THEY MUST BE TAKING THE PISS?
An athlete helps out his mates by providing urine samples for them to give to testing authorities, and then they all fail because he has taken a banned diuretic...
A Farul Constanta player has admitted supplying urine for two team mates who failed dope tests after a Romanian first division match last month.
A Romanian Professional League (LPF) official said on Thursday an investigation had shown that the urine samples taken from midfielders Iulian Apostol and Adrian Senin were completed by Mihai Baicu.
"Baicu confirmed he had made a contribution to his colleagues' urine samples because they were not able to offer enough substance after the effort of the match," LPF first vice-president Robi Urs told Reuters.
"Baicu revealed that he had taken the diuretic substance of furosemide in order to lose some weight but he did not know that it was a banned substance," Urs said.
"He put his urine in his team mates' test tubes with their agreement."
Urs said the investigation would be extended to the medical team who gathered the samples after Farul Constanta drew 1-1 with Sportul Studentesc.
"If convicted of fresh charges, all three players will be punished for forging the doping investigation's results...The punishment will surely be more severe than for the first doping offence," Urs said.
Under the Romanian soccer federation's rules, a player failing a dope test faces a ban of up to two years if the result of a second sample also proves positive.
Thursday, September 30, 2004
RULE BRITANNIA
The Paralympics have just finished in Greece which means that finally we can forget all about the Summer Olympics for another 4 years. The Winter Olympics of course are another thing altogether but at least in post of those “sports” there’s a reasonable chance of someone injuring themselves severely, and of course we have the bonus of the fact that the Chinese are crap at winter sports so it’s not shown here at all anyway.
Normally the Paralympics don’t even register in my consciousness as they are the same sports as in the normal Olympics only played by people who are nowhere near as good. In fact it’s only in comparison with the Paralympics that the Olympics becomes worth watching.
This year however I heard something on the radio that prompted me to got the trouble of checking the BBC website.
It seems that when it comes to Paralympic games we are world beaters. Apparently we are hopeless at most normal games, but lop a limb off us and we immediately become unstoppable! We got 35 gold medals this year, which puts us second in the table behind China (and I think most would agree they have more than their fair share of cripples so are bound to be able to find a few good ones. In fact the cynic in me questions whether they don’t just take their B team who couldn’t quite make the grade for the normal games and removed a few strategic body parts). But most importantly, and the only reason I even bothered to take note of this, is that this also put us way ahead of those cocky little Aussies, who scraped together a measly 26 golds, though they were better at being second or third best than us (presumably usually behind as British gold medal winner).
It seems that, having invented most of the sports and games that matter in the world (in our spare time, when we weren’t busy building the greatest empire the world has ever seen), and then perfected them, us Brits have decided to let the rest of the world have a run at the “able-bodied” version of these activities while we concentrate on making things as hard as possible for ourselves by playing them without the benefit of things like legs, arms or eyesight.
For those who care the top 10 table is…
Rank Country Gold Silver Bronze Total
1. China 63 46 32 141
2. G.B. 35 30 29 94
3. Canada 28 19 25 72
4. U.S.A. 27 22 39 88
5. Australia 26 38 36 100
6. Ukraine 24 12 19 55
7. Spain 20 27 24 71
8. Germany 19 28 32 79
9. France 18 26 30 74
10. Japan 17 15 20 52
compared to the “normal” games where we just scrape in…
Rank Country Gold Silver Bronze Total
1 U.S.A. 35 39 29 103
2 China 32 17 14 63
3 Russia 27 27 38 92
4 Australia 17 16 16 49
5 Japan 16 9 12 37
6 Germany 14 16 18 48
7 France 11 9 13 33
8 Italy 10 11 11 32
9 S. Korea 9 12 9 30
10 G.B. 9 9 12 30
Thank God there are 4 more years before we have to go through all this again.
The Paralympics have just finished in Greece which means that finally we can forget all about the Summer Olympics for another 4 years. The Winter Olympics of course are another thing altogether but at least in post of those “sports” there’s a reasonable chance of someone injuring themselves severely, and of course we have the bonus of the fact that the Chinese are crap at winter sports so it’s not shown here at all anyway.
Normally the Paralympics don’t even register in my consciousness as they are the same sports as in the normal Olympics only played by people who are nowhere near as good. In fact it’s only in comparison with the Paralympics that the Olympics becomes worth watching.
This year however I heard something on the radio that prompted me to got the trouble of checking the BBC website.
It seems that when it comes to Paralympic games we are world beaters. Apparently we are hopeless at most normal games, but lop a limb off us and we immediately become unstoppable! We got 35 gold medals this year, which puts us second in the table behind China (and I think most would agree they have more than their fair share of cripples so are bound to be able to find a few good ones. In fact the cynic in me questions whether they don’t just take their B team who couldn’t quite make the grade for the normal games and removed a few strategic body parts). But most importantly, and the only reason I even bothered to take note of this, is that this also put us way ahead of those cocky little Aussies, who scraped together a measly 26 golds, though they were better at being second or third best than us (presumably usually behind as British gold medal winner).
It seems that, having invented most of the sports and games that matter in the world (in our spare time, when we weren’t busy building the greatest empire the world has ever seen), and then perfected them, us Brits have decided to let the rest of the world have a run at the “able-bodied” version of these activities while we concentrate on making things as hard as possible for ourselves by playing them without the benefit of things like legs, arms or eyesight.
For those who care the top 10 table is…
Rank Country Gold Silver Bronze Total
1. China 63 46 32 141
2. G.B. 35 30 29 94
3. Canada 28 19 25 72
4. U.S.A. 27 22 39 88
5. Australia 26 38 36 100
6. Ukraine 24 12 19 55
7. Spain 20 27 24 71
8. Germany 19 28 32 79
9. France 18 26 30 74
10. Japan 17 15 20 52
compared to the “normal” games where we just scrape in…
Rank Country Gold Silver Bronze Total
1 U.S.A. 35 39 29 103
2 China 32 17 14 63
3 Russia 27 27 38 92
4 Australia 17 16 16 49
5 Japan 16 9 12 37
6 Germany 14 16 18 48
7 France 11 9 13 33
8 Italy 10 11 11 32
9 S. Korea 9 12 9 30
10 G.B. 9 9 12 30
Thank God there are 4 more years before we have to go through all this again.
JOKES
Shamelessly stolen from the comedians at the Edinburgh Fringe
The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died... Dido must be
sh*tting herself. (Colin & Fergus at the Pleasance)
My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I
was never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two grams to get me to
sleep at night. (Susan Murray at the Underbelly)
Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people
were given pointed sticks? (Adam Bloom at the Pleasance)
My mum and dad are Scottish but they moved down to Wolverhampton when I
was two, 'cause they wanted me to sound like a tw*t. (Susan Murray at
the Underbelly)
Q: Who are the most decent people in the hospital?
A: The ultrasound people.
(David O'Doherty at the Gilded Balloon)
I went to the airport to check in and they asked what I did because I
looked like a terrorist. I said I was a comedian. They said, "Say
something funny then." I told them I had just graduated from flying
school. (Ahmed Ahmed at C34)
A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She
said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "All
right, but we're not going to get much done." (Jimmy Carr at the ICC)
I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
(Marcus Brigstocke at the Assembly Rooms)
Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you on its
hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that
they're enjoying it as well. (Scott Capurro at the Pleasance)
My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help
thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen. (Jimmy Carr at
the ICC)
You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you,
because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite
flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn't listening ... Self-
raising?" (Addy Van-Der-Borgh at the Assembly Rooms)
The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and
punched someone in the face. (Jeremy Limb, at the Trap)
Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation. (Jimmy
Carr)
My friend said to me: "You must be more American," so I went to have
botox. The surgeon said to me: "That's $8,000." I couldn't even look
shocked. (Shazia Mirza at the Pleasance)
I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought
the obvious one was "Shout For Help". (Mark Watson, Rhod Gilbert at the
Tron)
I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take the
Girl out of Cork ... (Markus Birdman at the Pod Deco)
Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along.
Turned out it was a bloody hoax. (Adrian Poynton at the Pleasance)
A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please". The
hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go join The
circus?" The dog replies: "Well, what would the circus want with a
plumber". (Steven Alan Green at C34)
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a
winner and a loser at the same time. (Demetri Martin at the Assembly
Rooms)
An American girl hit on me in a club and asked me to make her an Egyptian
princess. So I threw a sheet over her head and told her to be quiet.
(Ahmed Ahmed at C34)
Walking down Princes Street, soaking up the atmosphere, I saw a big sign
that said: "Bus tours, ten quid." So I thought I'd give it a try... What
a rip off. Ten quid to have a look round a bus! (Seymour Mace at Cafe
Royal)
I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I've already
got one!" (Norman Lovett at The Stand)
The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm
bears. (Chris Addison at the Pleasance)
Ask people about God nowadays and they usually reply, "I'm not religious,
but deep down, I'm a very spiritual person." What this phrase really
means is: "I'm afraid of dying, but I can't be arsed going to church."
(Colin Ramone at The Stand)
50 Cent, or as he's called over here, approximately 29p. (Sarah Kendall
at the Pleasance)
I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign:
"This door is alarmed." I said to myself: "How do you think I feel?"
(Arnold Brown at The Stand)
Shamelessly stolen from the comedians at the Edinburgh Fringe
The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died... Dido must be
sh*tting herself. (Colin & Fergus at the Pleasance)
My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I
was never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two grams to get me to
sleep at night. (Susan Murray at the Underbelly)
Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people
were given pointed sticks? (Adam Bloom at the Pleasance)
My mum and dad are Scottish but they moved down to Wolverhampton when I
was two, 'cause they wanted me to sound like a tw*t. (Susan Murray at
the Underbelly)
Q: Who are the most decent people in the hospital?
A: The ultrasound people.
(David O'Doherty at the Gilded Balloon)
I went to the airport to check in and they asked what I did because I
looked like a terrorist. I said I was a comedian. They said, "Say
something funny then." I told them I had just graduated from flying
school. (Ahmed Ahmed at C34)
A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She
said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "All
right, but we're not going to get much done." (Jimmy Carr at the ICC)
I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
(Marcus Brigstocke at the Assembly Rooms)
Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you on its
hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that
they're enjoying it as well. (Scott Capurro at the Pleasance)
My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help
thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen. (Jimmy Carr at
the ICC)
You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you,
because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite
flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn't listening ... Self-
raising?" (Addy Van-Der-Borgh at the Assembly Rooms)
The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and
punched someone in the face. (Jeremy Limb, at the Trap)
Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation. (Jimmy
Carr)
My friend said to me: "You must be more American," so I went to have
botox. The surgeon said to me: "That's $8,000." I couldn't even look
shocked. (Shazia Mirza at the Pleasance)
I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought
the obvious one was "Shout For Help". (Mark Watson, Rhod Gilbert at the
Tron)
I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take the
Girl out of Cork ... (Markus Birdman at the Pod Deco)
Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along.
Turned out it was a bloody hoax. (Adrian Poynton at the Pleasance)
A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please". The
hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go join The
circus?" The dog replies: "Well, what would the circus want with a
plumber". (Steven Alan Green at C34)
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a
winner and a loser at the same time. (Demetri Martin at the Assembly
Rooms)
An American girl hit on me in a club and asked me to make her an Egyptian
princess. So I threw a sheet over her head and told her to be quiet.
(Ahmed Ahmed at C34)
Walking down Princes Street, soaking up the atmosphere, I saw a big sign
that said: "Bus tours, ten quid." So I thought I'd give it a try... What
a rip off. Ten quid to have a look round a bus! (Seymour Mace at Cafe
Royal)
I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I've already
got one!" (Norman Lovett at The Stand)
The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm
bears. (Chris Addison at the Pleasance)
Ask people about God nowadays and they usually reply, "I'm not religious,
but deep down, I'm a very spiritual person." What this phrase really
means is: "I'm afraid of dying, but I can't be arsed going to church."
(Colin Ramone at The Stand)
50 Cent, or as he's called over here, approximately 29p. (Sarah Kendall
at the Pleasance)
I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign:
"This door is alarmed." I said to myself: "How do you think I feel?"
(Arnold Brown at The Stand)
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
HAPPY MID-AUTUMN FESTIVAL ALL
And before we all settle down to our traditional egg and lard pasties (apparently they are traditional because the locals used to smuggle messages inside them to avoid detection by the then-conquering Mongolians. The reason this was the best way to pass messages is because no sane Mongolian, or indeed anyone else, would ever bite into something as revolting as a mooncake, and so the messages would never be discovered), here are a few Killer Facts
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??)
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time... Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only In tropical fish stores.
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (!)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
Starfish don't have brains.
And before we all settle down to our traditional egg and lard pasties (apparently they are traditional because the locals used to smuggle messages inside them to avoid detection by the then-conquering Mongolians. The reason this was the best way to pass messages is because no sane Mongolian, or indeed anyone else, would ever bite into something as revolting as a mooncake, and so the messages would never be discovered), here are a few Killer Facts
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??)
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time... Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only In tropical fish stores.
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (!)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
Starfish don't have brains.
Monday, September 27, 2004
TAILOR-MADE
Have just returned from a very agreeable bit of Dim Sum in City Hall. To get there and back I had to run the gauntlet of hawkers by the Star Ferry asking if I wanted a suit making. There seem to be more of them every day, and they're becoming more persistent. Next time I'm thinking of saying no to a suit but asking one of them to make me a shirt with the words "NO I DON'T WANT A FCUKING SUIT" emblazoned across the front.
Have just returned from a very agreeable bit of Dim Sum in City Hall. To get there and back I had to run the gauntlet of hawkers by the Star Ferry asking if I wanted a suit making. There seem to be more of them every day, and they're becoming more persistent. Next time I'm thinking of saying no to a suit but asking one of them to make me a shirt with the words "NO I DON'T WANT A FCUKING SUIT" emblazoned across the front.
KEEPING UP WITH THE CHANS
A late entrant in the game!
House 9 have made a sudden play to join the list!
Previously they were out of the running with merely a 4yr old Porsche 911 and a couple of year old S Class Merc, but on Saturday they upped the stakes.
A metallic light blue Ferrari 612 Scaglietti appeared in their parking space, squeezed in between the Porker and the Merc.
At a conservative estimate that is HK$3million worth of car.
Unfortunately the 612 is the ugliest Ferrari for years. It looks all bug–eyed and the radiator grille looks like a stupid grinning mouth. I'm sure the perfomance, technology etc etc are amazing, but is is attempting to replace the stunningly beautiful and understated Ferrari 456. Just goes to show that money and taste don't necessarily go together, though on the plus side at least the new car isn't yellow!
A late entrant in the game!
House 9 have made a sudden play to join the list!
Previously they were out of the running with merely a 4yr old Porsche 911 and a couple of year old S Class Merc, but on Saturday they upped the stakes.
A metallic light blue Ferrari 612 Scaglietti appeared in their parking space, squeezed in between the Porker and the Merc.
At a conservative estimate that is HK$3million worth of car.
Unfortunately the 612 is the ugliest Ferrari for years. It looks all bug–eyed and the radiator grille looks like a stupid grinning mouth. I'm sure the perfomance, technology etc etc are amazing, but is is attempting to replace the stunningly beautiful and understated Ferrari 456. Just goes to show that money and taste don't necessarily go together, though on the plus side at least the new car isn't yellow!
RESULTS ROUND UP
Leicester Tigers 32 - Northampton Saints 13
A thumping
England 217 all out - West Indies 218-8
Not a thumping, but still a handsome win for the Windies. A real shame for England but if you let numbers 9+10 put on 70 runs then you don't deserve to win I'm afraid.
Formula 1 (or Formula 12 if you're Attila)
For once it wasn't a procession. Finally an interesting race. Lots of incidents, lots of overtaking, a few crashes and knocks - overall an excellent debut from Shanghai. And a Ferrari won, but not the one expected. I might well give it a whirl to go next year.
Leicester Tigers 32 - Northampton Saints 13
A thumping
England 217 all out - West Indies 218-8
Not a thumping, but still a handsome win for the Windies. A real shame for England but if you let numbers 9+10 put on 70 runs then you don't deserve to win I'm afraid.
Formula 1 (or Formula 12 if you're Attila)
For once it wasn't a procession. Finally an interesting race. Lots of incidents, lots of overtaking, a few crashes and knocks - overall an excellent debut from Shanghai. And a Ferrari won, but not the one expected. I might well give it a whirl to go next year.
Friday, September 24, 2004
WEEKENDS SPORT PREVIEW
Cricket
England take on the West Indies at the Oval on Saturday for the title of ICC Champions. If England win it would be there first ever one-day cricket title, having failed in 3 World Cup finals. This mini world cup has been a pretty damp squib so far, with the main highlight being England giving the Aussies a hiding for once in the semis. It should be a cracking game with both sides seeming to play well above themselves at present, and big names such as Lara, Sarwan, Flintoff and Harmison will all have opportunities to display their talents. I think at least an hour nursing a lemonade at the bar in Dot Cod will be required at some point.
Rugby
Tigers v Saints this weekend! It’s the big midlands local derby, Leicester v Northampton. Northampton are second only to Bath in the average Tigers fans “team you most want to beat” list and a victory would be sweet indeed. For Leicester the major news is that first choice fly-half, Andy Goode, will be out for six weeks with a knee injury which means we have a 19 year-old debutant Ross Broadfoot at fly-half. Heck of a game to start your career in.
Soccer
Some mindless thugs will try to kick a ball around, while on the terraces some mindless thugs will try to kick each other. In Asia people will bet on the outcome. The winner (in HK at least) will be the Hong Kong Jockey Club. Sounds like fun eh.
Formula One
I must admit that I used to be a big fan of F1, but the races became so boring, with so little overtaking, that I largely gave up on it. I will however be watching the race this weekend. China’s first attempt to host such an event could be interesting and the track is supposed to be excellent, with plenty of space for overtaking manouevres. Fingers crossed for a good race. A measure of how new the Chinese are to this sport though is that one local journalist asked Michael Schumacher (who drives for Ferrari, the well known blood-red liveried racing cars for those of you who have spent the last 50 yrs living under a rock) why he always wears red!
Cricket
England take on the West Indies at the Oval on Saturday for the title of ICC Champions. If England win it would be there first ever one-day cricket title, having failed in 3 World Cup finals. This mini world cup has been a pretty damp squib so far, with the main highlight being England giving the Aussies a hiding for once in the semis. It should be a cracking game with both sides seeming to play well above themselves at present, and big names such as Lara, Sarwan, Flintoff and Harmison will all have opportunities to display their talents. I think at least an hour nursing a lemonade at the bar in Dot Cod will be required at some point.
Rugby
Tigers v Saints this weekend! It’s the big midlands local derby, Leicester v Northampton. Northampton are second only to Bath in the average Tigers fans “team you most want to beat” list and a victory would be sweet indeed. For Leicester the major news is that first choice fly-half, Andy Goode, will be out for six weeks with a knee injury which means we have a 19 year-old debutant Ross Broadfoot at fly-half. Heck of a game to start your career in.
Soccer
Some mindless thugs will try to kick a ball around, while on the terraces some mindless thugs will try to kick each other. In Asia people will bet on the outcome. The winner (in HK at least) will be the Hong Kong Jockey Club. Sounds like fun eh.
Formula One
I must admit that I used to be a big fan of F1, but the races became so boring, with so little overtaking, that I largely gave up on it. I will however be watching the race this weekend. China’s first attempt to host such an event could be interesting and the track is supposed to be excellent, with plenty of space for overtaking manouevres. Fingers crossed for a good race. A measure of how new the Chinese are to this sport though is that one local journalist asked Michael Schumacher (who drives for Ferrari, the well known blood-red liveried racing cars for those of you who have spent the last 50 yrs living under a rock) why he always wears red!
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
SECURITY
The world is on high alert. Everything, and every move, is closely scrutinised.
My watch set off the metal detectors in Singapore airport last week.
In America you are no-longer allowed to lock your hold luggage on flights so that it can all be easily checked (and stolen).
All over Europe and the USA, closed circuit TV cameras are appearing everywhere under the guise of "national security".
In Asia, Singapore, Indonesia and Malaysia are working together to try to stamp out piracy in the Malacca Strait, partly for economic reasons and partly for fear of a sea-borne terrorist attack.
In Africa however, it's business as usual - Missing tanker "shame" in Nigeria.
How the hell do you lose a full oil tanker?
And there might be another one missing too but they can't confirm that?
Why bother attacking a ship and risking the navy turning up, when you can just go to Africa and take one.
The world is on high alert. Everything, and every move, is closely scrutinised.
My watch set off the metal detectors in Singapore airport last week.
In America you are no-longer allowed to lock your hold luggage on flights so that it can all be easily checked (and stolen).
All over Europe and the USA, closed circuit TV cameras are appearing everywhere under the guise of "national security".
In Asia, Singapore, Indonesia and Malaysia are working together to try to stamp out piracy in the Malacca Strait, partly for economic reasons and partly for fear of a sea-borne terrorist attack.
In Africa however, it's business as usual - Missing tanker "shame" in Nigeria.
How the hell do you lose a full oil tanker?
And there might be another one missing too but they can't confirm that?
Why bother attacking a ship and risking the navy turning up, when you can just go to Africa and take one.
Monday, September 20, 2004
COME TO PAPA
Perhaps, if we all wish hard enough, it'll come to Hong Kong and give us a nice day off to mark the end of the summer.
Or perhaps it'll turn up on 1 Oct, wreck our legitimate day off, and turn the fireworks into a damp squib.
Or perhaps it'll just go to Taiwan like all the others this year.
How come they get all the luck?
Perhaps, if we all wish hard enough, it'll come to Hong Kong and give us a nice day off to mark the end of the summer.
Or perhaps it'll turn up on 1 Oct, wreck our legitimate day off, and turn the fireworks into a damp squib.
Or perhaps it'll just go to Taiwan like all the others this year.
How come they get all the luck?
Saturday, September 18, 2004
CHASE HIM LADIES, HE'S IN THE CAVALRY
So Harry is off to Colombia. Those of us sad enough to work in a bank will probably never get to Colombia, but we do have access to useful info for him. The graph below is the number of kidnappings per month in Colombia.
The fact that there are enough to make a graph is enough to mean I probably won't be going anytime soon either!
Good luck Harry
So Harry is off to Colombia. Those of us sad enough to work in a bank will probably never get to Colombia, but we do have access to useful info for him. The graph below is the number of kidnappings per month in Colombia.
The fact that there are enough to make a graph is enough to mean I probably won't be going anytime soon either!
Good luck Harry
Friday, September 17, 2004
TECHNOLOGY RANT
We are moving buildings in two weeks. This lunchtime I have to go to the new building to check PC's, systems etc.
Currently I have 15 systems that I have to log in to, most of them daily, all with different username and password combinations obviously (we are not allowed to write these down so if anyone asks mine are absolutely NOT written on a piece of A4 in the back of my daily trade sheet folder).
Anyone care to make a market in how many will actually be working?
We are moving buildings in two weeks. This lunchtime I have to go to the new building to check PC's, systems etc.
Currently I have 15 systems that I have to log in to, most of them daily, all with different username and password combinations obviously (we are not allowed to write these down so if anyone asks mine are absolutely NOT written on a piece of A4 in the back of my daily trade sheet folder).
Anyone care to make a market in how many will actually be working?
HOME SWEET HOME
Back from Sunny Singapore (weather as always - 32 deg and a chance of rain) to lovely Hong Kong.
Ahhhhhh smell that fresh air.
Admire that view.
What’s that?
You’re choking? The back of your throat is burning? Your eyes are watering? You can’t see Kowloon? You have to stay indoors?
But have no fear. According to the SCMP “scientists in the city and Guangdong are trying to maker things better”.
HURRAH.
“Recognising Hong Kong and the Pearl River Delta are one when it comes to pollution, they will spend the next two years studying how to give earlier warnings of when smog is about to descend”
HOLD ON
Surely they mean “spend the next two years studying how to prevent smog”,
Quick reread confirms my worst fears - “spend the next two years studying how to give earlier warnings of when smog is about to descend”
Well that’s alright then.
Back from Sunny Singapore (weather as always - 32 deg and a chance of rain) to lovely Hong Kong.
Ahhhhhh smell that fresh air.
Admire that view.
What’s that?
You’re choking? The back of your throat is burning? Your eyes are watering? You can’t see Kowloon? You have to stay indoors?
But have no fear. According to the SCMP “scientists in the city and Guangdong are trying to maker things better”.
HURRAH.
“Recognising Hong Kong and the Pearl River Delta are one when it comes to pollution, they will spend the next two years studying how to give earlier warnings of when smog is about to descend”
HOLD ON
Surely they mean “spend the next two years studying how to prevent smog”,
Quick reread confirms my worst fears - “spend the next two years studying how to give earlier warnings of when smog is about to descend”
Well that’s alright then.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Monday, September 13, 2004
Expatriates fear Brown plans to charge them full tax rate By Toby Helm, Chief Political Correspondent(Filed: 10/08/2004)
(cut and pasted from the Telegraph website)
Two million Britons living abroad could face higher taxes after the Treasury refused to rule out changes in the regime for non-resident nationals.
Expatriates fear it could impose an American-style system under which they would pay the same income tax total as if they remained in Britain.
Non-residents are not taxed by Britain on income arising from work carried out wholly overseas but are subject to the tax regimes of the country where they live.
Americans living abroad have to make up the difference if local taxes are less than they would pay at home.
Liam Fox, the Conservative Party chairman, wrote to Gordon Brown, the Chancellor, about his plans after returning from a tour of Hong Kong, Dubai and South Africa during which Britons voiced their fears about persistent rumours of tax rises.
Dr Fox also believes the Treasury may reduce from 90 to 30 the number of days non-residents can spend in this country before becoming liable to tax. Exemptions from capital gains tax are also said to be under threat.
The Treasury did not rule out changes and said the issue of non-residents' tax arrangements had been under review for several years. Officials insisted, however, that they did not believe big changes were imminent.
That view was echoed by independent tax experts who said the changes would be more about modernisation than punitive change. A Treasury spokesman said: "Tax policy is made in Budgets not in response to Liam Fox's overseas visits."
In his pre-Budget report last December, Mr Brown said the whole issue was "complex and far-reaching". The Treasury would consider reform after further consultation.
Dr Fox said: "It is clear from the Treasury's lack of a denial that it is looking at new ways to milk British taxpayers whether they live in the United Kingdom or not.
"This will only add to the impression that Gordon Brown is identifying tax rises should Labour win a third term. No taxpayer will be safe whether they live in Britain or not."
A Labour spokesman accused him of whipping up concerns and claimed the real purpose of his trip had been to raise money from rich businessmen for Tory coffers.
"Liam Fox is like a travelling salesman hawking Tory Party policy round the Far East to the highest bidder."In his letter to Mr Brown, Mr Fox said the rumoured reforms would affect the willingness of people to move abroad to work for British companies exporting overseas.
I do realise that this is a very right-wing paper and they're probably playing the story up to try to drum up a few expat votes for the next election, but even so it's alarming.
I don't care about reducing the number of days from 90 to 30 before you become eligible for tax, in fact I'd like them to reduce it further so I never need to go again, but the tax thing is definitely scary. It doesn't sound like anything is imminent but if this does turn out to be true then it's time to consider another passport I think. Fortunately there seem to lots of them out there. I shall try the following sporting refrains for size and see which fits - Allez les bleus, forza azzuri, nkosi sikelele Africa malup hakanyiswu phondolwayo (hmmm - that looks a bit tricky. Might have to stick with - bokke, bokke, bokke...), waltzing matilda waltzing matilda, who'll come a-waltzing matilda with me... in fact pretty much anything except ka mate ka mate ka ora ka ora. If I want to be cold and wet I might as well stay British, no need to become a Kiwi.
(cut and pasted from the Telegraph website)
Two million Britons living abroad could face higher taxes after the Treasury refused to rule out changes in the regime for non-resident nationals.
Expatriates fear it could impose an American-style system under which they would pay the same income tax total as if they remained in Britain.
Non-residents are not taxed by Britain on income arising from work carried out wholly overseas but are subject to the tax regimes of the country where they live.
Americans living abroad have to make up the difference if local taxes are less than they would pay at home.
Liam Fox, the Conservative Party chairman, wrote to Gordon Brown, the Chancellor, about his plans after returning from a tour of Hong Kong, Dubai and South Africa during which Britons voiced their fears about persistent rumours of tax rises.
Dr Fox also believes the Treasury may reduce from 90 to 30 the number of days non-residents can spend in this country before becoming liable to tax. Exemptions from capital gains tax are also said to be under threat.
The Treasury did not rule out changes and said the issue of non-residents' tax arrangements had been under review for several years. Officials insisted, however, that they did not believe big changes were imminent.
That view was echoed by independent tax experts who said the changes would be more about modernisation than punitive change. A Treasury spokesman said: "Tax policy is made in Budgets not in response to Liam Fox's overseas visits."
In his pre-Budget report last December, Mr Brown said the whole issue was "complex and far-reaching". The Treasury would consider reform after further consultation.
Dr Fox said: "It is clear from the Treasury's lack of a denial that it is looking at new ways to milk British taxpayers whether they live in the United Kingdom or not.
"This will only add to the impression that Gordon Brown is identifying tax rises should Labour win a third term. No taxpayer will be safe whether they live in Britain or not."
A Labour spokesman accused him of whipping up concerns and claimed the real purpose of his trip had been to raise money from rich businessmen for Tory coffers.
"Liam Fox is like a travelling salesman hawking Tory Party policy round the Far East to the highest bidder."In his letter to Mr Brown, Mr Fox said the rumoured reforms would affect the willingness of people to move abroad to work for British companies exporting overseas.
I do realise that this is a very right-wing paper and they're probably playing the story up to try to drum up a few expat votes for the next election, but even so it's alarming.
I don't care about reducing the number of days from 90 to 30 before you become eligible for tax, in fact I'd like them to reduce it further so I never need to go again, but the tax thing is definitely scary. It doesn't sound like anything is imminent but if this does turn out to be true then it's time to consider another passport I think. Fortunately there seem to lots of them out there. I shall try the following sporting refrains for size and see which fits - Allez les bleus, forza azzuri, nkosi sikelele Africa malup hakanyiswu phondolwayo (hmmm - that looks a bit tricky. Might have to stick with - bokke, bokke, bokke...), waltzing matilda waltzing matilda, who'll come a-waltzing matilda with me... in fact pretty much anything except ka mate ka mate ka ora ka ora. If I want to be cold and wet I might as well stay British, no need to become a Kiwi.
N Korea says it blew up mountain
North Korea has given an explanation for the huge blast last Thursday which prompted speculation that it was a part of a nuclear test.
The country's foreign minister, Paek Nam Sun, said the blast was the deliberate demolition of a mountain as part of a hydro-electric project.
His remarks were in response to a call for information by the visiting UK Foreign Office minister, Bill Rammell.
North Korea had said absolutely nothing about the incident until now.
A mountain???
How the hell do you blow up a mountain???
As a colleague here said, I love it when they lie cos they're really bad at it.
North Korea has given an explanation for the huge blast last Thursday which prompted speculation that it was a part of a nuclear test.
The country's foreign minister, Paek Nam Sun, said the blast was the deliberate demolition of a mountain as part of a hydro-electric project.
His remarks were in response to a call for information by the visiting UK Foreign Office minister, Bill Rammell.
North Korea had said absolutely nothing about the incident until now.
A mountain???
How the hell do you blow up a mountain???
As a colleague here said, I love it when they lie cos they're really bad at it.
I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN….
I blame it all on Tango Martini. Whose stupid idea was it to go there in the first place?
Got home about 2am on Saturday night / Sunday morning.
Got up at 9
Went back to bed at 10
Got up at 12
Went back to bed at 4
Got up at 5
Went back to bed at 9.30
Not good.
Perhaps Billy Connolly was right when he said he had decided to give up drinking when he realized he was no longer any good at it.
Mrs C – sorry to have dumped you with 2 small children and 2 dogs for pretty much the entire day.
And sorry to have cancelled the credit card only to then find it in my trouser pocket.
And no I don’t know why I decided to sleep in the spare room while still wearing my trousers.
I blame it all on Tango Martini. Whose stupid idea was it to go there in the first place?
Got home about 2am on Saturday night / Sunday morning.
Got up at 9
Went back to bed at 10
Got up at 12
Went back to bed at 4
Got up at 5
Went back to bed at 9.30
Not good.
Perhaps Billy Connolly was right when he said he had decided to give up drinking when he realized he was no longer any good at it.
Mrs C – sorry to have dumped you with 2 small children and 2 dogs for pretty much the entire day.
And sorry to have cancelled the credit card only to then find it in my trouser pocket.
And no I don’t know why I decided to sleep in the spare room while still wearing my trousers.
Friday, September 10, 2004
THIS GUY HAS GOT MY VOTE
Germany's Economics minister says beer is so healthy it should be available on the country's health service.
Minister Wolfgang Clement, 64, who can reportedly down a beer in 1.5 seconds, claims he can't get enough of the brew.
"People should be able to get prescriptions for beer through the national health system," he said.
The positive effects of beer were recently confirmed in a paper by Austrian professor Manfred Walzl of the Graz neurological clinic.
According to Walzl, beer reduces the risk of stroke and heart attack, improves circulation, and even acts as an aphrodisiac - if not taken to excess.
He says men can drink up to 1.75 pints a day, and women half of that, in order to experience the healthy effects of beer.
It's almost enough to make me wish I was German.
Only "almost" though
(from ananova.com)
Germany's Economics minister says beer is so healthy it should be available on the country's health service.
Minister Wolfgang Clement, 64, who can reportedly down a beer in 1.5 seconds, claims he can't get enough of the brew.
"People should be able to get prescriptions for beer through the national health system," he said.
The positive effects of beer were recently confirmed in a paper by Austrian professor Manfred Walzl of the Graz neurological clinic.
According to Walzl, beer reduces the risk of stroke and heart attack, improves circulation, and even acts as an aphrodisiac - if not taken to excess.
He says men can drink up to 1.75 pints a day, and women half of that, in order to experience the healthy effects of beer.
It's almost enough to make me wish I was German.
Only "almost" though
(from ananova.com)
BUSH V KERRY
If anything is likely to make Americans vote for Bush, this is - World "wants Kerry as president"
Bush must be dancing for joy.
As we all know Americans are famous for their global outlook and deep understanding and appreciation of foreign countries, cultures, languages, and opinions. I'm sure that none of them will think, "well if the Norwegians / French / Germans / Italians / Spanish / Brits etc etc hate Bush then he must be doing something right after all"
A few more polls like this and he won't even need his little brother in Florida to help him out.
If anything is likely to make Americans vote for Bush, this is - World "wants Kerry as president"
Bush must be dancing for joy.
As we all know Americans are famous for their global outlook and deep understanding and appreciation of foreign countries, cultures, languages, and opinions. I'm sure that none of them will think, "well if the Norwegians / French / Germans / Italians / Spanish / Brits etc etc hate Bush then he must be doing something right after all"
A few more polls like this and he won't even need his little brother in Florida to help him out.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
A couple of stories from Reuters that made me smile
BERLIN, Sept 1 (Reuters) - A man caught having sex with a blow-up doll in a busy public shopping arcade had to be physically parted from his rubber lover and escorted away, said police in Stuttgart on Wednesday.
The 38-year-old man was caught with his trousers down early on Monday evening after alarmed witnesses alerted the police.
"It was real, he was caught in mid-action with the doll," said a press spokeswoman. Police said that they had considerable difficulty separating the drunken man from his partner.
JEDDAH, Sept 1 (Reuters) - Three men were trampled to death in a rush to claim vouchers at the first IKEA furniture showroom in Saudi Arabia on Wednesday, hospital officials said.
Sixteen shoppers were injured at the Sweden-based furniture store's showroom in Jeddah. Medics revived some 20 customers who had fainted in the crush.
The stampede was triggered by an offer for the first 50 shoppers to received $150 vouchers. An official at IKEA's Saudi agent said more than 70,000 people showed up at Jeddah.
Hospital officials said two dead were a Pakistani and a Saudi national.
IKEA is known for simple, reasonably priced products.
They must have forgotten to add “crap” to the description of IKEA furniture. This story would have been believable if it had been 70,000 stampeding AWAY from the place, but to get in? And what does it say about how dull Saudi Arabia is that the opening of cheap furniture store gets a crowd of 70,000?
BERLIN, Sept 1 (Reuters) - A man caught having sex with a blow-up doll in a busy public shopping arcade had to be physically parted from his rubber lover and escorted away, said police in Stuttgart on Wednesday.
The 38-year-old man was caught with his trousers down early on Monday evening after alarmed witnesses alerted the police.
"It was real, he was caught in mid-action with the doll," said a press spokeswoman. Police said that they had considerable difficulty separating the drunken man from his partner.
JEDDAH, Sept 1 (Reuters) - Three men were trampled to death in a rush to claim vouchers at the first IKEA furniture showroom in Saudi Arabia on Wednesday, hospital officials said.
Sixteen shoppers were injured at the Sweden-based furniture store's showroom in Jeddah. Medics revived some 20 customers who had fainted in the crush.
The stampede was triggered by an offer for the first 50 shoppers to received $150 vouchers. An official at IKEA's Saudi agent said more than 70,000 people showed up at Jeddah.
Hospital officials said two dead were a Pakistani and a Saudi national.
IKEA is known for simple, reasonably priced products.
They must have forgotten to add “crap” to the description of IKEA furniture. This story would have been believable if it had been 70,000 stampeding AWAY from the place, but to get in? And what does it say about how dull Saudi Arabia is that the opening of cheap furniture store gets a crowd of 70,000?
CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK
It was nice to see this morning that No.1 son is showing signs of following in his dad's footsteps. To maintain my lean sporting physique I obviously watch what I consume - my body is a temple after all. Thus this morning for breakfast I decided to tuck into a couple of (or maybe it was 3?) slices of Salami Piccante Pizza from Pizzeria Italia that I found in the fridge.
No.1 son was being offered organic muesli, organic egg, and organic banana by Saint Juliet, the world's best amah.
He took 1 look at Dad's breakfast and that was it. He slapped away the proffered spoon of healthy goo and lots of wailing and lots of arm waving ensued until dad gave him a big chunk of pizza, much to Juliet's disgust. Immediately peace and calm returned, and a contented smile spread over his 14mth old face.
A true bonding moment. Dad and son tucking into cold pizza together. Not quite what the baby books would recommend maybe but what the heck.
Good lad.
It was nice to see this morning that No.1 son is showing signs of following in his dad's footsteps. To maintain my lean sporting physique I obviously watch what I consume - my body is a temple after all. Thus this morning for breakfast I decided to tuck into a couple of (or maybe it was 3?) slices of Salami Piccante Pizza from Pizzeria Italia that I found in the fridge.
No.1 son was being offered organic muesli, organic egg, and organic banana by Saint Juliet, the world's best amah.
He took 1 look at Dad's breakfast and that was it. He slapped away the proffered spoon of healthy goo and lots of wailing and lots of arm waving ensued until dad gave him a big chunk of pizza, much to Juliet's disgust. Immediately peace and calm returned, and a contented smile spread over his 14mth old face.
A true bonding moment. Dad and son tucking into cold pizza together. Not quite what the baby books would recommend maybe but what the heck.
Good lad.
I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON
Was particularly unimpressed by the arrival of this morning. Bit of a sleepless night (goes with the "parent" territory I guess) and crap weather meant I was not in the best of moods and I still had to face a hot, humid and slow drive down the hill in an old car with a leaky roof and no air-con.
Solution?
Tom Jones - Reload - on at full blast on the stereo. Marvellous. I'm ready to take on the world.
And if you were one of the slightly alarmed looking people queuing outSide the US Embassy this morning staring at the gweilo in the small car singing along loudly and tunelessly to "sexbomb" then I'm sorry but the alternative was me gunning you all down in anger for looking at me in a funny way so look on the bright side.
Was particularly unimpressed by the arrival of this morning. Bit of a sleepless night (goes with the "parent" territory I guess) and crap weather meant I was not in the best of moods and I still had to face a hot, humid and slow drive down the hill in an old car with a leaky roof and no air-con.
Solution?
Tom Jones - Reload - on at full blast on the stereo. Marvellous. I'm ready to take on the world.
And if you were one of the slightly alarmed looking people queuing outSide the US Embassy this morning staring at the gweilo in the small car singing along loudly and tunelessly to "sexbomb" then I'm sorry but the alternative was me gunning you all down in anger for looking at me in a funny way so look on the bright side.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
TYPHOONS AND COMMON SENSE
Just seen a news story about Typhoon Songda hitting Japan on CNBC. As always they show people head down battling their way down the street, half with their umbrellas open in front of them, half looking at their inside-out and shredded umbrellas in a perplexed and confused state.
How stupid are these people? It's an effing typhoon for Christs sake. Of course it's going to shred your umbrella. And if by some miracle you do manage to hold it perfectly into the wind so that it doesn't get flipped inside out and destroyed all it means is you are effectively creating a huge sail area which is generating maximum wind resistance. You're effectively holding a small spinnaker up in a typhoon and then wondering why you are struggling to make headway against 150+ km/h winds.
For the love of God, people, PUT DOWN THE UMBRELLAS!
Just seen a news story about Typhoon Songda hitting Japan on CNBC. As always they show people head down battling their way down the street, half with their umbrellas open in front of them, half looking at their inside-out and shredded umbrellas in a perplexed and confused state.
How stupid are these people? It's an effing typhoon for Christs sake. Of course it's going to shred your umbrella. And if by some miracle you do manage to hold it perfectly into the wind so that it doesn't get flipped inside out and destroyed all it means is you are effectively creating a huge sail area which is generating maximum wind resistance. You're effectively holding a small spinnaker up in a typhoon and then wondering why you are struggling to make headway against 150+ km/h winds.
For the love of God, people, PUT DOWN THE UMBRELLAS!
NO HONOUR AMONG THIEVES
ZHENGZHOU, China, Sept. 6 (UPI) -- A businessman in China's Henan province complained to police after fake currency he had purchased for business purposes turned out to be waste paper.
The man, who was from Shandong province, told police he had paid 130,000 yuan ($15,000) to buy 560,000 yuan in counterfeit currency from a man in Zhengzhou, the provincial capital.
He said that only two notes in each bundle was real fake currency, the South China Morning Post reported. The rest was only waste paper.
So he went to the police????
ZHENGZHOU, China, Sept. 6 (UPI) -- A businessman in China's Henan province complained to police after fake currency he had purchased for business purposes turned out to be waste paper.
The man, who was from Shandong province, told police he had paid 130,000 yuan ($15,000) to buy 560,000 yuan in counterfeit currency from a man in Zhengzhou, the provincial capital.
He said that only two notes in each bundle was real fake currency, the South China Morning Post reported. The rest was only waste paper.
So he went to the police????
Monday, September 06, 2004
OLYMPIAN SHOWCASE
Apparently there is much outrage that tickets for a demonstration of the prowess of some of the Olympian "athletes" of the Glorious Motherland, plus Hong Kongs own finest, Lai Chok Ko and Ching Li(who lost to China in the Final of the Table Tennis doubles) are trading on the black market for up to ten times the original HK$10 sale price (that is $1.28 or 71pence for Brits).
I'm amazed anyone would have paid the original HK$10 to watch a bit of ping pong, let alone HK$100. In fact I would happily pay HK$1,000 just to guarantee I didn't have to go and see this pathetic and laughable demonstration.
Apparently there is much outrage that tickets for a demonstration of the prowess of some of the Olympian "athletes" of the Glorious Motherland, plus Hong Kongs own finest, Lai Chok Ko and Ching Li(who lost to China in the Final of the Table Tennis doubles) are trading on the black market for up to ten times the original HK$10 sale price (that is $1.28 or 71pence for Brits).
I'm amazed anyone would have paid the original HK$10 to watch a bit of ping pong, let alone HK$100. In fact I would happily pay HK$1,000 just to guarantee I didn't have to go and see this pathetic and laughable demonstration.
SALE SHARKS 26, LEICESTER TIGERS 19
Ah well. You can't win them all. Sounds like it was a cracking game, though as I mentioned before I was unable to watch it, or any other Rugby, thanks to the miracle of ESPN/STARs programming.
Long way to go in the season obviously but an early win would have been nice.
Ah well. You can't win them all. Sounds like it was a cracking game, though as I mentioned before I was unable to watch it, or any other Rugby, thanks to the miracle of ESPN/STARs programming.
Long way to go in the season obviously but an early win would have been nice.
Friday, September 03, 2004
BETTER NEWS
It’s finally here. One of the few moments when I miss Mud Island. Yes, the English Rugby season gets under way this weekend. Hurrah. Sadly the enlightened souls at ESPN/Star have chosen to show the All-Asian under-12 hard-boiled-egg-painting competition from Godforsakendump, Laos instead of the rugby (apparently hard-boiled-egg painting will be a demonstration sport at the Olympics in Beijing in 2008 with a view to becoming a medal event in 2012) so I shall be forced to listen to the games via the miracle of the BBC website and Netvigator Wireless Broadband. Still at least we're finally under way.
Leicester take on Sale in Manchester on Sunday. Fingers crossed for a winning start to the campaign but sadly Tigers are nowhere near full strength, with an unbelievable 6 loose forwards injured (that surely has to be all of them). How 6 can be injured before a game has been played in anger is a mystery but fortunately none of them are serious long-term injuries and hopefully enough will have recovered before the kick-off for Leicester to field a proper back-row instead of a makeshift lineup.
Leicesters two arch-rivals, Northampton and Bath, face each other on Saturday afternoon. These will be two of the teams to beat this season so I’m sure Leicester’s coaches will be watching the game avidly (and probably praying for a lot of injuries to both sides). Both these teams look strong and this is likely to be one of the closest seasons for years. I can hardly wait.
Tiiiiiiiiigggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrssssssssssssssss
It’s finally here. One of the few moments when I miss Mud Island. Yes, the English Rugby season gets under way this weekend. Hurrah. Sadly the enlightened souls at ESPN/Star have chosen to show the All-Asian under-12 hard-boiled-egg-painting competition from Godforsakendump, Laos instead of the rugby (apparently hard-boiled-egg painting will be a demonstration sport at the Olympics in Beijing in 2008 with a view to becoming a medal event in 2012) so I shall be forced to listen to the games via the miracle of the BBC website and Netvigator Wireless Broadband. Still at least we're finally under way.
Leicester take on Sale in Manchester on Sunday. Fingers crossed for a winning start to the campaign but sadly Tigers are nowhere near full strength, with an unbelievable 6 loose forwards injured (that surely has to be all of them). How 6 can be injured before a game has been played in anger is a mystery but fortunately none of them are serious long-term injuries and hopefully enough will have recovered before the kick-off for Leicester to field a proper back-row instead of a makeshift lineup.
Leicesters two arch-rivals, Northampton and Bath, face each other on Saturday afternoon. These will be two of the teams to beat this season so I’m sure Leicester’s coaches will be watching the game avidly (and probably praying for a lot of injuries to both sides). Both these teams look strong and this is likely to be one of the closest seasons for years. I can hardly wait.
Tiiiiiiiiigggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrssssssssssssssss
WOODWARD QUITS ENGLAND
Damn.
Could be a very long winter, especially as I work with 2 Aussies and 1 Frenchman, and am married to a South African. I'm sure none of them will be slow to point out this winters results to me when we get stuffed by them all.
Damn.
Could be a very long winter, especially as I work with 2 Aussies and 1 Frenchman, and am married to a South African. I'm sure none of them will be slow to point out this winters results to me when we get stuffed by them all.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
KEEPING UP WITH THE CHAN’S
I have just noticed that in the little block of houses we live in there is a huge war of one-up-manship going on. The place we call home is one of ten pretty much identical houses. Three are inhabited by gweilos and the rest by Asians. Several are actually owned and inhabited by locals.
As goes on everywhere in the world, the owner/occupiers are all very keen to show the world how well they are doing. Unfortunately they are rather constrained by the identical nature of the houses. They can, however, show off in the car park.
Over the last 4 or 5 days I have been shuttling around the Peak to and from home and the hospital to visit Mrs C and no.1 Daughter in the family car – a LandRover Dullmobile (top tip – NEVER, EVER, BUY A LANDROVER. This is the worst car I have ever owned and I’ve been through a few). Obviously I have been trekking in and out of our parking area frequently. As a result I have just realised that a full scale war is going on between the occupants of houses 6 and 7 (local owner/occupiers).
In House 6’s parking area (2 spaces allotted per house – a lot of juggling goes on) is a Porsche Cayenne Turbo S, a Mercedes ML 55 AMG, a Mercedes SL 55 AMG and an Audi A4 3.0 Quattro Estate. A pretty impressive line-up. Total new price probably somewhere in the region of HKD7,500,000
House 7 however has, on the surface at least, trumped them with a Ferrari 360, a Porsche 996 Turbo Cabriolet, an Aston Martin DB7 Vantage, and as a runaround, a Mini Cooper S. Total new price somewhere in the region of HK$8,500,000
So House 7 is the winner then.
Or are they?
House 7 is actually falling off the pace. Porsche have just announced their “new” 911, the 997, to replace the old 996. Aston Martin have launched the DB9 and Ferrari have just announced their new model, the 430 to replace the 360. Only one of their cars is the latest model, whereas all House 6’s are spot on up-to-date. House 7 has some serious pending to do to update the present collection.
And there is a clincher.
House 7 are actually forced to use their cars for transport. All have been seen to move. The horror.
House 6 don’t even pretend to use theirs for transport. Every morning a latest model gold-coloured (obviously) Mercedes S 500 turns up and collects the man of the house, whisks him away to wherever he works, and then returns to ferry Mrs TaiTai to whichever shop takes her fancy today. In the evenings it then returns bearing the bread-winner back to his abode. Their “display” cars almost never move except to be juggled by the driver to get them into the parking spaces available.
A magnificently gratuitous display of wealth.
I meanwhile, have a 1995 Rover Mini as car no.2 for my commute. I’m trying to play the “so-rich-I-don’t-need-to-lower-myself-to-play-your-silly-game-of-one-up-manship” card but sadly I don’t think anyone’s fooled.
I have just noticed that in the little block of houses we live in there is a huge war of one-up-manship going on. The place we call home is one of ten pretty much identical houses. Three are inhabited by gweilos and the rest by Asians. Several are actually owned and inhabited by locals.
As goes on everywhere in the world, the owner/occupiers are all very keen to show the world how well they are doing. Unfortunately they are rather constrained by the identical nature of the houses. They can, however, show off in the car park.
Over the last 4 or 5 days I have been shuttling around the Peak to and from home and the hospital to visit Mrs C and no.1 Daughter in the family car – a LandRover Dullmobile (top tip – NEVER, EVER, BUY A LANDROVER. This is the worst car I have ever owned and I’ve been through a few). Obviously I have been trekking in and out of our parking area frequently. As a result I have just realised that a full scale war is going on between the occupants of houses 6 and 7 (local owner/occupiers).
In House 6’s parking area (2 spaces allotted per house – a lot of juggling goes on) is a Porsche Cayenne Turbo S, a Mercedes ML 55 AMG, a Mercedes SL 55 AMG and an Audi A4 3.0 Quattro Estate. A pretty impressive line-up. Total new price probably somewhere in the region of HKD7,500,000
House 7 however has, on the surface at least, trumped them with a Ferrari 360, a Porsche 996 Turbo Cabriolet, an Aston Martin DB7 Vantage, and as a runaround, a Mini Cooper S. Total new price somewhere in the region of HK$8,500,000
So House 7 is the winner then.
Or are they?
House 7 is actually falling off the pace. Porsche have just announced their “new” 911, the 997, to replace the old 996. Aston Martin have launched the DB9 and Ferrari have just announced their new model, the 430 to replace the 360. Only one of their cars is the latest model, whereas all House 6’s are spot on up-to-date. House 7 has some serious pending to do to update the present collection.
And there is a clincher.
House 7 are actually forced to use their cars for transport. All have been seen to move. The horror.
House 6 don’t even pretend to use theirs for transport. Every morning a latest model gold-coloured (obviously) Mercedes S 500 turns up and collects the man of the house, whisks him away to wherever he works, and then returns to ferry Mrs TaiTai to whichever shop takes her fancy today. In the evenings it then returns bearing the bread-winner back to his abode. Their “display” cars almost never move except to be juggled by the driver to get them into the parking spaces available.
A magnificently gratuitous display of wealth.
I meanwhile, have a 1995 Rover Mini as car no.2 for my commute. I’m trying to play the “so-rich-I-don’t-need-to-lower-myself-to-play-your-silly-game-of-one-up-manship” card but sadly I don’t think anyone’s fooled.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I leave the world to look after itself for 3 days and look what happens!
First England Rugby captain Lawrence Dallaglio unexpectedly resigns - he's not the force he was and I think he decided to get out while the going is good and before he becomes remembered solely as captain of an England team that got thumped by everyone, as I fear this autumns internationals and next years Six Nations will confirm
Then there are rumours the Sir Clive Woodward, currently coach of the England Rugby team is trying to quit but the RFU won't let him (I think he has the same thoughts as Dallaglio - he wants to be remembered as the man who coached England to the World Cup and not associated with what is about to happen).
Then England's cricket team win a one-day international (fortunately not an important game - no doubt as soon as the ICC Champions Trophy starts they will revert to their normal shocking one-day form).
Then Arnie gets up at the Republican convention and accuses the Democrats of being "economic girlie men" - what a great line!
And finally a new blog is launched - welcome Shandyman
Honestly - can't you lot be left alone for even a minute?
I leave the world to look after itself for 3 days and look what happens!
First England Rugby captain Lawrence Dallaglio unexpectedly resigns - he's not the force he was and I think he decided to get out while the going is good and before he becomes remembered solely as captain of an England team that got thumped by everyone, as I fear this autumns internationals and next years Six Nations will confirm
Then there are rumours the Sir Clive Woodward, currently coach of the England Rugby team is trying to quit but the RFU won't let him (I think he has the same thoughts as Dallaglio - he wants to be remembered as the man who coached England to the World Cup and not associated with what is about to happen).
Then England's cricket team win a one-day international (fortunately not an important game - no doubt as soon as the ICC Champions Trophy starts they will revert to their normal shocking one-day form).
Then Arnie gets up at the Republican convention and accuses the Democrats of being "economic girlie men" - what a great line!
And finally a new blog is launched - welcome Shandyman
Honestly - can't you lot be left alone for even a minute?