OFF TO MUD ISLAND
So here I am in the executive club lounge. Bizarrely enough it's the busiest place in the airport. That's the problem with AsiaMiles and cheap air travel - every Tom, Dick and Harry has an exec club card these days, or has upgraded himself using AsiaMiles, and the only real space in the airport is out there in the murky underworld of the "normal"departure area. Ah well. Back in one week.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
The Democratic party copnvention is now 11 minutes old, and, thanks to the wonder of live CNN, Attila is watching and commenting on every single mooment. He is driving me insane. Do Americans not understand that no-one else gives a flying fcuk about some pointless convention? I don't go about the Labour or Conservative party annual shindigs so why can't they just leave the rest of us in peace.
This thing goes on for 4 days for gods sake. Never has the prospect of cattle class to Mud Island tonight seemed so appealing.
The Democratic party copnvention is now 11 minutes old, and, thanks to the wonder of live CNN, Attila is watching and commenting on every single mooment. He is driving me insane. Do Americans not understand that no-one else gives a flying fcuk about some pointless convention? I don't go about the Labour or Conservative party annual shindigs so why can't they just leave the rest of us in peace.
This thing goes on for 4 days for gods sake. Never has the prospect of cattle class to Mud Island tonight seemed so appealing.
Monday, July 26, 2004
WHO ATE ALL THE PIES?
I’m off to Mud Island on Tuesday night for a wedding on Friday at which I am doing joint-best man duty. I decided over the weekend that I had better dig out my wedding kit in preparation – check for holes etc. I last wore this kit for my own wedding 3 ½ years ago, since when many things have changed. Apart from now being married, I have also somehow managed to move from the UK to HK, and along the way pick up 1 ¾ children and 2 dogs (the 3/4 part is the reason Mrs C won't be joining me on this jaunt). I thought, however, that one thing had remained unchanged – my waist size. How cruelly I was disabused of that notion.
On Friday night I put on, or tried to put on, the trousers of my morning suit. Big mistake. There was a good 1 ½ inches of stomach still showing at the point where the clip is supposed to meet the clasp. I did get them closed but there’s certainly no way I could sit down with them in that state.
How did this happen?? I blame made-to-measure clothing. Since coming here every new suit or shirt I have bought has been made-to-measure, mostly by Mr. William Cheng of Kowloon. Clearly he has been lying! Every time I go over I say “Ithink I’m abut the same size as before” and he says “I’ll just check”, then, haing done the measurements again, says “yes, about the same”. Obviously, in the interest of not losing a customer, he omits the rest of the sentence, which would be “in your dreams fatso”.
Now I don’t blame him. I’d do the same. And his suits and shirts are great. But it has left me with a bit of a problem. There are two solutions. Either get a new pair of trousers, or lose 1 ½ inches off my gut.
Not yet having made the big Four Oh I am still subject to the belief that I am a young, fit, healthy individual in the prime of life, so on Saturday morning set out to lose said 1 ½ inches (I should add here that I played squash on Friday lunchtime so I had already done a bit of exercise on Friday)
So Friday night – sit-ups, press-ups, dig out the weights that had been propping a door open for the last 2 years.
Saturday morning - 2 ½ hours of jogging / hiking (depending on the slope) round Pok Fu Lam country park, , up to High West, round The Peak and back home.
Saturday afternoon – Ploughing up and down the pool for a bit (embarrassingly short time before I was in danger of drowning) followed by sit-ups, press-ups and the weights again.
Sunday morning – 20 mins or so up and down the pool while the little charioteer is asleep.
Sunday afternoon – 45 mins “brisk walking” with the dogs followed by another 20 mins in the pool. Then back to sit-ups, press-ups and the weights.
Result this morning?
I am still 1 ½ inches away from closing the trousers comfortably, but I am now in so much pain, and so weakened by the frenzied activity of the weekend, that I can’t take them off the hanger without wincing in pain and then barely have the strength to hold them. In fact I have seen glaciers move more quickly than I did this morning when the alarm went off. I wanted to get out of bed but it took a while for the message to reach muscles that were still in shock from the previous days.
Still – I won’t give up. Off for a swim at lunch today, a jog tonight and hopefully a game of squash tomorrow lunchtime before I leave.
Just in case I don’t make it however, anyone know if there’s a Moss Bros in Cambridge?
I’m off to Mud Island on Tuesday night for a wedding on Friday at which I am doing joint-best man duty. I decided over the weekend that I had better dig out my wedding kit in preparation – check for holes etc. I last wore this kit for my own wedding 3 ½ years ago, since when many things have changed. Apart from now being married, I have also somehow managed to move from the UK to HK, and along the way pick up 1 ¾ children and 2 dogs (the 3/4 part is the reason Mrs C won't be joining me on this jaunt). I thought, however, that one thing had remained unchanged – my waist size. How cruelly I was disabused of that notion.
On Friday night I put on, or tried to put on, the trousers of my morning suit. Big mistake. There was a good 1 ½ inches of stomach still showing at the point where the clip is supposed to meet the clasp. I did get them closed but there’s certainly no way I could sit down with them in that state.
How did this happen?? I blame made-to-measure clothing. Since coming here every new suit or shirt I have bought has been made-to-measure, mostly by Mr. William Cheng of Kowloon. Clearly he has been lying! Every time I go over I say “Ithink I’m abut the same size as before” and he says “I’ll just check”, then, haing done the measurements again, says “yes, about the same”. Obviously, in the interest of not losing a customer, he omits the rest of the sentence, which would be “in your dreams fatso”.
Now I don’t blame him. I’d do the same. And his suits and shirts are great. But it has left me with a bit of a problem. There are two solutions. Either get a new pair of trousers, or lose 1 ½ inches off my gut.
Not yet having made the big Four Oh I am still subject to the belief that I am a young, fit, healthy individual in the prime of life, so on Saturday morning set out to lose said 1 ½ inches (I should add here that I played squash on Friday lunchtime so I had already done a bit of exercise on Friday)
So Friday night – sit-ups, press-ups, dig out the weights that had been propping a door open for the last 2 years.
Saturday morning - 2 ½ hours of jogging / hiking (depending on the slope) round Pok Fu Lam country park, , up to High West, round The Peak and back home.
Saturday afternoon – Ploughing up and down the pool for a bit (embarrassingly short time before I was in danger of drowning) followed by sit-ups, press-ups and the weights again.
Sunday morning – 20 mins or so up and down the pool while the little charioteer is asleep.
Sunday afternoon – 45 mins “brisk walking” with the dogs followed by another 20 mins in the pool. Then back to sit-ups, press-ups and the weights.
Result this morning?
I am still 1 ½ inches away from closing the trousers comfortably, but I am now in so much pain, and so weakened by the frenzied activity of the weekend, that I can’t take them off the hanger without wincing in pain and then barely have the strength to hold them. In fact I have seen glaciers move more quickly than I did this morning when the alarm went off. I wanted to get out of bed but it took a while for the message to reach muscles that were still in shock from the previous days.
Still – I won’t give up. Off for a swim at lunch today, a jog tonight and hopefully a game of squash tomorrow lunchtime before I leave.
Just in case I don’t make it however, anyone know if there’s a Moss Bros in Cambridge?
Friday, July 23, 2004
THE IMPORTANT STUFF
The Palestinians are revolting (pun intended), the Israelis are still building their wall (quite right too in my view - the wall may be illegal but so is suicide bombing and I haven't heard much from the UN or EU on that!), the Sudanese are murdering each other, Taiwan is preparing for a Chinese invasion and the Iraqis have found the headless body of a westerner, but it's time to focus on the important stuff...
SPORT
CRICKET
A magnificent day yesterday for England at Lords. Listened to a fair bit last night thanks to the miracle of the web - Test Match Special was still as good as ever, with Aggers, Blowers and CMJ waffling on like a bunch of old farts and the cricket being purely incicental to the entire event. Magnificent. I think the only times I have ever actually missed Mud Island is when I Listen to the England cricket team playing at Lords or watch the rugby team are playing at Twickenham. Many a happy beer has been sunk at both venues....
But I digress. England finished day 1 at 391-2 (or 2-391 if you're Australian). What a performance. Centuries for Robert Key and Andrew Strauss, who shared a stand of 291, have put England in an unassailable position. From here the West Indies can only pray for rain (which will probably work knowing the English climate).
RUGBY
Tri-Nations time again - with NZ v South Africa kicking off at 3.30pm HK time. Having a South African wife, and therefore a half South African son, I suppose I should be supporting the Bokke, but secretly I'll be hoping for Kiwi win. They are an awesome side at present, clearly the best in the world, and besides my early experiences of meeting South Africans at sporting events just after the end of apartheid has left me bitter and twisted at what a buch of arrogant wankers they were and I'm finding it hard to shake that off, even though things have improved immeasurably since. Whatever happens though it should be a great game - one thing i have to give the Bokke is they don't give up so while they may not have the talent of the Kiwis they are very long on sheer guts which will get them a long way.
Have fun all. See you on Monday.
The Palestinians are revolting (pun intended), the Israelis are still building their wall (quite right too in my view - the wall may be illegal but so is suicide bombing and I haven't heard much from the UN or EU on that!), the Sudanese are murdering each other, Taiwan is preparing for a Chinese invasion and the Iraqis have found the headless body of a westerner, but it's time to focus on the important stuff...
SPORT
CRICKET
A magnificent day yesterday for England at Lords. Listened to a fair bit last night thanks to the miracle of the web - Test Match Special was still as good as ever, with Aggers, Blowers and CMJ waffling on like a bunch of old farts and the cricket being purely incicental to the entire event. Magnificent. I think the only times I have ever actually missed Mud Island is when I Listen to the England cricket team playing at Lords or watch the rugby team are playing at Twickenham. Many a happy beer has been sunk at both venues....
But I digress. England finished day 1 at 391-2 (or 2-391 if you're Australian). What a performance. Centuries for Robert Key and Andrew Strauss, who shared a stand of 291, have put England in an unassailable position. From here the West Indies can only pray for rain (which will probably work knowing the English climate).
RUGBY
Tri-Nations time again - with NZ v South Africa kicking off at 3.30pm HK time. Having a South African wife, and therefore a half South African son, I suppose I should be supporting the Bokke, but secretly I'll be hoping for Kiwi win. They are an awesome side at present, clearly the best in the world, and besides my early experiences of meeting South Africans at sporting events just after the end of apartheid has left me bitter and twisted at what a buch of arrogant wankers they were and I'm finding it hard to shake that off, even though things have improved immeasurably since. Whatever happens though it should be a great game - one thing i have to give the Bokke is they don't give up so while they may not have the talent of the Kiwis they are very long on sheer guts which will get them a long way.
Have fun all. See you on Monday.
SECOND BEST ADVERT THIS YEAR ON ASIAXPAT.COM
25. Canon v2 Digital Camera - BROKEN
(Posted: Jul. 22, 04)
I have a Canon v2 (2 megapixels) which my wife brought back after her holidays and its broken.
Past warranty period, and can't be bothered to get it fixed, because we've got another 3 megapixel camera anyway.
Don't know what's wrong with the camera, but I have the box, papers, all wires, receipt, etc.
You make the offer!
What is it about today that has brought the lunatics out?
25. Canon v2 Digital Camera - BROKEN
(Posted: Jul. 22, 04)
I have a Canon v2 (2 megapixels) which my wife brought back after her holidays and its broken.
Past warranty period, and can't be bothered to get it fixed, because we've got another 3 megapixel camera anyway.
Don't know what's wrong with the camera, but I have the box, papers, all wires, receipt, etc.
You make the offer!
What is it about today that has brought the lunatics out?
SUDAN
Kofi Annan says he thinks the UN may back moves to threaten Sudan with sanctions over the current atrocities in Darfur. Oooooh I bet they're scared now! The UN has had many high-profile successes with it's rhetoric and sanctions, including... ermmmm.... hmmmmmm.... can't think of any right now but I'm sure there were some.
And how is imposing sanctions on a coutnry with virtually no international trade going to help? Will they even notice? Sadly this will all come back to oil again. One of the main reasons there is fighting around the Darfur region is because it is oil rich, and the arab dominated governement in Khartoum is trying to drive the native african inhabitants out of the region rather than cut them a slice of the action.
Of course this means that governments around the world will publicly be saying how bad the situation is, while privately be signing drilling, refining and shipping deals left right and centre.
Plus ca change....
Kofi Annan says he thinks the UN may back moves to threaten Sudan with sanctions over the current atrocities in Darfur. Oooooh I bet they're scared now! The UN has had many high-profile successes with it's rhetoric and sanctions, including... ermmmm.... hmmmmmm.... can't think of any right now but I'm sure there were some.
And how is imposing sanctions on a coutnry with virtually no international trade going to help? Will they even notice? Sadly this will all come back to oil again. One of the main reasons there is fighting around the Darfur region is because it is oil rich, and the arab dominated governement in Khartoum is trying to drive the native african inhabitants out of the region rather than cut them a slice of the action.
Of course this means that governments around the world will publicly be saying how bad the situation is, while privately be signing drilling, refining and shipping deals left right and centre.
Plus ca change....
NEW ADDITION TO THE BLOGROLL
on the beach at the end of the world and for those of a more risque nature, you may want to follow the link on her blog to her other diary, "pillowbook" - thank you Simon for the tip....
on the beach at the end of the world and for those of a more risque nature, you may want to follow the link on her blog to her other diary, "pillowbook" - thank you Simon for the tip....
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Bigger breasts offered as perk to U.S. soldiers
NEW YORK, July 21 (Reuters) - The U.S. Army has long lured recruits with the slogan "Be All You Can Be," but now soldiers and their families can receive plastic surgery, including breast enlargements, on the taxpayers' dime.
The New Yorker magazine reports in its July 26th edition that members of all four branches of the U.S. military can get face-lifts, breast enlargements, liposuction and nose jobs for free -- something the military says helps surgeons practice their skills.
"Anyone wearing a uniform is eligible," Dr. Bob Lyons, chief of plastic surgery at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio told the magazine, which said soldiers needed the approval of their commanding officers to get the time off.
Between 2000 and 2003, military doctors performed 496 breast enlargements and 1,361 liposuction surgeries on soldiers and their dependents, the magazine said.
The magazine quoted an Army spokeswoman as saying, "the surgeons have to have someone to practice on."
"Someone to practice on"???? Since when are they likely to be required to do an emergency breast enlargement in a field hospital? I'm a bit of a MASH fan andI certainly don't remember Hawkeye, Trapper, or Honeycut being asked to perfom the procedure, though maybe Hotlips Hoolahan secretly got some treatment from Frank Burns.
And Genghis and Attila's tax dollars as they sit here in low-tax Hong Kong paying US taxes are helping to pay for this..... tee hee hee.
NEW YORK, July 21 (Reuters) - The U.S. Army has long lured recruits with the slogan "Be All You Can Be," but now soldiers and their families can receive plastic surgery, including breast enlargements, on the taxpayers' dime.
The New Yorker magazine reports in its July 26th edition that members of all four branches of the U.S. military can get face-lifts, breast enlargements, liposuction and nose jobs for free -- something the military says helps surgeons practice their skills.
"Anyone wearing a uniform is eligible," Dr. Bob Lyons, chief of plastic surgery at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio told the magazine, which said soldiers needed the approval of their commanding officers to get the time off.
Between 2000 and 2003, military doctors performed 496 breast enlargements and 1,361 liposuction surgeries on soldiers and their dependents, the magazine said.
The magazine quoted an Army spokeswoman as saying, "the surgeons have to have someone to practice on."
"Someone to practice on"???? Since when are they likely to be required to do an emergency breast enlargement in a field hospital? I'm a bit of a MASH fan andI certainly don't remember Hawkeye, Trapper, or Honeycut being asked to perfom the procedure, though maybe Hotlips Hoolahan secretly got some treatment from Frank Burns.
And Genghis and Attila's tax dollars as they sit here in low-tax Hong Kong paying US taxes are helping to pay for this..... tee hee hee.
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
A DAY OF ANNIVERSARIES
25th anniversary of Neil Armstrong's first step on the moon
Or did he....?
And it's my sisters birthday....
Someone please remind me to call her once Mud Island wakes up.
25th anniversary of Neil Armstrong's first step on the moon
Or did he....?
And it's my sisters birthday....
Someone please remind me to call her once Mud Island wakes up.
REVERSE AIR RAGE
Two flight attendants have attacked a passenger in an unprecedented case of reverse air-rage, according to Russia's leading airline.
An Aeroflot spokeswoman said the incident occurred after the passenger, named as Artyom Chernopup, said the men were drunk and not doing their job.
Russian media said the alleged victim left the plane with a black eye and reported the incident to the police.
Aeroflot said the crew and plane were contracted out from another company.
Spokeswoman Irina Dannenberg said the entire crew of the flight - from Moscow to the Siberian city of Nizhnevartovsk - had been suspended while the incident was investigated.
She said Aeroflot did not have enough aircraft and leased planes together with their crews from other companies.
The airline was now tightening controls over contracted staff, she added.
A Nizhnevartovsk airport representative told Izvestiya newspaper that a medical examination after the flight showed the cabin attendants were heavily intoxicated.
Another passenger told a forum on the avia.ru civil aviation website that the stewards distributed in-flight meals only when the plane started its descent, and managed to spill large quantities of food on the floor.
"At this point I noticed something was wrong," the passenger said. "Only about half the meals ended up on the tables or in the laps of passengers, the rest ended up on the floor.
"We left the plane with lunch-boxes crunching beneath our feet."
Correspondents say intoxicated passengers are common on Russian flights, but this incident was unprecedented.
Two flight attendants have attacked a passenger in an unprecedented case of reverse air-rage, according to Russia's leading airline.
An Aeroflot spokeswoman said the incident occurred after the passenger, named as Artyom Chernopup, said the men were drunk and not doing their job.
Russian media said the alleged victim left the plane with a black eye and reported the incident to the police.
Aeroflot said the crew and plane were contracted out from another company.
Spokeswoman Irina Dannenberg said the entire crew of the flight - from Moscow to the Siberian city of Nizhnevartovsk - had been suspended while the incident was investigated.
She said Aeroflot did not have enough aircraft and leased planes together with their crews from other companies.
The airline was now tightening controls over contracted staff, she added.
A Nizhnevartovsk airport representative told Izvestiya newspaper that a medical examination after the flight showed the cabin attendants were heavily intoxicated.
Another passenger told a forum on the avia.ru civil aviation website that the stewards distributed in-flight meals only when the plane started its descent, and managed to spill large quantities of food on the floor.
"At this point I noticed something was wrong," the passenger said. "Only about half the meals ended up on the tables or in the laps of passengers, the rest ended up on the floor.
"We left the plane with lunch-boxes crunching beneath our feet."
Correspondents say intoxicated passengers are common on Russian flights, but this incident was unprecedented.
THE LEGEND OF KING ARTHUR
As most people have probably spotted a new movie is about to hit the screens based on the supposed stoiry of King Arthur, the semi-mythical first King of England. Looks like it could be a good movie in the switch-your-brain-off-and-enjoy-the-action kind of a way.
On the back of the movie the English tourist industy, and in particular Cornwall, which, as far as I am aware, has always been the generally accepted birthplace and original haunt of Arthur, is gearing itself up in the hope of attracting a few feeble-minded movie buffs to blighty's muddy shores and parting them from their hard earned dosh.
As King Arthur and his legend lay siege to box offices around the world, conflict rages in the land of his birth.
For not only was Arthur Britain's saviour in the Dark Ages against invading Saxons, he also works wonders on the tourism earnings of depressed local economies -- and several are vying for his services.
The tale of Arthur, the sorcerer Merlin, and the quest for the Holy Grail has long been a staple of British schoolchildren.
Most were taught he was born of an illicit tryst between the English king Uther Pendragon and the wife of his rival Gorlois after Uther sneaked into Gorlois' Tintagel Castle high on Cornwall's craggy Atlantic cliffs.
"They say it was right here that Merlin magicked Uther into the likeness of Gorlois so he could sneak into the bed of his wife, Ygerna," Cornish expert Rob Tremain told Reuters from within the stronghold's slate walls.
"We're quite confident that this was Arthur's birthplace," he added.
Now however, the Scots and Welsh are trying to get in on the act. Not content with draining the English taxpayer of every last drop just to keep their feeble countries afloat, they now want to nick our King!
But a revolt is simmering north of the border in Scotland, according to author Alistair Moffat, whose book "Arthur the Lost Kingdoms" argues he was a Scot.
"The Cornish got seriously upset with me," he said. "A lot of the Cornish tourist industry depends on this."
Jerry Bruckheimer's movie, "King Arthur", has Arthur as a Romano-British mercenary, played by a stoic Clive Owen. He leads a band of knights against Celts in Scotland, helping the Roman Empire as it retreats from Britain.
Guinevere, played by Keira Knightley, persuades the knights to switch sides, joining her Celtic brethren against Saxon invaders as they rush to fill the power vacuum left by the Romans.
To coincide with the film's British release Scottish Borders Tourism has launched a campaign highlighting local Arthurian connections.
It places Arthur's fortress of Camelot at Roxburgh, a full 470 miles (756 km) away from the Cornish tourist board's preferred location near the town of Camelford in southwest England.
As further evidence to back up the Scottish claim, Moffat cites a 7th century poem found in Edinburgh, "The Gododdin", as the first reference to the warrior-king.
I'm sorry? Some poem written by a semi-literate scot in the 7th century while he was waiting for the invention of deep-fried Mars bar, deep-fried pizza and heart disease is supposed to prove he was scottish?
And now the sheepshaggers want a piece of the action..
Twelfth century poetry from the "Black Book of Carmarthen" describes Arthur as a Welsh warlord, says Steve Blake, director of the Centre for Arthurian Studies in North Wales.
References to the castle in Tintagel merely stem from confusion with the Welsh word Dindagol, meaning city on the headland, he says.
So the fact that there actually was a place called Tintagel is irrelevant and we're supposed to believe it is a corruption of Dindagol? Come on. And even if true, I don't care if a welsh word translates as "place where Arthur, Guinevere, Lancelot and a lot of knights all lived and sat around a round table" I still would refuse to accept it as any form of evidence. In fact anything in Welsh should be automatically dismissed as it is not a language so much as a phlegm-hurling contest.
To historians, however, the conflict and confusion serve to illustrate a much more sobering possibility.
Folk historian Juliette Wood says that when different regions lay claim to a legendary figure, it can often be taken as proof that the figure was more myth than actual history.
"This localisation of Arthur is the dead giveaway," she said. "In common with most academics, I don't think he was ever real."
Sadly this last bit is probably the truth, though why anyone would admit to being a "folk historian" is a complete mystery.
As most people have probably spotted a new movie is about to hit the screens based on the supposed stoiry of King Arthur, the semi-mythical first King of England. Looks like it could be a good movie in the switch-your-brain-off-and-enjoy-the-action kind of a way.
On the back of the movie the English tourist industy, and in particular Cornwall, which, as far as I am aware, has always been the generally accepted birthplace and original haunt of Arthur, is gearing itself up in the hope of attracting a few feeble-minded movie buffs to blighty's muddy shores and parting them from their hard earned dosh.
As King Arthur and his legend lay siege to box offices around the world, conflict rages in the land of his birth.
For not only was Arthur Britain's saviour in the Dark Ages against invading Saxons, he also works wonders on the tourism earnings of depressed local economies -- and several are vying for his services.
The tale of Arthur, the sorcerer Merlin, and the quest for the Holy Grail has long been a staple of British schoolchildren.
Most were taught he was born of an illicit tryst between the English king Uther Pendragon and the wife of his rival Gorlois after Uther sneaked into Gorlois' Tintagel Castle high on Cornwall's craggy Atlantic cliffs.
"They say it was right here that Merlin magicked Uther into the likeness of Gorlois so he could sneak into the bed of his wife, Ygerna," Cornish expert Rob Tremain told Reuters from within the stronghold's slate walls.
"We're quite confident that this was Arthur's birthplace," he added.
Now however, the Scots and Welsh are trying to get in on the act. Not content with draining the English taxpayer of every last drop just to keep their feeble countries afloat, they now want to nick our King!
But a revolt is simmering north of the border in Scotland, according to author Alistair Moffat, whose book "Arthur the Lost Kingdoms" argues he was a Scot.
"The Cornish got seriously upset with me," he said. "A lot of the Cornish tourist industry depends on this."
Jerry Bruckheimer's movie, "King Arthur", has Arthur as a Romano-British mercenary, played by a stoic Clive Owen. He leads a band of knights against Celts in Scotland, helping the Roman Empire as it retreats from Britain.
Guinevere, played by Keira Knightley, persuades the knights to switch sides, joining her Celtic brethren against Saxon invaders as they rush to fill the power vacuum left by the Romans.
To coincide with the film's British release Scottish Borders Tourism has launched a campaign highlighting local Arthurian connections.
It places Arthur's fortress of Camelot at Roxburgh, a full 470 miles (756 km) away from the Cornish tourist board's preferred location near the town of Camelford in southwest England.
As further evidence to back up the Scottish claim, Moffat cites a 7th century poem found in Edinburgh, "The Gododdin", as the first reference to the warrior-king.
I'm sorry? Some poem written by a semi-literate scot in the 7th century while he was waiting for the invention of deep-fried Mars bar, deep-fried pizza and heart disease is supposed to prove he was scottish?
And now the sheepshaggers want a piece of the action..
Twelfth century poetry from the "Black Book of Carmarthen" describes Arthur as a Welsh warlord, says Steve Blake, director of the Centre for Arthurian Studies in North Wales.
References to the castle in Tintagel merely stem from confusion with the Welsh word Dindagol, meaning city on the headland, he says.
So the fact that there actually was a place called Tintagel is irrelevant and we're supposed to believe it is a corruption of Dindagol? Come on. And even if true, I don't care if a welsh word translates as "place where Arthur, Guinevere, Lancelot and a lot of knights all lived and sat around a round table" I still would refuse to accept it as any form of evidence. In fact anything in Welsh should be automatically dismissed as it is not a language so much as a phlegm-hurling contest.
To historians, however, the conflict and confusion serve to illustrate a much more sobering possibility.
Folk historian Juliette Wood says that when different regions lay claim to a legendary figure, it can often be taken as proof that the figure was more myth than actual history.
"This localisation of Arthur is the dead giveaway," she said. "In common with most academics, I don't think he was ever real."
Sadly this last bit is probably the truth, though why anyone would admit to being a "folk historian" is a complete mystery.
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
CABLE TV AND SPORTS COVERAGE
Now that ESPN/STAR Sports is moving to Now Broadband TV it seems I have little choice but to follow them.
The woman at i-Cable seemd very confused when I informed her I was cancelling my contract because of the sports coverage and kept bleating on about them having the English Premier League rights so how could I leave. My protestations that...
a) my team are Leicester City who are no longer in the Premiership,
b) I want to watch rugby and/or cricket. These sports are no longer available on i-Cable so why on earth would I continue to pay for the service
c) Even if my team were in the Premiership I would rather stick pins in my eyes than stay up all night to watch 22 neanderthals hoof a ball about...
all seemed incomprehensible to her. Am I really the only person in HK who doesn't give a monkeys chuff about the Premiership (or Beckhams latest hairstyle)?
Anyway - looks like it's Now Broadband for me.
Has anyone tried it and got any comments, advice or tips?
Now that ESPN/STAR Sports is moving to Now Broadband TV it seems I have little choice but to follow them.
The woman at i-Cable seemd very confused when I informed her I was cancelling my contract because of the sports coverage and kept bleating on about them having the English Premier League rights so how could I leave. My protestations that...
a) my team are Leicester City who are no longer in the Premiership,
b) I want to watch rugby and/or cricket. These sports are no longer available on i-Cable so why on earth would I continue to pay for the service
c) Even if my team were in the Premiership I would rather stick pins in my eyes than stay up all night to watch 22 neanderthals hoof a ball about...
all seemed incomprehensible to her. Am I really the only person in HK who doesn't give a monkeys chuff about the Premiership (or Beckhams latest hairstyle)?
Anyway - looks like it's Now Broadband for me.
Has anyone tried it and got any comments, advice or tips?
Monday, July 19, 2004
THIS IS TOO SICK TO HAVE AN AMUSING TITLE.
11:13 19Jul2004 RTRS-Drunk Filipino nails wife's mouth shut, kills her
MANILA, July 19 (Reuters) - A drunken Filipino farmer nailed his wife's mouth shut and beat her to death in front of their children, then prepared breakfast for her the next day without realising he had killed her, police said on Monday.
Police called to the house of Rodolfo and Vilma Porras in the town of Manapla, in the central Philippines, on Saturday found the 40-year-old woman dead in her bed with one-inch (two cm) nails driven through her mouth and the back of both knees.
Police officer Eliseo Solaban said two of the couple's four children, a girl aged 10 and a boy of eight, told investigators their father beat their mother to death with an iron and drenched her with boiling water after coming home drunk.
The girl was still in shock, Solaban said by telephone.
Porras, 40, was on the run on Monday. The man awoke on the morning after Friday's killing and cooked breakfast as normal, then fled after realising his wife was dead, the policeman said.
"I've worked on shocking crimes before, but I can't hide how I feel about a man doing this to his wife," Solaban said.
11:13 19Jul2004 RTRS-Drunk Filipino nails wife's mouth shut, kills her
MANILA, July 19 (Reuters) - A drunken Filipino farmer nailed his wife's mouth shut and beat her to death in front of their children, then prepared breakfast for her the next day without realising he had killed her, police said on Monday.
Police called to the house of Rodolfo and Vilma Porras in the town of Manapla, in the central Philippines, on Saturday found the 40-year-old woman dead in her bed with one-inch (two cm) nails driven through her mouth and the back of both knees.
Police officer Eliseo Solaban said two of the couple's four children, a girl aged 10 and a boy of eight, told investigators their father beat their mother to death with an iron and drenched her with boiling water after coming home drunk.
The girl was still in shock, Solaban said by telephone.
Porras, 40, was on the run on Monday. The man awoke on the morning after Friday's killing and cooked breakfast as normal, then fled after realising his wife was dead, the policeman said.
"I've worked on shocking crimes before, but I can't hide how I feel about a man doing this to his wife," Solaban said.
ANTI-SEMITISM
France and Israel are at loggerheads since Israeli PM Ariel Sharon sugested Jews should leave France and move to Israel to escape anti-semitism.
Now I'm a total heathen when it comes to all religion. I've never really got my head round any of them, and I certainly can't understand why religions seem to hate each other so much.
So looking at this from the point of view of someone who doesn't really understand what all the fuss is about, is he really trying to suggest that it is safer for a Jew to be in Israel, surrounded by millions of people (some of whom are prepared to die in their efforts to attack and kill Jews) and sovereign nations (of which at least 1, Iran, is actively seeking nuclear weapons),who are openly sworn to the total destruction of Israel, than to be in France?
I know there was a whole saga years ago about some bloke called Dreyfus but really. Come on Ariel me old mate. Who do you think you are kidding?
France and Israel are at loggerheads since Israeli PM Ariel Sharon sugested Jews should leave France and move to Israel to escape anti-semitism.
Now I'm a total heathen when it comes to all religion. I've never really got my head round any of them, and I certainly can't understand why religions seem to hate each other so much.
So looking at this from the point of view of someone who doesn't really understand what all the fuss is about, is he really trying to suggest that it is safer for a Jew to be in Israel, surrounded by millions of people (some of whom are prepared to die in their efforts to attack and kill Jews) and sovereign nations (of which at least 1, Iran, is actively seeking nuclear weapons),who are openly sworn to the total destruction of Israel, than to be in France?
I know there was a whole saga years ago about some bloke called Dreyfus but really. Come on Ariel me old mate. Who do you think you are kidding?
RUGBY
New Zealand 16 Australia 7
What a game.
And how great to see a southern hemisphere game that didn't finish with some preposterous sixty-something to forty-something scoreline like in the Super 12 basketball
It was played in foul conditions - cold, windy and pouring with rain (like Leicester 9 months of the year), which probably marginally suited the All Blacks more than the Wallabies, though I doubt either side were exactly happy.
How the Wallabies held on to only lose by 9 points I will never know. Their defence was awesome. The All Blacks must have spent 50% of the game within 10 metres of the try-line but just couldn't get over to score, and finally were resorting to kicking at goal rather than their preferred line-out and drive options, until finally Howlett crossed the line.
Then when Mortlock got a break-away try to bring it back to a 6 point difference I had a horrible feeling the Aussies would somehow sneak it. Thankfully the Kiwis got another penalty and held on for a hugely deserved win.
Pacific Islanders 24 South Africa 38
Thanks to the wonders of Star Sports changing their scheduling without telling anyone my video missed the last 10 minutes of this game, but what I saw convinced me the Pacific Island team deserve to be taken seriously. They have given all 3 Tri Nations participants a huge run for their money and should be included in a remodelled 4 Nations in the future, or even a 5 Nations including Argentina. And each of the Pacific Island member countries should get a Super 12 team to provide some depth to their squads and ensure that come the World Cup they can still be competitive.
Of course it won't happen because then these players may opt to stay at home and not play their rugby for New Zealand or Australia, so clearly these 2 won't allow such a structure to develop, but wouldn't it be great if it did.
New Zealand 16 Australia 7
What a game.
And how great to see a southern hemisphere game that didn't finish with some preposterous sixty-something to forty-something scoreline like in the Super 12 basketball
It was played in foul conditions - cold, windy and pouring with rain (like Leicester 9 months of the year), which probably marginally suited the All Blacks more than the Wallabies, though I doubt either side were exactly happy.
How the Wallabies held on to only lose by 9 points I will never know. Their defence was awesome. The All Blacks must have spent 50% of the game within 10 metres of the try-line but just couldn't get over to score, and finally were resorting to kicking at goal rather than their preferred line-out and drive options, until finally Howlett crossed the line.
Then when Mortlock got a break-away try to bring it back to a 6 point difference I had a horrible feeling the Aussies would somehow sneak it. Thankfully the Kiwis got another penalty and held on for a hugely deserved win.
Pacific Islanders 24 South Africa 38
Thanks to the wonders of Star Sports changing their scheduling without telling anyone my video missed the last 10 minutes of this game, but what I saw convinced me the Pacific Island team deserve to be taken seriously. They have given all 3 Tri Nations participants a huge run for their money and should be included in a remodelled 4 Nations in the future, or even a 5 Nations including Argentina. And each of the Pacific Island member countries should get a Super 12 team to provide some depth to their squads and ensure that come the World Cup they can still be competitive.
Of course it won't happen because then these players may opt to stay at home and not play their rugby for New Zealand or Australia, so clearly these 2 won't allow such a structure to develop, but wouldn't it be great if it did.
Girlfriend 'hit with alligator'
A man in the US state of Florida was arrested after he allegedly used his pet alligator to hit his girlfriend.
David Havenner, 41, faces misdemeanour charges of battery and possession of an alligator, said the authorities.
Girlfriend Nancy Monico claimed he beat her with his fists and then grabbed the alligator and swung it at her as she tried to escape, said officials.
The three-foot (one metre) alligator, which had been kept in a bathtub, was handed to Florida wildlife officials.
"He threw [the alligator] at me," 39-year-old Ms Monico said on ABC News. "I don't think he knew what he was doing. He was just throwing it at me."
She also alleged Mr Havenner threw beer bottles at her at their home in Port Orange, central Florida, said the sheriff's spokesman Gary Davidson.
Mr Havenner's version of the story differed. According to the Associated Press, he told investigators Ms Monico bit his hand because she was upset they had run out of alcohol.
No comment.
A man in the US state of Florida was arrested after he allegedly used his pet alligator to hit his girlfriend.
David Havenner, 41, faces misdemeanour charges of battery and possession of an alligator, said the authorities.
Girlfriend Nancy Monico claimed he beat her with his fists and then grabbed the alligator and swung it at her as she tried to escape, said officials.
The three-foot (one metre) alligator, which had been kept in a bathtub, was handed to Florida wildlife officials.
"He threw [the alligator] at me," 39-year-old Ms Monico said on ABC News. "I don't think he knew what he was doing. He was just throwing it at me."
She also alleged Mr Havenner threw beer bottles at her at their home in Port Orange, central Florida, said the sheriff's spokesman Gary Davidson.
Mr Havenner's version of the story differed. According to the Associated Press, he told investigators Ms Monico bit his hand because she was upset they had run out of alcohol.
No comment.