it.
Then we have the now infamous www.chavscum.co.uk website which higlights and lampoons "Britains burgeoning peasant underclass".
But this is by no means a purely British phenomenon.
You can see the same bored youths hanging around in any European city looking to cause trouble because they can't think of anything else to do.
And at the same time we have the probably the ultimate display of "peasant underclass" going on in Iraq where it seems clear to me a group of bored, under-educated trailer-trash who had been left in charge of a prison decided to have some "fun" (and then, in the ultimate display of stupidity, photograph themselves at the same time).
Now I'm not pretending this is a modern social problem only. I'm sure that these sort of people have always existed - but growing prosperity means their influence is spreading, and their power is growing. The "dumbing-down" of mass media to the lowest common denominator seems to merely make the problem worse. In it's early days TV was seen as a great way to educate people and inform them about the world - it was going to be a force for good, a way to raise everyones awareness and knowledge. Now it seems merely to be a way to provide people with mindless entertainment and un-funny sit-coms - candy-floss for the brain - in a desperate effort to keep them off the streets.
I'm not sure what the solution is (either compulsory education or compulsory sterilisation should feature though, and in some cases both), or why I bothered to put this up seeing as no doubt I will get abuse from bleeding-heart liberals bleating about lack of opportunities for the poor etc, but I just wanted to highlight the issue.
P.S. - for those who also bleat on about universal suffrage and democracy I would like to point out these people are able to vote - do you really want your government to be chosen by these people?
Got this overnight from London (I'm still on their email group list)
Dear All,
For once, a serious message: We have received a warning at the London
Ambulance Service and have been asked to pass on the information to all
our families and friends.
The LAS have units closely associated with the Police 'D.A.R.E.' squads
based in South London who are basically fighting Gang Crimes.
The 'street gangs' in London (particularly South London at present, but
it is sure to spread) have initiation tasks which new gang members have
to carry out to be admitted to the 'gang'. The latest craze is to drive
around, deliberately with no lights on their cars. The first person who
'flashes' them, points at them or sounds their horn at them, has to be
followed by that new gang member in their car, who then has to fire a
shot into that vehicle !!! with no regard as to who is inside.
Our official instruction is that if we see a vehicle with no lights on,
we are NOT to 'flash' it etc. and the advice to friends and family is
that you should ignore any vehicles you see without lights.
I would ask that you pass this info on to all your family, friends and
colleagues by phone or e-mail, and who knows, it may save a life!
Its a lovely world we live in, isn't it.
Then we have the now infamous www.chavscum.co.uk website which higlights and lampoons "Britains burgeoning peasant underclass".
But this is by no means a purely British phenomenon.
You can see the same bored youths hanging around in any European city looking to cause trouble because they can't think of anything else to do.
And at the same time we have the probably the ultimate display of "peasant underclass" going on in Iraq where it seems clear to me a group of bored, under-educated trailer-trash who had been left in charge of a prison decided to have some "fun" (and then, in the ultimate display of stupidity, photograph themselves at the same time).
Now I'm not pretending this is a modern social problem only. I'm sure that these sort of people have always existed - but growing prosperity means their influence is spreading, and their power is growing. The "dumbing-down" of mass media to the lowest common denominator seems to merely make the problem worse. In it's early days TV was seen as a great way to educate people and inform them about the world - it was going to be a force for good, a way to raise everyones awareness and knowledge. Now it seems merely to be a way to provide people with mindless entertainment and un-funny sit-coms - candy-floss for the brain - in a desperate effort to keep them off the streets.
I'm not sure what the solution is (either compulsory education or compulsory sterilisation should feature though, and in some cases both), or why I bothered to put this up seeing as no doubt I will get abuse from bleeding-heart liberals bleating about lack of opportunities for the poor etc, but I just wanted to highlight the issue.
P.S. - for those who also bleat on about universal suffrage and democracy I would like to point out these people are able to vote - do you really want your government to be chosen by these people?
Thursday, May 13, 2004
TRUE STORIES FROM THE U.K. PAPERS (Honest)
Commenting on a complaint from a Mr Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, the spokesman for North Westgas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house." (The Daily Telegraph)
Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her knickers. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend. (The Manchester Evening News)
Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)
A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)
At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard on the spot and asked him to estimate the windspeed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (AberdeenEvening Express)
Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out "Heil Hitler." (BournemouthEvening Echo)
Plus a list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction".
"Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome, not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."
"Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination."
"We are now travelling through Baker Street, as you can see Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that".
"Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause) "Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home...."
"Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open'. The two are distinct and separate instructions."
"Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors."
"To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage - what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?"
"Please move all baggage away from the doors (Pause..)
Please move ALL belongings away from the doors (Pause...)
This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train -put the pie down, four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your a**e sideways"
Commenting on a complaint from a Mr Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, the spokesman for North Westgas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house." (The Daily Telegraph)
Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her knickers. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend. (The Manchester Evening News)
Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)
A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)
At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard on the spot and asked him to estimate the windspeed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (AberdeenEvening Express)
Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out "Heil Hitler." (BournemouthEvening Echo)
Plus a list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction".
"Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome, not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."
"Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination."
"We are now travelling through Baker Street, as you can see Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that".
"Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause) "Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home...."
"Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open'. The two are distinct and separate instructions."
"Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors."
"To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage - what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?"
"Please move all baggage away from the doors (Pause..)
Please move ALL belongings away from the doors (Pause...)
This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train -put the pie down, four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your a**e sideways"
THE GREAT CHIP (OR FRENCH FRY, OR FREEDOM FRY) CONTROVERSY
We have just been polishing a light, low-fat lunch of cod, chips and mushy peas (or curry sauce for 1 hungover member of the team) from Mr Chippy in Central.
Genghis has just announced that he hates the chips (big, thick and chunky - the way god intended) as they are "too potatoey" (surely that's the whole point of making them from potatoes?). Apparently he prefers the fried bits of string that McDonalds serves up, which have never been near a potato in their lives.
I treated this with the disdain it deserved, only to discover to my horror that several others agreed with him!
How can this be?
Has the human race really sunk so low that McDonalds lowest-cost leave-no-corner-uncut approach to food is now the benchmark?
Please tell me this isn't so.
We have just been polishing a light, low-fat lunch of cod, chips and mushy peas (or curry sauce for 1 hungover member of the team) from Mr Chippy in Central.
Genghis has just announced that he hates the chips (big, thick and chunky - the way god intended) as they are "too potatoey" (surely that's the whole point of making them from potatoes?). Apparently he prefers the fried bits of string that McDonalds serves up, which have never been near a potato in their lives.
I treated this with the disdain it deserved, only to discover to my horror that several others agreed with him!
How can this be?
Has the human race really sunk so low that McDonalds lowest-cost leave-no-corner-uncut approach to food is now the benchmark?
Please tell me this isn't so.
TECHNOLOGY PART VI
It works!
It took 4 computer "experts" 2 1/2 hours but they got my external CD Drive/Burner working, and somehow (still not sure how) I managed to switch off the security feature on RealPlayer and last night started the process or rerecording all my CDs to MP3. Burnt a couple of tracks to a CD to try in my new funky CD/DVD/Hard Drive recorder video thingy which plays MP3 files and it worked fine - except I had the volume turned up unexpectedly high - the dogs both look very alarmed as the first notes of Back in Black made the whole place vibrate!
I do think the time is fast approaching though when I will need to make an investment in a totally new PC - probably go for a box affair rather than a laptop this time - so I shall soon be asking for views and opinions on what I should be putting in there.
It works!
It took 4 computer "experts" 2 1/2 hours but they got my external CD Drive/Burner working, and somehow (still not sure how) I managed to switch off the security feature on RealPlayer and last night started the process or rerecording all my CDs to MP3. Burnt a couple of tracks to a CD to try in my new funky CD/DVD/Hard Drive recorder video thingy which plays MP3 files and it worked fine - except I had the volume turned up unexpectedly high - the dogs both look very alarmed as the first notes of Back in Black made the whole place vibrate!
I do think the time is fast approaching though when I will need to make an investment in a totally new PC - probably go for a box affair rather than a laptop this time - so I shall soon be asking for views and opinions on what I should be putting in there.
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
1 COUNTRY, 2 SYSTEMS, 1 CHEQUEBOOK
May 12 (Bloomberg) -- China will buy bonds sold by the Hong Kong government to support the island's debt market, Mingpao.com said on its Web site, citing Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao.
China has already decided the size of its purchase and plans formally to announce details of the plan later, the report said. It didn't say which bonds China plans to buy.
Hong Kong plans to sell as much as HK$20 billion ($2.56 billion) of bonds in various currencies to help fund construction projects and develop its debt market. The government is projecting a budget deficit of HK$49 billion this year.
The ludicrous vitriol and diatribes regarding "patriotism" didn't shut the masses up.
The NPC "interpretation" of the basic law didn't shut the masses up.
The show of force 10 days ago with the Chinese Navy didn't shut the masses up.
So now they are going for Hong Kongs soft underbelly. If all else fails - buy the place. Then if the masses still threaten to vote for pro-democracy parties and candidates, and the noise about universal suffrage doesn't die down, they can blackmail the place by threatening to dump their bond holdings and wreck HKs bond and equity markets and probably international credit ratings too. They know the one place where every Hong Konger is vulnerable is in his wallet.
Dashed cunning these communists.
May 12 (Bloomberg) -- China will buy bonds sold by the Hong Kong government to support the island's debt market, Mingpao.com said on its Web site, citing Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao.
China has already decided the size of its purchase and plans formally to announce details of the plan later, the report said. It didn't say which bonds China plans to buy.
Hong Kong plans to sell as much as HK$20 billion ($2.56 billion) of bonds in various currencies to help fund construction projects and develop its debt market. The government is projecting a budget deficit of HK$49 billion this year.
The ludicrous vitriol and diatribes regarding "patriotism" didn't shut the masses up.
The NPC "interpretation" of the basic law didn't shut the masses up.
The show of force 10 days ago with the Chinese Navy didn't shut the masses up.
So now they are going for Hong Kongs soft underbelly. If all else fails - buy the place. Then if the masses still threaten to vote for pro-democracy parties and candidates, and the noise about universal suffrage doesn't die down, they can blackmail the place by threatening to dump their bond holdings and wreck HKs bond and equity markets and probably international credit ratings too. They know the one place where every Hong Konger is vulnerable is in his wallet.
Dashed cunning these communists.
OLYMPICS
Less than 100 days to go, and as has been widely reported most venues are nowhere near ready... click here for the latest photos of the chaos.
Meanwhile the venue for rowing and canoeing events will probably be ready, but the venue is subject to such high winds that in a test event last year made the water so choppy it caused several boats to sink!
More here
It will almost be worth going just to watch the chaos.
Less than 100 days to go, and as has been widely reported most venues are nowhere near ready... click here for the latest photos of the chaos.
Meanwhile the venue for rowing and canoeing events will probably be ready, but the venue is subject to such high winds that in a test event last year made the water so choppy it caused several boats to sink!
More here
It will almost be worth going just to watch the chaos.
HUNTING, SHOOTING, FISHING - ALL AT ONCE
As I have mentioned before the Attila the Gun is rather partial to a bit of death and destruction of an afternoon under the guise of "sport". He is part of what would be described in the UK as the "hunting, shooting, fishing set" , preferring to spend his wekeends up to his knees in mud, blood, empty shell cases and bit's of fishing kit.
I never quite have understood the passion for the kill that some people display. Don't get me wrong. I have no problem with a bit of fishing and shooting as long as the catch is eaten, not just killed for fun, and have been known to dabble in both pass-times occasionally myself (no danger to any wildlife from my shooting skills though!). Attila however seems to display an insatiable appetite for the destruction of wildlife. I always put this down to the fact that he hails from Vermont - a rural state where there is plenty of wildlife to kill and not much else to do. Now however it seems that people in Vermont have decided that they can't be bothered to carry both fishing and shooting kit, and their love of weaponry means only one type of death dispenser was ever going to win in a straight choice.
I therefore bring you "fish shooting"
MONTPELIER, Vt., May 11 (UPI) -- Fishermen in Vermont have resumed the state's spring ritual of going fishing with .357 Magnums, shotguns and AK-47s, the New York Times reported Tuesday.
Fish shooting is a legal sport in Vermont, although Vermont's fish and wildlife regulators have repeatedly tried to ban it. They call it unsportsmanlike and dangerous and warn a bullet can ricochet across the water like a skipping stone.
The goal is not to hit the fish with a bullet, as the prey disintegrates. Rather, the goal is to shoot just ahead of the fish in shallow water. The concussive force of the bullet hitting the bottom shatters the fish's air bladder and it floats to the top.
Often the target is a female fish come to spawn in shallow water, accompanied by several male acolytes who might also be stunned by the concussion.
"If you shoot a high-powered rifle, you can get a big mare and six or seven little bucks," said 66-year-old fish-shooter Dean Paquette.
Permitted from March 25 to May 25 only on Lake Champlain, fish shooting has existed for about a century. It is no longer legal in New York, which borders the huge apostrophe-shaped lake. Virginia is the only other state where fish
shooting is still legal.
Perhaps another new sport for the Olympics?
As I have mentioned before the Attila the Gun is rather partial to a bit of death and destruction of an afternoon under the guise of "sport". He is part of what would be described in the UK as the "hunting, shooting, fishing set" , preferring to spend his wekeends up to his knees in mud, blood, empty shell cases and bit's of fishing kit.
I never quite have understood the passion for the kill that some people display. Don't get me wrong. I have no problem with a bit of fishing and shooting as long as the catch is eaten, not just killed for fun, and have been known to dabble in both pass-times occasionally myself (no danger to any wildlife from my shooting skills though!). Attila however seems to display an insatiable appetite for the destruction of wildlife. I always put this down to the fact that he hails from Vermont - a rural state where there is plenty of wildlife to kill and not much else to do. Now however it seems that people in Vermont have decided that they can't be bothered to carry both fishing and shooting kit, and their love of weaponry means only one type of death dispenser was ever going to win in a straight choice.
I therefore bring you "fish shooting"
MONTPELIER, Vt., May 11 (UPI) -- Fishermen in Vermont have resumed the state's spring ritual of going fishing with .357 Magnums, shotguns and AK-47s, the New York Times reported Tuesday.
Fish shooting is a legal sport in Vermont, although Vermont's fish and wildlife regulators have repeatedly tried to ban it. They call it unsportsmanlike and dangerous and warn a bullet can ricochet across the water like a skipping stone.
The goal is not to hit the fish with a bullet, as the prey disintegrates. Rather, the goal is to shoot just ahead of the fish in shallow water. The concussive force of the bullet hitting the bottom shatters the fish's air bladder and it floats to the top.
Often the target is a female fish come to spawn in shallow water, accompanied by several male acolytes who might also be stunned by the concussion.
"If you shoot a high-powered rifle, you can get a big mare and six or seven little bucks," said 66-year-old fish-shooter Dean Paquette.
Permitted from March 25 to May 25 only on Lake Champlain, fish shooting has existed for about a century. It is no longer legal in New York, which borders the huge apostrophe-shaped lake. Virginia is the only other state where fish
shooting is still legal.
Perhaps another new sport for the Olympics?
TECHNOLOGY - PART III
So tried for an hour or so to get things working again last night.
On the external CD Burner - found the CD Rom it came with, but the exisiting CD Drive in the machine wouldn't read it. Tried to find it on the manufacturuers website - no joy at the HK website but have found it on their global website. Problem is it's a zipped file. How do I go about unzipping it?
Re MP3 recorders...
iTunes requires Windows 2000 or later - I have Windows 98
AudioGrabber installed fine but then told me I should go and get a better MP3 encoder (I thought that's what AudioGrabber was?) - recommended something callmed LAME (not a good name for any product). Sort of found it - but then had the same "zipped" problem as above.
So... Henry - you said RealPlayer has some sort of security thing i can turn off. If I turn that off ill it just encode as normal MP3 files without the security key? If so then i will use that. I'm not an audiophile so encoding at 96kbits (realplayers highest level) is fine for me.
HELP!!!!!!
So tried for an hour or so to get things working again last night.
On the external CD Burner - found the CD Rom it came with, but the exisiting CD Drive in the machine wouldn't read it. Tried to find it on the manufacturuers website - no joy at the HK website but have found it on their global website. Problem is it's a zipped file. How do I go about unzipping it?
Re MP3 recorders...
iTunes requires Windows 2000 or later - I have Windows 98
AudioGrabber installed fine but then told me I should go and get a better MP3 encoder (I thought that's what AudioGrabber was?) - recommended something callmed LAME (not a good name for any product). Sort of found it - but then had the same "zipped" problem as above.
So... Henry - you said RealPlayer has some sort of security thing i can turn off. If I turn that off ill it just encode as normal MP3 files without the security key? If so then i will use that. I'm not an audiophile so encoding at 96kbits (realplayers highest level) is fine for me.
HELP!!!!!!
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
(NO FUCKING) HELP DESK
The air-con in our office is having a bad afternoon. It's 28 deg in here and rising at present.
So obviously you call the "24hr hotline" to "Corporate Realty Services" (CRS) to come and fix it.
1st call - engaged
2nd call - rings and rings then eventually dies
3rd call - finally someone answers.
CRS - Hello?
Me - Hello. Is this CRS?
CRS - did you dial 5555 5555? (the numberS have been changed to protect the innocent)
Me - Yes I did.
CRS - Ok. Thank You. Byebye
click....
dial tone....
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?
The air-con in our office is having a bad afternoon. It's 28 deg in here and rising at present.
So obviously you call the "24hr hotline" to "Corporate Realty Services" (CRS) to come and fix it.
1st call - engaged
2nd call - rings and rings then eventually dies
3rd call - finally someone answers.
CRS - Hello?
Me - Hello. Is this CRS?
CRS - did you dial 5555 5555? (the numberS have been changed to protect the innocent)
Me - Yes I did.
CRS - Ok. Thank You. Byebye
click....
dial tone....
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?
THESE GUYS NEED OUR SUPPORT TO BECOME A NEW OLYMPIC SPORT
Over the years the Olympics has cheapened itself by letting in a lot of events that are in no way sports. The most obvious example that is trotted out is synchronised swimming but others such as rhythmic gymnastics (gym with a ball and some cloth on the end of a stick), walking, that stupid cycling event where everyone rides really really slowly until the last lap, softball (yes - really), baseball (spot an american bias yet?) and curling (scottish bias perhaps) to name but a few.
Plus, on top of that lot, the Olympics recognises the following as sports with a view to inclusion in the future - boules, chess, "dancesport" (whatever that is), bridge (!), life saving (!!) and a whole hotpotch of other crap.
(The full list of olympic sports is here for those who care)
Now however there is a sport that really deserves to be included, and they are looking to drum up some support.
Ladies and Gentlemen - EXTREME IRONING - "The danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt"
It seems the current Extreme Ironing World Champions are heading to America to try to build up some support for olympic recognition. They will be ironing in a variety of locations so there should be plenty of opportunity for them to get some publicity and hopefully build up a momentum towards future inclusion.
They've got my vote that's for sure.
Over the years the Olympics has cheapened itself by letting in a lot of events that are in no way sports. The most obvious example that is trotted out is synchronised swimming but others such as rhythmic gymnastics (gym with a ball and some cloth on the end of a stick), walking, that stupid cycling event where everyone rides really really slowly until the last lap, softball (yes - really), baseball (spot an american bias yet?) and curling (scottish bias perhaps) to name but a few.
Plus, on top of that lot, the Olympics recognises the following as sports with a view to inclusion in the future - boules, chess, "dancesport" (whatever that is), bridge (!), life saving (!!) and a whole hotpotch of other crap.
(The full list of olympic sports is here for those who care)
Now however there is a sport that really deserves to be included, and they are looking to drum up some support.
Ladies and Gentlemen - EXTREME IRONING - "The danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt"
It seems the current Extreme Ironing World Champions are heading to America to try to build up some support for olympic recognition. They will be ironing in a variety of locations so there should be plenty of opportunity for them to get some publicity and hopefully build up a momentum towards future inclusion.
They've got my vote that's for sure.
PIRACY CRACKDOWN - APPARENTLY NOT WORKING
The HK Government periodically makes noises about "cracking down" on music, DVD and software piracy. Perhaps they should try harder.
Genhis just went to Fortress in Central to buy a copy of Windows. The official reply from Fortress to the question - do you sell software? is apparently - "yes, but go to WanChai - it only costs HK$30 there!"
So there you have it. Official permission from Hong Kongs largest electrical retailer to go and buy hookie software (as if anyone needed permission).
The HK Government periodically makes noises about "cracking down" on music, DVD and software piracy. Perhaps they should try harder.
Genhis just went to Fortress in Central to buy a copy of Windows. The official reply from Fortress to the question - do you sell software? is apparently - "yes, but go to WanChai - it only costs HK$30 there!"
So there you have it. Official permission from Hong Kongs largest electrical retailer to go and buy hookie software (as if anyone needed permission).
TECHNOLOGY - PART II - HELP!!!!
So last night i decided to "just reinstall the applications", to quote Kelvin, on my laptop.
Palm Pilot - fine.
RealPlayer - apparently fine.
Nero (Cd burning software) - apparently fine.
Time to reload my MP3 files from the CD's I burnt.
Disk goes in. Fine
Files are there. Fine
Copy to C drive. Fine
Copy into RealPlayer so I can put on my MP3 player - DISASTER!
RealPlayer won't accept any of the files I created from my own CD collection because of something called a "security key". Apparently when you create MP3 files using RealPlayer it adds some security key or code to the file so that it can't be copied elsewhere. God knows why but a lot of swearing later I couldn't get any of the files into RealPlayer, so I am looking at having to re-record everything.
Ironically the illegal KaZaa downloads don't have this "security" feature so RealPlayer accepts them without a murmur!
I then thought perhaps trying to load them from the external CD Drive/burner might be a way round it. DISASTER 2.
The laptop doesn't seem to recognise the external CD Drie, and the best efforts of myself and Mrs C to fix it using the Nero software that it came with have yielded no results.
SO.........
Does anyone know a way round the RealPlayer Security feature?
If not - can someone recommend another application for recording my CDs to MP3 which doesn't have this stupid "security" feature. I can then import the files into RealPlayer easily?
Does anyone have any suggestions for getting the laptop to recognise the external CD Drive?
HHHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!
So last night i decided to "just reinstall the applications", to quote Kelvin, on my laptop.
Palm Pilot - fine.
RealPlayer - apparently fine.
Nero (Cd burning software) - apparently fine.
Time to reload my MP3 files from the CD's I burnt.
Disk goes in. Fine
Files are there. Fine
Copy to C drive. Fine
Copy into RealPlayer so I can put on my MP3 player - DISASTER!
RealPlayer won't accept any of the files I created from my own CD collection because of something called a "security key". Apparently when you create MP3 files using RealPlayer it adds some security key or code to the file so that it can't be copied elsewhere. God knows why but a lot of swearing later I couldn't get any of the files into RealPlayer, so I am looking at having to re-record everything.
Ironically the illegal KaZaa downloads don't have this "security" feature so RealPlayer accepts them without a murmur!
I then thought perhaps trying to load them from the external CD Drive/burner might be a way round it. DISASTER 2.
The laptop doesn't seem to recognise the external CD Drie, and the best efforts of myself and Mrs C to fix it using the Nero software that it came with have yielded no results.
SO.........
Does anyone know a way round the RealPlayer Security feature?
If not - can someone recommend another application for recording my CDs to MP3 which doesn't have this stupid "security" feature. I can then import the files into RealPlayer easily?
Does anyone have any suggestions for getting the laptop to recognise the external CD Drive?
HHHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!
Monday, May 10, 2004
THERE ARE WORSE WAYS TO GO THAN BEING CRUSHED BY GARLIC
WARSAW, May 8 (Reuters) - A sexually excited stallion bit a Polish man to death when he tried to calm the beast which had become uncontrollably aroused by a nearby mare, police said.
"The 24-year-old man, identified as Robert R., was bitten when he tried to calm his horse which had become unsettled by the presence of a mare in the vicinity," a duty officer in the Baltic port of Szczecin told Reuters.
The horse went wild and began straining and bucking while pulling a farm cart through the village.
An autopsy would determine whether the direct cause of death was a severed jugular vein or damaged spine, the officer added.
I've never understood the fascination some have with horses. What is the point of inventing the internal combustion engine if you're then going to sit on 1,000lbs of unpredicatable animal to get around the place. I mean they are quite pretty in a stupid-and-pointless sort of a way, but they are totally unnecessary and riding them seems a ludicrously dangerous way to get around given their penchant for throwing people off (just look at christopher Reeve to see what I mean).
But this surely has to be a new one. What a way to earn your 15 minutes of fame. Bitten to death by a horny horse.
WARSAW, May 8 (Reuters) - A sexually excited stallion bit a Polish man to death when he tried to calm the beast which had become uncontrollably aroused by a nearby mare, police said.
"The 24-year-old man, identified as Robert R., was bitten when he tried to calm his horse which had become unsettled by the presence of a mare in the vicinity," a duty officer in the Baltic port of Szczecin told Reuters.
The horse went wild and began straining and bucking while pulling a farm cart through the village.
An autopsy would determine whether the direct cause of death was a severed jugular vein or damaged spine, the officer added.
I've never understood the fascination some have with horses. What is the point of inventing the internal combustion engine if you're then going to sit on 1,000lbs of unpredicatable animal to get around the place. I mean they are quite pretty in a stupid-and-pointless sort of a way, but they are totally unnecessary and riding them seems a ludicrously dangerous way to get around given their penchant for throwing people off (just look at christopher Reeve to see what I mean).
But this surely has to be a new one. What a way to earn your 15 minutes of fame. Bitten to death by a horny horse.
TECHNOLOGY
Finally this weekend I got round to taking our laptop to be sorted out. It has been running slower and slower, constantly jamming up and displaying endless error messages and even though we only really use it for email and as a store for digital photos and MP3 files it had become so bad it had to be fixed.
A friend had recommended a man named Kelvin in 298 Hennessy Rd who had sorted his out so off I trotted on Saturday afternoon once the rain had stopped to drop the machine off.
The machine in question is a 2000 vintage Dell Laptop running Windows 98 - I believe it's the last machine in the world still running this but it has worked fine for us so why change?
"No problem" he said. "I'll wipe everything off the hard drive and re-install your windows and microsoft office plus a couple of other applications (CD Burner etc) and then you simply take it home and reload the other apps (Palm, RealPlayer) and you're done."
Hmmmm - wipe everything? I had burnt the photo and MP3 files to CDs but wasn't confident about either my CD Burner, my CD Burning software, or my own ability to use either of the above, so I persuaded him to transfer all the photo files to his machine and then back afterwards.
"Will take extra 30 mins"
"Fine"
"Ok - 2 maybe 3 hours - i'll call you" (this is at 3.30pm on Saturday)
So off I wander. It's amazing in there. You have no idea how much technology you really really need until you go to somewhere like 298 Hennessy. Bluetooth this, wireless that, latest Palms, mobiles, cameras, etc etc... I had to drag myself away before i bankrupted myself.
3 hours later I've got bored of shopping and headed home. The phone rings. "Hi. This is Kelvin. It will take a lot longer to fix your computer. Lots of virusses"
Whoops. Ah well. Didn't desperately need it anyway. Sunday lunchtime will be fine to get it back.
Sunday at 4.30 the phone finally rings.
"Ok. nearly finished now. just reinstalling applications. What's the serial number for your microsoft office?"
"Serial number? I'm pretty sure the guy who sold it to me didn't mention anything about serial numbers, but then he was looking over his shoulder for the police for most of the transaction"
"Ah. Ok. I'll see what I can do."
10 minutes later the phone rings again.
"Ok - office now installed. Can't find your anti-virus softare."
"My what?"
"Ah. Ok. Now I understand. You need anti-virus software."
"I do? Ok then. Please put some on."
"Ok. I install Norton. It's very good and very reasonable"
Hmmmm. Not sure about this. Am starting to feel like the bloke in the Not The Nine O'Clock News sketch who goes to a Hi-Fi shop to buy a new gramophone. ("I need a new gramopone please. We don't sell gramophones here grandad. What's that then? That's a belt-drive semi-automatic turntable unless I've very much mistaken. What's the difference between that and a gramophone? About 35 years and a plastic cupboard to you chief." - Young readers may like to know that before CD's we had "records" which were played on "turntables" or "record players"). Anyway in for a penny and all that. "Ok. Please install it. I'll be there in 30 minutes to pick it up."
So off I go to collect it.
Kelvin has a pitying look when I arrive. The status of the laptop and our earlier conversation had clearly revealed that my elaborate display of computer knowledge was a total sham and I knew nothing about them at all. It turns out that it was a miracle that my laptop had even been able to switch on. Apparently he had never seen so many virusses on one small machine - in terms of virus per square mega-byte (or whatever the measure is) I may well have owned a world beater.
We had a bit of a chat about what I should and shouldn't be doing with the laptop in future (apparently using it as a coaster for my morning cup of coffee is not a good idea) and other toys you can add to it - bluetooth, DVD burners and the like. Kelvin, very fairly given he could have told (and sold) me anything, advised me not to buy anything for the machine as it probably only had 1 or 2 years useful life left in it anyway before it would have to be replaced and then I could get something with everything built in, and just to leave it as is. Very good of him given I would have bought anything he advised me.
I did somehow end up with a printer though which I wasn't expecting. Not sure how that happened. Fortunately it's a very nice printer. Unfortunately we never print anything. Oh well. A small price to pay compared to just ditching the laptop and buying a a new one which is what I was going to do.
And at least i didn't have slimline salad dressing and a bag on my head when I left. (Again youngsters will have no idea what I am talking about.)
Finally this weekend I got round to taking our laptop to be sorted out. It has been running slower and slower, constantly jamming up and displaying endless error messages and even though we only really use it for email and as a store for digital photos and MP3 files it had become so bad it had to be fixed.
A friend had recommended a man named Kelvin in 298 Hennessy Rd who had sorted his out so off I trotted on Saturday afternoon once the rain had stopped to drop the machine off.
The machine in question is a 2000 vintage Dell Laptop running Windows 98 - I believe it's the last machine in the world still running this but it has worked fine for us so why change?
"No problem" he said. "I'll wipe everything off the hard drive and re-install your windows and microsoft office plus a couple of other applications (CD Burner etc) and then you simply take it home and reload the other apps (Palm, RealPlayer) and you're done."
Hmmmm - wipe everything? I had burnt the photo and MP3 files to CDs but wasn't confident about either my CD Burner, my CD Burning software, or my own ability to use either of the above, so I persuaded him to transfer all the photo files to his machine and then back afterwards.
"Will take extra 30 mins"
"Fine"
"Ok - 2 maybe 3 hours - i'll call you" (this is at 3.30pm on Saturday)
So off I wander. It's amazing in there. You have no idea how much technology you really really need until you go to somewhere like 298 Hennessy. Bluetooth this, wireless that, latest Palms, mobiles, cameras, etc etc... I had to drag myself away before i bankrupted myself.
3 hours later I've got bored of shopping and headed home. The phone rings. "Hi. This is Kelvin. It will take a lot longer to fix your computer. Lots of virusses"
Whoops. Ah well. Didn't desperately need it anyway. Sunday lunchtime will be fine to get it back.
Sunday at 4.30 the phone finally rings.
"Ok. nearly finished now. just reinstalling applications. What's the serial number for your microsoft office?"
"Serial number? I'm pretty sure the guy who sold it to me didn't mention anything about serial numbers, but then he was looking over his shoulder for the police for most of the transaction"
"Ah. Ok. I'll see what I can do."
10 minutes later the phone rings again.
"Ok - office now installed. Can't find your anti-virus softare."
"My what?"
"Ah. Ok. Now I understand. You need anti-virus software."
"I do? Ok then. Please put some on."
"Ok. I install Norton. It's very good and very reasonable"
Hmmmm. Not sure about this. Am starting to feel like the bloke in the Not The Nine O'Clock News sketch who goes to a Hi-Fi shop to buy a new gramophone. ("I need a new gramopone please. We don't sell gramophones here grandad. What's that then? That's a belt-drive semi-automatic turntable unless I've very much mistaken. What's the difference between that and a gramophone? About 35 years and a plastic cupboard to you chief." - Young readers may like to know that before CD's we had "records" which were played on "turntables" or "record players"). Anyway in for a penny and all that. "Ok. Please install it. I'll be there in 30 minutes to pick it up."
So off I go to collect it.
Kelvin has a pitying look when I arrive. The status of the laptop and our earlier conversation had clearly revealed that my elaborate display of computer knowledge was a total sham and I knew nothing about them at all. It turns out that it was a miracle that my laptop had even been able to switch on. Apparently he had never seen so many virusses on one small machine - in terms of virus per square mega-byte (or whatever the measure is) I may well have owned a world beater.
We had a bit of a chat about what I should and shouldn't be doing with the laptop in future (apparently using it as a coaster for my morning cup of coffee is not a good idea) and other toys you can add to it - bluetooth, DVD burners and the like. Kelvin, very fairly given he could have told (and sold) me anything, advised me not to buy anything for the machine as it probably only had 1 or 2 years useful life left in it anyway before it would have to be replaced and then I could get something with everything built in, and just to leave it as is. Very good of him given I would have bought anything he advised me.
I did somehow end up with a printer though which I wasn't expecting. Not sure how that happened. Fortunately it's a very nice printer. Unfortunately we never print anything. Oh well. A small price to pay compared to just ditching the laptop and buying a a new one which is what I was going to do.
And at least i didn't have slimline salad dressing and a bag on my head when I left. (Again youngsters will have no idea what I am talking about.)
Friday, May 07, 2004
PROOF THAT NOT EVERYONE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO BREED
A US couple who have 14 children with names all beginning with J, are expecting a 15th child.
Michelle Dugger and husband Jim Bob say the new arrival will also have a first name beginning with J - Jackson.
They said they never intended to bring up such a large family, says Sky News Online.
Michelle told CBS: "I don't think it was our intention when we first married but I think we realised children are a gift."
So far the couple have Jana, John, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joanna, Jedadiah, Jeremia, Jason, James and Justin.
The deeply-religious southern Baptist family is schooled at home and sew their own clothes to cut down costs.
"The older child gets to become the teacher and it seems like you learn so much more ... than when you're just the student," Michelle said.
And the new baby may not be the last. "I would like more. I guess we'll have to wait and see," she said.
A US couple who have 14 children with names all beginning with J, are expecting a 15th child.
Michelle Dugger and husband Jim Bob say the new arrival will also have a first name beginning with J - Jackson.
They said they never intended to bring up such a large family, says Sky News Online.
Michelle told CBS: "I don't think it was our intention when we first married but I think we realised children are a gift."
So far the couple have Jana, John, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joanna, Jedadiah, Jeremia, Jason, James and Justin.
The deeply-religious southern Baptist family is schooled at home and sew their own clothes to cut down costs.
"The older child gets to become the teacher and it seems like you learn so much more ... than when you're just the student," Michelle said.
And the new baby may not be the last. "I would like more. I guess we'll have to wait and see," she said.
MOTHERS DAY AND POLITICS (Not an obvious combination)
With perfect timing Attila has just forwarded me an email he received from the republican fundraising team
Dear Attila,
With Mother's Day coming up this weekend, I've been thinking about how proud I am of our children.
And it's with a mother's pride that I'm writing you today to ask you to support our eldest, George W., and his re-election campaign with a donation of $1000, $500, $250, $100 or $50.
www.GeorgeWBush.com/Million/
George W. has been President during challenging times and he has met the tasks at hand with a steely determination and clarity of purpose. From fighting the War on Terrorism to defending the homeland, the President has shown steady and strong leadership.
He has worked with Congress to lower taxes three times so American workers and entrepreneurs can get the economy growing again; pass the No Child Left Behind Act to help every child learn to read; and provide seniors with a prescription drug benefit.
The President has accomplished a lot in the past three and half years but there is much more he would like to accomplish. He will continue to help strength our homeland defense and lay a strong groundwork to win the War on Terrorism. He has put forward plans to save Social Security, secure pension plans and enhance retirement security for all Americans. And he has a comprehensive energy plan to make America less dependent on foreign oil.
Earlier this week, our son's re-election team announced their "March to a Million" campaign. Never before has a presidential campaign received contributions from over one million supporters. With your help, we'll make history.
www.GeorgeWBush.com/Million/
This election is going to be a tough one. That is why I'm asking for your support. For months the President has been facing negative advertising from John Kerry and all sorts of pro-Kerry groups. I've been particularly disappointed in the personal attacks.
Your donation, no matter what the size, will help advertise the President's positive agenda for America and deliver his compassionate conservative message directly to the voters.
www.GeorgeWBush.com/Million/
America needs a strong leader like George W. Bush. He is the right man to lead America during these challenging times.
Thank you very much for your support today. I hope you and your family enjoy a wonderful Mother's Day.
Sincerely,
Barbara Bush
Amazing!
Even Hallmark cards must be impressed by the way they have managed to link an artificially created marketing day to a presidential election (though I suspect Hallmark will still make more money out of Mothers Day than Dubya will).
I particularly like the line - I've been particularly disappointed in the personal attacks - there's nothing like a mothers mild guilt-inducing rebuke to strike home!
And what a strong leader he is. So strong he has to get his mum to write to people asking them to stop attacking him, and give him money.
I wouldn't mind if the alternative was a political tour-de-force oozing power, charisma, intelligance and charm, but John Kerry cannot be accused of being any of those things.
whateer happened to politicians like Thatcher and Reagan. Love 'em or hate 'em, at least you knew where they stood and everyone had an opinion, and neither of them got their mum out fundraising! This lot I just pity.
With perfect timing Attila has just forwarded me an email he received from the republican fundraising team
Dear Attila,
With Mother's Day coming up this weekend, I've been thinking about how proud I am of our children.
And it's with a mother's pride that I'm writing you today to ask you to support our eldest, George W., and his re-election campaign with a donation of $1000, $500, $250, $100 or $50.
www.GeorgeWBush.com/Million/
George W. has been President during challenging times and he has met the tasks at hand with a steely determination and clarity of purpose. From fighting the War on Terrorism to defending the homeland, the President has shown steady and strong leadership.
He has worked with Congress to lower taxes three times so American workers and entrepreneurs can get the economy growing again; pass the No Child Left Behind Act to help every child learn to read; and provide seniors with a prescription drug benefit.
The President has accomplished a lot in the past three and half years but there is much more he would like to accomplish. He will continue to help strength our homeland defense and lay a strong groundwork to win the War on Terrorism. He has put forward plans to save Social Security, secure pension plans and enhance retirement security for all Americans. And he has a comprehensive energy plan to make America less dependent on foreign oil.
Earlier this week, our son's re-election team announced their "March to a Million" campaign. Never before has a presidential campaign received contributions from over one million supporters. With your help, we'll make history.
www.GeorgeWBush.com/Million/
This election is going to be a tough one. That is why I'm asking for your support. For months the President has been facing negative advertising from John Kerry and all sorts of pro-Kerry groups. I've been particularly disappointed in the personal attacks.
Your donation, no matter what the size, will help advertise the President's positive agenda for America and deliver his compassionate conservative message directly to the voters.
www.GeorgeWBush.com/Million/
America needs a strong leader like George W. Bush. He is the right man to lead America during these challenging times.
Thank you very much for your support today. I hope you and your family enjoy a wonderful Mother's Day.
Sincerely,
Barbara Bush
Amazing!
Even Hallmark cards must be impressed by the way they have managed to link an artificially created marketing day to a presidential election (though I suspect Hallmark will still make more money out of Mothers Day than Dubya will).
I particularly like the line - I've been particularly disappointed in the personal attacks - there's nothing like a mothers mild guilt-inducing rebuke to strike home!
And what a strong leader he is. So strong he has to get his mum to write to people asking them to stop attacking him, and give him money.
I wouldn't mind if the alternative was a political tour-de-force oozing power, charisma, intelligance and charm, but John Kerry cannot be accused of being any of those things.
whateer happened to politicians like Thatcher and Reagan. Love 'em or hate 'em, at least you knew where they stood and everyone had an opinion, and neither of them got their mum out fundraising! This lot I just pity.
POLITICS, IRAQ ETC ETC
I hate to bring politics into a blog that i have tried to kewep free of anything ijnteresting at all, but does anyone else think that Bush has made a complete cock-up of his handling of this whole "Iraq abuse" scandal?
Why didn't he immediately apologise?
Why didn't he apologise live on Arab TV when he had the chance?
Why is he defending Rumsfeld and refusing to fire him?
I can only assume he is being advised by idiots.
Meantime his approval ratings are plummeting and if things continue the way they are going then Kerry only has to keep his nose clean and he's as good as in the White House come november. Not that that will make much difference to American politics in the eyes of the world - he's just not-quite-as-right-wing-as-Bush, but by no means a leftie (as least not the european version of a leftie - I know Attila and Genghis both view him as only 1 step short of communist)
I hate to bring politics into a blog that i have tried to kewep free of anything ijnteresting at all, but does anyone else think that Bush has made a complete cock-up of his handling of this whole "Iraq abuse" scandal?
Why didn't he immediately apologise?
Why didn't he apologise live on Arab TV when he had the chance?
Why is he defending Rumsfeld and refusing to fire him?
I can only assume he is being advised by idiots.
Meantime his approval ratings are plummeting and if things continue the way they are going then Kerry only has to keep his nose clean and he's as good as in the White House come november. Not that that will make much difference to American politics in the eyes of the world - he's just not-quite-as-right-wing-as-Bush, but by no means a leftie (as least not the european version of a leftie - I know Attila and Genghis both view him as only 1 step short of communist)
Thursday, May 06, 2004
PROOF THAT TOO MUCH GARLIC IS BAD FOR YOU
Garlic is often touted these days as a miracle cure for many ailments, and garlic supplements are widely available and used to counter colds, flu, sars and lord knows what else, but this story shows that too much garlic can be very harmful indeed.
Never heard of people meeting a SMELLY end before.
Garlic is often touted these days as a miracle cure for many ailments, and garlic supplements are widely available and used to counter colds, flu, sars and lord knows what else, but this story shows that too much garlic can be very harmful indeed.
Never heard of people meeting a SMELLY end before.
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
THE MOTORING SECTION
To the governement driver of Toyota Crown Comfort, reg no AM69 - just because it is raining a little does NOT mean you have to crawl along straight roads at 20km/h. Tyre manufacturers have in fact noticed that water decreases grip, and so have employed the cunning device of "tread" in the tyre to ensure contact is maintained between the tyre and the road. I do agree that occasionally, in very heavy rain on a flat surface, this may fail and a car may aquaplane, but we had light drizzle this morning and were driving down the side of a mountain.
And to Taxi reg KT7648 - I left a space between myself and the car in front in case he should decide to brake, to give myself room to avoid crashing into the back of him. It's a basic driving tactic and something you should have learnt yourself when learning to drive (assuming you ever had lessons). I did NOT leave a space so you could pull in without indicating and leave me about 1 1/2 centimetres of space, arsehole. Please remember that next time you wonder why there is an angry gweilo right behind you screaming obscenities and gesticulating.
To the governement driver of Toyota Crown Comfort, reg no AM69 - just because it is raining a little does NOT mean you have to crawl along straight roads at 20km/h. Tyre manufacturers have in fact noticed that water decreases grip, and so have employed the cunning device of "tread" in the tyre to ensure contact is maintained between the tyre and the road. I do agree that occasionally, in very heavy rain on a flat surface, this may fail and a car may aquaplane, but we had light drizzle this morning and were driving down the side of a mountain.
And to Taxi reg KT7648 - I left a space between myself and the car in front in case he should decide to brake, to give myself room to avoid crashing into the back of him. It's a basic driving tactic and something you should have learnt yourself when learning to drive (assuming you ever had lessons). I did NOT leave a space so you could pull in without indicating and leave me about 1 1/2 centimetres of space, arsehole. Please remember that next time you wonder why there is an angry gweilo right behind you screaming obscenities and gesticulating.
Monday, May 03, 2004
"FROM THE SUBLIME TO THE DOMESTIC"
When Mrs Chariot and I first arrived in Hong Kong our weekends were one long hedonistic splurge. Food, booze, sunshine, boats, beaches, hangovers - marvellous.
Now, 2 dogs, 1 baby and 1 on the way later, our weekends consist of up at 7am for feeding / walking, not going anywhere cos it's too much hassle to load everything and everyone into the car, doing chores around the house, than an early night 'cos i'm going to be up with the lark the next day to repeat the process. We did manage to break out briefly this weekend - we went to a barbeque at a neighbours place - a good 30 second walk away, but that was it.
As Mrs C said on sunday afternoon while we were watching the little charioteer splashing in his paddling pool, our weekends have gone from the sublime to the domestic...
Sure sign of encroaching middle-age though, is that actually i enjoy it!
When Mrs Chariot and I first arrived in Hong Kong our weekends were one long hedonistic splurge. Food, booze, sunshine, boats, beaches, hangovers - marvellous.
Now, 2 dogs, 1 baby and 1 on the way later, our weekends consist of up at 7am for feeding / walking, not going anywhere cos it's too much hassle to load everything and everyone into the car, doing chores around the house, than an early night 'cos i'm going to be up with the lark the next day to repeat the process. We did manage to break out briefly this weekend - we went to a barbeque at a neighbours place - a good 30 second walk away, but that was it.
As Mrs C said on sunday afternoon while we were watching the little charioteer splashing in his paddling pool, our weekends have gone from the sublime to the domestic...
Sure sign of encroaching middle-age though, is that actually i enjoy it!