RUGBY!! 6 NATIONS FORECASTS
Tonight marks the half-way point in the 6 Nations championship, and here are a few thoughts...
Italy v Scotland - The wooden spoon decider
Scotland are number 9 in the world rankings, and have looked pretty feeble so far. Italy are number 10 in the rankings and have had good moments but again failed to really impress. Purely on recent form, and given "home advantage" Italy look the better bet, but when it comes down to it I think Scotlands experience will tell, plus the scots will probably have as many fans as the Italians, if not more, negating the home advantage.
The heart is praying for an Italian win, the head says Scotland by 5 to 10.
England v Ireland
Fortress Twickenham. 22 games unbeaten at home over 5 years. On paper England should walk it, but Ireland are unpredictable, and Robinson is facing a truly world class centre in Brian O'Driscoll for the first time. I think England will win, but not by as much as the Twickenham faithful would like or expect. England by 10 to 15.
Wales v France
The supposedly resurgent Welsh will be given a bit of a going over I think. Ireland showed that the welsh pack is not that strong, and France's pack are a step-up again. Combine that with backs who can create something from nothing in the blink of an eye and I think the welsh will be staring down the barrel of a thumping.
France by 15 to 20 if there's rain, and 20 to 25 if it's dry.
Friday, March 05, 2004
Thursday, March 04, 2004
STUPIDITY AT WORK
Simon's rant about stupidity at work made me remember this excellent email i got from a colleague which goes a long way to explaining company policies and employee attitudes...
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang
a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a
monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.
As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with
cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the
same result all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty
soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other
monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and
replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants
to climb the stairs.
To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb
the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with
a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The
previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!
Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a
fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the
stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have
no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they
are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After
replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys
have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever
again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.
Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been
done around here.
And that, my friends, is how a Company Policy begins.
Simon's rant about stupidity at work made me remember this excellent email i got from a colleague which goes a long way to explaining company policies and employee attitudes...
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang
a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a
monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.
As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with
cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the
same result all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty
soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other
monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and
replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants
to climb the stairs.
To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb
the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with
a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The
previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!
Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a
fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the
stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have
no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they
are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After
replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys
have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever
again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.
Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been
done around here.
And that, my friends, is how a Company Policy begins.
PATRIOTISM
This seems to be the flavour of the month for discussion so my contributions are...
1. Why should "patriotism" = "love for the communist party". Most people are patriotic about thier countries but not all love the local communist party - America and Americans are the obvious example. Most love their country to an almost scary degree but mention of communist parties prompts frothing at the mouth.
2. Why should anyone listen to ramblings from 20 years ago of a stupid old goat who successfully repressed and held back his "beloved" people and country for generations. Deng XiaoPing's views on pretty much anything aren't worth the paper they're printed on.
3. Why should a "patriot" lead Hong Kong. If the people vote for someone who hates the place then that is their decision and should be respected.
4. Patriotism and love for the country aren't always the same thing. I'm patriotic about any English sports team, but you won't catch me ever living back in Mud Island - it's totally gone to the dogs and the weather is terrible.
5. don't the communists realise that all their laughable rhetoric is merely making the situation worse? If they shut up for a while then everyone in HK would forget about it and go back to their first love, making money.
And that concludes this slight oversimplification of the issue
This seems to be the flavour of the month for discussion so my contributions are...
1. Why should "patriotism" = "love for the communist party". Most people are patriotic about thier countries but not all love the local communist party - America and Americans are the obvious example. Most love their country to an almost scary degree but mention of communist parties prompts frothing at the mouth.
2. Why should anyone listen to ramblings from 20 years ago of a stupid old goat who successfully repressed and held back his "beloved" people and country for generations. Deng XiaoPing's views on pretty much anything aren't worth the paper they're printed on.
3. Why should a "patriot" lead Hong Kong. If the people vote for someone who hates the place then that is their decision and should be respected.
4. Patriotism and love for the country aren't always the same thing. I'm patriotic about any English sports team, but you won't catch me ever living back in Mud Island - it's totally gone to the dogs and the weather is terrible.
5. don't the communists realise that all their laughable rhetoric is merely making the situation worse? If they shut up for a while then everyone in HK would forget about it and go back to their first love, making money.
And that concludes this slight oversimplification of the issue
AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE - OI OI OI
Just spotted this story.
SYDNEY, March 4 (AFP) - A patrotic Melbourne couple have bought
the trademark rights to the sporting chant "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie,
Oi, Oi, Oi" to protect it from overseas exploitation, they said
Thursday.
Greg Davies, a plumber, and his wife Diane said they spent about
5,000 dollars (3,740 US dollars) to keep the slogan safe in Aussie
hands.
"Every time you hear it, I reckon it sounds great," said Greg.
"But protecting it, that's the biggest thing.
"It's an Australian slogan and we just want to keep it for the
Australian public, that's it."
The chant can be heard at pretty much any sporting fixture where
Australia is competing, where it is repeated endlessly over and over
again, without variation.
Some members of the Australian swim team labelled the chant
embarrassing a few years ago and urged fans to come up with
something more creative.
The Davies' have the slogan printed on their work van and have
had hundreds of stickers made. They say they are not aiming to make
money from the trademark.
On the face of it it seems a good idea, but unfortunately for the stupid aussies who just spent A$5,000 on the chant, it's actually originally a chant coined by a man some might describe as the funniest welsh comedian ever (though I would say he is the only welsh comedian ever), Max Boyce. He used to start his shows by coming on stage and shouting Oggie, Oggie, Oggie, and the crowd would reply Oi, Oi, Oi - etc - if you've heard either him or the aussies do it then you'll know the rest.
Anyway suffice to say that the aussies greatest sporting chant is actually welsh. Given the feeble efforts of their rugby team who have successfully lost every major rugby trophy over the last 4 years the welsh link seems very appropriate.
Just spotted this story.
SYDNEY, March 4 (AFP) - A patrotic Melbourne couple have bought
the trademark rights to the sporting chant "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie,
Oi, Oi, Oi" to protect it from overseas exploitation, they said
Thursday.
Greg Davies, a plumber, and his wife Diane said they spent about
5,000 dollars (3,740 US dollars) to keep the slogan safe in Aussie
hands.
"Every time you hear it, I reckon it sounds great," said Greg.
"But protecting it, that's the biggest thing.
"It's an Australian slogan and we just want to keep it for the
Australian public, that's it."
The chant can be heard at pretty much any sporting fixture where
Australia is competing, where it is repeated endlessly over and over
again, without variation.
Some members of the Australian swim team labelled the chant
embarrassing a few years ago and urged fans to come up with
something more creative.
The Davies' have the slogan printed on their work van and have
had hundreds of stickers made. They say they are not aiming to make
money from the trademark.
On the face of it it seems a good idea, but unfortunately for the stupid aussies who just spent A$5,000 on the chant, it's actually originally a chant coined by a man some might describe as the funniest welsh comedian ever (though I would say he is the only welsh comedian ever), Max Boyce. He used to start his shows by coming on stage and shouting Oggie, Oggie, Oggie, and the crowd would reply Oi, Oi, Oi - etc - if you've heard either him or the aussies do it then you'll know the rest.
Anyway suffice to say that the aussies greatest sporting chant is actually welsh. Given the feeble efforts of their rugby team who have successfully lost every major rugby trophy over the last 4 years the welsh link seems very appropriate.
GOLF. I JUST DON'T GET IT.
Have just remembered something I meant to mention yesterday but forgot.
Yesterday morning while coming into town I saw a man practicing putting (as in on a golf green, not as in large steroid-laden East German women hurling lead cannonballs 100 metres or so) on his rooftop. He had laid out a piece of green cloth / carpet / astroturf and was there with about 15 balls aiming at a plant pot turned on it's side. It was 7.30am. At that time of day if you don't have to be up, then why would you be? And if you're going to get up, why practice golf?
This is a sport in which "athletes" such as Colin "fat bastard" Montgomerie, John "fat, drunk bastard" Daly, and even Craig "fat, drunk, sweaty bastard" Stadler can win tournaments.
I just don't understand the obsession. It's hideously expensive. Every club is ruled by ex-colonels/generals/rear-admirals who run the places like their own sad little empires, and enforce lots of pathetic little rules. Every course seems to be booked solid all year round so to play you have to get up at about 5am on a weekend and trek to China to play. It involves almost no physical exercise (remember someone else carries their sticks), and nothing moves at a speed above a gentle stroll. Yes it is difficult to aim the ball accurately, but it's also difficult to thread a needle, and no-one calls that a sport (though no doubt ESPN will now show the all-malaysian under-15 needle threading championships instead of say the 6 Nations rugby).
One day everyone will wake up and realise they have wasted a huge amount of time and money on a "sport" that is boring as bollocks and which they're crap at, and when they do finally realise the error of their ways and head to the bar, they will discover that observant people such as myself who realised long ago what a waste of time it all is have not only saved lots of time and money, but have also nicked all the best seats in the bar!
Have just remembered something I meant to mention yesterday but forgot.
Yesterday morning while coming into town I saw a man practicing putting (as in on a golf green, not as in large steroid-laden East German women hurling lead cannonballs 100 metres or so) on his rooftop. He had laid out a piece of green cloth / carpet / astroturf and was there with about 15 balls aiming at a plant pot turned on it's side. It was 7.30am. At that time of day if you don't have to be up, then why would you be? And if you're going to get up, why practice golf?
This is a sport in which "athletes" such as Colin "fat bastard" Montgomerie, John "fat, drunk bastard" Daly, and even Craig "fat, drunk, sweaty bastard" Stadler can win tournaments.
I just don't understand the obsession. It's hideously expensive. Every club is ruled by ex-colonels/generals/rear-admirals who run the places like their own sad little empires, and enforce lots of pathetic little rules. Every course seems to be booked solid all year round so to play you have to get up at about 5am on a weekend and trek to China to play. It involves almost no physical exercise (remember someone else carries their sticks), and nothing moves at a speed above a gentle stroll. Yes it is difficult to aim the ball accurately, but it's also difficult to thread a needle, and no-one calls that a sport (though no doubt ESPN will now show the all-malaysian under-15 needle threading championships instead of say the 6 Nations rugby).
One day everyone will wake up and realise they have wasted a huge amount of time and money on a "sport" that is boring as bollocks and which they're crap at, and when they do finally realise the error of their ways and head to the bar, they will discover that observant people such as myself who realised long ago what a waste of time it all is have not only saved lots of time and money, but have also nicked all the best seats in the bar!
MIX and CityNotSoSuper
Just been to get a sarnie at Mix. what the hell is it with their ordering system? you order your sarnie at 1 counter, your drink at another, and pay at a third, which is inbetween the first 2. There are lost people milling about all over the place, sandwiches and drinks landing up with the wrong people. It's chaos. The only place worse is the deli counter at CitySuper in IFC. That has taken stupidity to a whole new level.
There you queue (or "line up" if you're american) at the food counter and give your order to the bloke behind it. He carefully writes it down on a bit of paper which he gives you. you then queue at another counter to pay. Once you have pais a seperate person staples the receipt to your original piece of paper. you then go back to your first queue, with all the people who have yet to even decide what they want. then you get to the front and give your piece of paper and stapled receipt to the server, who finally actually makes your lunch. What an effing stupid system. It takes hours just to get a bottle of water. I now don't bother to go there at all even though they do great japanese lunchbox type things because i'm not sure that I will be able to prevent myself from impaling either the writer, server, till-operator or receipt-stapler on a pair of sharpened chopsticks.
Just been to get a sarnie at Mix. what the hell is it with their ordering system? you order your sarnie at 1 counter, your drink at another, and pay at a third, which is inbetween the first 2. There are lost people milling about all over the place, sandwiches and drinks landing up with the wrong people. It's chaos. The only place worse is the deli counter at CitySuper in IFC. That has taken stupidity to a whole new level.
There you queue (or "line up" if you're american) at the food counter and give your order to the bloke behind it. He carefully writes it down on a bit of paper which he gives you. you then queue at another counter to pay. Once you have pais a seperate person staples the receipt to your original piece of paper. you then go back to your first queue, with all the people who have yet to even decide what they want. then you get to the front and give your piece of paper and stapled receipt to the server, who finally actually makes your lunch. What an effing stupid system. It takes hours just to get a bottle of water. I now don't bother to go there at all even though they do great japanese lunchbox type things because i'm not sure that I will be able to prevent myself from impaling either the writer, server, till-operator or receipt-stapler on a pair of sharpened chopsticks.
RANT
I regularly commute into town on the Peak Tram. It's a marvellous way to get into town. As a general rule it's almost empty and you get a great view on the way down the hill. As an added bonus you don't have to worry about Hong Kong's appalling drivers doing something completely random and hitting you. For those who have never used this form of transport there is a "driver" whose job basically is to open and shut the doors at either end. He/She unsurprisingly stands at the front of the tram facing the direction of travel, so has to change ends depending on whether it's going up or down.
So there I am on the Peak Tram this morning. It's 7.30am. It's quiet and peaceful. This morning it's unusually full - there are 5 of us on board (a mix of locals and expats) spread over the 2 carriages. Everyone is sitting quietly minding their own business, as should happen at 7.30am.
Then, after we've been moving for about 30 seconds, the cantonese guy halway up the second carriage turns to the driver, a full carriage-and-a-half away, and shouts something in cantonese (is there any other volume in Cantonese than shout?). we are all rudely roused from our gentle slumbers. She replies, at full volume obviously. He replies. A full blown (and full volume) conversation gets under way all the way down the hill.
The rest of us all look at each other in disbelief.
Obviously we can't beat the driver to a pulp because none of us know how to operate the brake.
And we can't beat the other guy up as it would mean walking up the length of the tram, which is on a steep downslope remember, and it's early so none of us can be bothered.
So what do we do? As we get out we all give her and him evil looks and, in true english fashion, mutter a quiet "tut" under our breaths.
That'll show them!
Sadly as we have probably all discovered this is water off a ducks back to the inhabitants of this city, so please be prepared to hear of gweilos running amok on the Tram with sharpened umbrellas early in the morning. No-one disturbs my early mornings twice.
I regularly commute into town on the Peak Tram. It's a marvellous way to get into town. As a general rule it's almost empty and you get a great view on the way down the hill. As an added bonus you don't have to worry about Hong Kong's appalling drivers doing something completely random and hitting you. For those who have never used this form of transport there is a "driver" whose job basically is to open and shut the doors at either end. He/She unsurprisingly stands at the front of the tram facing the direction of travel, so has to change ends depending on whether it's going up or down.
So there I am on the Peak Tram this morning. It's 7.30am. It's quiet and peaceful. This morning it's unusually full - there are 5 of us on board (a mix of locals and expats) spread over the 2 carriages. Everyone is sitting quietly minding their own business, as should happen at 7.30am.
Then, after we've been moving for about 30 seconds, the cantonese guy halway up the second carriage turns to the driver, a full carriage-and-a-half away, and shouts something in cantonese (is there any other volume in Cantonese than shout?). we are all rudely roused from our gentle slumbers. She replies, at full volume obviously. He replies. A full blown (and full volume) conversation gets under way all the way down the hill.
The rest of us all look at each other in disbelief.
Obviously we can't beat the driver to a pulp because none of us know how to operate the brake.
And we can't beat the other guy up as it would mean walking up the length of the tram, which is on a steep downslope remember, and it's early so none of us can be bothered.
So what do we do? As we get out we all give her and him evil looks and, in true english fashion, mutter a quiet "tut" under our breaths.
That'll show them!
Sadly as we have probably all discovered this is water off a ducks back to the inhabitants of this city, so please be prepared to hear of gweilos running amok on the Tram with sharpened umbrellas early in the morning. No-one disturbs my early mornings twice.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
HONG KONG SEVENS
Awesome news - Scotland are in the same pool as England in the 7s. Let the slaughter begin
Awesome news - Scotland are in the same pool as England in the 7s. Let the slaughter begin
SUPER TUESDAY
thanks to the miracle of time zones and international date lines, today (Weds) in Hong Kong is Super Tuesday in the States. This is the day when 10 states have their democratic party primaries to choose who they would like to lead the democratic party in the Novembers presidential election.
If you're an American, it's Super Tuesday because there are 10 results to analyse and bore everyone else about, more than on any other day.
If you're not, then it's Super Tuesday because by the end of it it is pretty much cut and dried who is going to win the democratic party nomination and you hope you won't have to hear any more tedious american (or indeed any other country) political analysis until the election finally rolls around in November.
In case anyone cares by the way, Senator John Kerry appears to have things pretty much wrapped up for the democrats.
thanks to the miracle of time zones and international date lines, today (Weds) in Hong Kong is Super Tuesday in the States. This is the day when 10 states have their democratic party primaries to choose who they would like to lead the democratic party in the Novembers presidential election.
If you're an American, it's Super Tuesday because there are 10 results to analyse and bore everyone else about, more than on any other day.
If you're not, then it's Super Tuesday because by the end of it it is pretty much cut and dried who is going to win the democratic party nomination and you hope you won't have to hear any more tedious american (or indeed any other country) political analysis until the election finally rolls around in November.
In case anyone cares by the way, Senator John Kerry appears to have things pretty much wrapped up for the democrats.
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
CRIME IN HONG KONG
When we moved 6 months ago to a place on The Peak we were warned by lots of concerned locals that The Peak is a hotbed of crime, with hordes of marauding mainlanders fleecing people left, right and centre. So far in 6 months we have heard of 1 break-in in which a camera was stolen. Hardly a crimewave. And now I have more proof of how generally law-abiding Hong Kong is.
Our car is not parked in a big, secure underground carpark, but under a "carport" - effectively just under a roof with all 4 sides open. I recently returned from a 10 day business trip to find that I had left the roof down on my car (admittedly not the most valuable car in HK), and also had somehow managed to leave the keys in the ignition (pretty stupid even by my standards). It was still there however. Do that in London and it'll be gone in minutes, even if it's a Skoda.
and now I see this sort-of-heart-warming tale. It turns there is crime in HK, but the thieves are so polite they take care to make sure their victims are found and looked after.
What a civilised place.
When we moved 6 months ago to a place on The Peak we were warned by lots of concerned locals that The Peak is a hotbed of crime, with hordes of marauding mainlanders fleecing people left, right and centre. So far in 6 months we have heard of 1 break-in in which a camera was stolen. Hardly a crimewave. And now I have more proof of how generally law-abiding Hong Kong is.
Our car is not parked in a big, secure underground carpark, but under a "carport" - effectively just under a roof with all 4 sides open. I recently returned from a 10 day business trip to find that I had left the roof down on my car (admittedly not the most valuable car in HK), and also had somehow managed to leave the keys in the ignition (pretty stupid even by my standards). It was still there however. Do that in London and it'll be gone in minutes, even if it's a Skoda.
and now I see this sort-of-heart-warming tale. It turns there is crime in HK, but the thieves are so polite they take care to make sure their victims are found and looked after.
What a civilised place.
THE MOTORING SECTION An occasional series of rants about appalling Hong Kong driving and drivers
To the driver of taxi reg'n LH 4454, 20kmh in the fog is just about understandable, but 20kmh all the way down the hill once you're out of the fog is not! You're a professional driver for christ's sake. Surely the faster you get down into town, the faster you'll get another fare. Think about it!!!
To the driver of taxi reg'n LH 4454, 20kmh in the fog is just about understandable, but 20kmh all the way down the hill once you're out of the fog is not! You're a professional driver for christ's sake. Surely the faster you get down into town, the faster you'll get another fare. Think about it!!!
Monday, March 01, 2004
AUSTRALIA
And so to my trip round Australia...
There I am, in a country with what I believe is the longest coastline in the world, where 95% of the population live within spitting distance of the sea, and with one of the lowest population desities in the world. They are surrounded by warm waters and the largest tropical reefs in the world, mild waters and migratory fish, and cold waters with huge fish stocks, SO WHY DO THEY ONLY EAT STEAK?!?!
We asked customers to book restaurants for our visits as obviously I am not up to speed on the best places in each city. The
customers chose....
Meal 1 - Sydney - a steak house
Meal 2 - Sydney - overlooking the harbour but no fish - lot of steak / lamb / kangaroo
Meal 3 - Sydney - a typical brasserie type place - steak / lamb / chicken / ostrich - token bit of fish but it was imported farmed salmon
Meal 4 - Melbourne - a steak house
Meal 5 - Melbourne - we put our collective feet down and demanded something different - so we got an italian that is known for it's steak and lamb
Meal 6 - Hobart - steak / lamb.... again....
Finally, on the last night, back in Sydney, when I was able to go out with just my 2 travelling companions for a meal we found a fish place - Doyles at the Overseas Terminal on Circular Quay. Excellent it was too, with a view of the Opera House on 1 side and the bridge on the other.
This pretty much exclusively meat diet seems to take it's toll on aussies. It was noticeable that aussies "of a certain age" go pretty swiftly from bronzed beach adonises to large (nice word for fat), sweaty, red-faced (and definitely red-nosed) slobs. The exceptions were few and far between! I am aware that the Brits are hardly top of the league in the beauty stakes, but it is quite funny to see that a country that markets itself as the fountain of youth and beauty is full of fat blokes eating meat pies.
Anyway. On to the cities themselves...
Sydney.
Ahhh Sydney. Lifestyle capital of the world. Long hot summer days spent on the beach, cooling down with a cold beer or a dip in the pristine waters... except when we were there it was 20 deg and pissing with rain, and the rain was washing pollution and general crap into the sea so that the beaches were shut and water was brown. Hmmmmm. Not a good start!
Melbourne.
Sunshine, for several continuous hours!! as any regular visitor to Melbourne will know this is quite a shock! The old joke goes that if you don't like the weather in Melbourne, just wait 5 minutes, but our 24 hours there were perfect. 27 deg, sunshine, low hum idity... marvellous. If only it was always like that, and there was a decent beach within a 100 mile radius...
And so to... Hobart.
there was all the usual jokes about people there being in-bred, having 6 fingers and/or 2 heads, and below is a joke that sums up most peoples iews of Tasmania and Tasmaninas (told to us by a Tasmanian before anyone gets offended.)
A guy goes home to his parents in Sydney / Melbourne / Canberra (pick any non-Tasmanian location) and says,
"I've met the girl i'm going to marry. She's from Tasmania, she's smart, she's beautiful, she's got a great job, and she's so pure she's still a virgin"
his dad turns to him and says,
"son - i'm sorry but i can't allow you to marry her. she sounded great right up to the bit about her still being a virgin. if she's not good enough for her own family then she's certainly not good enough for ours"
boom boom....
In fact Hobart was magnificent. Everyone was friendly. The town feels like a large english market town in terms of pace (i.e. not much), but it is scattered around the edge of a natural harbour created by the mouth of the Derwent river. Everyone has a harbour-view, and most have water-front properties. The land rolls gently between impressive mountains, and in large areas is thickly forested. Hiking, fishing, hunting and messing about on the water are the main sports and weekend activities. In short, it's great. Tasmanians seem pretty content with their lot, and having been there I can see why.
Overall - I still think Australia is a great place. I love Melbourne and Hobart, and on previous visits have loved adelaide and Perth, but Sydney is slowly losing it's magic in my eyes. My last 3 trips there have coincided with bushfires on the first 2 visits (so the air is brown and stinks), and rain on my last visit (so the water is brown and stinks).
There is however still a chance for Sydney to redeem itself. I am going backin May to catch up with some customers I didn't see this time. Fingers crossed.
And so to my trip round Australia...
There I am, in a country with what I believe is the longest coastline in the world, where 95% of the population live within spitting distance of the sea, and with one of the lowest population desities in the world. They are surrounded by warm waters and the largest tropical reefs in the world, mild waters and migratory fish, and cold waters with huge fish stocks, SO WHY DO THEY ONLY EAT STEAK?!?!
We asked customers to book restaurants for our visits as obviously I am not up to speed on the best places in each city. The
customers chose....
Meal 1 - Sydney - a steak house
Meal 2 - Sydney - overlooking the harbour but no fish - lot of steak / lamb / kangaroo
Meal 3 - Sydney - a typical brasserie type place - steak / lamb / chicken / ostrich - token bit of fish but it was imported farmed salmon
Meal 4 - Melbourne - a steak house
Meal 5 - Melbourne - we put our collective feet down and demanded something different - so we got an italian that is known for it's steak and lamb
Meal 6 - Hobart - steak / lamb.... again....
Finally, on the last night, back in Sydney, when I was able to go out with just my 2 travelling companions for a meal we found a fish place - Doyles at the Overseas Terminal on Circular Quay. Excellent it was too, with a view of the Opera House on 1 side and the bridge on the other.
This pretty much exclusively meat diet seems to take it's toll on aussies. It was noticeable that aussies "of a certain age" go pretty swiftly from bronzed beach adonises to large (nice word for fat), sweaty, red-faced (and definitely red-nosed) slobs. The exceptions were few and far between! I am aware that the Brits are hardly top of the league in the beauty stakes, but it is quite funny to see that a country that markets itself as the fountain of youth and beauty is full of fat blokes eating meat pies.
Anyway. On to the cities themselves...
Sydney.
Ahhh Sydney. Lifestyle capital of the world. Long hot summer days spent on the beach, cooling down with a cold beer or a dip in the pristine waters... except when we were there it was 20 deg and pissing with rain, and the rain was washing pollution and general crap into the sea so that the beaches were shut and water was brown. Hmmmmm. Not a good start!
Melbourne.
Sunshine, for several continuous hours!! as any regular visitor to Melbourne will know this is quite a shock! The old joke goes that if you don't like the weather in Melbourne, just wait 5 minutes, but our 24 hours there were perfect. 27 deg, sunshine, low hum idity... marvellous. If only it was always like that, and there was a decent beach within a 100 mile radius...
And so to... Hobart.
there was all the usual jokes about people there being in-bred, having 6 fingers and/or 2 heads, and below is a joke that sums up most peoples iews of Tasmania and Tasmaninas (told to us by a Tasmanian before anyone gets offended.)
A guy goes home to his parents in Sydney / Melbourne / Canberra (pick any non-Tasmanian location) and says,
"I've met the girl i'm going to marry. She's from Tasmania, she's smart, she's beautiful, she's got a great job, and she's so pure she's still a virgin"
his dad turns to him and says,
"son - i'm sorry but i can't allow you to marry her. she sounded great right up to the bit about her still being a virgin. if she's not good enough for her own family then she's certainly not good enough for ours"
boom boom....
In fact Hobart was magnificent. Everyone was friendly. The town feels like a large english market town in terms of pace (i.e. not much), but it is scattered around the edge of a natural harbour created by the mouth of the Derwent river. Everyone has a harbour-view, and most have water-front properties. The land rolls gently between impressive mountains, and in large areas is thickly forested. Hiking, fishing, hunting and messing about on the water are the main sports and weekend activities. In short, it's great. Tasmanians seem pretty content with their lot, and having been there I can see why.
Overall - I still think Australia is a great place. I love Melbourne and Hobart, and on previous visits have loved adelaide and Perth, but Sydney is slowly losing it's magic in my eyes. My last 3 trips there have coincided with bushfires on the first 2 visits (so the air is brown and stinks), and rain on my last visit (so the water is brown and stinks).
There is however still a chance for Sydney to redeem itself. I am going backin May to catch up with some customers I didn't see this time. Fingers crossed.
THE OSCARS
I am told Lord of the Rings duly won best film by someone who cares about these things. This is the very least it should have won - those 3 movies should win best film for the next decade. HOWEVER, I would like 1 small rant about L.o.t.R., or more specfically, Liv Tyler. What is it about Liv Tyler that gets people so excited?
She has, unfortunately for her, inherited mainly her fathers looks. This would be fine if she was a heavy metal singer, but she isn't. She also can't act to save her life. Even though most of the time she is in shot she is soft focus (apparently to convey some form of mystical immortality) she still manages to look like a horse chewing a stinging nettle.
If you haven't seen the movie and don't want an idea of what happens at the end, stop reading now!
The least believable part of the entire rings trilogy, and remember this is a movie featuring wizards, magical rings, awks, hobbits, ents, giants etc etc..., is at the end when Aragorn picks Liv over the cute blonde who is a dab hand hand with a sword. There he is, being crowned king, having vanquished the forces or Mordor, single-handedly killed zillions of Awks and giants and generally been a pretty much all-round super hero, and up rolls Liv looking doped out, again, and he drops little blondey faster than Wendell Sailor trying to catch a rugby ball.
I just don't get it.
I am told Lord of the Rings duly won best film by someone who cares about these things. This is the very least it should have won - those 3 movies should win best film for the next decade. HOWEVER, I would like 1 small rant about L.o.t.R., or more specfically, Liv Tyler. What is it about Liv Tyler that gets people so excited?
She has, unfortunately for her, inherited mainly her fathers looks. This would be fine if she was a heavy metal singer, but she isn't. She also can't act to save her life. Even though most of the time she is in shot she is soft focus (apparently to convey some form of mystical immortality) she still manages to look like a horse chewing a stinging nettle.
If you haven't seen the movie and don't want an idea of what happens at the end, stop reading now!
The least believable part of the entire rings trilogy, and remember this is a movie featuring wizards, magical rings, awks, hobbits, ents, giants etc etc..., is at the end when Aragorn picks Liv over the cute blonde who is a dab hand hand with a sword. There he is, being crowned king, having vanquished the forces or Mordor, single-handedly killed zillions of Awks and giants and generally been a pretty much all-round super hero, and up rolls Liv looking doped out, again, and he drops little blondey faster than Wendell Sailor trying to catch a rugby ball.
I just don't get it.
NEW ZEALAND - WHY?
On this trip I spent 4 very pleasant days in New Zealand. On my last one I spent 5 similar days. In general I like New Zealand. The people are friendly (unless you ask them who won the rugby World Cup in an english accent, then they suddenly become all excitable), the beer is cold, the pace of life is gentle, the seafood is excellent.
BUT (and it's a big but), what is it about the weather? Last time I was there was Novemeber 02, so late spring. This time was mid-Feb, so in theory the height of summer. Both times it has been on the cold side if fresh, raining and windy. And yet both times, in both Auckland and Weelington, the locals have assured me that "it's not usually like this" and "it's unseasonally cold / wet / windy".
Auckland markets itself as "The City of Sails" - for sails to work you need wind! and Wellington is referred to, even by Wellingtonians (if that's correct), as "The Windy City". Yet in both places people are surprised when it's blowing a gale. And the rain? New Zealand is famously green, like Ireland and Britain. The common them between all 3 places, which the locals don't seem to get, is that for plants to be green they need water, and they get that water from rain. So why be surprised when it rains?
The Kiwis are like the Brits I'm afraid. They have deluded themself into believing they live in a semi-tropical paradise and any other weather pattern is a temporary aberration.
And given it's weather is so like the UK, why do so many Brits choose to emigrate there? It's miles from anywhere and has exactly the same weather. The cities are not as big and not as interesting (is there anywhere else to drink and eat in Auckland apart from the viaduct?) and you can't pop to the South of France for some sun when the remorseless rain and wind start to get you down.
And a final thought on NZ - someone should tell the Kiwis that dreadlocks only look cool if you're a 6 foot 3 Maori playing for the All Blacks with a name like Tana Umaga (and even then it's a close thing). They do NOT look cool if you are on average (from all the creadlocked people I saw) a 5 foot 8, white, chubby (or in a lot of cases, fat) bloke who has clearly done no exercise for several years.
Having said all of that.....
I'm going back next year for the Lions tour.... got the "client meetings" lined up already!
On this trip I spent 4 very pleasant days in New Zealand. On my last one I spent 5 similar days. In general I like New Zealand. The people are friendly (unless you ask them who won the rugby World Cup in an english accent, then they suddenly become all excitable), the beer is cold, the pace of life is gentle, the seafood is excellent.
BUT (and it's a big but), what is it about the weather? Last time I was there was Novemeber 02, so late spring. This time was mid-Feb, so in theory the height of summer. Both times it has been on the cold side if fresh, raining and windy. And yet both times, in both Auckland and Weelington, the locals have assured me that "it's not usually like this" and "it's unseasonally cold / wet / windy".
Auckland markets itself as "The City of Sails" - for sails to work you need wind! and Wellington is referred to, even by Wellingtonians (if that's correct), as "The Windy City". Yet in both places people are surprised when it's blowing a gale. And the rain? New Zealand is famously green, like Ireland and Britain. The common them between all 3 places, which the locals don't seem to get, is that for plants to be green they need water, and they get that water from rain. So why be surprised when it rains?
The Kiwis are like the Brits I'm afraid. They have deluded themself into believing they live in a semi-tropical paradise and any other weather pattern is a temporary aberration.
And given it's weather is so like the UK, why do so many Brits choose to emigrate there? It's miles from anywhere and has exactly the same weather. The cities are not as big and not as interesting (is there anywhere else to drink and eat in Auckland apart from the viaduct?) and you can't pop to the South of France for some sun when the remorseless rain and wind start to get you down.
And a final thought on NZ - someone should tell the Kiwis that dreadlocks only look cool if you're a 6 foot 3 Maori playing for the All Blacks with a name like Tana Umaga (and even then it's a close thing). They do NOT look cool if you are on average (from all the creadlocked people I saw) a 5 foot 8, white, chubby (or in a lot of cases, fat) bloke who has clearly done no exercise for several years.
Having said all of that.....
I'm going back next year for the Lions tour.... got the "client meetings" lined up already!
THE CHARIOTEER RETURNS... (if anyone cares)
Finally I'm back from my tour of New Zealand and Australia. I visited Auckland, Wellington, Auckland again (for the weekend), Sydney, Melbourne, Hobart (!) and back to Sydney. I am ploughing through a few hundred emails and will post a few thoughts on both places a bit later....
Finally I'm back from my tour of New Zealand and Australia. I visited Auckland, Wellington, Auckland again (for the weekend), Sydney, Melbourne, Hobart (!) and back to Sydney. I am ploughing through a few hundred emails and will post a few thoughts on both places a bit later....
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
AIRPORT RANT
Health form. Why? Complete waste of time. Has anyone ever filled in one of those forms correctly or completely?
Temperature Check. Why? Does anyone thing that is anything other than a totally cosmetic exercise? Is it really going to stop bird flu or SARS? If you've got either you're not going to be flying in the first place, and if you have boring old ordinary flu or a cold you just take an aspirin to drop your temperature and Bob's your uncle. Scientists can't even agree on what "normal" body temperature is anyway. It depends on your age, gender, how hot you are after beating one of the health form collectors to a pulp just for being health form collectors, and a whole variety of other factors.
But the MOST ANNOYING aspect of Hong Kong airport by a long long way is.... PEOPLE WHO STOP DEAD (OR WALK UNBVELIEVABLY SLOWLY) ON ONE OF THE MOVING WALKWAYS!!! Why? What's the point? You're not even going up or downhill for Pete's sake. OK, if you're 85 I can see that it might be nice to stand still and let a machine take the strain, but for an average person is it really that much effort to keep walking? And if you are so bloody lazy that you are going to stand still, why stand in the middle? Move over to the side so people who are actually prepared to put 1 foot in front of the other can get past.
And what's point of the warning voice at the end? Are there really people out there who are so stupid they can't work out that when you hit immobile floor at the end of a moving walkway you have to start walking again all on your own? If there are then these are the people we should be testing SARS and Bird Flu vaccines on (preferably the early and highly useless versions of the vaccines). The human race could do without them.
Now it's off to the bar for a pre-flight G&T to calm me down. 1st meeting in Auckland is 3 hours after we land tomorrow morning so going to adopt my usual tactic of a skinful and a couple of sleeping pills to get me through the night.
1 last thing before I go. "Good morning and welcome to New Zealand. Please wind your watches back 10 years." An old joke but based on my only previous visit very true. If you ever wondered where all the world's hippies disappeared to, try looking in Auckland. It's like a time warp.
Health form. Why? Complete waste of time. Has anyone ever filled in one of those forms correctly or completely?
Temperature Check. Why? Does anyone thing that is anything other than a totally cosmetic exercise? Is it really going to stop bird flu or SARS? If you've got either you're not going to be flying in the first place, and if you have boring old ordinary flu or a cold you just take an aspirin to drop your temperature and Bob's your uncle. Scientists can't even agree on what "normal" body temperature is anyway. It depends on your age, gender, how hot you are after beating one of the health form collectors to a pulp just for being health form collectors, and a whole variety of other factors.
But the MOST ANNOYING aspect of Hong Kong airport by a long long way is.... PEOPLE WHO STOP DEAD (OR WALK UNBVELIEVABLY SLOWLY) ON ONE OF THE MOVING WALKWAYS!!! Why? What's the point? You're not even going up or downhill for Pete's sake. OK, if you're 85 I can see that it might be nice to stand still and let a machine take the strain, but for an average person is it really that much effort to keep walking? And if you are so bloody lazy that you are going to stand still, why stand in the middle? Move over to the side so people who are actually prepared to put 1 foot in front of the other can get past.
And what's point of the warning voice at the end? Are there really people out there who are so stupid they can't work out that when you hit immobile floor at the end of a moving walkway you have to start walking again all on your own? If there are then these are the people we should be testing SARS and Bird Flu vaccines on (preferably the early and highly useless versions of the vaccines). The human race could do without them.
Now it's off to the bar for a pre-flight G&T to calm me down. 1st meeting in Auckland is 3 hours after we land tomorrow morning so going to adopt my usual tactic of a skinful and a couple of sleeping pills to get me through the night.
1 last thing before I go. "Good morning and welcome to New Zealand. Please wind your watches back 10 years." An old joke but based on my only previous visit very true. If you ever wondered where all the world's hippies disappeared to, try looking in Auckland. It's like a time warp.
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Italian police seek huge breasted woman
Italian police are looking for a woman with huge breasts who has gone on the run after failing to pay for £5,000 implants.
The 46-year-old woman, who has been identified only by her initials AM, slipped out of her hospital bed following the surgery and disappeared.
Doctors at the clinic in Rome say that apart from the unpaid bill they are also concerned for her health as she requires close monitoring following the surgery.
Dr Jamal Salhi said: "She told me that she needed the surgery because she worked in a hostess bar and that clients preferred big chested women.
"She went from a size four to a size eight which is the largest you can get in Italy. When she came to my surgery she said: "I want the biggest chest possible."
"'It has since emerged that she gave false information when she arrived at the clinic and apart from running off without paying, as with any surgery she needs to be monitored afterwards."
Dr Salhi then revealed it was not the first time he had been the victim of a fraudster. He said: "This has happened to me several times before, the most recent was last December.
"A man had a penis enlargement and disappeared without paying. We still have to be paid for that operation."
Police spokesman Adriano Lauro said: "We have issued a warrant for the woman's arrest and also one for her husband following the complaint from the clinic."
Somehow I think the Italian police won't be alone in the hunt.
Italian police are looking for a woman with huge breasts who has gone on the run after failing to pay for £5,000 implants.
The 46-year-old woman, who has been identified only by her initials AM, slipped out of her hospital bed following the surgery and disappeared.
Doctors at the clinic in Rome say that apart from the unpaid bill they are also concerned for her health as she requires close monitoring following the surgery.
Dr Jamal Salhi said: "She told me that she needed the surgery because she worked in a hostess bar and that clients preferred big chested women.
"She went from a size four to a size eight which is the largest you can get in Italy. When she came to my surgery she said: "I want the biggest chest possible."
"'It has since emerged that she gave false information when she arrived at the clinic and apart from running off without paying, as with any surgery she needs to be monitored afterwards."
Dr Salhi then revealed it was not the first time he had been the victim of a fraudster. He said: "This has happened to me several times before, the most recent was last December.
"A man had a penis enlargement and disappeared without paying. We still have to be paid for that operation."
Police spokesman Adriano Lauro said: "We have issued a warrant for the woman's arrest and also one for her husband following the complaint from the clinic."
Somehow I think the Italian police won't be alone in the hunt.
THE MOTORING SECTION An occasional series of rants about appalling Hong Kong driving and drivers
The Porsche Cayenne Turbo.
Porsche's latest offering is a 4-wheel-drive off-roader called the Porsche Cayenne. There are 2 models - the Cayenne S and the Cayenne Turbo. Obviously being Hong Kong most people will buy the Cayenne Turbo as it is the most expensive model and therefore the one to have, irrespective of whether you actually need it.
The Porsche website reveals this is a truly impressive machine (if ugly as sin). It has a 4.5 litre V8 engine with 2 turbos stuck on the end to generate more than 450bhp (331 kW in modern speak). It will do 0-100kmh in 5.6 seconds and has a top speed of 266 kmh. It has Porsche Traction Management and Porschce Stability Management software on board, and even raises and lowers itself depending on your speed and the road conditions to ensure optimum grip and performance.
I would therefore like to ask the git who was driving a dark silver one down Magazine Gap Road over the weekend why he was doing 25 kmh the whole way and approaching every corner so gingerly he clearly thought he was driving a teflon-coated taboggan down an ice sheet. I was in a hurry (I was late for a football match I was playing in - shouldn't have bothered - we lost 5-1) and got stuck behind this idiot the whole way down. I was so angry I forgot to write down the reg number but next time I see you I shall take note and you will be named and shamed. You have been warned.
The Porsche Cayenne Turbo.
Porsche's latest offering is a 4-wheel-drive off-roader called the Porsche Cayenne. There are 2 models - the Cayenne S and the Cayenne Turbo. Obviously being Hong Kong most people will buy the Cayenne Turbo as it is the most expensive model and therefore the one to have, irrespective of whether you actually need it.
The Porsche website reveals this is a truly impressive machine (if ugly as sin). It has a 4.5 litre V8 engine with 2 turbos stuck on the end to generate more than 450bhp (331 kW in modern speak). It will do 0-100kmh in 5.6 seconds and has a top speed of 266 kmh. It has Porsche Traction Management and Porschce Stability Management software on board, and even raises and lowers itself depending on your speed and the road conditions to ensure optimum grip and performance.
I would therefore like to ask the git who was driving a dark silver one down Magazine Gap Road over the weekend why he was doing 25 kmh the whole way and approaching every corner so gingerly he clearly thought he was driving a teflon-coated taboggan down an ice sheet. I was in a hurry (I was late for a football match I was playing in - shouldn't have bothered - we lost 5-1) and got stuck behind this idiot the whole way down. I was so angry I forgot to write down the reg number but next time I see you I shall take note and you will be named and shamed. You have been warned.
A FITTING MEMORIAL FOR ATTILA THE GUN
An Englishwoman has had her dead gun-loving husband's ashes mixed in with normal shot in shotgun cartridges and used them to go shooting with her friends. 275 cartridges were made and they accounted for 70 partridges, 23 pheasants, 7 ducks and 1 fox (never heard of fox shooting before!).
Surely this has to be the way that my gun-obsessed colleague Attila is put to rest when the time finally comes for him to hang up his AK47. Of course he would need to have his ashes somehow fitted into one of the depleted uranium armour piercing bullets that are apparently necessary in the States for shooting (you never know when you may come across a man-eating kevlar-reinforced rabbit after all). It would be a fitting finale I think. Just as Vermont's wildlife starts to relax, one of them gets Attila through the brain at a zillion m.p.h.
An Englishwoman has had her dead gun-loving husband's ashes mixed in with normal shot in shotgun cartridges and used them to go shooting with her friends. 275 cartridges were made and they accounted for 70 partridges, 23 pheasants, 7 ducks and 1 fox (never heard of fox shooting before!).
Surely this has to be the way that my gun-obsessed colleague Attila is put to rest when the time finally comes for him to hang up his AK47. Of course he would need to have his ashes somehow fitted into one of the depleted uranium armour piercing bullets that are apparently necessary in the States for shooting (you never know when you may come across a man-eating kevlar-reinforced rabbit after all). It would be a fitting finale I think. Just as Vermont's wildlife starts to relax, one of them gets Attila through the brain at a zillion m.p.h.
BIRD FLU - NOW IT'S FOR REAL
Now it's serious! Bird Flu has killed a rare leopard in a Thai zoo. It's one thing when it's killing people, after all there are 6 billion of us so a few more or less won't make much difference, but rare leopards are another thing altogether. The same zoo also has a tiger which is apparently recovering from the same virus. These animals are struggling enough (imagine what life in a Thai zoo must be like) without having to deal with bird flu.
This does however raise an interesting question. How do we know it's bird flu that has jumped to animals and humans? Perhaps it's cat flu that has jumped to birds?
If so then perhaps we are culling the wrong things? Perhaps we should be having another go at civet cats? After all Asian Governments seem to enjoy killing civet cats at the drop of a hat. I predict it's only a matter of time before they are being slaughtered needlessly again.
Oh yes, and someone in Vietnam is infected too.
(And before someone gets smart on the comments page, I would like to point out that I am aware that civet cats are not in fact cats)
Now it's serious! Bird Flu has killed a rare leopard in a Thai zoo. It's one thing when it's killing people, after all there are 6 billion of us so a few more or less won't make much difference, but rare leopards are another thing altogether. The same zoo also has a tiger which is apparently recovering from the same virus. These animals are struggling enough (imagine what life in a Thai zoo must be like) without having to deal with bird flu.
This does however raise an interesting question. How do we know it's bird flu that has jumped to animals and humans? Perhaps it's cat flu that has jumped to birds?
If so then perhaps we are culling the wrong things? Perhaps we should be having another go at civet cats? After all Asian Governments seem to enjoy killing civet cats at the drop of a hat. I predict it's only a matter of time before they are being slaughtered needlessly again.
Oh yes, and someone in Vietnam is infected too.
(And before someone gets smart on the comments page, I would like to point out that I am aware that civet cats are not in fact cats)
Monday, February 16, 2004
POLLUTION
As the more perceptive of you may have noticed, Hong Kong is prone to air pollution and smog (or as the govt weather service insists on calling it - "haze"). I have to think about this as I am mildly asthmatic (although in fact I have had far fewer problems here than I did in London). On bad days the gov't advises people not to go outdoors or do exercise, and I have noticed some people wearing masks on these days which I can sort of understand even if I think they don't make any difference.
Today however I noticed several people walking along with either a handkerchief or, even more pointlessly, a hand over their mouths and noses. I suppose a handkerchief might conceivably keep some of the gunk out, but a hand? These are tiny particles we're talking about. They're not the size of large flying insects. If they were you'd be able to dodge them and not have to worry. Walking along with your hand over your mouth just makes you look stupid. It doesn't help at all. It also won't defend you against bird flu.
Pull yourselves together.
As the more perceptive of you may have noticed, Hong Kong is prone to air pollution and smog (or as the govt weather service insists on calling it - "haze"). I have to think about this as I am mildly asthmatic (although in fact I have had far fewer problems here than I did in London). On bad days the gov't advises people not to go outdoors or do exercise, and I have noticed some people wearing masks on these days which I can sort of understand even if I think they don't make any difference.
Today however I noticed several people walking along with either a handkerchief or, even more pointlessly, a hand over their mouths and noses. I suppose a handkerchief might conceivably keep some of the gunk out, but a hand? These are tiny particles we're talking about. They're not the size of large flying insects. If they were you'd be able to dodge them and not have to worry. Walking along with your hand over your mouth just makes you look stupid. It doesn't help at all. It also won't defend you against bird flu.
Pull yourselves together.
ON A LIGHTER NOTE
The weekend here in HK was wonderful. 20-odd degrees, sunshine, a cooling breeze - heaven...
Had dinners on Friday and Saturday night, both with couples who are leaving the fragrant isle.
1 couple consist of a woman who was born and brought up here and her husband who has been here for 10-15 years. They are going travelling for a year or 2 and then going to live in London for a while in a flat they own but which is currently rented out. Sounds amazing and I am very jealous.
The plans of the other couple I'm not so sure about. They want to go to New Zealand ultimately, and so, to activate their visas, the wife is moving there for a year with their 2 children while the husband stays here working. Sounds far from ideal to me, but each to their own. The bit I really don't get though is, why New Zealand? Both are English born and bred, so surely if they want to be cold and wet they can just go back to blighty? At least then Europe is on your doorstep. Why go to New Zealand?
The irony to this being, I'm off to NZ myself this week for a business trip and spending the weekend in Auckland. It'll be the peak of summer. I must remember to dig out the waterproof fleece and a nice thick woolly jumper....
The weekend here in HK was wonderful. 20-odd degrees, sunshine, a cooling breeze - heaven...
Had dinners on Friday and Saturday night, both with couples who are leaving the fragrant isle.
1 couple consist of a woman who was born and brought up here and her husband who has been here for 10-15 years. They are going travelling for a year or 2 and then going to live in London for a while in a flat they own but which is currently rented out. Sounds amazing and I am very jealous.
The plans of the other couple I'm not so sure about. They want to go to New Zealand ultimately, and so, to activate their visas, the wife is moving there for a year with their 2 children while the husband stays here working. Sounds far from ideal to me, but each to their own. The bit I really don't get though is, why New Zealand? Both are English born and bred, so surely if they want to be cold and wet they can just go back to blighty? At least then Europe is on your doorstep. Why go to New Zealand?
The irony to this being, I'm off to NZ myself this week for a business trip and spending the weekend in Auckland. It'll be the peak of summer. I must remember to dig out the waterproof fleece and a nice thick woolly jumper....
PERHAPS MALTHUS WAS RIGHT?
In 1788 Thomas Malthus published an essay on human population. Essentially the principle was that as the population grew, more people will be killed by the effects of over population such as war (fighting for space and resources), natural human aggression (the result of overcrowding) and other factors. This effect would mean that human population would reach a plateau defined by human nature as much as by resources. Every time this level was breached there would effectively be something that would kill off the "excess" and bring the population back into line.
The march of the human population to it's current level of 6bn would seem to suggest that Malthus was wrong. But was he?
As a result of intensive farming techniques used to feed the ever-growing population we have had mass deaths from existing diseases such as TB (which is now making a comeback in the UK now), plus we have a whole raft of new diseases for which we have only ourselves to blame - Mad Cow Disease (BSE), SARS and Avian Flu (irrespective of how bug a threat you think it is) are all the result of human populations being forced to live ever closer to animals, and farm them more intensively.
There is also a school of thought that HIV/AIDS started in monkeys and then made the jump to humans (I don't want to contemplate how that jump was made). However it did it, it is now decimating populations in Africa (threatening massive depopulation of Southern Africa over the next 10 years) and is spreading fast across Asia as drugs problems grow and societies become more liberal. The Chinese tactic of pretending it isn't happening probably isn't going to help!
Then over the weekend this lot happened..
90 Die in 2 seperate fires in China
Riots in Sydney after an aboriginal boy died. The police deny involvement in his death but frustrations boiled over anyway in a poor part of the city.
25 die in Moscow after a water park collased, apparently from the weight of snow on the roof.
40 die in a collision in Uganda between a fuel tanker and a minibus.
On the plus side.. "only" 1 person was killed in Iraq this weekend, but after last weeks mass killings I would be astonished if there are not more deaths to come.
Not a good weekend for the human race...
In 1788 Thomas Malthus published an essay on human population. Essentially the principle was that as the population grew, more people will be killed by the effects of over population such as war (fighting for space and resources), natural human aggression (the result of overcrowding) and other factors. This effect would mean that human population would reach a plateau defined by human nature as much as by resources. Every time this level was breached there would effectively be something that would kill off the "excess" and bring the population back into line.
The march of the human population to it's current level of 6bn would seem to suggest that Malthus was wrong. But was he?
As a result of intensive farming techniques used to feed the ever-growing population we have had mass deaths from existing diseases such as TB (which is now making a comeback in the UK now), plus we have a whole raft of new diseases for which we have only ourselves to blame - Mad Cow Disease (BSE), SARS and Avian Flu (irrespective of how bug a threat you think it is) are all the result of human populations being forced to live ever closer to animals, and farm them more intensively.
There is also a school of thought that HIV/AIDS started in monkeys and then made the jump to humans (I don't want to contemplate how that jump was made). However it did it, it is now decimating populations in Africa (threatening massive depopulation of Southern Africa over the next 10 years) and is spreading fast across Asia as drugs problems grow and societies become more liberal. The Chinese tactic of pretending it isn't happening probably isn't going to help!
Then over the weekend this lot happened..
90 Die in 2 seperate fires in China
Riots in Sydney after an aboriginal boy died. The police deny involvement in his death but frustrations boiled over anyway in a poor part of the city.
25 die in Moscow after a water park collased, apparently from the weight of snow on the roof.
40 die in a collision in Uganda between a fuel tanker and a minibus.
On the plus side.. "only" 1 person was killed in Iraq this weekend, but after last weeks mass killings I would be astonished if there are not more deaths to come.
Not a good weekend for the human race...
6 NATIONS - JUST CALL ME MR SMUG
My predictions
France to win by 15 to 20
Wales to win by 10 to 15
England to win by 45 to 50
The results
France won by 18
Wales won by 13
England won by 41
Only 1 miss, and that was damn close.
england were just too strong for Italy, as expected. already there are only really 3 temas left, although Ireland might yet string a few results together if some of their injury problems clear up.
I'm in New Zealand next weekend for the next round of games which means getting up ridiculously early on Sunday morning to catch England's next outing, but the prospect of watching them mash the Scots is too good to pass up. No doubt I will be the only England fan in whatever bar I watch it in, but that will only make victory all the sweeter.
My predictions
France to win by 15 to 20
Wales to win by 10 to 15
England to win by 45 to 50
The results
France won by 18
Wales won by 13
England won by 41
Only 1 miss, and that was damn close.
england were just too strong for Italy, as expected. already there are only really 3 temas left, although Ireland might yet string a few results together if some of their injury problems clear up.
I'm in New Zealand next weekend for the next round of games which means getting up ridiculously early on Sunday morning to catch England's next outing, but the prospect of watching them mash the Scots is too good to pass up. No doubt I will be the only England fan in whatever bar I watch it in, but that will only make victory all the sweeter.
Sunday, February 15, 2004
6 NATIONS - THE PLOT SO FAR
15 minutes to go till England take on Italy. Mrs C has gone to bed, our little charioteer is asleep, the dogs are asleep. I am the only member of the house awake so I thought I'd take a moment to review the opening 2 games last night, and I must say I'm feeling quite smug. The opening 2 games fell within my predictions.
France beat Ireland by 35 to 17. Sadly I only saw the highlights but France looked very good. Certainly they look to be the boys to beat so far.
Wales 23 Scotland 10. Wales looked great and got off to a flyer but Scotland managed to stem the flood and scored a consoltaion try in the dying minutes to bering the final margin within my prediction of 10-15. Looks like Scotland v Italy to decide the wooden spoon, unless of course tonights game goes seriously awry for England.
Which brings me to me England v Italy prediction of 45 to 50 points. It sounds very bullish and arrogant, but I think the only way the final score won't be at least close to that sort of scoreline is if England ease up late on once the game is won. Itlay will be hard and physical and will probably do ok in the opening exchanges but I think the English teams superior strength, skill and fitnesss will tell as the game goes on, ands the floodgates will open up.
Now the anthems are starting and it's time to go. Weekend report to follow tomorrow.
Swing low sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home....
15 minutes to go till England take on Italy. Mrs C has gone to bed, our little charioteer is asleep, the dogs are asleep. I am the only member of the house awake so I thought I'd take a moment to review the opening 2 games last night, and I must say I'm feeling quite smug. The opening 2 games fell within my predictions.
France beat Ireland by 35 to 17. Sadly I only saw the highlights but France looked very good. Certainly they look to be the boys to beat so far.
Wales 23 Scotland 10. Wales looked great and got off to a flyer but Scotland managed to stem the flood and scored a consoltaion try in the dying minutes to bering the final margin within my prediction of 10-15. Looks like Scotland v Italy to decide the wooden spoon, unless of course tonights game goes seriously awry for England.
Which brings me to me England v Italy prediction of 45 to 50 points. It sounds very bullish and arrogant, but I think the only way the final score won't be at least close to that sort of scoreline is if England ease up late on once the game is won. Itlay will be hard and physical and will probably do ok in the opening exchanges but I think the English teams superior strength, skill and fitnesss will tell as the game goes on, ands the floodgates will open up.
Now the anthems are starting and it's time to go. Weekend report to follow tomorrow.
Swing low sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home....
Friday, February 13, 2004
6 NATIONS PREDICTIONS
time to make the final pre-tournament checks. Beer in fridge - tick, sofa free of dogs - tick, TV working - tick - and we're off.....
In order of play my predictions are..
France to beat Ireland by 15 to 20 pts.
O'Driscoll is injured and Keith Wood retired. Without their only 2 genuine world class performers they will struggle against France.
Wales to beat Scotland by 10 to 15 pts.
Wales looked good at the end of the World Cup, while Scotland looked woeful. I think Scotland will probably raise their game for the 6 Nations, especially with a new coach to impress, but Wales are at home and I think will be too strong.
England to beat Italy by 45 to 50 pts.
Italy have so many injury problems they have delayed naming their team to give some players more recovery time. England will be way too good, even without Wilkinson and Johnson.
time to make the final pre-tournament checks. Beer in fridge - tick, sofa free of dogs - tick, TV working - tick - and we're off.....
In order of play my predictions are..
France to beat Ireland by 15 to 20 pts.
O'Driscoll is injured and Keith Wood retired. Without their only 2 genuine world class performers they will struggle against France.
Wales to beat Scotland by 10 to 15 pts.
Wales looked good at the end of the World Cup, while Scotland looked woeful. I think Scotland will probably raise their game for the 6 Nations, especially with a new coach to impress, but Wales are at home and I think will be too strong.
England to beat Italy by 45 to 50 pts.
Italy have so many injury problems they have delayed naming their team to give some players more recovery time. England will be way too good, even without Wilkinson and Johnson.
PATRIOTISM
A quick read of Hemlock leads me to this story in the Standard. It seems that the mianland view is that anyone who does not slavishly support everything that our masters in Beijing foist on us cannot be considered a patriot and so should have no place in the discussions re Hong Kong's political future.
One the mainland team who drafted the Basic Law, Hong Kongs mini constitution, said ``Former Chinese leader [Deng Xiaoping] had mentioned it very clearly. We need to respect and love our race, love our own country, and love Hong Kong. These were his basic conditions,''.
This is the same Deng Xiaoping who, as a member of the ruling politburo, loved his race and country so much that he devoted most of his life to keeping his people poor, uninformed, backward and down-trodden. Deng was essentially an evil bastard (even if he did lighten up a bit towards the end), and his views on absolutely anything and everything should be consigned to the rubbish heap.
A quick read of Hemlock leads me to this story in the Standard. It seems that the mianland view is that anyone who does not slavishly support everything that our masters in Beijing foist on us cannot be considered a patriot and so should have no place in the discussions re Hong Kong's political future.
One the mainland team who drafted the Basic Law, Hong Kongs mini constitution, said ``Former Chinese leader [Deng Xiaoping] had mentioned it very clearly. We need to respect and love our race, love our own country, and love Hong Kong. These were his basic conditions,''.
This is the same Deng Xiaoping who, as a member of the ruling politburo, loved his race and country so much that he devoted most of his life to keeping his people poor, uninformed, backward and down-trodden. Deng was essentially an evil bastard (even if he did lighten up a bit towards the end), and his views on absolutely anything and everything should be consigned to the rubbish heap.
SADDAM "ON DRUGS WHEN HE DECIDED TO INVADE KUWAIT"
A story in today's Sydney Morning Herald claims Saddam was high when he decided to invade Kuwait.
And perhaps George W Bush may have had a similar experience re Iraq - it would certainly explain the imaginery W.M.D.?
A story in today's Sydney Morning Herald claims Saddam was high when he decided to invade Kuwait.
And perhaps George W Bush may have had a similar experience re Iraq - it would certainly explain the imaginery W.M.D.?
THE CAREFREE INNOCENCE OF SCHOOLDAYS
Ten schoolteachers in the northern German town of Lueneburg were hospitalised after eating a chocolate cake laced with cannabis, police said on Thursday.
The incident was believed to have been a student prank. The cake had been left in the school staffroom with a note saying ``Thank you for everything - enjoy your meal''.
Suspicions were not aroused because the school has a tradition of cake-baking by students and their parents for the 65 teaching staff, the proceeds of which are donated to charity.
Peter Homburg, head of the secondary high school, said the incident Wednesday was ``relatively dramatic''.
Teachers complained of dizziness and loss of sensory perception, and one phoned in from the railway station saying he needed help.
All teachers were later released from hospital, although some remained at home Thursday to recover. Police said they were investigating unknown persons on an assault charge.
Bet there'll be a queue to join the "home economics" class there now.
Ten schoolteachers in the northern German town of Lueneburg were hospitalised after eating a chocolate cake laced with cannabis, police said on Thursday.
The incident was believed to have been a student prank. The cake had been left in the school staffroom with a note saying ``Thank you for everything - enjoy your meal''.
Suspicions were not aroused because the school has a tradition of cake-baking by students and their parents for the 65 teaching staff, the proceeds of which are donated to charity.
Peter Homburg, head of the secondary high school, said the incident Wednesday was ``relatively dramatic''.
Teachers complained of dizziness and loss of sensory perception, and one phoned in from the railway station saying he needed help.
All teachers were later released from hospital, although some remained at home Thursday to recover. Police said they were investigating unknown persons on an assault charge.
Bet there'll be a queue to join the "home economics" class there now.
U.S. PRESIDENTIAL RACE
It seems John Kerry, the front-runner for the Democratic nomination to challenge Bush for the Presidency, may have had a 2 year affair starting in 2001. No doubt in the States this will be huge news, and could potentially derail his bid for the Democratic leadership.
This is probably going to be slightly mystifying to non-americans. Americans seem to put a much higher moral standard against their leaders than Europeans. In the UK then Prime Minister John Major had an affair with a female mamber of his cabinet, In France President Mitterand openly had a mistress (with whom he had a daughter). In Italy it is assumed that all senior politicians or businessmen have either had affairs or have mistresses - it would be not having 1 that raises eyebrows.
Surely it is his ability to lead the country that people should be worried about, not his private life. Personally I don't care who the leader of a country is sleeping with / has slept with. As long as he hasn't broken the law, what's the big deal?
It's much more of an issue when you get the sort corrupt scumbags they seem to specialise in in Indonesia, Malaysia and the Philippines trying to run a country.
It seems John Kerry, the front-runner for the Democratic nomination to challenge Bush for the Presidency, may have had a 2 year affair starting in 2001. No doubt in the States this will be huge news, and could potentially derail his bid for the Democratic leadership.
This is probably going to be slightly mystifying to non-americans. Americans seem to put a much higher moral standard against their leaders than Europeans. In the UK then Prime Minister John Major had an affair with a female mamber of his cabinet, In France President Mitterand openly had a mistress (with whom he had a daughter). In Italy it is assumed that all senior politicians or businessmen have either had affairs or have mistresses - it would be not having 1 that raises eyebrows.
Surely it is his ability to lead the country that people should be worried about, not his private life. Personally I don't care who the leader of a country is sleeping with / has slept with. As long as he hasn't broken the law, what's the big deal?
It's much more of an issue when you get the sort corrupt scumbags they seem to specialise in in Indonesia, Malaysia and the Philippines trying to run a country.
Thursday, February 12, 2004
EAST MEETS WEST
Most of the time Hong Kong is like any other big city, and the locals bahAve like inhabitants of any other big city, but occasionally things happen which make me wonder what is going on. Perhaps there really is a vast gulf between "Easterners" and "Westerners". For example....
At lunchtime today I went over to Tsim Sha Tsui for a fitting for a new suit. I took the MTR (MRT / subway / tube / metro etc depending on your home country), which I might add is the way all these systems should be - wide, spacious, clean, airconditioned, cheap... Ken Livingstone could learn a thing or 2 here.
Anyway to get to the train you obviously have to descend into the bowels of the earth on an escalator. In every city i've been to there is a rule, either written or not, which requires people standing to stay on the left so that people who want to walk can pass on the right. Not here. They all stop dead on the escalator as though their limbs have been turned to wood, no matter the time of day, the weather, the heat, or, in this case more importantly, the rush they're in.
So there we all are standing on the escalator. It's impossible to get through as all the steps are jammed with 2 or 3 people standing stock still. At the bottom is the train. The doors are open. There is a big display clearly stating 1 minute to go. Still we stand. Then the familiar "the doors are about to shut" beeping starts. Still we stand. The doors start to close. My little section now reaches the bottom of the escalator. As soon as their little feet hit the platform they are transformed into scurrying little ants, all desperate to get to the train before the doors are closed. They all fail, and all make long faces and noises which I assume are whatever the cantonese for "tut" is.
?EH? IF YOU WERE IN A RUSH WHY DIDN'T YOU AT LEAST WALK DOWN THE ESCALATOR? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? THINK ABOUT IT! IT'S NOT THAT HARD!
Most of the time Hong Kong is like any other big city, and the locals bahAve like inhabitants of any other big city, but occasionally things happen which make me wonder what is going on. Perhaps there really is a vast gulf between "Easterners" and "Westerners". For example....
At lunchtime today I went over to Tsim Sha Tsui for a fitting for a new suit. I took the MTR (MRT / subway / tube / metro etc depending on your home country), which I might add is the way all these systems should be - wide, spacious, clean, airconditioned, cheap... Ken Livingstone could learn a thing or 2 here.
Anyway to get to the train you obviously have to descend into the bowels of the earth on an escalator. In every city i've been to there is a rule, either written or not, which requires people standing to stay on the left so that people who want to walk can pass on the right. Not here. They all stop dead on the escalator as though their limbs have been turned to wood, no matter the time of day, the weather, the heat, or, in this case more importantly, the rush they're in.
So there we all are standing on the escalator. It's impossible to get through as all the steps are jammed with 2 or 3 people standing stock still. At the bottom is the train. The doors are open. There is a big display clearly stating 1 minute to go. Still we stand. Then the familiar "the doors are about to shut" beeping starts. Still we stand. The doors start to close. My little section now reaches the bottom of the escalator. As soon as their little feet hit the platform they are transformed into scurrying little ants, all desperate to get to the train before the doors are closed. They all fail, and all make long faces and noises which I assume are whatever the cantonese for "tut" is.
?EH? IF YOU WERE IN A RUSH WHY DIDN'T YOU AT LEAST WALK DOWN THE ESCALATOR? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? THINK ABOUT IT! IT'S NOT THAT HARD!
VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRED!
If, like me, your reaction to the approach of Valentine's Day, and all the sickly-sweet goo that goes with it, is bah humbug, then you will be overjoyed to hear PCCW in Hong Kong are offering the ultimate Valentine's Day service. For the bargain price of HK$1 they will break up with your noy-so-loved-one via SMS and voicemail.
The soon-to-be-single other half receives an SMS from PCCW requesting they check their voicemail. Upon calling they will receive a messagen (in Cantonese) informing them "I don't want to waste both of our time. If we are not happy together, then perhaps we should break up. We can begin our lives again without each other and begin our search for happiness".
What class...
If, like me, your reaction to the approach of Valentine's Day, and all the sickly-sweet goo that goes with it, is bah humbug, then you will be overjoyed to hear PCCW in Hong Kong are offering the ultimate Valentine's Day service. For the bargain price of HK$1 they will break up with your noy-so-loved-one via SMS and voicemail.
The soon-to-be-single other half receives an SMS from PCCW requesting they check their voicemail. Upon calling they will receive a messagen (in Cantonese) informing them "I don't want to waste both of our time. If we are not happy together, then perhaps we should break up. We can begin our lives again without each other and begin our search for happiness".
What class...
MIDDLE EAST
Yesterday was not a good day! 47 more dead in Iraq following another suicide bomb atack on Iraqis rather than Americans, and 15 killed in the Gaza Strip by the Israeli Army during operations aimed at tracking down mortar postions and secret tunnels the Israeli's say are used to transport weapons.
In Israel it seems the much-vaunted "roadmap" has been largely ignored by both sides (typical men really - refuse to use the map or ask for directions but plough on instead hoping that eventually they will somehow bump into whatever or wherever it is they are looking for). This conflict, however unfortunate and, to an outsider, unnecessary it appears to be, at least is understable in terms of 2 opposing sides with very different aims and views of the world
The attacks in Iraq however now seem to pit Muslim against Muslim and the supposed enemy, the U.S. and it's allies, appears almost forgotten. Surely whoever is behind these attacks realises that they are only likely to harden opinion against them by even moderates on their own side. Hopefully it will simply make their support base dwindle and reduce their flow of funds. Alternatively how many idiots willing to drive a car full of explosives and set it off can there be out there? Surely they have to run out eventually? Sadly I think those hopes are probably forlorn - as I said before it seems the only things they have an endless supply of are sand, rocks and idiots.
It's a mad world out there. Thankfully I live in Hong Kong where they worship the only True God - MONEY. No problems there...
Yesterday was not a good day! 47 more dead in Iraq following another suicide bomb atack on Iraqis rather than Americans, and 15 killed in the Gaza Strip by the Israeli Army during operations aimed at tracking down mortar postions and secret tunnels the Israeli's say are used to transport weapons.
In Israel it seems the much-vaunted "roadmap" has been largely ignored by both sides (typical men really - refuse to use the map or ask for directions but plough on instead hoping that eventually they will somehow bump into whatever or wherever it is they are looking for). This conflict, however unfortunate and, to an outsider, unnecessary it appears to be, at least is understable in terms of 2 opposing sides with very different aims and views of the world
The attacks in Iraq however now seem to pit Muslim against Muslim and the supposed enemy, the U.S. and it's allies, appears almost forgotten. Surely whoever is behind these attacks realises that they are only likely to harden opinion against them by even moderates on their own side. Hopefully it will simply make their support base dwindle and reduce their flow of funds. Alternatively how many idiots willing to drive a car full of explosives and set it off can there be out there? Surely they have to run out eventually? Sadly I think those hopes are probably forlorn - as I said before it seems the only things they have an endless supply of are sand, rocks and idiots.
It's a mad world out there. Thankfully I live in Hong Kong where they worship the only True God - MONEY. No problems there...
PUT IT IN YOUR DIARY - THE LIONS FIXTURES HAVE BEEN ANNOUNCED
For the Lions a tour victory in New Zealand is the Holy Grail. Only once have they beaten the All Blacks, in 1971. And despite the Kiwis failure to win the World Cup beating them on their home turf is far from a foregone conclusion. The All Blacks are still the most succesful international sports team in the world, with a higher win ratin than any other international team in any sport. The level of passion and obsession with the game there is almost scary - it has to be the only country in the world to have 2 TV channels devoted exclusively to Rugby in addition to the usual 2 or 3 sports channels on cable/satellite.
The itinerary is awesome - 3 tests on consecutive weekends allowing for a momentum to be built up, and more importantly plenty of skiing and wine tasting in-between. My only complaint is that they are not playing in Dunedin - any place that has a stadium called the House of Pain has got to be worth going to.
Where's the Cathay timetable?
UPDATE - my lack of knowledge of NZ geography has been shown up. The game vs Otago on 18 June is at Dunedin. Excellent.
For those who want the fixture list here it is...
JUNE
4 vs Bay of Plenty - Rotorua
8 vs Taranaki - New Plymouth
11 vs New Zealand Maori - Hamilton
15 vs Wellington - Wellington
18 vs Otago - Dunedin
21 vs Southland - Invercargill
25 vs NEW ZEALAND, FIRST TEST - Christchurch
28 vs Manawatu - Palmerston North
JULY
2 vs NEW ZEALAND, SECOND TEST - Wellington
9 vs NEW ZEALAND, THIRD TEST - Auckland
For the Lions a tour victory in New Zealand is the Holy Grail. Only once have they beaten the All Blacks, in 1971. And despite the Kiwis failure to win the World Cup beating them on their home turf is far from a foregone conclusion. The All Blacks are still the most succesful international sports team in the world, with a higher win ratin than any other international team in any sport. The level of passion and obsession with the game there is almost scary - it has to be the only country in the world to have 2 TV channels devoted exclusively to Rugby in addition to the usual 2 or 3 sports channels on cable/satellite.
The itinerary is awesome - 3 tests on consecutive weekends allowing for a momentum to be built up, and more importantly plenty of skiing and wine tasting in-between. My only complaint is that they are not playing in Dunedin - any place that has a stadium called the House of Pain has got to be worth going to.
Where's the Cathay timetable?
UPDATE - my lack of knowledge of NZ geography has been shown up. The game vs Otago on 18 June is at Dunedin. Excellent.
For those who want the fixture list here it is...
JUNE
4 vs Bay of Plenty - Rotorua
8 vs Taranaki - New Plymouth
11 vs New Zealand Maori - Hamilton
15 vs Wellington - Wellington
18 vs Otago - Dunedin
21 vs Southland - Invercargill
25 vs NEW ZEALAND, FIRST TEST - Christchurch
28 vs Manawatu - Palmerston North
JULY
2 vs NEW ZEALAND, SECOND TEST - Wellington
9 vs NEW ZEALAND, THIRD TEST - Auckland
WHAT IS IT ABOUT AUSTRALIANS AND DEADLY CREATURES?
CAVES BEACH, Australia, Feb. 11 (UPI) -- An Australian shark bit into the leg
of a stubborn man who wrestled with it, dragged it from the sea and drove his
car to get help removing it.
Luke Tresoglavic told the Australian Broadcasting Corp. he was swimming near
Caves Beach Tuesday when a Wobbegong shark latched on to his leg.
"I just instantly grabbed hold of it with both hands as hard as I could to stop
it shaking," he said. "I just realized I had to swim in like that, hanging on
to it."
Several people on the beach tried to pry open the jaws of the 23-inch shark,
found only in southern Australian waters, but had no success.
"So I got up into my car and then drove to the clubhouse and luckily the guys
down there had a clue what to do," Tresoglavic said.
The lifeguards ingeniously hosed the shark's gills with fresh water, weakening
it sufficiently for its jaws to be pried apart.
Tresoglavic was treated for 70 small puncture wounds. The shark did not survive.
CAVES BEACH, Australia, Feb. 11 (UPI) -- An Australian shark bit into the leg
of a stubborn man who wrestled with it, dragged it from the sea and drove his
car to get help removing it.
Luke Tresoglavic told the Australian Broadcasting Corp. he was swimming near
Caves Beach Tuesday when a Wobbegong shark latched on to his leg.
"I just instantly grabbed hold of it with both hands as hard as I could to stop
it shaking," he said. "I just realized I had to swim in like that, hanging on
to it."
Several people on the beach tried to pry open the jaws of the 23-inch shark,
found only in southern Australian waters, but had no success.
"So I got up into my car and then drove to the clubhouse and luckily the guys
down there had a clue what to do," Tresoglavic said.
The lifeguards ingeniously hosed the shark's gills with fresh water, weakening
it sufficiently for its jaws to be pried apart.
Tresoglavic was treated for 70 small puncture wounds. The shark did not survive.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
THE EURO
One of the many arguments used against the Euro during the debate before it's introduction was that it would allow big businesses to take advantage of confusion generated by it's introduction to raise prices without detection by the public.
It now turns out that the biggest abuse of it's introduction to raise price was in Italy, where some prices effectively doubled. No susrprise there you might say. This is Italy after all and Italian business, as Parmalat has so magnificently proved, is at best "a bit iffy" and at worst downright corrupt. However the "Firm" that is in the dock for this abuse is the Mafia! What is the world coming to when uyou can't even rely on organised crime to behave honourably!
One of the many arguments used against the Euro during the debate before it's introduction was that it would allow big businesses to take advantage of confusion generated by it's introduction to raise prices without detection by the public.
It now turns out that the biggest abuse of it's introduction to raise price was in Italy, where some prices effectively doubled. No susrprise there you might say. This is Italy after all and Italian business, as Parmalat has so magnificently proved, is at best "a bit iffy" and at worst downright corrupt. However the "Firm" that is in the dock for this abuse is the Mafia! What is the world coming to when uyou can't even rely on organised crime to behave honourably!
NEWS FLASH - AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL RACE
Someone I'd never heard of until a few weeks ago, has won a largely inconsequential vote in a minor state which I think is somewhere about half-way down the east coast , in the race for leadership of a party which appears to this outsider to be indistunguishable from the current incumbents. If he gets the leadership then he will have the chance to run against Bush for the U.S. presidency and the title "leader of the free world" despite the fact that 95% of the worlds population live outside American borders.
Senator Kerry's main claim to the White House appears to that he sounds like Mayor Quimby from the Simpsons. On the plus side, this would allow the rest of the world to laugh out loud at the U.S president, instead of their current policy of sniggering quietly behind their hands lest he hear them and invade.
The scary thought is..... there is still 9 MONTHS to go till the actual election. It's democracy by endurance, not popular opinion.
Someone I'd never heard of until a few weeks ago, has won a largely inconsequential vote in a minor state which I think is somewhere about half-way down the east coast , in the race for leadership of a party which appears to this outsider to be indistunguishable from the current incumbents. If he gets the leadership then he will have the chance to run against Bush for the U.S. presidency and the title "leader of the free world" despite the fact that 95% of the worlds population live outside American borders.
Senator Kerry's main claim to the White House appears to that he sounds like Mayor Quimby from the Simpsons. On the plus side, this would allow the rest of the world to laugh out loud at the U.S president, instead of their current policy of sniggering quietly behind their hands lest he hear them and invade.
The scary thought is..... there is still 9 MONTHS to go till the actual election. It's democracy by endurance, not popular opinion.
IDIOTS
i can understand the logic of bombing the opposition, even if I don't agree with it, but bombing your own side?
the latest suicide bomb in Iraq was aimed fair and square at Iraqis, even if they were queuing up to join the american-organised police force.
I can only assume that what little logic there is in this is aimed at scaring the local population away from aligning themselves with the U.S. led coalition currently running the country, although there have also been "revelations" from the U.S. that thay have uncovered a plan by Al-Qaeda to attempt to destabilise Iraq by turning Shia muslims against Sunni muslims which could also be an explanation.
Either way I would have thought that the U.S. are quietly pleased at this developement. Surely it has to be a sign of desperation when the extremists start turning on their own people and their own support base. It does highlight their inability to mount any form of meaningful attack on U.S. soil or against U.S. forces outside the States.
While I wish George Bush had had the balls to admit up front that he wanted to get rid of Saddam because he thought he was an evil bastard who was potentially harbouring extremists rather than come up with some cock-and-bull story about W.M.D. (if he had then I would have supported the war), I will admit that taking out Afghanistan and Iraq has certainly dealt a pretty powerful blow to the lunatic fringe. Let's hope it proves a fatal blow.
i can understand the logic of bombing the opposition, even if I don't agree with it, but bombing your own side?
the latest suicide bomb in Iraq was aimed fair and square at Iraqis, even if they were queuing up to join the american-organised police force.
I can only assume that what little logic there is in this is aimed at scaring the local population away from aligning themselves with the U.S. led coalition currently running the country, although there have also been "revelations" from the U.S. that thay have uncovered a plan by Al-Qaeda to attempt to destabilise Iraq by turning Shia muslims against Sunni muslims which could also be an explanation.
Either way I would have thought that the U.S. are quietly pleased at this developement. Surely it has to be a sign of desperation when the extremists start turning on their own people and their own support base. It does highlight their inability to mount any form of meaningful attack on U.S. soil or against U.S. forces outside the States.
While I wish George Bush had had the balls to admit up front that he wanted to get rid of Saddam because he thought he was an evil bastard who was potentially harbouring extremists rather than come up with some cock-and-bull story about W.M.D. (if he had then I would have supported the war), I will admit that taking out Afghanistan and Iraq has certainly dealt a pretty powerful blow to the lunatic fringe. Let's hope it proves a fatal blow.
OUCH!
I know police forces around the world are trying to crack down on speeding (except in Thailand judging by my last visit), but I think a speeding fine of Euro170,00 is a bit steep, even if you are a millionaire.
I know police forces around the world are trying to crack down on speeding (except in Thailand judging by my last visit), but I think a speeding fine of Euro170,00 is a bit steep, even if you are a millionaire.
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
MAN WITH TOWEL IN HIS HEAD, VISITS MEN WITH TOWELS ON THEIRS.
I actually think Prince Charles is a good man, who does try to think long and hard about the world's problems, and has probably a better understanding of Islamic "culture" and their world view than most (certainly than me). If any of the royal family have to take over when the queen dies then he is, in my view, by far and away the pick of a pretty poor bunch, especially now that the air-headed bimbo he married is out of the way.
Having said that he is no rocket scientist, and I would have loved to be a fly on the wall for his recent visits to Iran and Saudi Arabia. His attempts to empathise with people who live in mud hovels which have been destroyed by a huge earthquake must have been quite entertaining.
Prince - "So when one's mud hut has collapsed, and one has no water, electricity, telephone or outside help, what does one do to avail oneself of ones supply of organic muesli?"
Towel - "eh?"
I actually think Prince Charles is a good man, who does try to think long and hard about the world's problems, and has probably a better understanding of Islamic "culture" and their world view than most (certainly than me). If any of the royal family have to take over when the queen dies then he is, in my view, by far and away the pick of a pretty poor bunch, especially now that the air-headed bimbo he married is out of the way.
Having said that he is no rocket scientist, and I would have loved to be a fly on the wall for his recent visits to Iran and Saudi Arabia. His attempts to empathise with people who live in mud hovels which have been destroyed by a huge earthquake must have been quite entertaining.
Prince - "So when one's mud hut has collapsed, and one has no water, electricity, telephone or outside help, what does one do to avail oneself of ones supply of organic muesli?"
Towel - "eh?"
BACK TO AN EASY TARGET - AMERICANS
Got these this on email yesterday from a colleague regarding our friends the americans and their love of resorting to the legal system for the least little provocation. I know most of these are probably false, but thought they were worth sharing with anyone who cares.
The Stella Awards
It's time once again to review the winners of the annual "Stella Awards." The
Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on
herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards
for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.
The following are this year's winners:
5th Place (tie):
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside
a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at
the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms.Robertson's
son.
5th Place (tie):
A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when
his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently
didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to
steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
5th Place (tie):
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just
finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door
to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't
re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked
when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found
himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi
he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance
claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the
tune of $500,000.
4th Place:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's eagle.
The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was
less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little
provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a
pellet gun.
3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx
(tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at
her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
2nd Place:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night
club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor
and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton
was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying
the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place:
This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first
trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, he set
the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the
back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the
freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising
him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded
him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their
manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete
morons buying their recreation vehicles.
Got these this on email yesterday from a colleague regarding our friends the americans and their love of resorting to the legal system for the least little provocation. I know most of these are probably false, but thought they were worth sharing with anyone who cares.
The Stella Awards
It's time once again to review the winners of the annual "Stella Awards." The
Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on
herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards
for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.
The following are this year's winners:
5th Place (tie):
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside
a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at
the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms.Robertson's
son.
5th Place (tie):
A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when
his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently
didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to
steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
5th Place (tie):
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just
finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door
to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't
re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked
when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found
himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi
he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance
claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the
tune of $500,000.
4th Place:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's eagle.
The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was
less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little
provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a
pellet gun.
3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx
(tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at
her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
2nd Place:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night
club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor
and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton
was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying
the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place:
This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first
trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, he set
the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the
back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the
freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising
him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded
him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their
manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete
morons buying their recreation vehicles.
WHO DO YOU BELIEVE LESS?
North Korea is denying receiving any nuclear technology or secrets from Pakistan, claiming the reports are part of a U.S. smear campaign.
So now we have North Korea on one side and Pakistan on the other. Neither are exactly what you might describe as "free and fair" societies, and their governments have many reputations but I don't think honesty figures on the list for either.
Meanwhile the World Healh Organisation, clearly angry that the nuclear revelations have knocked bird flu off the frontpages, have found someone else in Vietnam who has apparently died after getting too close to chickens, taking the worldwide death toll from this latest killer disease to a rather pathetic 19. They are still however offering stern advice about the threat of a pandemic.
I'm not sure which if three are less credible.
North Korea is denying receiving any nuclear technology or secrets from Pakistan, claiming the reports are part of a U.S. smear campaign.
So now we have North Korea on one side and Pakistan on the other. Neither are exactly what you might describe as "free and fair" societies, and their governments have many reputations but I don't think honesty figures on the list for either.
Meanwhile the World Healh Organisation, clearly angry that the nuclear revelations have knocked bird flu off the frontpages, have found someone else in Vietnam who has apparently died after getting too close to chickens, taking the worldwide death toll from this latest killer disease to a rather pathetic 19. They are still however offering stern advice about the threat of a pandemic.
I'm not sure which if three are less credible.
IMITATION IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY
And so I can announce that following the example of Simon, who inspired me to have a go at this blogging thing, and more importantly showed me how to set it all up, there is another little charioteer on the way, due in september. There is a long way to go yet but looking good so far.
And so I can announce that following the example of Simon, who inspired me to have a go at this blogging thing, and more importantly showed me how to set it all up, there is another little charioteer on the way, due in september. There is a long way to go yet but looking good so far.
AUSSIE DRUG CHEAT BACK IN ACTION
OK - it may be a bit over the top, but it's interesting that the aussies are always the first to jump up and down and cry foul when anyone else is caught taking "banned substances", demanding life bans all round, but are noticeably more lenient when it is one of their own!
Shane Warne returns today from a 1 yr ban for taking a banned diuretic. This is the same Shane Warne who admitted accepting cash from bookies (along with Mark Waugh), supposedly giving pitch and weather info in return (does anyone believe that? why would they pay for public info?) - the same offence for which many in India, Sri Lanka, Pakistan and South Africa were rightly banned for life.
Fortunately for England we have been so bad for so long that there was no real chance of anyone offering any of our players cash for info or to underperform. They have been sure-fire losers for years and show no signs of breaking the habits of a lifetime.
OK - it may be a bit over the top, but it's interesting that the aussies are always the first to jump up and down and cry foul when anyone else is caught taking "banned substances", demanding life bans all round, but are noticeably more lenient when it is one of their own!
Shane Warne returns today from a 1 yr ban for taking a banned diuretic. This is the same Shane Warne who admitted accepting cash from bookies (along with Mark Waugh), supposedly giving pitch and weather info in return (does anyone believe that? why would they pay for public info?) - the same offence for which many in India, Sri Lanka, Pakistan and South Africa were rightly banned for life.
Fortunately for England we have been so bad for so long that there was no real chance of anyone offering any of our players cash for info or to underperform. They have been sure-fire losers for years and show no signs of breaking the habits of a lifetime.
ONLY IN AMERICA...
I couldn't make this up.
There's nothing like a little religious intolerance to help spread goodwill and understanding!
I couldn't make this up.
There's nothing like a little religious intolerance to help spread goodwill and understanding!
THE SIX NATIONS RUGBY CHAMPIONSHIP IS ONLY DAYS AWAY
This saturday sees the start of the only Rugby competition in the world to get close to the World Cup in terms of skill, commitment, competition and rivalry. The World Cup showed that the southern hemisphere's "basketball" version of the competition has reduced their international competitiveness rather than enhance it, with the emphasis on a free-flowing game and endless tries at the expense of the rules meaning that the basics have been forgotten.
The favourites this year for the Six Nations are England and France, who meet in the last round at the end of March in a shamelessly rigged fixture list, but Ireland and Wales showed in the World Cup they are more than capable of playing the game superbly, but struggle to maintain it for 80 minutes. If either side click then there could be some surprise results. Expect Scotland and Italy to be competing for last place - and please, Oh Lord, let Scotland come last. Only an England Grand Slam would give me more satisfaction.
And now to this weekends games.
England have wielded the axe to a World Cup winning side, and are fielding what could be the most attacking team they have ever named. If it comes off expect Italy to be staring at at least a 50 point beating. Robinson at centre, Balshaw at full-back, Gomarsall at scrum-half. I can hardly wait....
Scotland should be stuffed by the Welsh. On recent form they are nowhere near to being competitive.
The pick of the weekend's games though is France v Ireland in Paris. Ireland are missing some big names, especially the now-retired Keith Wood, but hopefully should still give France one hell of a game.
This is just about the only time when I actually miss Mud Island. This, and when the England cricket team walk out at Lords full of hope on day 1 of the Test Match before being absolutely thrashed by whoever happens to be coming through that year, are the only things I miss. There is nothing like a trip to Dublin or Paris or Twickenham to watch a Six Nations game followed by a frenzy of celebration / commiseration with the opposing fans.... On the other hand we do have the Seven's which fills a similar role in the calendar more than adequately.
Let the games begin....
This saturday sees the start of the only Rugby competition in the world to get close to the World Cup in terms of skill, commitment, competition and rivalry. The World Cup showed that the southern hemisphere's "basketball" version of the competition has reduced their international competitiveness rather than enhance it, with the emphasis on a free-flowing game and endless tries at the expense of the rules meaning that the basics have been forgotten.
The favourites this year for the Six Nations are England and France, who meet in the last round at the end of March in a shamelessly rigged fixture list, but Ireland and Wales showed in the World Cup they are more than capable of playing the game superbly, but struggle to maintain it for 80 minutes. If either side click then there could be some surprise results. Expect Scotland and Italy to be competing for last place - and please, Oh Lord, let Scotland come last. Only an England Grand Slam would give me more satisfaction.
And now to this weekends games.
England have wielded the axe to a World Cup winning side, and are fielding what could be the most attacking team they have ever named. If it comes off expect Italy to be staring at at least a 50 point beating. Robinson at centre, Balshaw at full-back, Gomarsall at scrum-half. I can hardly wait....
Scotland should be stuffed by the Welsh. On recent form they are nowhere near to being competitive.
The pick of the weekend's games though is France v Ireland in Paris. Ireland are missing some big names, especially the now-retired Keith Wood, but hopefully should still give France one hell of a game.
This is just about the only time when I actually miss Mud Island. This, and when the England cricket team walk out at Lords full of hope on day 1 of the Test Match before being absolutely thrashed by whoever happens to be coming through that year, are the only things I miss. There is nothing like a trip to Dublin or Paris or Twickenham to watch a Six Nations game followed by a frenzy of celebration / commiseration with the opposing fans.... On the other hand we do have the Seven's which fills a similar role in the calendar more than adequately.
Let the games begin....
Monday, February 09, 2004
NORTH KOREA
The North Korean regime has been kept going for years by generosity and charity from the West. Like many African countries over the years (current top of the list are Zimbabwe and Somalia), this dictatorship would probably have disappeared long ago if the misguided generosity of the West did not keep the population alive. It now seems that this aid is finally running out. It's appalling that it has to happen, but if they treated their own people better to start with then it wouldn't be necessary in the first place. Yes unfortunately people will die, but perhaps it will help remove the regime if the people do become disaffected and turn on their leaders. Perhaps fewer may die in the long run.
The North Korean regime has been kept going for years by generosity and charity from the West. Like many African countries over the years (current top of the list are Zimbabwe and Somalia), this dictatorship would probably have disappeared long ago if the misguided generosity of the West did not keep the population alive. It now seems that this aid is finally running out. It's appalling that it has to happen, but if they treated their own people better to start with then it wouldn't be necessary in the first place. Yes unfortunately people will die, but perhaps it will help remove the regime if the people do become disaffected and turn on their leaders. Perhaps fewer may die in the long run.
AUSTRALIANS
Sadly I have no idea how to link / copy this so I shall have to type it out. Fortunately it's a slow day!
"BUT I'M LUCKY TO BE HERE"
A Darwin man told yesterday how his left arm was amputated after being bitten nine times by a deadly snake.
Gordon Lyons said he almost died after his heart stopped three times on the operating table at Royal Darwin Hospital.
He spent seven weeks in a coma and was kept alive with a dialysis machine and ventilator after a king brown bit his left arm two months ago.
Mr Lyons, who has still not regained movement in his legs, said doctors revived him three times on the operating table.
He said: "I'm lucky to be here right now"
But I still can't believe my arm's been chopped off just for one snake. I still have my life and I guess that's the most important thing."
Mr Lyons said he was bitten by the snake, considered to be one of the most venomous, after he picked it up from the side of the road near Litchfield.
Mr Lyons, who admitted he was drunk at the time, said he and a mate had been driving from Mandorah to Darwin when they saw it.
He said: "I remembered the guys at the Mandorah Pub wanted something to put in their huge fish tank.
"But I made the stupid mistake of grabbing it with my left hand because I was holding a beer in my right one. I had its head in my hand but it got loose and grabbed the web of my left hand ... it's fangs were that big it ripped my hand open.
"I tore it off me and put it in a plastic bag and threw it in the back of the car.
"For some stupid reason I stuck my hand back in the bag, and it must have smelled blood, and it bit me another eight times."
Mr Lyons said he began vomiting and suffering diarrhoea "about three seconds later".
He said: "My mate was trying to keep me awake by whacking me in the head and pouring beer on me."
Mr Lyons said his last memory was passing out covered in blood at the Noonamah Hotel moments before being taken by ambulance to the Royal Darwin Hospital.
R.D.H. specialist physician Bart Currie said the venom has caused severe damage to Mr Lyons muscles, which led to his arm turn black and becoming "dead".
Mr Currie said: "Of all the snake bites in australia I'm aware of, this man is the sickest to have ever survived
and the stupidest... Sort of like Crocodile Dundee, only incompetent.
Sadly I have no idea how to link / copy this so I shall have to type it out. Fortunately it's a slow day!
"BUT I'M LUCKY TO BE HERE"
A Darwin man told yesterday how his left arm was amputated after being bitten nine times by a deadly snake.
Gordon Lyons said he almost died after his heart stopped three times on the operating table at Royal Darwin Hospital.
He spent seven weeks in a coma and was kept alive with a dialysis machine and ventilator after a king brown bit his left arm two months ago.
Mr Lyons, who has still not regained movement in his legs, said doctors revived him three times on the operating table.
He said: "I'm lucky to be here right now"
But I still can't believe my arm's been chopped off just for one snake. I still have my life and I guess that's the most important thing."
Mr Lyons said he was bitten by the snake, considered to be one of the most venomous, after he picked it up from the side of the road near Litchfield.
Mr Lyons, who admitted he was drunk at the time, said he and a mate had been driving from Mandorah to Darwin when they saw it.
He said: "I remembered the guys at the Mandorah Pub wanted something to put in their huge fish tank.
"But I made the stupid mistake of grabbing it with my left hand because I was holding a beer in my right one. I had its head in my hand but it got loose and grabbed the web of my left hand ... it's fangs were that big it ripped my hand open.
"I tore it off me and put it in a plastic bag and threw it in the back of the car.
"For some stupid reason I stuck my hand back in the bag, and it must have smelled blood, and it bit me another eight times."
Mr Lyons said he began vomiting and suffering diarrhoea "about three seconds later".
He said: "My mate was trying to keep me awake by whacking me in the head and pouring beer on me."
Mr Lyons said his last memory was passing out covered in blood at the Noonamah Hotel moments before being taken by ambulance to the Royal Darwin Hospital.
R.D.H. specialist physician Bart Currie said the venom has caused severe damage to Mr Lyons muscles, which led to his arm turn black and becoming "dead".
Mr Currie said: "Of all the snake bites in australia I'm aware of, this man is the sickest to have ever survived
and the stupidest... Sort of like Crocodile Dundee, only incompetent.
PLACES I HAVE BEEN...
Hope this works...
create your own visited country map
or write about it on the open travel guide
In case anyone cares, I have been to the countries in red. Long way to go yet, though a lot of the places left are not actually places I would want to go to!
Hope this works...
create your own visited country map
or write about it on the open travel guide
In case anyone cares, I have been to the countries in red. Long way to go yet, though a lot of the places left are not actually places I would want to go to!
BACK TO SINGAPORE...
A couple of thoughts on inconsistencies in Singapore that came to me over the weekend...
Sitting in the back of car without your seat belt on is illegal, but having 15 Malaysians/Indonesians in the back of your pick-up truck while you weave your way down a 4 lane highway at 80 km/h is OK?
Oral sex between consenting adults in the privacy of their own home is illegal "unless it leads to penetrative sex", but prostitution is OK? (and no Mrs Chariot, I didn't check this personally.)
I should have asked Lee Kwan Yew about these during our "gala" dinner, though I suspect that might have led to an abrupt cessation of paycheques...
A couple of thoughts on inconsistencies in Singapore that came to me over the weekend...
Sitting in the back of car without your seat belt on is illegal, but having 15 Malaysians/Indonesians in the back of your pick-up truck while you weave your way down a 4 lane highway at 80 km/h is OK?
Oral sex between consenting adults in the privacy of their own home is illegal "unless it leads to penetrative sex", but prostitution is OK? (and no Mrs Chariot, I didn't check this personally.)
I should have asked Lee Kwan Yew about these during our "gala" dinner, though I suspect that might have led to an abrupt cessation of paycheques...
THE MOTORING SECTION - an occasional series of rants about appalling Hong Kong driving and drivers.
I expect this to be futile since we are talking about a Saab driver, and anyone stupid enough to drive a Saab is probably incapable of taking on board any form of advice / info, but i'll give it a go. If anyone knows the driver of a gold Saab 9-5, reg HV8387, will you please pass on the following.
It is ok to do more than 30km/h, particularly on a long straight stretch of road.
It is NOT necessary to brake to 10km/h before every tiny turn in the road.
It is NOT necessary to come to a dead halt every time a bus comes in the opposite direction. The bus is on the opposite side of the road and will NOT hit you. That is what the white lines on the road are for - to keep opposing traffic from hitting each other.
I expect this to be futile since we are talking about a Saab driver, and anyone stupid enough to drive a Saab is probably incapable of taking on board any form of advice / info, but i'll give it a go. If anyone knows the driver of a gold Saab 9-5, reg HV8387, will you please pass on the following.
It is ok to do more than 30km/h, particularly on a long straight stretch of road.
It is NOT necessary to brake to 10km/h before every tiny turn in the road.
It is NOT necessary to come to a dead halt every time a bus comes in the opposite direction. The bus is on the opposite side of the road and will NOT hit you. That is what the white lines on the road are for - to keep opposing traffic from hitting each other.
THE WEEKEND....
SATURDAY
Chores. After a tiring week in Singapore I managed to get some sleep finally on Friday night / Saturday morning. Finally rose at about 10.30 when I was presented with a gurgling 7mth old. Spent the day doing chores. Nothing worth noting I'm afraid, although we did take delivery of our new TV cabinet thingy. Looks great, just needs a 50inch plasma to go with it now...
SUNDAY
WEATHER MOANS (I am English after all)
I am looking out of our office window this morning and I can see for miles. There is not a cloud in the sky and there is bright sunshine everywhere. Where the bloody hell was this when I needed it yesterday? I spent the day sailing. I crew on a boat that normally races on Saturday afternoons in HK harbour, but this weekend as a special treat we spent the whole of Sunday racing off the bottom of Lamma Island amongst the parked container ships. It was miserable. 9 deg, grey cloud, rain that varied between spitting (very appropriate for HK) and torrential, waves that broke over the boat. I had 2 layers of waterproofs on and still ended up soaked to the skin. This type of weather was the reason I never sailed in the UK, and came to HK in the first place.
Memo to self. Next time weather looks crap, feign illness / injury. Actually I think that may be my final outing. It's become a chore rather than a pleasure, and I'm sick of being near the back of the fleet!
Then last night watched the Cider House Rules. Actually quite enjoyed it despite the lack of any notable form of action, but why-oh-why did Michael Caine have to try to do an American/Irish accent? Everyone knows Michael Caine can only play 1 role, and that is being Michael Caine. He should never, ever attempt anything else as it is outside his abilities and just makes him look ridiculous.
SATURDAY
Chores. After a tiring week in Singapore I managed to get some sleep finally on Friday night / Saturday morning. Finally rose at about 10.30 when I was presented with a gurgling 7mth old. Spent the day doing chores. Nothing worth noting I'm afraid, although we did take delivery of our new TV cabinet thingy. Looks great, just needs a 50inch plasma to go with it now...
SUNDAY
WEATHER MOANS (I am English after all)
I am looking out of our office window this morning and I can see for miles. There is not a cloud in the sky and there is bright sunshine everywhere. Where the bloody hell was this when I needed it yesterday? I spent the day sailing. I crew on a boat that normally races on Saturday afternoons in HK harbour, but this weekend as a special treat we spent the whole of Sunday racing off the bottom of Lamma Island amongst the parked container ships. It was miserable. 9 deg, grey cloud, rain that varied between spitting (very appropriate for HK) and torrential, waves that broke over the boat. I had 2 layers of waterproofs on and still ended up soaked to the skin. This type of weather was the reason I never sailed in the UK, and came to HK in the first place.
Memo to self. Next time weather looks crap, feign illness / injury. Actually I think that may be my final outing. It's become a chore rather than a pleasure, and I'm sick of being near the back of the fleet!
Then last night watched the Cider House Rules. Actually quite enjoyed it despite the lack of any notable form of action, but why-oh-why did Michael Caine have to try to do an American/Irish accent? Everyone knows Michael Caine can only play 1 role, and that is being Michael Caine. He should never, ever attempt anything else as it is outside his abilities and just makes him look ridiculous.
MORE RUGBY (You can never have enough)
Neil Back has been dropped by England!!! Woodward is definitely a driven man. He tells everyone to make sure they are available for selecation and then drops one of England's longest-serving and most loyal players. Backy is 35 now so the chances of him getting back into the squad look remote. I think it's a bit harsh to drop him without giving him the chance to "retire" gracefully but, but Woodward has always said he picks on form not emotion, and is true to his word.
On the plus side, that means Backy and Jonno will both be available for Tigers during the 6 Nations, and boy do we need them!
Neil Back has been dropped by England!!! Woodward is definitely a driven man. He tells everyone to make sure they are available for selecation and then drops one of England's longest-serving and most loyal players. Backy is 35 now so the chances of him getting back into the squad look remote. I think it's a bit harsh to drop him without giving him the chance to "retire" gracefully but, but Woodward has always said he picks on form not emotion, and is true to his word.
On the plus side, that means Backy and Jonno will both be available for Tigers during the 6 Nations, and boy do we need them!
WOODWARD TO LEAD LIONS
As expected, Sir Clive Woodward was named as the Coach of the British and Irish Lions for their tour to New Zealand. Not a surprise to anyone I suppose. I just hope it doesn't distract him from his role with England.
I haven't been able to find any news yet on a confirmed fixture list for the tour, but will keep looking, with the number for Cathay Pacific always close at hand...
As expected, Sir Clive Woodward was named as the Coach of the British and Irish Lions for their tour to New Zealand. Not a surprise to anyone I suppose. I just hope it doesn't distract him from his role with England.
I haven't been able to find any news yet on a confirmed fixture list for the tour, but will keep looking, with the number for Cathay Pacific always close at hand...
Friday, February 06, 2004
STOP PRESS
Lions news. The formal announcement confirming Woodwards appointment and the itinerary will probably be made while I'm in the air, but first thing tomorrow I shall set to organising that vital "business" trip to NZ for next year. Does anyone know anyone I can see in Dunedin?
Lions news. The formal announcement confirming Woodwards appointment and the itinerary will probably be made while I'm in the air, but first thing tomorrow I shall set to organising that vital "business" trip to NZ for next year. Does anyone know anyone I can see in Dunedin?
MORE SINGAPORE. I'm never drinking again...
Firstly - apologies for yesterdays silence. I couldn't find a convenient spot, with a convenient p.c., to log in. Am now sitting at Changi airport with about an hour till the flight home.
It has certainly been an interesting trip! Having often derided Singapore for being unbelievably dull I can confirm there is life after all. In fact it is going to take the weekend to recover. There were some old acquaintances from London in town for the same event and several beers were consumed on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights. The takings in BQ in Boat Quay must have gone through the roof, and the Post Bar in the Fullerton, which I think may be the most expensive bar in the world, had a great few days. Thank God the company is paying.
And they had certainly pulled out all the stops for this pan-asian conference, even managing to persuade Singapore's founding father (effectively) and guiding light for so many years, Lee Kwan Yew, to speak at a dinner. Sadly his speech turned out to be the not-very-inspired thoughts of a clearly old man, and the heavy sighing and breathing that accompanied the speech made most of us wonder whether we would inadvertantly turn out to have been there to witness his last, but he battled through and then did a Q & A session which was much more enlightening. He had three main thoughts which deserve mention.
1. The upcoming U.S Elections - He was concerned that failing to elect a "strong" leader would send a message to terrorists worldwide that the U.S. did not have the stomach for a fight. There is only 1 way to interpret that given that almost all the serious democratic contenders are openly either anti-war on terrorism. It is certainly not a point I have considered when thinking about the US elections, and it is a valid one. I shall have to ponder it once I have dried out before making further comment, though I expect Attila the Gun was straight on the phone to Republican HQ telling them to add that to George W's campaign slogans
2. India - Increasingly people are talking about India as "the next China" - i.e embracing capitalism and taking advantage of their low cost base to fuel spectacular economic growth. India has disadvantages in the form of religious tensions, but also has many advantages over China in thwe form a clear rule of law, a long-established democratic tradition, and english as an official language. This last for example has allowed many U.K. companies to transfer call centres and technology centres to India at huge cost savings to themselves. He did say India had struggled in the past through over-regulation and central planning. Coming from Singapore I think that is a bit cheeky at best!
3. Taiwan - China's position on claiming sovereignty over Taiwan is "cut in granite" to quote the great man. Now this I do not doubt. But I do wonder why they bother? They had the chance to take Taiwan 50 years ago and missed it. Now Taiwan is a rich, independant state perfectly capable of defending itself and also guaranteed by treaty to being defended by the U.S. also. China should just let it go. The boat has sailed, the horse has bolted and any other suitable cliche. Time to move on boys....
And that's about all I can remember. It's all a bit of a blur, though no doubt bits and pieces will come back to me over the next few days, some of their own accord, some through being reminded by others. I shall give a fuller account when my head is clearer and my hands steadier.
Now where's that bloody mary...
Firstly - apologies for yesterdays silence. I couldn't find a convenient spot, with a convenient p.c., to log in. Am now sitting at Changi airport with about an hour till the flight home.
It has certainly been an interesting trip! Having often derided Singapore for being unbelievably dull I can confirm there is life after all. In fact it is going to take the weekend to recover. There were some old acquaintances from London in town for the same event and several beers were consumed on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights. The takings in BQ in Boat Quay must have gone through the roof, and the Post Bar in the Fullerton, which I think may be the most expensive bar in the world, had a great few days. Thank God the company is paying.
And they had certainly pulled out all the stops for this pan-asian conference, even managing to persuade Singapore's founding father (effectively) and guiding light for so many years, Lee Kwan Yew, to speak at a dinner. Sadly his speech turned out to be the not-very-inspired thoughts of a clearly old man, and the heavy sighing and breathing that accompanied the speech made most of us wonder whether we would inadvertantly turn out to have been there to witness his last, but he battled through and then did a Q & A session which was much more enlightening. He had three main thoughts which deserve mention.
1. The upcoming U.S Elections - He was concerned that failing to elect a "strong" leader would send a message to terrorists worldwide that the U.S. did not have the stomach for a fight. There is only 1 way to interpret that given that almost all the serious democratic contenders are openly either anti-war on terrorism. It is certainly not a point I have considered when thinking about the US elections, and it is a valid one. I shall have to ponder it once I have dried out before making further comment, though I expect Attila the Gun was straight on the phone to Republican HQ telling them to add that to George W's campaign slogans
2. India - Increasingly people are talking about India as "the next China" - i.e embracing capitalism and taking advantage of their low cost base to fuel spectacular economic growth. India has disadvantages in the form of religious tensions, but also has many advantages over China in thwe form a clear rule of law, a long-established democratic tradition, and english as an official language. This last for example has allowed many U.K. companies to transfer call centres and technology centres to India at huge cost savings to themselves. He did say India had struggled in the past through over-regulation and central planning. Coming from Singapore I think that is a bit cheeky at best!
3. Taiwan - China's position on claiming sovereignty over Taiwan is "cut in granite" to quote the great man. Now this I do not doubt. But I do wonder why they bother? They had the chance to take Taiwan 50 years ago and missed it. Now Taiwan is a rich, independant state perfectly capable of defending itself and also guaranteed by treaty to being defended by the U.S. also. China should just let it go. The boat has sailed, the horse has bolted and any other suitable cliche. Time to move on boys....
And that's about all I can remember. It's all a bit of a blur, though no doubt bits and pieces will come back to me over the next few days, some of their own accord, some through being reminded by others. I shall give a fuller account when my head is clearer and my hands steadier.
Now where's that bloody mary...
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
SINGAPORE
Ok. I admit it. I was wrong. It is actually 30 deg with a chance of rain, not 32. But I think it was still a pretty good forecast. In fact in my next incarnation I might come back as a Singaporean meteorologist. Got to be the easiest job in the world.
The story so far...
After exhaustive (and exhausting) research last night conducted by a small band of intrepid explorers of whom yours truly was one, and carried out with no thought for self on behalf of the small (and probably dwindling) readership of this blog, I can report that Singapore shuts somewhere between 2am and 2.30am. I'm not exactly sure of the time as by this stage it was difficult to focus on the annoyingly small hands on my watch, but I'm pretty certain it was about then. At the time this was very frustrating and there was much cursing amongst our small gang at the restrictive Singaporean licencing laws. How much easier Hong Kong is with it's 1 simple law - bars are allowed to stay open until the last person drops. The cold light of the 8am alarm call however revealed that perhaps this is not such a bad law after all, and perhaps they should even consider moving the closing time forward, preferably to shortly after dinner. It has been a loooooonnnnngggggg day at the conference attempting to concentrate but I think I succeeded.
It is now approaching 6.30pm and I am off for more research - this time the quest is sushi. I shall report back tomorrow....
Ok. I admit it. I was wrong. It is actually 30 deg with a chance of rain, not 32. But I think it was still a pretty good forecast. In fact in my next incarnation I might come back as a Singaporean meteorologist. Got to be the easiest job in the world.
The story so far...
After exhaustive (and exhausting) research last night conducted by a small band of intrepid explorers of whom yours truly was one, and carried out with no thought for self on behalf of the small (and probably dwindling) readership of this blog, I can report that Singapore shuts somewhere between 2am and 2.30am. I'm not exactly sure of the time as by this stage it was difficult to focus on the annoyingly small hands on my watch, but I'm pretty certain it was about then. At the time this was very frustrating and there was much cursing amongst our small gang at the restrictive Singaporean licencing laws. How much easier Hong Kong is with it's 1 simple law - bars are allowed to stay open until the last person drops. The cold light of the 8am alarm call however revealed that perhaps this is not such a bad law after all, and perhaps they should even consider moving the closing time forward, preferably to shortly after dinner. It has been a loooooonnnnngggggg day at the conference attempting to concentrate but I think I succeeded.
It is now approaching 6.30pm and I am off for more research - this time the quest is sushi. I shall report back tomorrow....
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
32 DEGREES WITH A CHANCE OF RAIN...
And so this afternoon I am off to Singapore for the rest of the week for work. I can already hear the pilot as we come into land - "the weather is 32 degrees with a chance of rain". Is it ever NOT 32 degrees with a chance of rain?
On the downside, it's Singapore - overly clean and spectacularly dull at the best of times - even my mother said she wanted to throw some rubbish aoround in Singapore to make it look more lived-in. And it's nauseatingly over-bougainvillea'ed. I quite like the odd flowering plant dotted about, but Singapore's obesession with putting bougainvillea on every spare piece of ground is totally over-the-top. Plays hell with my hayfever too!
On the upside - I'll be able to avoid what would otherwise no doubt be minute analysis by Genghis and Attila of every statement and result coming out of the 7 primaries and caucuses (should that be cauci?) taking place overnight in the States. Both will be at the conference with me but as they will be locked in a room with 250 other delegates, and have limited access to CNN (news for americans, about americans, by americans) their ability to bore everyone else to death with their political analysis will be severely limited.
I shall endeavour to post the odd snippet here over the next few days, assuming I can work out how to post from another computer and can remember my own login details!
And so this afternoon I am off to Singapore for the rest of the week for work. I can already hear the pilot as we come into land - "the weather is 32 degrees with a chance of rain". Is it ever NOT 32 degrees with a chance of rain?
On the downside, it's Singapore - overly clean and spectacularly dull at the best of times - even my mother said she wanted to throw some rubbish aoround in Singapore to make it look more lived-in. And it's nauseatingly over-bougainvillea'ed. I quite like the odd flowering plant dotted about, but Singapore's obesession with putting bougainvillea on every spare piece of ground is totally over-the-top. Plays hell with my hayfever too!
On the upside - I'll be able to avoid what would otherwise no doubt be minute analysis by Genghis and Attila of every statement and result coming out of the 7 primaries and caucuses (should that be cauci?) taking place overnight in the States. Both will be at the conference with me but as they will be locked in a room with 250 other delegates, and have limited access to CNN (news for americans, about americans, by americans) their ability to bore everyone else to death with their political analysis will be severely limited.
I shall endeavour to post the odd snippet here over the next few days, assuming I can work out how to post from another computer and can remember my own login details!
WARDROBE MALFUNCTION
If the by now infamous "wardrobe malfunction" (what an inspired description - whoever came up with that should win a prize) wasn't supposed to happen, then why was Ms Jacksons top held together by what appears to have been nothing more than velcro? The piece that was removed by Justin Timberlake appears to have come off very easily, without actually tearing anything, and leaving a conveniently sized and shaped hole behind. I certainly couldn't just tear a piece exactly the right size and shape out an ordinary cotton shirt, let alone the leather jacket / shirt thing Ms Jackson was wearing.
I can't believe neither MTV nor CBS knew it was coming. Just look at all the free publicity they've had.
Alternatively perhaps the WHO organised it so that CNN would have something else to report on other than the fact that we are apparently all going die from bird-flu despite all the evidence to the contrary.
If the by now infamous "wardrobe malfunction" (what an inspired description - whoever came up with that should win a prize) wasn't supposed to happen, then why was Ms Jacksons top held together by what appears to have been nothing more than velcro? The piece that was removed by Justin Timberlake appears to have come off very easily, without actually tearing anything, and leaving a conveniently sized and shaped hole behind. I certainly couldn't just tear a piece exactly the right size and shape out an ordinary cotton shirt, let alone the leather jacket / shirt thing Ms Jackson was wearing.
I can't believe neither MTV nor CBS knew it was coming. Just look at all the free publicity they've had.
Alternatively perhaps the WHO organised it so that CNN would have something else to report on other than the fact that we are apparently all going die from bird-flu despite all the evidence to the contrary.
ANIMAL CRUELTY
quite apart from the treatment of farm / food animals in Asia, coming here from Europe means you occasionally see things that we would describe as animal cruelty but are seen as perfectly acceptable here - for example - keeping large dogs in 500 sq ft flats on the 38th floor of a tower block and never taking them out for walk, or locking a 3 month old puppy on a balcony for 18 hours a day and coming out and hitting it every time it barked / whined / yelped as happened with our 2 rescue dogs. But there is 1 thing that is common here that I fell is indescribable cruelty.
It is well known the chinese love to keep caged birds. They are supposed to bring good luck and are easy to keep as they stay in their cages which is handy in a small flat. This in itself is not what I think is cruel. There are plenty of budgies and canaries in cages in Europe, though I wouldn't have 1 myself. What I think IS cruel is the chinese habit of taking their caged birds for a walk in the country parks in the evenings and at weekends. Imagine the poor bird. There it is, in a cage, never able to really stretch it's wings and never having the chance to fly free, being taken round a park shown the wide open spaces it yearns for, all the things it will never be able to touch and places it will never be able to go to, probably with all the wild birds taunting it (you know how cruel birds can be). It must be the ultimate torture.
quite apart from the treatment of farm / food animals in Asia, coming here from Europe means you occasionally see things that we would describe as animal cruelty but are seen as perfectly acceptable here - for example - keeping large dogs in 500 sq ft flats on the 38th floor of a tower block and never taking them out for walk, or locking a 3 month old puppy on a balcony for 18 hours a day and coming out and hitting it every time it barked / whined / yelped as happened with our 2 rescue dogs. But there is 1 thing that is common here that I fell is indescribable cruelty.
It is well known the chinese love to keep caged birds. They are supposed to bring good luck and are easy to keep as they stay in their cages which is handy in a small flat. This in itself is not what I think is cruel. There are plenty of budgies and canaries in cages in Europe, though I wouldn't have 1 myself. What I think IS cruel is the chinese habit of taking their caged birds for a walk in the country parks in the evenings and at weekends. Imagine the poor bird. There it is, in a cage, never able to really stretch it's wings and never having the chance to fly free, being taken round a park shown the wide open spaces it yearns for, all the things it will never be able to touch and places it will never be able to go to, probably with all the wild birds taunting it (you know how cruel birds can be). It must be the ultimate torture.
HOW THE MIGHTY ARE FALLEN
Leicester Tigers have sacked Dean Richards, their coach of seven years, and before that iconic number 8 for Leicester and England (he was a policeman during the amateur days and was an integral part of the England pack famously described by the one and only Bill Mclaren as "festooned with constabulary"). When he played Leicester still used letters rather than numbers on their shirts to denote positions - his happened to be "G" - as far as most of the Welford Road faithful were concerned it stood for God.
On the face of it it looks cruel. During his 7 years Leicester won 4 league titles and 2 European Cups, but they have struggled this season, are out of the running for any silverware and even have the humiliation of looking over their shoulders to see the black hole of relegation not far behind, though it will come to that.
I think the reality though is that the foundations for Leicesters winning run of recent years were laid earlier on by Bob Dwyer, who was ousted in a player-led rebellion after 3 years of rebuilding a team that had been consistently second fiddle to much-hated rivals Bath. It was Dwyer who brought consistency to the club. Leivcester already had a great pack, their traditional strength, but he brought in players such as Joel Stransky and Austin Healey (love him or hate him, he is a great player) and recognised the potential of palyers like Geordan Murphy, who we hae been missing so much this season. Before his arrival the backs had been laborious and results had turned around the forwards power and ability to grind down an opposition pack. with a new back line, and an alternative to the rolling maul, suddenly Leicester were scoring tries and winning games they would previously have lost.
I think the truth is that Richards inheritied a team that was just coming to the peak, had a few good years with it, but has been shown to be lacking when the team started to break up as players moved on or retired. Games got closer, the opposition caught up, and this season it has all come tumbling down around him.
I don't like to see his reign ending this way - after 23 years for the club I think they could have found a way for him to save face - at least call it a resignation - but I think it was inevitable.
Leicester Tigers have sacked Dean Richards, their coach of seven years, and before that iconic number 8 for Leicester and England (he was a policeman during the amateur days and was an integral part of the England pack famously described by the one and only Bill Mclaren as "festooned with constabulary"). When he played Leicester still used letters rather than numbers on their shirts to denote positions - his happened to be "G" - as far as most of the Welford Road faithful were concerned it stood for God.
On the face of it it looks cruel. During his 7 years Leicester won 4 league titles and 2 European Cups, but they have struggled this season, are out of the running for any silverware and even have the humiliation of looking over their shoulders to see the black hole of relegation not far behind, though it will come to that.
I think the reality though is that the foundations for Leicesters winning run of recent years were laid earlier on by Bob Dwyer, who was ousted in a player-led rebellion after 3 years of rebuilding a team that had been consistently second fiddle to much-hated rivals Bath. It was Dwyer who brought consistency to the club. Leivcester already had a great pack, their traditional strength, but he brought in players such as Joel Stransky and Austin Healey (love him or hate him, he is a great player) and recognised the potential of palyers like Geordan Murphy, who we hae been missing so much this season. Before his arrival the backs had been laborious and results had turned around the forwards power and ability to grind down an opposition pack. with a new back line, and an alternative to the rolling maul, suddenly Leicester were scoring tries and winning games they would previously have lost.
I think the truth is that Richards inheritied a team that was just coming to the peak, had a few good years with it, but has been shown to be lacking when the team started to break up as players moved on or retired. Games got closer, the opposition caught up, and this season it has all come tumbling down around him.
I don't like to see his reign ending this way - after 23 years for the club I think they could have found a way for him to save face - at least call it a resignation - but I think it was inevitable.
GEEK OVERLOAD
Now I like new toys as much as the next man... MP3 players, phones that take photos, Discmans, Palm Pilots, even a Blog - I've been suckered into them all. But I think this guy is taking the technology thing too far.
Now I like new toys as much as the next man... MP3 players, phones that take photos, Discmans, Palm Pilots, even a Blog - I've been suckered into them all. But I think this guy is taking the technology thing too far.
Monday, February 02, 2004
HELP DESK UPDATE
After being passed around 3 "Help Desks" I finally gave up and spent 15 minutes playing around with the damn machine until I fixed it myself. Probably missed some business so the opportunity cost probably outweighs the saving of having me do it myself instead of having a decent help team, but no doubt some bean-counter somewehere is patting himself on the back for reducing our support staff numbers.
After being passed around 3 "Help Desks" I finally gave up and spent 15 minutes playing around with the damn machine until I fixed it myself. Probably missed some business so the opportunity cost probably outweighs the saving of having me do it myself instead of having a decent help team, but no doubt some bean-counter somewehere is patting himself on the back for reducing our support staff numbers.
HELP DESKS
What a misnomer - with the exception of a few of our techie guys who are great, the rest should have a new number and be listed under Sit On Our Backsides And Pass The Problem Around Until You Give Up And Go Away Desk.
All I want is someone to come and try to get our fax machine to pick up incoming calls. It can't be that hard.
What a misnomer - with the exception of a few of our techie guys who are great, the rest should have a new number and be listed under Sit On Our Backsides And Pass The Problem Around Until You Give Up And Go Away Desk.
All I want is someone to come and try to get our fax machine to pick up incoming calls. It can't be that hard.
BIRD FLU - TOTAL DEATHS NOW 12
Bird flu virus claims more lives
Again, to put this in perspective, the most-affected countries where this disease has appeared...
Thailand has 63 million people
Vietnam has 81 million people
Indonesia has 220 million people
China has 1,289 million people.
I would suggest that there are a lot bigger killers out there than bird flu.
I'm sorry but this is still a long way away from scaring me, despite the WHO's best efforts. It will clearly have an impact economically though. I had lunch today with 2 australian clients passing through on their way to London. Both refused to eat chicken or duck despite Hong Kong having no bird flu cases, and the WHO stating that cooked meat is totally safe. If it goes on for long then the tourists will start to stay away and we are back in the SARS scenario. I predict more people will die from the economic hardship needlessly created by the WHO's scaremongering than by the virus itself.
Bird flu virus claims more lives
Again, to put this in perspective, the most-affected countries where this disease has appeared...
Thailand has 63 million people
Vietnam has 81 million people
Indonesia has 220 million people
China has 1,289 million people.
I would suggest that there are a lot bigger killers out there than bird flu.
I'm sorry but this is still a long way away from scaring me, despite the WHO's best efforts. It will clearly have an impact economically though. I had lunch today with 2 australian clients passing through on their way to London. Both refused to eat chicken or duck despite Hong Kong having no bird flu cases, and the WHO stating that cooked meat is totally safe. If it goes on for long then the tourists will start to stay away and we are back in the SARS scenario. I predict more people will die from the economic hardship needlessly created by the WHO's scaremongering than by the virus itself.
I can't remember who it was who was mentioning a "ring of fire" after a trip to Jo Jo Mess on a recent post, but whoever it is, this might appeal...
'Ring of Fire' headed to Preparation H ads2004-01-30 11:46 (New York)
NASHVILLE, Jan. 30 (UPI) -- Johnny Cash's classic "Ring of Fire" may soon be
heard on Preparation H ads, in a twist to the song's meaning that the co-writer
thinks is hilarious.
Merle Kilgore, who wrote the classic country song with the late June Carter
Cash, said the coincidence is that he used to make hemorrhoid jokes about the
song when he performed it onstage during his 20 years on the road, Nashville's
Tennessean reported Friday.
"I'd say, 'Ladies and gentlemen, I want to give credit where credit is due. I
dedicate this song to the makers of Preparation H,'" Kilgore said. "And they
would just fall out. So when the song publisher called and told me about it, I
said, 'I can't believe it!'"
TV producer Sula Miller of Big Grin Productions in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., is
the mastermind behind the song's new life.
The idea came to her when she heard "Ring of Fire" on the radio at a time when
she herself was struggling with the medical condition in question.
The actual inspiration behind the song was the passion between Johnny and June
Carter Cash in the early days of their romance.
'Ring of Fire' headed to Preparation H ads2004-01-30 11:46 (New York)
NASHVILLE, Jan. 30 (UPI) -- Johnny Cash's classic "Ring of Fire" may soon be
heard on Preparation H ads, in a twist to the song's meaning that the co-writer
thinks is hilarious.
Merle Kilgore, who wrote the classic country song with the late June Carter
Cash, said the coincidence is that he used to make hemorrhoid jokes about the
song when he performed it onstage during his 20 years on the road, Nashville's
Tennessean reported Friday.
"I'd say, 'Ladies and gentlemen, I want to give credit where credit is due. I
dedicate this song to the makers of Preparation H,'" Kilgore said. "And they
would just fall out. So when the song publisher called and told me about it, I
said, 'I can't believe it!'"
TV producer Sula Miller of Big Grin Productions in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., is
the mastermind behind the song's new life.
The idea came to her when she heard "Ring of Fire" on the radio at a time when
she herself was struggling with the medical condition in question.
The actual inspiration behind the song was the passion between Johnny and June
Carter Cash in the early days of their romance.
SIZE DOESN'T MATTER - IT'S OFFICAL
"An Iowa man whose wife testified his penis was too small to be seen from 35 feet away now faces jail for indecent exposure.
Doug Neece, 41, has been on trial for three charges of indecent exposure, the Quad City Times reported Friday.
Part of his defense entailed having his wife testify that he is not well-endowed enough for a female postal worker to have seen his penis from about 35 feet. That did not appear too convincing to the Scott County jury that took five hours to convict him."
I have nothing to add to this story...
"An Iowa man whose wife testified his penis was too small to be seen from 35 feet away now faces jail for indecent exposure.
Doug Neece, 41, has been on trial for three charges of indecent exposure, the Quad City Times reported Friday.
Part of his defense entailed having his wife testify that he is not well-endowed enough for a female postal worker to have seen his penis from about 35 feet. That did not appear too convincing to the Scott County jury that took five hours to convict him."
I have nothing to add to this story...
PEACE AND QUIET
Attila and Genghis, my 2 american colleagues, are no-shows so far this morning. I think they are at the American Club watching the Superbowl. As a result there have been no rows, no threats of violence, and most importantly, no politics so far today. It's wonderful. Sadly I'm sure normal service will be resumed later, especially with "Super Tuesday" tomorrow (though what's so "super" about it is a bit of a mystery to those of us uninitiated in the murky world of the American political process - and before anyone has a go at me, I think all political processes are murky, not just the american one)
Attila and Genghis, my 2 american colleagues, are no-shows so far this morning. I think they are at the American Club watching the Superbowl. As a result there have been no rows, no threats of violence, and most importantly, no politics so far today. It's wonderful. Sadly I'm sure normal service will be resumed later, especially with "Super Tuesday" tomorrow (though what's so "super" about it is a bit of a mystery to those of us uninitiated in the murky world of the American political process - and before anyone has a go at me, I think all political processes are murky, not just the american one)
MORE FROM THE MIDDLE EAST
As if on cue, a cpolleague who has just returned from a business trip to the Middle East shows me a headline he tore out from a Kuwaiti newspaper...
"KUWAIT GOES EASY ON FAMILY VISAS
Expat women allowed to bring in only disabled husbands."
I kid you not. Could anyone make that up?
Sometimes I think that the middle-eastern view of the world can't be as skewed as everyone says. Perhaps they're misunderstood? Perhaps they just have a very bad PR company? Then you get a headline like that....
As if on cue, a cpolleague who has just returned from a business trip to the Middle East shows me a headline he tore out from a Kuwaiti newspaper...
"KUWAIT GOES EASY ON FAMILY VISAS
Expat women allowed to bring in only disabled husbands."
I kid you not. Could anyone make that up?
Sometimes I think that the middle-eastern view of the world can't be as skewed as everyone says. Perhaps they're misunderstood? Perhaps they just have a very bad PR company? Then you get a headline like that....
MORE DEATH AND DESTRUCTION IN THE MIDDLE EAST
First up today - Irbil, northern Iraq. Muslim extremists now seem to be increasingly turning on other muslims as improved intelligence amongst western countries makes attacks in europe or the States more difficult. 2 suspected Al-Qaeda operatives took advantage of low security on the first day of the Eid religious holiday at offices of the main Kurdish political parties and simultaneously detonated bombs strapped around their waists. At least 56 people are dead. It seems their main complaint is that Kurdish muslims are not extreme enough and are accused of working with the States against muslim interests.
I've always thought the best way to persuade people to join your cause is to bomb the hell out of them, don't you agree?
Secondly - Mecca and the Hajj pilgrimage. 244 dead in a stampede at the Hajj pilgrimage. Saudi authorities said "it is God's will" . If their God's idea of thanking people for travelling hundreds or thousands of miles to participate in a pilgrimage in honour of him (unlikely to be "her" given their views on equality I think) is to have them tramppled to death by other believers, then I'm glad he's not my God! Imagine if you did something he didn't like?
The more I try to understand the muslim point of view, and their view of the world, the less sense it makes.
First up today - Irbil, northern Iraq. Muslim extremists now seem to be increasingly turning on other muslims as improved intelligence amongst western countries makes attacks in europe or the States more difficult. 2 suspected Al-Qaeda operatives took advantage of low security on the first day of the Eid religious holiday at offices of the main Kurdish political parties and simultaneously detonated bombs strapped around their waists. At least 56 people are dead. It seems their main complaint is that Kurdish muslims are not extreme enough and are accused of working with the States against muslim interests.
I've always thought the best way to persuade people to join your cause is to bomb the hell out of them, don't you agree?
Secondly - Mecca and the Hajj pilgrimage. 244 dead in a stampede at the Hajj pilgrimage. Saudi authorities said "it is God's will" . If their God's idea of thanking people for travelling hundreds or thousands of miles to participate in a pilgrimage in honour of him (unlikely to be "her" given their views on equality I think) is to have them tramppled to death by other believers, then I'm glad he's not my God! Imagine if you did something he didn't like?
The more I try to understand the muslim point of view, and their view of the world, the less sense it makes.
Sunday, February 01, 2004
PANIC, PANIC, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.....
Yes it's the World Health Organisation at it again. Apparently the bird-flu outbreak is "slipping out of control" and we are on the edge of the abyss, potentially looking at the end of humankind.
Just a quick reality check here - so far this disease has killed EIGHT people. That's it. EIGHT. Now I know that it can't be nice to have a friend or relative die from this disease, but eight deaths does not strike me as the end of the world. Also if it can only be caught from live poultry then what are these people doing to their chickens to catch it? Perhaps the gene pool is better off without people who get that close to chickens?
What is a lot scarier is the news today that over 50% of all patients in hospital in South Africa are HIV positive. And South Africa has a much lower rate of infection that neighbouring countries such as Botswana. Southern Africa is facing depopulation on a massive scale, and the WHO is worried about sneezing chickens.
On the plus side though we may be able to get cheap flights and holidays again soon, just like the good old days of SARS.
Yes it's the World Health Organisation at it again. Apparently the bird-flu outbreak is "slipping out of control" and we are on the edge of the abyss, potentially looking at the end of humankind.
Just a quick reality check here - so far this disease has killed EIGHT people. That's it. EIGHT. Now I know that it can't be nice to have a friend or relative die from this disease, but eight deaths does not strike me as the end of the world. Also if it can only be caught from live poultry then what are these people doing to their chickens to catch it? Perhaps the gene pool is better off without people who get that close to chickens?
What is a lot scarier is the news today that over 50% of all patients in hospital in South Africa are HIV positive. And South Africa has a much lower rate of infection that neighbouring countries such as Botswana. Southern Africa is facing depopulation on a massive scale, and the WHO is worried about sneezing chickens.
On the plus side though we may be able to get cheap flights and holidays again soon, just like the good old days of SARS.
SUNDAY
It's about 11.30 on Sunday morning. About the time the day used to start before I dicsovered the joys of fatherhood (he's coming up to 7 months old) and dog-ownership (not my idea - I blame her indoors). I can't wait till he becomes a stroppy teenager and just wants to lie in bed all day. As long as he does it quietly it sounds perfect to me - I certainly won't be ordering him up and out, in fact I may lock the door to make sure he stays there.
Anyway on to a story which distressed me so much I coouldn't bring myself to mention it yesterday - the cruel defeat of Leicester Tigers at the hands of the villainous Frenchmen (and 1 Italian/Argentinian) from Stade Francais. As feared our back line wasn't up to the job despite looking good initially, and missing 5 penalties out of 6 highlights how much we are missing Tim Stimpson at full back. We got a couple of early scores, but then the french clicked into gear and we had no answer. A sad way for Neil Back to mark his 300th appearance for the club.
How the mighty are fallen. From all-conquering masters of European rugby to making up the numbers in about 2 seasons. My only hope is that it shows the growing strength of European rugby and rising standards in the club game now that the professional game has bedded down, and hopefully means the North can maintain a hold on the world cup at the expense of the Southeren Hemisphere.
There is now not much left for Tigers to play for in the season - we are stuck in the middle of the table and out of the domestic cup competition, so all that is left is trying to ensure a high enough finish to get back into european competition next year.
Bugger....
It's about 11.30 on Sunday morning. About the time the day used to start before I dicsovered the joys of fatherhood (he's coming up to 7 months old) and dog-ownership (not my idea - I blame her indoors). I can't wait till he becomes a stroppy teenager and just wants to lie in bed all day. As long as he does it quietly it sounds perfect to me - I certainly won't be ordering him up and out, in fact I may lock the door to make sure he stays there.
Anyway on to a story which distressed me so much I coouldn't bring myself to mention it yesterday - the cruel defeat of Leicester Tigers at the hands of the villainous Frenchmen (and 1 Italian/Argentinian) from Stade Francais. As feared our back line wasn't up to the job despite looking good initially, and missing 5 penalties out of 6 highlights how much we are missing Tim Stimpson at full back. We got a couple of early scores, but then the french clicked into gear and we had no answer. A sad way for Neil Back to mark his 300th appearance for the club.
How the mighty are fallen. From all-conquering masters of European rugby to making up the numbers in about 2 seasons. My only hope is that it shows the growing strength of European rugby and rising standards in the club game now that the professional game has bedded down, and hopefully means the North can maintain a hold on the world cup at the expense of the Southeren Hemisphere.
There is now not much left for Tigers to play for in the season - we are stuck in the middle of the table and out of the domestic cup competition, so all that is left is trying to ensure a high enough finish to get back into european competition next year.
Bugger....