ALERT THE MEDIA

As of 30 minutes ago I have completed my three year residency requirement in Hong Kong and so am now available for selection for both the Hong Kong Cricket team and the Hong Kong Rugby team.

If either team needs an unfit late-thirtysomething year old with a receding hairline to make up the numbers one afternoon please feel free to contact me. I am equally inept at both games and I am available most weekends, hangovers permitting.