Thursday, September 02, 2004

KEEPING UP WITH THE CHAN’S

I have just noticed that in the little block of houses we live in there is a huge war of one-up-manship going on. The place we call home is one of ten pretty much identical houses. Three are inhabited by gweilos and the rest by Asians. Several are actually owned and inhabited by locals.

As goes on everywhere in the world, the owner/occupiers are all very keen to show the world how well they are doing. Unfortunately they are rather constrained by the identical nature of the houses. They can, however, show off in the car park.

Over the last 4 or 5 days I have been shuttling around the Peak to and from home and the hospital to visit Mrs C and no.1 Daughter in the family car – a LandRover Dullmobile (top tip – NEVER, EVER, BUY A LANDROVER. This is the worst car I have ever owned and I’ve been through a few). Obviously I have been trekking in and out of our parking area frequently. As a result I have just realised that a full scale war is going on between the occupants of houses 6 and 7 (local owner/occupiers).

In House 6’s parking area (2 spaces allotted per house – a lot of juggling goes on) is a Porsche Cayenne Turbo S, a Mercedes ML 55 AMG, a Mercedes SL 55 AMG and an Audi A4 3.0 Quattro Estate. A pretty impressive line-up. Total new price probably somewhere in the region of HKD7,500,000

House 7 however has, on the surface at least, trumped them with a Ferrari 360, a Porsche 996 Turbo Cabriolet, an Aston Martin DB7 Vantage, and as a runaround, a Mini Cooper S. Total new price somewhere in the region of HK$8,500,000

So House 7 is the winner then.

Or are they?

House 7 is actually falling off the pace. Porsche have just announced their “new” 911, the 997, to replace the old 996. Aston Martin have launched the DB9 and Ferrari have just announced their new model, the 430 to replace the 360. Only one of their cars is the latest model, whereas all House 6’s are spot on up-to-date. House 7 has some serious pending to do to update the present collection.

And there is a clincher.

House 7 are actually forced to use their cars for transport. All have been seen to move. The horror.

House 6 don’t even pretend to use theirs for transport. Every morning a latest model gold-coloured (obviously) Mercedes S 500 turns up and collects the man of the house, whisks him away to wherever he works, and then returns to ferry Mrs TaiTai to whichever shop takes her fancy today. In the evenings it then returns bearing the bread-winner back to his abode. Their “display” cars almost never move except to be juggled by the driver to get them into the parking spaces available.

A magnificently gratuitous display of wealth.

I meanwhile, have a 1995 Rover Mini as car no.2 for my commute. I’m trying to play the “so-rich-I-don’t-need-to-lower-myself-to-play-your-silly-game-of-one-up-manship” card but sadly I don’t think anyone’s fooled.