THE SPORTS SECTION

Rugby
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Lions Kick-off
New Zealand - catch kick-off, pass, run, pass, score try, convert.

repeat for 80 minutes or until those of us who are going down to NZ for the thrid test are sobbing into our Tsing Tao.

Wimbledon
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Serve, miss, serve, hit but miss court, repeat ad nauseam or ad infinitum, whichever comes first.