APOLOGIES
For lack of posts. It's been very busy at work - lots of customers and enormous fromages in town for a big conference.
I'm off to Europe for some skiing StAnton style for a week abnd then a couple of days in Mud Island doing the friends and family run before returning to paradise just in time the C.N.Y. fireworks
Blogging will recommence sometime around 14 Feb
Be good while I'm away
Friday, January 21, 2005
STUPIDITY
Just when you thought people could not be more stupid....
Tel Aviv (dpa) - An Israeli who taught his pet parrot the name of his mistress now faces divorce - after the bird kept squawking it to his wife.
The wife grew suspicious when the parrot kept greeting her with the strange name, and hired a detective to unravel the mystery, the Israeli newspaper Maariv reported Thursday.
It said pictures taken by the detective were now being used as evidence in the divorce court, showing the husband and mistress in a compromising position - with the parrot right next to them.
The woman might not have forgiven the husband, but she forgave the pet, the report said - teaching it a new greeting. Now, whenever the husband appears, it says ``hello - and goodbye''.
What would possess him to teach it his mistresses name?
And even if he didn't teach it her name, and it just picked it up, couldn't he work out his wife might get suspicious and arrange an "accident" for the bird?
Just when you thought people could not be more stupid....
Tel Aviv (dpa) - An Israeli who taught his pet parrot the name of his mistress now faces divorce - after the bird kept squawking it to his wife.
The wife grew suspicious when the parrot kept greeting her with the strange name, and hired a detective to unravel the mystery, the Israeli newspaper Maariv reported Thursday.
It said pictures taken by the detective were now being used as evidence in the divorce court, showing the husband and mistress in a compromising position - with the parrot right next to them.
The woman might not have forgiven the husband, but she forgave the pet, the report said - teaching it a new greeting. Now, whenever the husband appears, it says ``hello - and goodbye''.
What would possess him to teach it his mistresses name?
And even if he didn't teach it her name, and it just picked it up, couldn't he work out his wife might get suspicious and arrange an "accident" for the bird?
Thursday, January 20, 2005
ASIAN TSUNAMIS
In a sure sign that finally journalists are running out of things to write about the Tsunami disaster, the back page of the main section of the SCMP is devoted to a "what if" scenario of a major earthquake near the Philippines generating a tsunami, and it's possible effects on Hong Kong.
It points out that there are no deep-seap pressure sensors or warning systems in the South China Sea and that Hong Kong's geography means the tsunami would gain height and destructive power as it came into Hong Kong and the harbour. There are two professors of something or other talking in earnest tones about how Sha Tin would be devestated (might be the best thing that ever happened to Sha Tin if you ask me but there you go) and the 1st and 2nd floor of buildings on HK island and Kowloon waterfronts would be inundated.
All quite chilling, if highly improbable.
And to be frank I'm not really that bothered because I work on the 48th floor of a building nowhere near the waterfront and live on The Peak.
So nahnahnahnah
In a sure sign that finally journalists are running out of things to write about the Tsunami disaster, the back page of the main section of the SCMP is devoted to a "what if" scenario of a major earthquake near the Philippines generating a tsunami, and it's possible effects on Hong Kong.
It points out that there are no deep-seap pressure sensors or warning systems in the South China Sea and that Hong Kong's geography means the tsunami would gain height and destructive power as it came into Hong Kong and the harbour. There are two professors of something or other talking in earnest tones about how Sha Tin would be devestated (might be the best thing that ever happened to Sha Tin if you ask me but there you go) and the 1st and 2nd floor of buildings on HK island and Kowloon waterfronts would be inundated.
All quite chilling, if highly improbable.
And to be frank I'm not really that bothered because I work on the 48th floor of a building nowhere near the waterfront and live on The Peak.
So nahnahnahnah
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Monday, January 17, 2005
THE REAL ENGLISH DICTIONARY
Once again, The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words (and leave it to the Post to search for new meanings). And the winners are....
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts
Thank you reader for that...
Once again, The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words (and leave it to the Post to search for new meanings). And the winners are....
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts
Thank you reader for that...
RANT
Much has been written on various blogs about the trials and tribulations of walking the streets in Hong Kong. Fumier in particular wrote a good piece if I remember correctly.
Well I am just back from a quick lunchtime shopping trip, never the most pleasant of tasks, which was made even more hellish than usual by the walkways being littered with all sort of human detritus. There were deranged old harridans, wandering all over the place like an American sailor (or Shaky) after a night out in Wan Chai, screaming at each other in Cantonese from a range of about 6 inches. There were great long lines of mainlanders, unsure how to deal with the miracle of escalators, and having successfully negotiated their ascent from, or descent to, street level, they were hobbling along, blindly following a woman waving a piece of yellow cloth attached to what appeared to be a stolen car aerial in almost total silence, wondering at the miracle that the Great Lychee is able to provide it’s citizens with electricity 24 hours a day, 365 days a year (unlike, for example, Shanghai-which-will-soon-overtake-Hong-Kong), with only the gentle rustle of man-made fabrics as they walked to give away their presence. And of course there were tourists. Everywhere. Standing stock still in the middle of the pavement and staring upwards in appreciative awe at the sight of the great monuments to mammon that have been constructed everywhere about Asia's World City.
These people are a nuisance at best, and during the lunchtime rush hour, when those of us with jobs to do and places to go to join the throng, they are a positive menace. Then it came to me. Just as I had been forced to nudge an old woman into the path of a bus in order to shut her up and let me pass I saw the light. It is so obvious.
There should be system whereby members of the community who are actively contributing economically to the society should get priority. A little like the congestion charge in London if you will, designed to keep “casual day-trippers” out of the centre of the city at it’s most crowded times.
But instead of forcing everyone to pay, there should be a system whereby those who are gainfully employed, and preferably have an income above a certain level, have a special pass allowing them to walk during peak hours. And then you could extend it further by having “VIP walking lanes” which only people who have paid over a certain threshold in tax will be allowed to use.
Clearly some allowance would have to be made for visitors actually shopping and thus contributing to Hong Kong, so those who can produce receipts for total sales above a certain value in say the previous hour should also be allowed to move freely at these times.
The benefits to this are endless. Apart obviously from clearing the walkways of riff-raff and freeing up space on the pavements for those of us whose taxes have actually paid for the damn thing. There would be a system of fines introduced for people found violating the rules, which would help to fund the budget deficit without the ludicrous idea of a sales tax. And if you make the entry level to the VIP Lanes high enough then in the warped minds of Hong Kong tycoons it would become a status symbol to be seen walking around Central during rush hour, getting them out of their BMWs and Mercedes and onto their feet, promoting health and reducing traffic congestion and pollution in one go.
And finally it would provide some much needed real work for Hong Kong’s finest, instead of forcing them to resort to arresting people who have dropped their doorkeys for littering.
Much has been written on various blogs about the trials and tribulations of walking the streets in Hong Kong. Fumier in particular wrote a good piece if I remember correctly.
Well I am just back from a quick lunchtime shopping trip, never the most pleasant of tasks, which was made even more hellish than usual by the walkways being littered with all sort of human detritus. There were deranged old harridans, wandering all over the place like an American sailor (or Shaky) after a night out in Wan Chai, screaming at each other in Cantonese from a range of about 6 inches. There were great long lines of mainlanders, unsure how to deal with the miracle of escalators, and having successfully negotiated their ascent from, or descent to, street level, they were hobbling along, blindly following a woman waving a piece of yellow cloth attached to what appeared to be a stolen car aerial in almost total silence, wondering at the miracle that the Great Lychee is able to provide it’s citizens with electricity 24 hours a day, 365 days a year (unlike, for example, Shanghai-which-will-soon-overtake-Hong-Kong), with only the gentle rustle of man-made fabrics as they walked to give away their presence. And of course there were tourists. Everywhere. Standing stock still in the middle of the pavement and staring upwards in appreciative awe at the sight of the great monuments to mammon that have been constructed everywhere about Asia's World City.
These people are a nuisance at best, and during the lunchtime rush hour, when those of us with jobs to do and places to go to join the throng, they are a positive menace. Then it came to me. Just as I had been forced to nudge an old woman into the path of a bus in order to shut her up and let me pass I saw the light. It is so obvious.
There should be system whereby members of the community who are actively contributing economically to the society should get priority. A little like the congestion charge in London if you will, designed to keep “casual day-trippers” out of the centre of the city at it’s most crowded times.
But instead of forcing everyone to pay, there should be a system whereby those who are gainfully employed, and preferably have an income above a certain level, have a special pass allowing them to walk during peak hours. And then you could extend it further by having “VIP walking lanes” which only people who have paid over a certain threshold in tax will be allowed to use.
Clearly some allowance would have to be made for visitors actually shopping and thus contributing to Hong Kong, so those who can produce receipts for total sales above a certain value in say the previous hour should also be allowed to move freely at these times.
The benefits to this are endless. Apart obviously from clearing the walkways of riff-raff and freeing up space on the pavements for those of us whose taxes have actually paid for the damn thing. There would be a system of fines introduced for people found violating the rules, which would help to fund the budget deficit without the ludicrous idea of a sales tax. And if you make the entry level to the VIP Lanes high enough then in the warped minds of Hong Kong tycoons it would become a status symbol to be seen walking around Central during rush hour, getting them out of their BMWs and Mercedes and onto their feet, promoting health and reducing traffic congestion and pollution in one go.
And finally it would provide some much needed real work for Hong Kong’s finest, instead of forcing them to resort to arresting people who have dropped their doorkeys for littering.
FRIDAY FROLIC - UPDATE - ANSWER AT BOTTOM OF POST
What do the following people have in common...
Tommy Lee
Tim Roth
Britney Spears
Drew Careey
Gail Porter
Davina McCall
Billy Connolly
Steve Tyler
Liv Tyler
Meg Matthews
Christina Aguilera
Janet Jackson
Feel free to leave guesses in the comments section.
Answer on Monday
UPDATE
The answer is.....
They all have a pierced nipple.
What do the following people have in common...
Tommy Lee
Tim Roth
Britney Spears
Drew Careey
Gail Porter
Davina McCall
Billy Connolly
Steve Tyler
Liv Tyler
Meg Matthews
Christina Aguilera
Janet Jackson
Feel free to leave guesses in the comments section.
Answer on Monday
UPDATE
The answer is.....
They all have a pierced nipple.
iPod
So this weekend I decided to step up and buy an iPod. Off I trotted on Saturday afternoon to Wan Chai Comp Centre. 8 shops later I can only conclude that Hong Kong has run out of iPods unless you want an iPod Photo which i can't see the point of - tiny screen which you can't see anything on and fair bit bigger than the standard one.
Looks like I'll have to wait a while.
So this weekend I decided to step up and buy an iPod. Off I trotted on Saturday afternoon to Wan Chai Comp Centre. 8 shops later I can only conclude that Hong Kong has run out of iPods unless you want an iPod Photo which i can't see the point of - tiny screen which you can't see anything on and fair bit bigger than the standard one.
Looks like I'll have to wait a while.
TIGERS MADE IT!!!
By the skin of our teeth we're through to the last 8 of the European Cup as one of the 2 best runners-up, thanks to Edinburgh's shock win over Perpignan (the Scots only win of the competition) - and now we have to face Leinster who have been in fine form.
Should be a cracker, though we'll probably never know thanks to the geniusses at ESPNStar and their sports programming. DICKHEADS!
By the skin of our teeth we're through to the last 8 of the European Cup as one of the 2 best runners-up, thanks to Edinburgh's shock win over Perpignan (the Scots only win of the competition) - and now we have to face Leinster who have been in fine form.
Should be a cracker, though we'll probably never know thanks to the geniusses at ESPNStar and their sports programming. DICKHEADS!
Friday, January 14, 2005
WEEKEND SPORT
On top of the continuing England v south Africa test match this weekend sees the final pool stage games in the Heineken European Rugby Cup.
This has been a particularly crappy day to end a week that started well then went rapidly downhill, but to distract the weary worker bee there are 13 teams still in contention for the remaining 7 places in the last 8 so there should be some really tense games with some major rugby heavyweights (sadly including Leicester) in serious danger of missing out on the knockout stages of Europes premier club rugby tournament.
Fortunately in Asia we have ESPNStar sports - "the world leader in sport" so they're bound to be showing some of these games live right?
Silly me - Saturday night Star is showing old tennis and on Sunday night "classic boxing", meanwhile ESPN is showing recorded Basketball on saturday night and old football on Sunday night.
What crap. Why do we pay for this shit?
I can't wait till more channels and sports see the light and go live direct to your p.c. thru broadband like the south african cricket so I can watch proper sport instead of people patting balls back to each other over a net or trying to hit some little white lump into a hole miles away.
On top of the continuing England v south Africa test match this weekend sees the final pool stage games in the Heineken European Rugby Cup.
This has been a particularly crappy day to end a week that started well then went rapidly downhill, but to distract the weary worker bee there are 13 teams still in contention for the remaining 7 places in the last 8 so there should be some really tense games with some major rugby heavyweights (sadly including Leicester) in serious danger of missing out on the knockout stages of Europes premier club rugby tournament.
Fortunately in Asia we have ESPNStar sports - "the world leader in sport" so they're bound to be showing some of these games live right?
Silly me - Saturday night Star is showing old tennis and on Sunday night "classic boxing", meanwhile ESPN is showing recorded Basketball on saturday night and old football on Sunday night.
What crap. Why do we pay for this shit?
I can't wait till more channels and sports see the light and go live direct to your p.c. thru broadband like the south african cricket so I can watch proper sport instead of people patting balls back to each other over a net or trying to hit some little white lump into a hole miles away.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT?
LOS ANGELES, Jan. 10 (UPI) -- To the horror of U.S. nutritionists, the Hardee's fast food chain is reporting higher sales based on its new mountainous 4-inch thick Monster Thickburger.
The burger contains two 1/3-pound Angus beef patties, four strips of bacon and three slices of cheese, and it comes slathered with a glob of mayonnaise and wrapped in a buttered bun. It costs $5.49 and has 1,420 calories and 107 grams of fat.
While the Center for Science in the Public Interest called it the "fast-food equivalent of a snuff film," top brass at Hardee's parent CKE Restaurants Inc., are crowing about its popularity, the Los Angeles Times said Monday.
"Sales results for this politically incorrect burger have been encouraging," Andrew Puzder, CKE's chief executive told Wall Street analysts after the big burger's introduction in mid-November.
Wednesday, when CKE reported December sales at Hardee's were up 5.8 percent year over year, Puzder credited the burger and "its audacity" for the jump.
But it's ok because I'm suer they all have a Diet Coke to wash it down.
"Fast-food equivalent of a snuff film" - great line. Wish I'd thought of it.
LOS ANGELES, Jan. 10 (UPI) -- To the horror of U.S. nutritionists, the Hardee's fast food chain is reporting higher sales based on its new mountainous 4-inch thick Monster Thickburger.
The burger contains two 1/3-pound Angus beef patties, four strips of bacon and three slices of cheese, and it comes slathered with a glob of mayonnaise and wrapped in a buttered bun. It costs $5.49 and has 1,420 calories and 107 grams of fat.
While the Center for Science in the Public Interest called it the "fast-food equivalent of a snuff film," top brass at Hardee's parent CKE Restaurants Inc., are crowing about its popularity, the Los Angeles Times said Monday.
"Sales results for this politically incorrect burger have been encouraging," Andrew Puzder, CKE's chief executive told Wall Street analysts after the big burger's introduction in mid-November.
Wednesday, when CKE reported December sales at Hardee's were up 5.8 percent year over year, Puzder credited the burger and "its audacity" for the jump.
But it's ok because I'm suer they all have a Diet Coke to wash it down.
"Fast-food equivalent of a snuff film" - great line. Wish I'd thought of it.
HARRY AND THE SWASTIKA
Everyone seems to be getting their knickers in a twist over the fact that Prince Harry dressed up as a Nazi at a fancy dress party.
I'd just like to make 3 points.
1. He has apologised.
2. He's only 20 - we all do stupid things at age 20 (and indeed at still do at well betond 20). Also WWII finished 40 years before he was born, so for his generation the whole thing is "olden days" and irrelevant.
3. He is basically German!
Everyone seems to be getting their knickers in a twist over the fact that Prince Harry dressed up as a Nazi at a fancy dress party.
I'd just like to make 3 points.
1. He has apologised.
2. He's only 20 - we all do stupid things at age 20 (and indeed at still do at well betond 20). Also WWII finished 40 years before he was born, so for his generation the whole thing is "olden days" and irrelevant.
3. He is basically German!
NEW P.C.
Well it's up and running.
Only 2 problems so far.
Firstly I can't get my MP3 player's software loaded as for some reason it's refusing to recognise the serial number. Perhaps this is the incentive to get an iPod?
Secondly, depite specifying a video card and confirming there was an audio card, so we could burn DVDs etc of the kids to send home to grandparents, it never occurred to the builder that I might want a speaker! "You didn't specify it". "I didn't specify it had to be powered by electricity either but you managed to work that out". Anyway problem solved by plugging some speakers into one of the million or so holes in the back.
Lots more still to get transferred over but on the whole a huge leap forward.
Well it's up and running.
Only 2 problems so far.
Firstly I can't get my MP3 player's software loaded as for some reason it's refusing to recognise the serial number. Perhaps this is the incentive to get an iPod?
Secondly, depite specifying a video card and confirming there was an audio card, so we could burn DVDs etc of the kids to send home to grandparents, it never occurred to the builder that I might want a speaker! "You didn't specify it". "I didn't specify it had to be powered by electricity either but you managed to work that out". Anyway problem solved by plugging some speakers into one of the million or so holes in the back.
Lots more still to get transferred over but on the whole a huge leap forward.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
????????
Jan. 12 (Bloomberg) -- Oxford University researchers are to torture Christians in a U.S.-funded program to find out if belief in God can help to relieve the pain, the London-based Times reported, citing the scientists involved.
The team won't use traditional items of torture such as the rack used by the Spanish Inquisition, which started in the 13th century; rather, pain will be inflicted by simulated burns under strict supervision, the newspaper said, citing research chief
Toby Collins.
As the pain is induced, the volunteers will be shown Christian religious symbols such as a crucifix or images of the Virgin Mary, to measure neurological response, the Times said.
The scientists want to get a better idea of the way people with intense religious beliefs can withstand pain, the paper said, adding that the project is being paid for by $2 million from the U.S.-based John Templeton Foundation.
Whose idea was this?
Why does anyone want to know this?
How do you inflict a "simulated burn"?
Who would be stupid enough to volunteer?
And surely if they really want to know they could just go to Guantanamo Bay or Abu Ghraib prison and play religious lunatics there?
Jan. 12 (Bloomberg) -- Oxford University researchers are to torture Christians in a U.S.-funded program to find out if belief in God can help to relieve the pain, the London-based Times reported, citing the scientists involved.
The team won't use traditional items of torture such as the rack used by the Spanish Inquisition, which started in the 13th century; rather, pain will be inflicted by simulated burns under strict supervision, the newspaper said, citing research chief
Toby Collins.
As the pain is induced, the volunteers will be shown Christian religious symbols such as a crucifix or images of the Virgin Mary, to measure neurological response, the Times said.
The scientists want to get a better idea of the way people with intense religious beliefs can withstand pain, the paper said, adding that the project is being paid for by $2 million from the U.S.-based John Templeton Foundation.
Whose idea was this?
Why does anyone want to know this?
How do you inflict a "simulated burn"?
Who would be stupid enough to volunteer?
And surely if they really want to know they could just go to Guantanamo Bay or Abu Ghraib prison and play religious lunatics there?
NEW P.C.
Tonight is the night my new p.c. gets delivered. Thanks to the invaluable help of Shaky it has lots of Gigabytes, lots of Gigahertz, some RAMs, some ROMs, a couple of hard drives, some bits made by Intel, Windows XP, bluetooth, a wireless keyboard, a wireless mouse and most importantly a 17" LCD screen (that's the only part I understand).
Finally our 4 yr old Dell will be put out of it's increasing misery.
Or alternatively I shall come in tomorrow swearing, effing and blinding at how hard it is to get bloody computers to work.
I know which is more likely given my track record.
Tonight is the night my new p.c. gets delivered. Thanks to the invaluable help of Shaky it has lots of Gigabytes, lots of Gigahertz, some RAMs, some ROMs, a couple of hard drives, some bits made by Intel, Windows XP, bluetooth, a wireless keyboard, a wireless mouse and most importantly a 17" LCD screen (that's the only part I understand).
Finally our 4 yr old Dell will be put out of it's increasing misery.
Or alternatively I shall come in tomorrow swearing, effing and blinding at how hard it is to get bloody computers to work.
I know which is more likely given my track record.
BLOG AWARD NONSENSE
I am very disappointed that I received no bids for my votes for the Blog Awards Simon was running. I was hoping to make a tidy little sum from some desperate blogger keen to see his feeble offering elevated up the ranks.
Next year I shall offer a fee system - HK$XXX for so many votes. I can go round the office here and vote from lots of different machines, plus there are all the Pacific Coffee etc freebie machines I can use so I hope to really clean up next time as I reckon I can come up with 100 votes for sale if I try my hardest.
Also seeing as there were more categories of blog than you can shake a large stick at I think it is time to add a category for a cruelly under-represented minority - Blogs with 2 word titles beginning with S and W and using a total of 13 letters.
It makes as much sense as some of the other categories (and more than several).
I am very disappointed that I received no bids for my votes for the Blog Awards Simon was running. I was hoping to make a tidy little sum from some desperate blogger keen to see his feeble offering elevated up the ranks.
Next year I shall offer a fee system - HK$XXX for so many votes. I can go round the office here and vote from lots of different machines, plus there are all the Pacific Coffee etc freebie machines I can use so I hope to really clean up next time as I reckon I can come up with 100 votes for sale if I try my hardest.
Also seeing as there were more categories of blog than you can shake a large stick at I think it is time to add a category for a cruelly under-represented minority - Blogs with 2 word titles beginning with S and W and using a total of 13 letters.
It makes as much sense as some of the other categories (and more than several).
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Friday, January 07, 2005
FUTILE
Just back from the gym. I spent a bit of time on one of those stairclimber things and, as there’s nothing to do except stand there and mindlessly walk uphill without moving, I was idly looking around and let my mind wander. All around me where people frantically trying to sweat off the excesses of Christmas and new year. It was then that I was struck by the futility of it all.
We invent bicycles so we don’t have to walk or run, and then spend hours on treadmills. We invent cars so we don’t have to cycle and then go to spinning classes. We invent lifts so we don’t have to walk up stairs and then spend hours on stairmasters.
What a waste of time.
On the plus side I do feel as though I’ve earnt tonight’s curry.
Just back from the gym. I spent a bit of time on one of those stairclimber things and, as there’s nothing to do except stand there and mindlessly walk uphill without moving, I was idly looking around and let my mind wander. All around me where people frantically trying to sweat off the excesses of Christmas and new year. It was then that I was struck by the futility of it all.
We invent bicycles so we don’t have to walk or run, and then spend hours on treadmills. We invent cars so we don’t have to cycle and then go to spinning classes. We invent lifts so we don’t have to walk up stairs and then spend hours on stairmasters.
What a waste of time.
On the plus side I do feel as though I’ve earnt tonight’s curry.
ENGLAND V SOUTH AFRICA
What a series so far! Records set in every game.
Game 1 - England win thier eighth cosecutive test match - their longest ever run of victories.
Game 2 - England score 139 in their first innings, and 570-7 in their second. The difference is the biggest ever difference between innings scores by the same team in a test match. South Africa manage to hang on until bad light stopped play early and the match is drawn, leaving England as the only international cricekt team to go through 2004 unbeaten.
Game 3 - South Africa come back strongly and thump England, who bat dismally. In England's second innings the top scorer in no.11 Steve Harmison. to emphasise how feeble England's batting was this is the first time in test cricket that a no.11 has top scored, and apparently only the 7th time ever in all first-class cricket.
Now the series moves to Johannesburg next Thursday. I can't wait!
What a series so far! Records set in every game.
Game 1 - England win thier eighth cosecutive test match - their longest ever run of victories.
Game 2 - England score 139 in their first innings, and 570-7 in their second. The difference is the biggest ever difference between innings scores by the same team in a test match. South Africa manage to hang on until bad light stopped play early and the match is drawn, leaving England as the only international cricekt team to go through 2004 unbeaten.
Game 3 - South Africa come back strongly and thump England, who bat dismally. In England's second innings the top scorer in no.11 Steve Harmison. to emphasise how feeble England's batting was this is the first time in test cricket that a no.11 has top scored, and apparently only the 7th time ever in all first-class cricket.
Now the series moves to Johannesburg next Thursday. I can't wait!
HAIRSTYLE OF THE YEAR
This year's mad hairstyle of the year award has already been decided. I just shared a lift with a young chinese lady. I reckon if you removed the hair she would be roughly 5ft tall. However if you include what I can only describe as the SuperAfro that she was sporting then she was definitely approaching 6ft.
She looked like the long-lost small female chinese member of the Jackson Five
God knows how she got someone to agree to do that for her.
Or why.
This year's mad hairstyle of the year award has already been decided. I just shared a lift with a young chinese lady. I reckon if you removed the hair she would be roughly 5ft tall. However if you include what I can only describe as the SuperAfro that she was sporting then she was definitely approaching 6ft.
She looked like the long-lost small female chinese member of the Jackson Five
God knows how she got someone to agree to do that for her.
Or why.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Bulgarian's blood-alcohol level astounds doctors
SOFIA, BULGARIA - Bulgarian doctors tested a man's blood-alcohol level five times before accepting it was 0.914 - nearly twice the amount considered to be life-threatening.
The 67-year-old man landed in hospital on Dec. 20 after a car knocked him off his feet in the southern Bulgarian city of Plovdiv, police and doctors said Tuesday.
A breath test indicated blood-alcohol levels so high that police thought their equipment was broken, because the man remained conscious and talked with them.
The head of Plovdiv police, Col. Angel Rangelov, said five separate lab tests taken the same day confirmed the man's blood-alcohol level of 0.914.
A blood-alcohol level of 0.55 is considered potentially fatal.
In comparison, the Bulgarian man's level was more than 11 times higher than the legal blood-alcohol limit for drivers in Canada, which is 0.08.
The man, who has not been identified, was reported to be in stable condition after being treated for head injuries.
Thanks to Genghis for this little gem
SOFIA, BULGARIA - Bulgarian doctors tested a man's blood-alcohol level five times before accepting it was 0.914 - nearly twice the amount considered to be life-threatening.
The 67-year-old man landed in hospital on Dec. 20 after a car knocked him off his feet in the southern Bulgarian city of Plovdiv, police and doctors said Tuesday.
A breath test indicated blood-alcohol levels so high that police thought their equipment was broken, because the man remained conscious and talked with them.
The head of Plovdiv police, Col. Angel Rangelov, said five separate lab tests taken the same day confirmed the man's blood-alcohol level of 0.914.
A blood-alcohol level of 0.55 is considered potentially fatal.
In comparison, the Bulgarian man's level was more than 11 times higher than the legal blood-alcohol limit for drivers in Canada, which is 0.08.
The man, who has not been identified, was reported to be in stable condition after being treated for head injuries.
Thanks to Genghis for this little gem
THE CHARIOTEERS MOVIE REVIEW
Bridget Jones Diary – The Edge of Reason
The Edge of Reasonable Suspension of Disbelief more like.
Renee Zellwegger famously piled on the pounds for the first movie and vowed afterwards, when a sequel was mooted, that she would never do it again. She then re-read the cheque, sorry – I mean script, and set about the pizza and doughnuts with gusto. In fact I think she may have overdone it a bit this time. Her character appears to have spent the supposed 8 weeks between the end of the first movie and the start of this one indulging in some sort of pie-eating frenzy and now looks positively zeppelin-like for most of the movie.
As for the movie itself…? Well they appear to have picked out the bits that audiences liked in the first one - her hopeless organization skills, her ability to make a fool of herself in her job as a TV reporter, comedy fight scenes between the dastardly Daniel Cleaver and the saintly Mark Darcy, etc - and decided to repeat them ad nauseam, with a Thai jail scene thrown in for luck.
The result is a movie with a fair bit of slapstick, some of which works and some of which doesn’t (I will admit to have laughed a few times, and smiled a few more), and a ludicrous plot. It is sadly almost immediately forgettable.
Truly candyfloss for the brain. All light and fluffy with no substance.
Except for Renee and her pies obviously.
Bridget Jones Diary – The Edge of Reason
The Edge of Reasonable Suspension of Disbelief more like.
Renee Zellwegger famously piled on the pounds for the first movie and vowed afterwards, when a sequel was mooted, that she would never do it again. She then re-read the cheque, sorry – I mean script, and set about the pizza and doughnuts with gusto. In fact I think she may have overdone it a bit this time. Her character appears to have spent the supposed 8 weeks between the end of the first movie and the start of this one indulging in some sort of pie-eating frenzy and now looks positively zeppelin-like for most of the movie.
As for the movie itself…? Well they appear to have picked out the bits that audiences liked in the first one - her hopeless organization skills, her ability to make a fool of herself in her job as a TV reporter, comedy fight scenes between the dastardly Daniel Cleaver and the saintly Mark Darcy, etc - and decided to repeat them ad nauseam, with a Thai jail scene thrown in for luck.
The result is a movie with a fair bit of slapstick, some of which works and some of which doesn’t (I will admit to have laughed a few times, and smiled a few more), and a ludicrous plot. It is sadly almost immediately forgettable.
Truly candyfloss for the brain. All light and fluffy with no substance.
Except for Renee and her pies obviously.
WWW.....
In the early days of television it was expected to be an almost exclusively educational tool. News, information, documentaries, classes etc etc. It was never thought it would become a mass entertainment media aiming mainly for the lowest comment denominator (how else could you explain the existence of Jim Davidson on UK TV).
The internet has similarly been heralded as a global information system which will revolutionise our lives, providing instant news, info and data quickly, on demand and with minimal effort.
Or is it destined to become just another source of titillation, entertainment and amusement?
Perhaps Googles Global Top Ten Searches for 2004 will provide an answer.
1. Britney Spears
2. Paris Hilton
3. Christina Aguilera
4. Pamela Anderson
5. Chat
6. Games
7. Carmen Electra
8. Orlando Bloom
9. Harry Potter
10. mp3
I think that answers that one
In the early days of television it was expected to be an almost exclusively educational tool. News, information, documentaries, classes etc etc. It was never thought it would become a mass entertainment media aiming mainly for the lowest comment denominator (how else could you explain the existence of Jim Davidson on UK TV).
The internet has similarly been heralded as a global information system which will revolutionise our lives, providing instant news, info and data quickly, on demand and with minimal effort.
Or is it destined to become just another source of titillation, entertainment and amusement?
Perhaps Googles Global Top Ten Searches for 2004 will provide an answer.
1. Britney Spears
2. Paris Hilton
3. Christina Aguilera
4. Pamela Anderson
5. Chat
6. Games
7. Carmen Electra
8. Orlando Bloom
9. Harry Potter
10. mp3
I think that answers that one